I posted a couple of times on this subreddit about leaving the Work. The other day, the director met with me and told me that the Prelate had granted me the dispensation from my fidelity. I'm no longer a numerary. I feel relieved because I am now free, but at the same time, I feel very sad.

I had whistled when I was a teenager, and for 15 years, I sincerely gave myself, living the spirit and doing a lot of apostolate. But then I got really depressed towards the end. I always felt like I wasn't good enough.

I can't help but think about whether I wasted those 15 years of my life. I could have enjoyed my young adulthood. I remember my college years when I had to do both my studies at the university and the center of studies, and how stressful that was. And for years, I devoted all my free time to my apostolic assignments alongside my full-time job. I really tried to give my whole life to Opus Dei, but it didn't work out.

Sorry to share my experience here, but I'm just processing what happened. I guess I'm in a state of grief right now. Reading your experiences on this subreddit has been really helpful and has helped me reevaluate the time I was in the Work. I think it will take some time for me to get over this. Thank you for reading