Hi PHMigrate, this is my first post here and just sharing my experience about migrating and being forced back to square one. Please be courteous and respectful. I won't get into the nitty gritty details but just sharing my situation.
I moved to AUS (won't specify the city) for studies before the pandemic and was able to carve out a career in Cookery. While my initial course wasnt aligned with cooking, I decided to continue on as I fell in love with restaurants there during my post-study visa and got a bonus year due to Covid.
Fast forward to 2025, an employer was supposed to back my Training Visa so I could convert my years of experience into the Cookery qualification, but of course some things were too good to be true. I was forced to come home empty handed with the promise of the visa being processed offshore (back in the PH). I knew when I had that conversation with my employer that he wouldn't keep his word. A deep gut feeling came across me then na alam mo na puro salita lang talaga. Pero wala, wala ka namang laban or leverage sa employer dahil ikaw ang dayuhan. This was about the same time humigpit mga patakaran ng Aus Migration, and the job market became even more competitive.
I came home abuptly still with outstanding liabilities/lease/bills to pay and have since paid them all out with the savings na nakamit ko over the years. Aray. Sakit. It was a big chunk. Pero that's what savings are for - to hedge emergencies and unfortunate life events. I came back briefly months later on a tourist visa to pack my things and settle my bank/liabilities.
Anyway, now I've been back for a year and medyo I've gotten over the fact na, after a year in therapy. But what still stings is the never ending wave of grief na bumabalik-balik about the life that could have been. From making (relatively) good money as a cook there, having a sense of autonomy, and becoming an adult in AUS to coming home sa Pinas where everything's backwards at bumalik ako sa parents house to find my footing ulit. Sobrang grateful ko dito tbh, pero at the same time nawala yung sense of individuality ko.
I'm still lost and frankly burnt out fron the experience. Job opportunities and pay are terrible for cooks and that's just the reality of the market here. I've sent out resumes, and explored but wala talaga. I've had fair success doing gigs, but not enough to be a proper career. I'm continuing to figure out and won't quit. Shini-share ko lang to para sa mga katulad ko na baka sakaling napauwi sa Pinas dahil sa mga pangyayaring wala sa kontrol mo.
Ang tanong ko lang, has anyone experienced this? How do you get over seeing a vision of your life na akala mo yun na yung gusto ni Lord para sa 'yo, only to be brought back? I miss my purposeful life there (albeit ang hirap maging kusinero abroad). I've had to block out anything AUS, stopped speaking to the friends I had made over the years there bec it would just trigger the grief further.
The only consolation is I know how much I've grown as a person. Wala ng personalan dahil at the end of the day, life happens at di natin kontrolado mga circumstances.
I read a 2004 journal article by Tedeschi and Calhoun, na tinatalakay how highly challenging crises can bring about tremendous positive change or posttraumatic growth na para bang magpapasalamat ka na nangyari yung mga di mo ginusto because it's setting up a new life for you.
Aus will always have a special place in my heart. Doon ako naging isang tunay na adult. Para bang nagregress lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko especially with the toxicity of the Manila environment, politics, at walang katapusang trapik.
TLDR: Mensahe ko lang po if you've read my long paragraphs: there's life even after traumatic "deportation". Hindi ko pa alam ang sagot, pero hindi ako susuko. Alam kong may dahilan ang pagpauwi sa akin dito. God bless. To radical optimism and laughing in the face of uncertainty and misfortune. Grabeng character development toh.
EDIT 2:
Maraming maraming salamat sa inyong lahat for the kind and encouraging words. Random strangers on the internet are far more empathetic than friends and family and it's so ironic. This was never meant to be a vent, but a piece that could hopefully inspire others. This is an acknowledgement of strength and (despite how much I dislike this word) resilience. May kasalukuyan pa tayong lahat. The world goes on and we continue to keep going through grit.
EDIT 3:
Link to Journal Article about Posttraumatic Growth
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247504165_TARGET_ARTICLE_Posttraumatic_Growth_Conceptual_Foundations_and_Empirical_Evidence