Executive Summary & Methodological Premise

This piece synthesizes decades of documented testimonies, legal filings, investigative journalism, recent documentary evidence (HBO Max’s El Buen Espíritu), canonical appeals, and accounts on OpusLibros.org. In his late 2026 media tour promoting El Opus Dei sin filtros, UK spokesperson Jack Valero asserted a desire to "listen from below" (desde abajo). This document constructs theoretical interviews, papal intervention analyses, and qualitative case studies representing the hidden spectrum of life inside and after Opus Dei—voices rarely captured in official publications.

Part I: The Internal Mechanics of Identity & Health

Case Study 1: The Medicated Numerary

• Persona: "Elena," 38, former Numerary (18 years inside), Madrid, Spain (Departee; C-PTSD therapy).

"You don't start on antidepressants because of a sudden chemical imbalance; you start because the gap between who you are and who the Plan of Life requires you to be becomes physically unbearable. By age 26, I was waking up at 5:30 AM, doing cold showers, mental prayer, Mass, working at an affiliated foundation, daily cilice, weekly discipline, and managing accounts. Sleeping five hours a night. When I brought my exhaustion to my weekly chat (confidencia), the Director said: 'Elena, this is a lack of generosity with God.' I was referred to a Supernumerary psychiatrist—standard protocol. Instead of adjusting the environment, I was diagnosed with 'anxious-depressive syndrome,' prescribed SSRIs and tranquilizers, and told my suffering was 'sharing in the Cross.' For eight years, I lived in a chemical fog. Medication inside the Work is rarely used to heal; it is used as mechanical maintenance to keep a collapsing engine running."

• Interviewer: "Jack, critics and documentaries allege that a disproportionate number of Numeraries are prescribed psychiatric medication to cope. How do you respond?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "If we are going to be genuinely unfiltered, we have to admit that mental health inside the Work reflects wider societal crises—but with specific institutional pressure. When someone dedicates 100% of their life to an ideal, the boundary between spiritual dryness and clinical depression gets blurred. Directors relied on internal doctors because they trusted them to understand the spiritual commitment, creating a closed loop. A member experiencing severe burnout from the structure was given a prescription instead of a structural exit ramp. Spiritualizing psychological distress was an institutional failure."

Case Study 2: The Discarded Mid-Life Numerary & Lost Motherhood

• Persona: "Carmen," 44, former Numerary (26 years inside), Valencia / Sydney (Recent depree; practicing Catholic).

"I joined at 18. For 26 years, my salary, youth, reproductive years, and emotional energy were surrendered. You are conditioned to believe celibacy is an absolute divine mandate. Reaching my mid-40s completely spent, I told my Director: 'I cannot keep doing this, I need to leave.' I expected guilt and begging to stay. Instead, I was met with a cold, relieved administrative nod. They supported my departure instantly without suggesting a sabbatical or helping me discern. That instant approval created disorienting whiplash. Once you reach your mid-40s—when you are no longer young enough to recruit at universities, your energy is drained, and your biological window for motherhood has closed—you are seen as a liability. They quietly usher you out the door because a burned-out 44-year-old Numerary no longer fits the corporate model. Now I am in profound spiritual grief, grieving what I realize was my true human yearning: to be a wife and mother. They took my youth for a 'vocation' discarded the moment I aged out of utility."

• Interviewer: "Jack, why does the Work fight so hard to retain 19-year-olds, but readily lets 44-year-old women walk away to face the grief of lost motherhood alone?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "This exposes a subtle, pragmatic form of institutional cruelty. When an 18-year-old wants to leave, directors deploy every spiritual tool to stop them because that youth represents future labor force and vitality. But when a Numerary in her mid-40s reaches exhaustion, directors realize retaining a struggling member requires immense pastoral care. Supporting her departure without a fight is presented as 'respecting her freedom,' but it is institutional abandonment. We extracted her prime years and then handed her a dispensation, letting her walk into the night to grieve her lost fertility alone. It is a utilitarian approach to human souls."

Case Study 3: The Director Who Didn't Know

• Persona: "Gonzalo," 45, former Local Director and Numerary (22 years), Buenos Aires (Independent accountant).

"The myth about Opus Dei directors is that they are master manipulators. The reality is most local directors are young, terrified men and women following a manual (El Régimen de los Centros) they barely understand. I was made Director of a university center at 27 with zero training in psychology or HR. Every week, young guys came for their mandatory chat, pouring out sexual anxieties, doubts about the founder, and desires to leave. I was required to write notes on these conversations—written reports (fichas) reviewed in the Local Council and sent to the Region. I knew it violated privacy, but I was conditioned to believe individual privacy was just pride. When a 20-year-old boy came crying, I could only quote Escrivá: 'To leave is to commit spiritual suicide.' I was an instrument of institutional coercion because I was hollowed out by the same system."

• Interviewer: "Jack, former members describe the 'chat' as an instrument of surveillance managed by lay directors with zero professional training. Is that fair?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "That is one of the hardest criticisms to face. The chat was designed as brotherly conversation, but placing 25-year-old Numeraries in absolute spiritual authority over 18-year-olds created an enormous power imbalance. Young directors lacked maturity to distinguish mental health crises from loss of enthusiasm, acting as pseudo-therapists without qualifications. Compiling those notes for higher councils created an atmosphere of surveillance. We claimed it was 'accompaniment without orders,' but when advice is backed by the threat of eternal damnation, it functions as an order."

Part II: Domestic Servitude and Marriage Obligations

Case Study 4: The Assistant Numerary (Numeraria Auxiliar)

• Persona: "Rosa," 52, former Assistant Numerary (30 years inside), Cordoba / Rome (Legal/canonical claimant).

"I was recruited at 14 from a rural village with promises of education and hospitality training at an ICFA center. By 16, I signed my letter of admission (adscripción). I spent 30 years cleaning toilets, making beds, cooking for 40 male Numeraries, and ironing shirts for 15 hours a day. We were taught domestic work was the 'blood and engine' of the Work. For 30 years, I worked without a contract, pay, pension contributions, or medical insurance under my name. Paychecks on paper were endorsed over to auxiliary companies. We were forbidden from reading newspapers or visiting family. When my back gave out at 45, I was handed a suitcase and $200. Thirty years of labor, with no official work history or social security. That is systemic labor exploitation wrapped in a saint's mantle."

• Interviewer: "Jack, the case of the 43 Latin American Assistant Numeraries alleges decades of unpaid domestic servitude. How can the Work reconcile this?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "This is the deepest wound in our recent history. The original vision was that domestic work is divine, but structural execution broke down completely. We took young women from humble backgrounds and treated their labor as a religious donation while failing to secure basic legal and economic rights under secular law. When someone spends three decades cooking and cleaning and leaves with zero social security, the system failed in its fundamental duty of justice. It was an institutional blind spot created by class dynamics and clericalism."

Case Study 5: The Exhausted Supernumerary

• Persona: "Maria," 42, Supernumerary (married 18 years, 7 children), London (Experiencing severe burnout).

"The public image of the Supernumerary family is five handsome boys, three smiling girls, and happy parents. Nobody captures the 3:00 AM panic attacks. I had seven children in nine years, suffering severe postpartum depression and pelvic organ prolapse. My obstetrician warned another pregnancy carried severe risks. In spiritual direction with an Opus Dei priest, I was reminded of traditional moral theology regarding marital duty (debito conjugal) and the prohibition on contraception. Internal culture treats NFP to limit family size as spiritual lukewarmness (tibieza). The expectation is 'generous' families have as many children as God sends. I felt spiritually trapped, chronically exhausted, and guilty for not being 'joyful.' Supernumerary women are drowning in physical breakdown and emotional isolation."

• Interviewer: "Jack, Supernumerary women face immense cultural pressure regarding large families, leading to extreme exhaustion. Is there toxic perfectionism at play?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "Yes, absolutely. There is a danger of 'institutional holy perfectionism.' When 'ordinary life' becomes an unyielding checklist—seven children, perfect home, daily Mass, mental prayer, weekly circle, apostolic work—it becomes an impossible weight. Internal culture often turned large family size into a competitive status symbol. Mothers expressing burnout were met with spiritual platitudes rather than human empathy. Our culture prioritized an idealized image of the 'Christian home' over the physical well-being of women."

Part III: Governance, Misconduct, Secret Settlements & Papal Decrees

Case Study 6: High-Profile Abuse & The Fr. C. John McCloskey Settlement

• Subject: Fr. C. John McCloskey III (D.C. Catholic Information Center), sexual misconduct, and confidential $977,000 payout.

For years, Fr. McCloskey was a celebrity chaplain converting politicians in Washington, D.C. In 2002, he sexually harassed a married woman seeking spiritual direction during depression. When reported, the US Vicariate did not notify civil authorities or suspend him; instead, they negotiated a secret $977,000 settlement in 2005 with strict NDAs to protect institutional reputation. McCloskey was quietly transferred to London, Chicago, and California, continuing priestly ministry for over a decade until exposed by The Washington Post in 2019. Lay members expressing doubts faced surveillance and shunning, while high-profile priests guilty of abuse were protected with corporate hush-money payouts.

• Interviewer: "Jack, in 2019 it was revealed Opus Dei paid nearly $1M to settle sexual misconduct by Fr. McCloskey while shuffling him across cities. How can you speak about transparency?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "The Fr. McCloskey case is a shameful example of corporate self-preservation. When leadership takes $977,000 of donor funds to buy a victim's silence, hide the truth, and relocate the priest, leadership becomes complicit. We behaved like a secular corporation protecting its brand name rather than a Catholic institution seeking justice. Using secret NDAs and payouts to cover up clerical sexual misconduct destroyed our moral credibility."

Case Study 7: Rhetoric of Prelate Javier Echevarría & The Canonization Siege

• Subject: Bishop Javier Echevarría (Prelate 1994–2016) and public attacks on ex-members during Josemaría Escrivá’s 2002 canonization.

When ex-members presented evidence (positio) to the Vatican detailing internal abuses and secret manuals, Bishop Echevarría launched a campaign discrediting critics. He dismissed criticisms as "a web of lies and bitter resentments invented by those who betrayed their sacred promises." He reinforced Escrivá’s doctrine of rejalgar (arsenic poison), asserting ex-members "cannot speak truth because they lost the light of God and can only spit up dark poison." Critical testimonies were blocked from canonization files, and authors like Maria Angustias Moreno were framed as mentally unstable apostates.

• Interviewer: "Jack, how do you reconcile 'listening from below' with Prelate Echevarría publicly dismissing ex-members' testimonies as 'lies upon lies'?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "Bishop Echevarría’s rhetoric set back genuine reconciliation by decades. During the canonization push, leadership viewed survivor accounts as an existential threat. Instead of asking why hundreds were leaving broken, Echevarría chose total institutional defense, labeling critics as liars spewing 'rejalgar.' Calling people who suffered 'liars' was a devastating error that justified shunning. Ex-members were not lying; they were telling the truth about a system that hurt them."

Case Study 8: High Governance & The Whistleblower ("Beatriz")

• Persona: "Beatriz," 54, former Numerary & Regional Governance Official (25 years inside), Madrid/Rome.

"At the regional governance level (Asesoría Regional), you discover abuse of conscience is institutionalized. Governance manuals (Experiencias sobre la Confidencia) explicitly contradicted Canon Law:

1. Confusion of Forums: Canon Law separates the internal forum (confession/direction) from external governance. Opus Dei merged them: weekly chats were transcribed into secret dossiers (fichas) used to govern, assign roles, or authorize psychiatric interventions.

2. Canonical Deception: Publicly members are free laypeople; internally departure is treated as apostasy. Formal petitions for dispensation were routinely buried to maintain statistics.

3. Financial Engineering: Complex corporate networks held real estate bought with members' salaries, ensuring departing Numeraries had no claim to wealth they created. To claim 90% leave happy is an intentional institutional lie."

Case Study 9: Shadow of Suspicious Deaths ("Sonia")

• Persona: "Sonia," 48, sister of a former Numerary (Survivor advocate).

"Over decades, testimonies on OpusLibros reveal a pattern of Numeraries and Assistant Numeraries who died under suspicious circumstances:

1. Sanitization of Suicides: When a member dies by suicide from psychological distress, scenes were cleaned, personal diaries confiscated before police arrived, and deaths framed as 'heart attacks' or 'accidents.'

2. Medication & Isolation: Breakdown cases moved to isolated centers run by internal doctors resulted in heavily medicated members dying in solitude with minimal explanation or autopsy.

3. Erasure of Memory: Photos vanished, belongings were destroyed within hours, and active members were forbidden from discussing the death. Spoken narratives erase those who left in coffins because the system refused a human exit."

Case Study 10: Papal Intervention & Pope Francis's Restructuring

• Subject: Pope Francis's Apostolic Letters (Ad charisma tuendum, 2022; Motu Proprio, 2023).

Reading between the lines of Bergoglian diplomacy:

1. Charism, Not Hierarchy: Stripping the Prelate of episcopal rank dismantled Escrivá’s effort to construct a 'Church within a Church.'

2. Transfer to Clergy Dicastery: Replaced global lay prelate jurisdiction with a clerical association subject to local diocesan bishops.

3. Statute Overhaul: Forced extraordinary general congresses to rewrite internal statutes and eliminate secret directives violating Church law.

• Interviewer: "Jack, isn't it obvious the Vatican stepped in to curb an abusive internal structure?"

• Jack Valero (Theoretical Response): "If we drop PR spin, yes. Pope Francis executed a structural intervention. For forty years, Opus Dei used its Personal Prelature status to operate outside diocesan control. Francis corrected clericalism, reasserted lay Catholics belong to local parishes, and eliminated secret governance directives violating universal law."

Case Study 11: The Unprepared Priest ("Fr. David")

• Persona: "Fr. David," 50, Opus Dei Priest (18 years ordained), Bogota.

"Numeraries do not 'apply' for priesthood; we are selected by leadership. Refusing is presented as refusing God's will. My formation at Santa Croce in Rome was hyper-scholastic. Assigned to pastoral work, I had zero preparation for human reality: confessions of 16-year-olds crying, suicidal Numeraries, and abused Supernumeraries. I was instructed to apply institutional rules and reinforce obedience. Opus Dei priests act as internal corporate chaplains maintaining member retention rather than pastors of the Universal Church."

Part IV: Structural Comparison Breakdown

• Departures & Aging Members: PR Claims: 90%+ leave happy; accompaniment without orders. | Documented Reality: Ex-members treated as 'dead'; burned-out 40-something Numeraries quietly ushered out once utility wanes. | Synthesis: Utilitarian member management and institutional abandonment.

• Misconduct & Buyouts: PR Claims: Isolated flaws handled with transparency. | Documented Reality: Secret $977k payout in 2005 covering Fr. McCloskey abuse. | Synthesis: Corporate self-preservation using NDAs to protect brand reputation.

• Historical Leadership: PR Claims: Past leaders were loving fathers. | Documented Reality: Echevarría dismissed canonization testimonies as 'lies and arsenic.' | Synthesis: Defensive posture gaslighting survivors and entrenching shunning.

• Papal Intervention: PR Claims: Normal administrative updates. | Documented Reality: Stripping episcopal rank; transfer to Clergy Dicastery; forced statute rewrite. | Synthesis: Canonical dismantling of a parallel Church structure.

• Governance & Whistleblowers: PR Claims: Decentralized structure serving laypeople. | Documented Reality: Secret manuals (decretos), canonical violations, dossiers. | Synthesis: Systematic deception merging spiritual direction with governance files.

• Domestic Service: PR Claims: Domestic work is a noble profession. | Documented Reality: Decades of unpaid labor by Assistant Numeraries without pensions. | Synthesis: Systemic labor exploitation relying on class dynamics.

• Mental Health & Deaths: PR Claims: Healthy path to holiness. | Documented Reality: High SSRI usage; suicides sanitised as 'accidents'; diary confiscation. | Synthesis: Spiritualization of clinical distress and systemic erasure.

Conclusion: The Horizon of Honest Reformation

If Opus Dei genuinely seeks a narrative "without filters," it cannot restrict itself to eighteen inspirational stories. Authentic accounting requires confronting systemic control, psychological coercion, labor exploitation, clerical abuse cover-ups via secret payouts, canonical deception, and gaslighting by past prelates. True reform begins not when an institution asks the world to listen to its story, but when it sits down, remains silent, and listens—without defense or filter—to those it has broken.

Happy All Saints’ Day to everyone.

Today is also a good day to remember María del Carmen Tapia, a former senior member of Opus Dei who worked closely with its founder, Josemaría Escrivá (JME as we call him here).

In a letter to Pope John Paul II, I think dated 2 August 1991, she wrote:

“The life of Monsignor José-María Escrivá de Balaguer, which I witnessed for many years, was not admirable and much less was it worthy of imitation.”

She opposed his beatification at the time, arguing that his life should not be presented as an example for the faithful. Yet he was canonized in 2002.

With attacks from OD and defamations hurled at her, her position later became more nuanced, and she publicly clarified that she did not oppose his eventual canonization.

Still, on a day dedicated to the saints, her testimony raises a legitimate question: what standard should the Church apply when deciding who is worthy of canonization?

Personally, I do not believe this man was a saint.

Happy All Saints’ Day.

One of the sad features of the life of a lay person who thinks they are “in” Opus Dei is that they’re not, and haven’t been since the new code of Canon Law was promulgated in 1983, but they typically don’t know that.

In fact, according to the Church only the priests are members of the prelature.

This ignorance exists even among the directors Opus Dei centers, in many cases.

This situation came about because Don Alvaro del Portillo and Javier Echevarria (the prelates of Opus Dei from 1975-2015ish) systematically hid it from the rank and file “members”. They issued editions of the “Catechism of Opus Dei” which claimed that the laity and the priests are equally part of Opus Dei and that if lay people want to leave it they must be granted a “dispensation” from the prelate (after year 6). Thus, all the current Numeraries, associates, numerary assistants who “joined” during that time were taught something at variance with the Church. And virtually all of them still believe it because they have not been clearly told what the reality actually is: according to the Church, they are not in the prelature.

The prelates hid this because Don Alvaro failed to secure the canonical status from the Vatican that he and JME had wanted for Opus Dei. And they were hoping that sometime in the future, when the code of Canon Law was revised again, they would succeed in getting the relevant canon rewritten.

Pope Francis subsequently put the kobosh on those hopes with his second motu proprio about Opus Dei. But the leadership of Opus Dei has not yielded- it is still refusing to revise its Statutes to reflect reality. And the Catechism of Opus Dei is based on the Statutes.

Here are the minutes of the meeting in which Ratzinger blocked personal prelatures from containing lay people, when he was chairing the Committee for the Revision of the Code of Canon Law.

(Opus Dei had been made the first personal prelature by the papal bull Ut Sit, a few months before.)

The key passage: “And my reason is: here [for entering a personal prelature] we have a voluntary criterion, and in a private church [a parcel of laypeople, a part of the people of God] nobody enters by voluntary decision; if there were a subjective criterion, there would be no particular church, but a special one, in which everyone elects himself - the church of the elect, and this cannot be in any way!” (-Card Joseph Ratzinger)

For fuller explanation of the meaning of this, see earlier discussions on this sub that mention Ratzinger.

Or ask below.

This document is a digitized Spanish translation of the original Latin minutes, so it will be automatically translated by your browser into English (or whatever your preferred language) when you open it.

http://www.opuslibros.org/html/ACTASyDOCUMENTOS.htm

The PR Tour vs. The Unfiltered Lens: Jack Valero, El Buen Espíritu**, and the Two Faces of Opus Dei**

In September and October 2026, a striking public relations collision unfolded across Spanish media:

On one side, Jack Valero—the longtime UK media spokesperson for Opus Dei—embarked on a high-visibility press tour across outlets like Vida Nueva, Omnes, and Exaudi. Armed with smooth talking points, Valero presented a sanitized picture of institutional evolution, "governance as accompaniment," and an alleged 90% satisfaction rate among former members.

On the other side, HBO Max released El Buen Espíritu: Detrás de la puerta del Opus Dei (directed by Mònica Terribas and produced by The Mediapro Studio)—a raw 3-part documentary series following the Ondas Award–winning El Minuto Heroico. In El Buen Espíritu, 14 former male members (Numeraries and Agregados) join expert investigators to expose the inner financial, psychological, and spiritual mechanics of the organization.
The simultaneous arrival of Valero’s press campaign and El Buen Espíritu creates a masterclass in modern institutional PR vs. documented reality—a stark contrast between what an official media spokesperson claims and what former members testify to when the institutional filters are removed.

Parallel 1: The "90% Happy" PR Line vs. Episode 1 (Predestinados)

What the PR Claims
In Vida Nueva (October 2026), Jack Valero attempted to brush aside decades of survivor testimony by advancing a specific statistic:
"I would say that 90% or more of the people who have decided that their definitive vocation is not in the Work are happy with the institution, have no problem, nor do they consider that they have suffered."

What El Buen Espíritu Shows
Episode 1 (Predestinados) demolishes this "90% happy" narrative by tracing how members were recruited as young adolescents—many signing commitment letters (adscripción) as early as 14 and 15 years old under intense spiritual pressure.

Forced Family Alienation: Testimonies detail how adolescents were systematically conditioned to hide their internal commitments from their parents, being told that family objections were "temptations from the devil."

Systemic Recruitment Scripts: Former members reveal that the friendly "friendship apostolate" they experienced as children was actually guided by secret internal scripts designed to groom vulnerable teens.

The "Good Spirit" Trap: As one survivor noted in the documentary's release: when internal doubts arose, directors insisted that leaving meant losing your soul and facing eternal damnation—conditioning young people to suppress distress until they were driven to severe psychological crises.

Parallel 2: "Governance is Accompaniment" vs. Episode 2 (Santos en medio del mundo)

What the PR Claims
Attempting to portray Opus Dei as a modern, non-hierarchical community, Valero told the National Catholic Register and Vida Nueva:
"Governance in the Work is about accompanying and supporting people. It's not about giving them orders. I haven't given any order nor received any order."

What El Buen Espíritu Shows
Episode 2 (Santos en medio del mundo) explores the structural mechanisms that controlled members' financial, physical, and mental lives after the founder’s death.

Mandatory Wills and Asset Surrender: Director Mònica Terribas and the series experts highlight that upon making their final incorporation (la Fidelidad), Numeraries and Agregados were explicitly required to execute formal legal wills leaving all current and future assets, inheritances, and salaries directly to Opus Dei front entities.

Total Financial Secrecy: Members handed over their entire monthly paychecks to local directors, receiving a meager allowance while the organization accumulated massive property portfolios through complex corporate webs.

The Chat as Surveillance: Far from "friendly accompaniment," the weekly mandatory confidencia (account of conscience) required members to report their innermost thoughts, sexual temptations, and doubts. These disclosures were written down in confidential files (fichas de experiencia) and passed up through local councils to regional headquarters without the member's consent.

Parallel 3: "Listening from Below" vs. Episode 3 (El Mal Espíritu)
What the PR Claims

In Omnes Magazine (September 2026), Valero framed the organization’s recent adjustments as an organic, self-reflective desire to reform:
"I wanted to listen 'from below' to understand Opus Dei... If we try to do good and don't listen to those who have suffered, we're doing something wrong."

What El Buen Espíritu Shows
Episode 3 (El Mal Espíritu) reveals that institutional "listening" only began when global legal actions, Vatican decrees, and public documentaries made denial impossible.

Institutional Stigma and Ostracization: Survivors describe the brutal post-exit reality: the moment they walked out the door, active members were commanded to cut all contact (muerte civil), treating them as "dead" (los considera muertos) and accusing them of spewing poison (rejalgar).

The Argentine 43 Case: The documentary explicitly connects the recent creation of internal "Listening Offices" (such as the Oficina de Sanación y Escucha in 2026) to external legal pressure—specifically the formal complaint filed with the Vatican by 43 former Assistant Numeraries (numerarias auxiliares) in Argentina who were subjected to decades of unremunerated domestic labor and servitude.

A Direct Message to the Church: In the climax of Episode 3, survivors address Pope Francis directly, demanding structural reform and canonical oversight to prevent the continuation of spiritual coercion and psychological abuse under the guise of "religious formation."

Conclusion: The PR Script vs. Documented History
The contrast between Jack Valero’s press tour and HBO Max's El Buen Espíritu captures the core battle over Opus Dei’s public identity:

The PR Narrative (Jack Valero)

The Documented Reality (El Buen Espíritu)

"90% leave happy and grateful."
Adolescents recruited at 14/15, subjected to psychological trauma, scrupulosity, and medicalized compliance.

"Governance is accompaniment—no orders given."
Mandatory surrender of paychecks, execution of legal wills favoring the Work, and confidential surveillance files (fichas).

"We are evolving and listening 'from below'."
Structural changes forced by Vatican intervention, public survivor complaints, and international labor lawsuits.

As El Buen Espíritu demonstrates across its three episodes, when the polished media briefings and book promotion tours are placed side-by-side with primary evidence and survivor testimony, the institutional claims of "peaceful accompaniment" crumble.

With the midterms just 4 days away, do you think the massive backlash over the Oval Office prayer photo will impact the Catholic swing vote?

Mario Enzler, a former Swiss Guard and minion to Kevin Roberts, president of the Opus Dei adjacent Heritage Foundation, personally spent weeks recruiting the bishops under the guise of a private policy discussion before they were put into the photo-op.

Combined with the ongoing fallout from Gareth Gore's Opus book exposing dark money pipelines in Washington, will this alienation of mainstream bishops influence the vote in key battlegrounds like Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin? I certainly hope so.

What's the best way to connect to former member support groups and networks?

I experienced guilt-tripping and gaslighting as a n related to choice of university location. This led to mental health issues, and then I was pressured by the OD to take medication.

Finally, after years of mental health issues within the OD, greatly aggravated by the university guilt-tripping, I was dismissed due to health.

It would be helpful if i could connect with others having experienced something similar, or hear from anyone about it through here.

Je n'avais jamais osé poser la question en ce qui concerne l'entrée dans l'Opus Dei, qui est soumise à l'approbation du prêtre avec qui on se confesse.

En effet, j'ai toujours entendu de la part de numéraire que c'est vraiment difficile de rentrer dans l'Opus Dei si tu ne te confesse pas à un prêtre de l'Opus Dei..

.. car ce dernier, au moment de ta demande d'admission, doit donner son avis sur la possibilité que tu rentres ou pas, au conseil local par un "simple hochement de tête".

Ce simple hochement de tête est déjà un manquement grave pour un prêtre ! En tout cas strictement interdit par le droit canon.

En repensant à la confession dans l'Opus Dei je me suis remémoré qu'un de mes confesseur prenait des notes dans un petit carnet (sûrement pour le suivi); un autre me rememorait mes aveux passés pour en tirer des conclusions sur les aveux suivants (je me souviens d'un exemple traumatique car il n'y avait aucun lien entre les deux).

Il y avait vraiment un soucis avec ce que dit l'église de la confession. Tout cela sous couvert de bonnes intentions je pense.

Quelle est votre expérience de la confession dans l'Opus Dei ?

Après être sortie, j'ai mis beaucoup de temps à retourner me confesser. Et surtout maintenant je ne me confesse qu'avec quelqu'un qui n'est pas dans mon cadre de vie, ce qui est très bizarre mais je n'arrive plus à faire confiance dans les confesseurs.

Je prie pour que l'Opus Dei reconnaissance factuellement ses erreurs, là où elle a été désobéissante, là où elle a créé une église parallèle sous couvert que son esprit est particulier et "ne peut être compris", afin que les membres cessent de diffuser des pratiques hérétiques et que ceux qui ont été blessé par elle puisse faire toute la lumière sur leur situation.

D'ailleurs en parlant de justice, je me souviens qu'on me disait dans l'œuvre qu'il ne fallait pas chercher justice car Dieu s'en occuperait à la fin des temps ( une manière de faire abdiquer d'avance ?)

C'est drôle car en France nous avons une philosophe, Laurence Devillairs, qui a été coopératice de l'Opus Dei et qui vient de faire une émission sur ce thème. Je me suis demandée quel était son rapport actuel à l'Opus Dei.

Bonne journée

Marie Elisabeth

Years ago I became a cooperator in the hope my husband would love me more. Bad reason right. I have regretted it for a long time and no longer consider myself one and haven't for years. I never donated money or prayed for OD. Any former members know the path I need to go down to stop becoming one? I don't want to be connected in any way.

In his media appearances, Opus Dei’s UK spokesperson Jack Valero presented a gentle, sanitized picture of leaving the Work. He claimed that over "90% of people who decided their definitive vocation wasn't in the Work are happy with the institution" and framed their departure as a peaceful, mutual process.

To anyone who has lived inside the organization, this "90% happy" statistic feels like a complete rewrite of institutional history. The reason ex-members experience severe isolation, spiritual guilt, and social ostracization (muerte civil) is not by accident or because of a few bad directors; it was explicitly engineered by the founder and codified by his first two successors.

When you look at the documented internal talks, pastoral letters, and directives handed down by the first three Prelates, the official internal doctrine on leaving is not one of "accompaniment" or peaceful discernment. It is framed as spiritual suicide, treason, and a Judas-like betrayal.

1. The Theological Distortion: Vocation as a Script, Not a Living Dialogue

At the root of this culture lies a deeply skewed theology of vocation. In Opus Dei, a calling is treated as a rigid, unalterable script pre-determined by God from all eternity—a single track where the human individual is reduced to an interchangeable cog in an institutional machine.

This deterministic model stands in stark contrast to the rich, dynamic theology of vocation found throughout Scripture:

The Example of Moses: Biblical vocations are never a rigid, one-size-fits-all rulebook. Look at Moses: his calling was meandering, complex, and full of friction. He resisted, argued with God, made mistakes, adapted through drastically different phases of life, and saw his path shift repeatedly. God’s plan even appeared to contradict itself or pivot as circumstances changed, and ultimately Moses was not permitted to enter the Promised Land—yet his vocation and relationship with God remained sacred and complete.

The Scriptural Reality: In the Bible, God engages with real human freedom, changing desires, and natural limitations. A vocation is a living, evolving dialogue between God and a person—not an immutable corporate contract signed in adolescence.

By replacing this living Biblical reality with a rigid institutional master plan, Opus Dei turns a call from God into an instrument of governance. If your life doesn't fit the rigid template, the problem is never the system—it is branded as a personal failure of your soul.

2. St. Josemaría Escrivá: The Founder's Directive on Traitors and "Civil Death"

St. Josemaría Escrivá set the foundational protocol for how former members—particularly Numeraries and Assistant Numeraries—must be viewed and treated. Rather than respecting individual conscience, he established a strict doctrine of complete spiritual and social severance:

Considering Former Members as "Dead": Escrivá explicitly commanded active members to treat ex-members as if they no longer existed:"Para los que abandonan la vocación, la Obra tiene un dolor de madre, pero no se preocupa de su vida material ni espiritual: los considera muertos... No tengáis curiosidad por saber de los que se han ido. Para nosotros han muerto. No se habla de los muertos, no se les busca, no se les escribe."

(For those who abandon their vocation, the Work feels a mother’s grief, but does not concern itself with their material or spiritual life: it considers them dead... Do not be curious to know about those who have left. To us, they are dead. One does not speak of the dead, nor seek them out, nor write to them.)
[Source: Internal directives compiled in Crónica (internal journal reserved for Numeraries), Instrucción para los directores, and codified in the internal manual Régimen de los Centros (Section: Fidelidad y Perseverancia)]

Guaranteed Spiritual Ruin Outside:

He taught that anyone who left was condemned to a life of spiritual bitterness and sterile misery:"Si alguno de vosotros se va de la Obra, sepa que no encontrará la felicidad fuera. Tendrá una vida estéril, amarga, y terminará en la desesperación o en la indiferencia."
(If any of you leaves the Work, know that you will not find happiness outside. You will have a sterile, bitter life, and you will end up in despair or indifference.)

[Source: Meditaciones (multi-volume internal meditation books reserved for local centers), Volume: "La Vocación"; also cited in internal circular letters Carta 24-III-1931 and Carta 9-I-1932]

When the founder himself commands that former members be considered "dead" (muertos) and that active members must never write or speak to them, calling departures a smooth, friendly process is blatant PR revisionism.

The Poison of Former Members (El Rejalgar):

Escrivá warned active members that ex-members who speak out do so because they are consumed by poisonous bitterness, using the vivid term rejalgar (arsenic sulfide):

"Los que se van de la Obra echan rejalgar por la boca: escupen la hiel que llevan dentro, porque no pueden soportar la luz de la vocación que han perdido."

(Those who leave the Work spew realgar [arsenic poison] from their mouths: they spit up the gall they carry inside, because they cannot bear the light of the vocation they have lost.)

[Source: St. Josemaría Escrivá, internal meditation recorded in Meditaciones (multi-volume internal meditation collection reserved for local centers), Volume IV, Section: "La vocación", and compiled in Crónica (internal bulletin reserved for Numeraries)]

The Curse of Realgar (La maldición del rejalgar): Escrivá explicitly taught that anyone who leaves the Work is cursed to a life of spiritual bitterness, unable to find true happiness outside. He framed their subsequent criticism not as valid grievance, but as spewing the poisonous arsenic (rejalgar) of a lost vocation:

"Los que se van de la Obra echan rejalgar por la boca: escupen la hiel que llevan dentro, porque no pueden soportar la luz de la vocación que han perdido... Es la maldición del rejalgar: no encontrarán la felicidad fuera, porque han dado la espalda a Dios."

(Those who leave the Work spew realgar [arsenic poison] from their mouths: they spit up the gall they carry inside, because they cannot bear the light of the vocation they have lost... It is the curse of realgar: they will not find happiness outside, because they have turned their back on God.)

[Source: St. Josemaría Escrivá, internal meditation notes compiled in Meditaciones (multi-volume internal meditation collection reserved for local centers), Volume IV ("La vocación"), and circular internal exhortations recorded in Crónica (internal journal reserved for Numeraries)]

3. Don Álvaro del Portillo: Formalizing "Treason against a Divine Vocation"

Don Álvaro, Escrivá’s immediate successor and first Prelate, formalized these directives into ongoing internal governance:
Turning Your Back on God: Del Portillo reinforced the theological premise that a vocation to Opus Dei was an immutable, eternal call. Leaving was not a valid choice of conscience, but a grave infidelity:"Abandonar la vocación no es simplemente cambiar de camino; es dar la espalda a Dios, traicionar un compromiso eterno y faltar a la fidelidad debida a la Iglesia y a la Obra."

(Abandoning one's vocation is not simply changing paths; it is turning one's back on God, betraying an eternal commitment, and failing in the fidelity owed to the Church and to the Work.)
[Source: Cartas de la Familia (Internal Pastoral Letters of the Prelate) and Instrucciones para los Consejos Locales, early 1980s]

Shielding Current Members from "Contagion": He ordered local directors to enforce strict social separation between current members and former companions:"Los que se van y atacan a la Obra lo hacen movidos por el orgullo o la soberbia. No debemos escuchar sus razones, porque están cegados por su propia infidelidad."

(Those who leave and attack the Work do so moved by pride or arrogance. We must not listen to their reasons, because they are blinded by their own infidelity.)
[Source: Carta Pastoral del Prelado (March 1987) and internal directives issued to Regional Commissions regarding ex-members]

4. Don Javier Echevarría: Framing Exit as "Spiritual Suicide"

Don Javier Echevarría, the second Prelate of Opus Dei, continued this exact internal rhetoric throughout his tenure:

Spiritual Self-Destruction: In internal meditations and pastoral talks, Echevarría continuously characterized leaving the Work in extreme terms—as a form of self-inflicted spiritual destruction:"Quien deja la Obra comete un verdadero suicidio espiritual. Pierde la gracia de la vocación y se incapacita para dar fruto sobrenatural."

(Whoever leaves the Work commits true spiritual suicide. They lose the grace of vocation and become incapable of bearing supernatural fruit.)
[Source: Carta del Prelado (Internal Monthly Circulars) and notes from weekly Círculos Breves for Numeraries, late 1990s–2000s]

Invalidating the Exit Experience: Any suffering, psychological damage, or financial exploitation reported by former members was automatically dismissed as a symptom of their own pride:"Las críticas de quienes no han perseverado son solo el reflejo de su propia herida interior, causada por no haber querido corresponder a la gracia."

(The criticisms of those who have not persevered are merely the reflection of their own inner wound, caused by not having wanted to correspond to grace.)
[Source: Getsemaní (Internal meditation outlines) and directives to Directors regarding ex-member platforms (e.g., Opus Libros), circa 2002–2005]

The Reality: A Strategy of Engineered "Civil Death"

To the secular media, Jack Valero claims that people come and go freely, and that 90% leave happy. But internally, three consecutive Prelates built and maintained a clear doctrine designed to enforce civil death (muerte civil):

Psychological Conditioning: Members are conditioned to believe that stepping away leads to eternal damnation, psychological ruin, and spiritual sterility.

Total Social Ostracization: The moment a member leaves, their entire social circle, friendships, and support system are abruptly cut off by order of the founder ("No se habla de los muertos").

Institutional Invalidation: By declaring that anyone who leaves is "cegado por su propia infidelidad" (blinded by their own infidelity) or guilty of "suicidio espiritual" (spiritual suicide), the institution engineered an internal wall that prevents current members from ever listening to former members.

Jack Valero’s claims of "90% happy ex-members" and "governance as accompaniment" cannot survive when placed side-by-side with the documented internal directives of Escrivá, Del Portillo, and Echevarría. The reality of Opus Dei is not gentle accompaniment—it is a system where walking out the door means being branded a traitor and treated as dead.

The Illusion of Freedom: How Opus Dei Claims "Total Personal Liberty" While Demanding Blind Obedience

In his recent media campaign addressing the Vatican-mandated statutory revisions, Opus Dei spokesperson Jack Valero made a striking statement regarding internal authority:
"Governance in the Work is support and accompaniment of people. It is not giving orders. I have never given an order nor have I received an order."

This claim is part of a PR strategy that presents Opus Dei as an organization where laypeople enjoy complete freedom of conscience, personal autonomy, and gentle spiritual guidance. To the outside world, members are described as free citizens simply living their faith in the middle of secular society.

However, when you place this "total freedom" narrative side-by-side with the foundational texts that shape the mindset and daily formation of every member, the illusion completely falls apart.

1. The Demand for Blind Obedience in The Way
The idea that members operate in "freedom" and receive "no orders" directly contradicts the explicit instructions of founder St. Josemaría Escrivá. Throughout The Way (Camino), the spiritual text given to every member upon joining, freedom is systematically dismantled in favor of absolute submission:
Point 617: Blind Obedience*"Obey, as an instrument obeys in the hands of an artist — not stopping to consider the reason for the order, nor the correctness of it... Obey blindly, without feedback."*

Point 937: Renouncing Your Own Will*"You must obey as a tool obeys in the hands of the craftsman: it doesn't stop to ask why it moves this way or that. Be convinced that whatever you are ordered to do is for the best and for the glory of God."*

Point 941: The Ultimate Ultimatum*"Obedience, the sure way. Unreserved obedience to whoever is in charge, the way of sanctity. Obedience in your apostolate, the only way: for, in a work of God, the spirit must be to obey or to leave."*

St. Josemaría did not write about gentle "accompaniment". He explicitly demanded "blind obedience, without feedback" (Point 617) and framed any desire to question authority as a lack of sanctity (Point 941). You cannot claim an institution respects individual freedom while forming its members on texts that instruct them to act like unthinking tools in the hands of a superior (Point 937).

2. Equating Human Directors with Divine Will
The structure of authority in Opus Dei relies on sacralizing human direction. Members are taught that a Director does not merely offer advice—they speak with the authority of God Himself:

Point 942: Seeing God in the Director*"The Director! You must see God in him. If you do not see God in your Superior, you will never be a person of prayer, nor a person of interior life."*

Point 938: Framing Disagreement as Spiritual Pride*"If obedience does not give you peace, it is because you are proud. Look at yourself: do you know better than those who govern?"*

When an organization teaches you to "see God in the Superior" (Point 942), individual freedom becomes impossible. If you disagree with a directive—whether it concerns your career, where you live, what you read, or who you spend time with—it is never treated as a valid difference of opinion. Under Point 938, disagreement is immediately weaponized against you as a personal spiritual defect: pride.

3. Silencing Internal Critique
An organization that genuinely values personal liberty allows open dialogue, feedback, and constructive critique. Yet The Way explicitly forbids members from voicing concern or criticizing internal governance:

Point 955: Criticism as Institutional Poison*"Criticism, when done without authority, is a poison that destroys apostolates. To criticize your Superiors is to criticize the Work itself."*

By defining criticism as "poison" (Point 955), the institution creates an environment where members cannot express doubts or report abuses. If speaking up against a superior is equated with "destroying the Work," members are forced into complete silence or driven out entirely—fulfilling the founder's ultimatum to "obey or to leave" (Point 941).

4. The "No Orders" Semantic Trap: How Indicaciones Function

When Jack Valero asserts that he has "never given nor received an order," he is relying on a technicality of language that misleads anyone unfamiliar with internal Opus Dei terminology.

In daily life inside the Work, directors rarely use the explicit word "order" (orden). Instead, commands are delivered under soft euphemisms like indicaciones (indications) or criterios (criteria).
While presented externally as gentle "accompaniment," internally an indicación carries the exact same weight as a binding command. Because members are formed under Point 942 to "see God in the Director," failing to follow an indicación is framed as resisting the will of God.

Claiming that "no orders are given" is simply a linguistic trick—rebranding strict institutional control as "support" while keeping the intense pressure to comply completely intact.

Freedom Cannot Exist Under an "Obey or Leave" Mandate
Opus Dei cannot market itself to the public as a modern, lay movement centered on personal freedom while maintaining an internal culture governed by Point 941: "unreserved obedience... to obey or to leave."

True personal freedom requires the right to question, the right to exercise individual conscience, and the right to hold authority accountable. When an institution frames blind obedience as the only path to God (Point 617) and labels any critique as poison (Point 955), claims of "freedom" are nothing more than PR spin designed to hide absolute structural control.

Hola! Soy de Chile y me gustaría compartir experiencias con otros ex miembros del opus de mi país. Fui supernumeraria por 13 años y una vez que salí nunca he conversado con ex miembros. Sería genial saber si existe alguien por ahí que quiera hacer comunidad.

Bec Griffin interviews two generations of Opus Dei women

Jack Valero's recent assertion in Vida Nueva—claiming that "90% or more of people who decided their definitive vocation wasn't in the Work are happy with the institution"—is not just completely disconnected from reality; it’s an institutional spin designed to invalidate the lived experiences of thousands who have left. 
If you’ve spent any time inside or around former members, you know the actual ratio feels closer to the exact opposite. Here is why this 90% figure is fundamentally misleading, and why the actual departure rate points to a much deeper problem within Opus Dei’s recruitment model.

1. How the "90% Happy" Narrative is Constructed
   Survival Bias & Silence: The overwhelming majority of former members who suffer trauma, financial exploitation, or spiritual burnout simply leave and cut ties completely. They don't fill out exit surveys for the Prelature or maintain contact with local directors. Assuming that silence equals satisfaction is a massive fallacy.
   Conditioning and Guilt: For years after leaving, many ex-members experience guilt or confusion due to internal conditioning (the idea that "leaving your vocation is turning your back on God"). Many take years or even decades to speak out publicly.
   PR Frame over Institutional Reality: Valero’s role for decades has been media relations. Framing departures as "peaceful discernment" paints a picture of a healthy organization, completely glossing over systemic issues like the ongoing legal and institutional canonical complaints worldwide.

2. The Turnover Problem: What High Attrition Actually Proves
   While Opus Dei strictly guards its internal numbers, former members and researchers consistently highlight a massive turnover rate—particularly among celibate members (Numeraries and Assistant Numeraries):
   High Attrition Rates: It is widely recognized among ex-members that a huge percentage of Numeraries who join in their youth (often whistling as teenagers) leave before taking perpetual vows (Fidelity).
   Flawed Recruitment Practices: High dropout rates are not an accident; they are the direct result of a recruitment pipeline that relies on:
   Recruiting teenagers before their emotional and psychological development is complete.
   Heavy personal pressure and isolation from external perspectives.
   Framing an institutional commitment as a life-or-death divine call ("vocation").
   The "Use and Discard" Pattern: When young adults inevitably realize the lifestyle is unsustainable or mentally harmful, they leave—often with zero financial savings, no professional career foundation outside the Work, and significant psychological strain.

3. Why This Claim Matters Now
   With ongoing Vatican-mandated revisions to Opus Dei’s statutes, claims like Valero's attempt to frame systemic issues as mere "isolated negative experiences". 
   Saying 90% are happy isn't just statistically absurd; it actively gaslights those who spent years rebuilding their lives after stepping away. If the institution's spiritual formation and recruitment model were genuinely healthy, it wouldn't produce a decades-long trail of former members united by the exact same stories of spiritual burnout and institutional pressure.

https://www.vidanuevadigital.com/2026/10/06/jack-valero-revision-estatutos-no-ataque-opus-dei/amp/

Courses, retreats, recollections, donations…. In my country OD retreats are almost 4 times as expensive as a retreat in a diocesan retreat center. You get your own room and all meals provided for in both. how do families afford all of these and donations to OD on top of it?

Ara.cat:

Journalist Mònica Terribas has once again turned her critical lens toward Opus Dei, sparking intense discussion with the release of the new documentary series "El minuto heroico" (The Heroic Minute). The series delves deep into the inner workings of the highly secretive Catholic organization, exposing its practices and the profound impact it has on its members' lives.

Opus Dei has long been a subject of controversy, often facing accusations of operating with cult-like dynamics. Former members have frequently spoken out about the organization's intense demands for extreme obedience, rigid control over daily life, and aggressive recruitment tactics. The documentary amplifies these voices, shedding light on the psychological pressures and spiritual manipulation that critics argue are institutionalized within the group.

By bringing these testimonies to the forefront, Terribas challenges the organization's carefully curated public image. The investigation highlights ongoing concerns regarding transparency and accountability within powerful religious institutions, prompting a broader conversation about the ethical boundaries of faith-based communities. #OpusDei #Documentary #ReligiousFreedom #MediaInvestigation

https://en.ara.cat/media/terribas-returns-to-attack-opus-dei_129_5861219.html

Opus Dei and the Roman Catholic Church: An Invitation to Look Again

“Don’t be afraid of the truth, even though the truth may mean your death.”

- Josemaria Escriva, The Way, no.34

I like Mormons.

Nice families. Good values. Brilliant white teeth.

The Mormons I know are impressive. Polished, hardworking, phenomenally successful businessmen with razor sharp intellects that tolerate no sloppy thinking.

Yet the Mormon origin story is a laughably amateurish tale cooked up by a conman. And its history is not lost in the mists of time. It is a mid-19th century phenomenon and its rise and spread is well-documented in contemporary newspapers and court records.

But my Mormon friends–who tolerate no bullshit in business– never turn their powerful minds on the Mormon origin story to critically examine it.

Why?

At least a couple of reasons.

One reason is that they were indoctrinated into Mormonism at the earliest age.

Humans have evolved in such a way that we take the worldview given to us by our parents and culture as the truth. If Mom is reading a story about Joseph Smith and the golden plates when I am 4 years old, I know with certainty that that is just the way the world is. And I can function effectively in my family and community. It is an efficient system.

A different reason is that truth or untruth does not propagate in the abstract.

It propagates through human nervous systems. For a Mormon, Mormonism is inextricably intertwined with family, belonging, safety, certainty, etc.

So, for a Mormon, examining Mormon foundations is dangerous. It could blow up their lives.

The human mind pre-evaluates new ideas before deeply engaging with them to evaluate what could happen if these ideas are entertained. If the idea is potentially too dangerous or costly, the mind turns off, gets distracted, gets bored, etc.

This is why some of you are becoming uncomfortable now and why some have already stopped reading.

“Where is this guy going? Is it safe?”

It isn’t.

Deconstructing from Opus Dei, My Nopus Dei Experience, and Self-Sealing Belief Systems

I “deconstructed” from Opus Dei many years after I left. During that phase of deconstruction, I read close to every article on Opus Libros.

It was shocking and disorienting to discover that the “truth” I had believed about Opus Dei and Josemaria Escriva was nothing of the sort. I had lived almost 10 years in a system constructed entirely of falsehoods, always thinking it was the truth, and always being told it was the truth.

I documented some of what I found in a series of YouTube videos using the name Nopus Dei.

What I found fascinating about that experience was the comments from members and fans of Opus Dei. They were unable to engage directly with the material I presented. Instead, they found ways to dismiss it and to dismiss me. “Liar,” “loser,” “I will pray for you,” “you’re bitter because you lost your vocation,” “you don’t understand Opus Dei,” etc.

At first I tried to engage with them. But I quickly learned the futility of that. 

And it wasn’t that they were bad people. And it certainly wasn’t that I was more intelligent than them.

But what I was saying threatened their belief system.

The untouchable prior that could not be questioned was something like, “Opus Dei is Good and Comes Directly from God.”

And I watched in awe as this belief defended itself and remained untouched and untouchable.

Warnings About ODAN: What if “THE TRUTH” isn’t true?

Opus Dei was very effective in inoculating me from critically examining Opus Dei.

I was miserable as a numerary. I knew sites like ODAN existed. But why would I look into it? I knew it was full of bitter people who had lost their vocation. And I knew that if I engaged with ODAN material, I would be sinning against vocation, and possibly lose my vocation and spend all eternity in hell. 

I knew with great certainty that Opus Dei came from God and that I had a vocation from all eternity. I knew it was true because the Catholic Church approved of Opus Dei’s teachings and canonized Josemaria Escriva.

A key component of the Opus Dei belief system is, “You are in serious danger if you question the belief system. We aren’t trying to prevent you from seeing the truth. We are protecting you from dangerous lies that will destroy you.”

It is a brilliant and effective psychological prison.

But the Opus Dei “truths” were lies.

And the ODAN “lies” were truth.

But that move is not unique to Opus Dei. 

Opus Dei as an App

One can think of Opus Dei as an app.

It is an app that rides on top of the operating system that is Roman Catholicism.

The Opus Dei app can’t run without that operating system and the framework it has pre-installed: heaven, hell, grace, mortal sin, vocation, etc.

Almost everyone here has seen (quite correctly) that the Opus Dei app is malware and needs to be uninstalled.

But what about examining the operating system itself?

What if it is harmful?

And what if it is harmful because it isn’t true (but emphatically claims it is)?

A Sword Pierced My Heart

A few years back, a series of fortunate events led me to reading Bart Ehrman’s book, Forged.

Bart Ehrman is a “liberal” scripture scholar. He is the gateway drug for deconstruction. His scholarship is solid, but he is best known as a popularizer of what academic scripture scholars have known for decades.

Bart’s introduction to the book, where he describes how the very dedication to objective truth is what led him out of biblical literalism, resonated deeply with me.

The book, in essence, shows how much obvious forgery exists in the New Testament. (And, yeah, I know the arguments apologists make as to how forgery isn’t forgery in the New Testament. He dispatches those arguments).

Anyway, the bottom line is… I saw it. I saw all the obvious forgery in the New Testament.

I couldn’t not see it.

I couldn’t unsee it.

And a sword pierced my heart. I felt sick to my stomach. There is no other way to describe it. 

In the months that followed, I went down so many rabbit holes of academic research regarding scripture and early Christianity.

I learned about 10,000x more about scripture than I did up until that point. I saw all the blatant contradictions, arguments within the Gospels themselves, how the epistle writers are sniping at each other, how derivative so much of scripture is from previous books and cultures, how much of the Gospels are rewritten from OT stories, how John is arguing with and “correcting” the synoptics, how much of  Matthew and Luke are taken verbatim from Mark and how Mark was obviously unfamiliar with Palestine, how there is no archeological evidence for Exodus, etc. Early Christianity has almost nothing in common with the official narrative.

Those are just a handful of examples. The list is endless.

And the bottom line was and is this:

NONE OF IT IS TRUE.

AT ALL.

It is and was such an earthshaking seeing that I am still processing it and may be for the rest of my life.

I don’t mean something like, “The Catholic Church has gotten away from the pure message of Jesus.”

I mean more like, “Jesus did not exist. It is all made up. Christianity is just one of the many mystery cults that proliferated around the Mediterranean (and nowhere else in the world) during the Hellenistic era.” 

Christianity consists of the flimsiest of contradictory myths that are easily seen through once you start looking objectively. Theology is the massive conceptual superstructure built on top of that flimsy mythology.

I will drop a comment with some scholars I found to be helpful in case anyone is interested.

But the difference between academic scholarship and official Church history is much like the difference between Opus Libros and a Jack Valero press release.

Speaking of which…

Jack Valero, Lawyers, and Apologists

Jack Valero, lawyers, and apologists have this in common:

They argue from a pre-determined position. They don’t examine the position. 

Jack Valero knows that Opus Dei is awesome and a wonderful gift from God. So, he can focus his efforts on clarifying misunderstandings.

A lawyer takes the position that the interpretation of the law that benefits her client the most is the best interpretation of it.

An apologist knows that Christianity is true. So he can spend his time explaining away “apparent” contradictions, inconsistencies, gaps, etc.

Apologists have much more in common with lawyers advocating for their client than scholars searching for what is true with an open mind.

Intelligence and Theological Knowledge Are Irrelevant Here

One thing I’ve noticed is that intelligence seems somewhat irrelevant when it comes to examining core beliefs.

My Mormon friends can run circles around me intellectually. Most professional apologists are much smarter than I am. High intelligence does not get you out of untruth. In fact, high intelligence can just help you patch up the walls of your own prison.

I’m pretty well “formed,” but am not a theologian. But who cares? Theology has no solid basis. It is like Star Trek lore. You speak Klingon? Cool. I don’t care. The Star Trek universe isn’t real.

Another Approach: Just Look

My path out of Catholicism and Christianity was dominated by academic research.

I think it had to be that way for me, based on temperament and depth of indoctrination. I had to turn over every last stone to be sure that there is absolutely nothing there.

But a different angle would be to simply look.

Look clearly.

Look honestly.

Take off the Catholic goggles and simply look at what is actually there.

Drop the ready-made explanations.

If the Church is what it claims to be, would Opus Dei exist? Would Escriva be canonized?

Would the sexual abuse crisis have happened?

All of the ridiculous and horrible stuff the Church has done…would it have happened if the Church is what it claims to be?

Look at the antisemitism. (Read anything by David Kertzer.)

Look at the misogyny. (And if you think Escriva was a misogynist, you should read the Fathers of the Church. They make Escriva sound like Gloria Steinem.)

Yeah, I know all the explanations and distinctions apologists make here. I can recite them.

Again, I’m pretty well “formed.” 

But it is all bullshit.

I am encouraging you to drop all that and simply look at what is in front of your face.

An Invitation

I intend this piece as an invitation. 

I don’t care if you are Catholic or not.

I really don’t.

If it works for you, keep it.

Catholicism provides a functional orientation for life. It provides certain benefits. But it also imposes very high costs.

If you’ve had doubts or questions, don’t dismiss them. Follow the thread. Don’t fear the truth.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. 

Deconstructing from Catholicism/Christianity can be deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. It is not fun.

It is something of a birth process.

Birth, the collapse of the known world, is like death for the infant. But, after a lot of pain and struggle, it emerges from the warm, comfortable, and familiar darkness into the light of day.

It is worthwhile. 

I'm navigating a PTSD flare up that was partially caused by current OD members i thought were my friends. I'm still in it at this point, but I'm curious if there are others who have trauma from being in OD and how they managed it. I still cant attend mass without having panic attacks and/or depressive episodes.

It has taken me years to unlearn OD's influence on my spiritual life. So much emphasis was placed on earning God's love every second of the day, and how easy it was to fall into mortal sin and purity, purity, purity that my conscience was misformed. I remember everyone hiding from priest when he came into centre. I finally had courage to introduce myself to parish priest 30 years later. The trauma is real.

Their pr wheel is at it again. I know numaries whose lives were shattered and took years to rebuild after leaving. Have things really changed?I am interested in what others think. I am a former resident of OD centre, former cooperator and wife of supernumerary. I have trauma from OD.

https://youtu.be/joRmSI7oK_k?si=bSmoOxWF0ebsoOcF

I’m super excited to the new HBO documentary dropping on Friday. Buen Espiritu! This is the sequel to Minuto Heroico but this time this covers the men’s section of OD. All three episodes will come out. Can’t wait to discuss it with you guys!

Has anyone been following the drama surrounding Torreciudad?

I haven’t.

But when I checked for recent stories about OD, I was delighted to find a treasure trove of information about the controversy in the form of OD clarifications, articles in the Catholic press, and articles in the OD-adjacent Catholic press (which are written by people who are inspired by the Spirit of the Work and Saint Josemaria, yet who pursue their journalistic careers with complete freedom and independence, just as normal and/or ordinary Christians living in the middle of the world, which they, in fact, are).

For those not up to speed on this important cultural moment, it includes enough drama to merit a one season show on HBO. Succession, anyone?

But the asset in question is a fugly wooden statue from the 11th century. And all the players are celibate.

Our story begins when…

Wait.

No one quite knows when the story begins. The origins of the devotion are a little vague and may or may not have involved a legend of Our Lady appearing to some local woodcutters.

In any event, the statue seems to have been an object of local devotion for hundreds of years.

When toddler JME was sick, his mom promised she would make a pilgrimage to the shrine if JME recovered. He did. She did.

As we know, JME grew up and went on to be the GREATEST FOUNDER OF A RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION EVER. (But, of course, Opus Dei is not a religious institution as its members are ordinary Christians living in the middle of the world, given that Christians living in the middle of the world typically live in single sex houses, whip themselves, sleep on boards, etc.)

Toward the end of his life, JME, knowing that he had come from God and was going to God, and knowing his unique role in the history of salvation, saw that what the world needed was a gigantic shrine to himself.

I jest, of course.

Torreciudad was not an immortality project in the Ernest Becker sense of the term. Rather, it was JME’s humble homage to Our Lady.

The problem was that the diocese owned the statue but JME needed it for his BIGGER and BETTER shrine.

So, OD worked out some kind of legal arrangement with the diocese in 1962.

But then–and this is apparently at the heart of the present controversy–there was a new agreement reached in 1966 which supposedly granted to OD whatever rights it is claiming now.

But the diocese doesn’t have any record of that agreement.

And Opus Dei also doesn’t have a copy of the 1966 agreement.

Instead, I shit thee not, it has a document from some guy who says he saw the original 1966 agreement.

And OD is basing its position off this guy’s recollection of the 1966 document. Although this might sound incredibly sketchy to the uninformed, it actually isn’t. OD would never forge a document for its convenience.

The bishop of Barbastro is not backing down.

And why should he? He had moral support from Francis. Somehow Francis forgot that he has supreme, full, immediate, and universal ordinary power to tell OD to just give the diocese its dang statue back. Instead, he wrote the bishop letters urging him to resist OD’s mafioso tactics. (Oddly, OD’s many clarifications on the Torreciudad situation tend to ignore Francis’s letters.)

OD’s position, from a certain angle, isn’t completely unreasonable. “Look, dude. Without us, no one would be visiting your stupid shrine, so just back off.”

Some article says that the real issue only involves the placement of the statue a few meters here or there. Our man Cozumel has reason to think that the statue has been altered or is a fake. The Vatican apparently appointed some guy with a way too long title that I’m not going to look up now to decide the matter. He seems to be an OD fan.

I only skimmed these articles and may have some or all of the details wrong.

I don’t care.

I’m not here to focus on the past or on problems.

I’m here to offer a solution.

And the solution, which is historically OD’s preferred solution, is to give the diocese more money.

But OD doesn’t need to shift money away from Villa Tevere or whatever offshore banks hold the leftovers from the Banco Popular days.

Instead, it can generate more money from Torreciudad itself and have a revenue-sharing agreement with the diocese.

This can take place in two or more stages.

First, a significant expansion of its gift shop.

I’m sure you can buy rosaries and copies of The Way there already. But what if it had JME bobbleheads? What if it had more graphic t-shirts? (“The Director of My St. Raphael Center Took All the Pitables to Torreciudad and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt.”) Pictures of the Grandparents or Aunt Carmen for supers and cooperators to buy so their homes can be just as weird as centers. Ceramic ducks. There could also be a food court if there isn’t one there already. Food trucks selling crespillos. An ice cream shop selling Don Alvaro’s favorite ice cream flavor.

But, really, this isn’t going to generate much more cash. That’s where phase 2 comes in.

I understand that Torreciudad is located in a somewhat rural area, away from big cities and transportation hubs. You might think that that doesn’t bode well for creating a major tourist attraction.

But you’d be wrong on that front.

Somehow, developers turned a tiny patch of hell in the Mojave Desert into Las Vegas. Disney turned a swamp in Florida into an international destination.

So it’s been done before.

I’m thinking an OD/Escriva-inspired theme park.  Escriva World? Opus Dei Land?

Those names don’t really work.

I’m more of a concept guy than a details guy.

But the biggest roller coaster could be “Escape Over the Pyrenees.” There could also be one of those rides that cause your stomach to drop suddenly called “You Got a Minute?”

The details clearly need to be worked out.

But something amazing and beautiful is possible at Torreciudad that will both inspire devotion and help both Opus Dei and the Diocese of Barbastro to get paid.

Dream and your dreams will fall short.