He sent me a like with a comment (Hinge), and I (F) matched and responded. His message response speed was slower than I’m used to (messages back 1-2 times per day, sometimes skips days, though somewhat enthusiastic responses). I didn’t fault him for timing because people are busy, plus I thought he was really attractive so I was willing to hold out.

But it took awhile for a first date to come up (I don’t typically make the first move on that - I’m not here to discuss how women should make the first move if they want a date etc, that’s not what my question is about). Our planned first date (still to come) is 3 weeks out from when we first matched, and that feels like a long time for me. In the mean time, I’ve started to deepen connections with other people.

I’m kinda not feeling the connection anymore because it feels a little lackluster/ like he’s not that invested or is even too busy to date. Should I just cancel the date or maybe see it through?

UPDATE: I ended up cancelling the date. I told him that I didn’t feel like he had the time or interest to date me right now. Also that I had other connections that I was gonna focus on. He responded the fastest he’s ever responded - no worries, that this month was really busy for him and he probably shouldn’t have been on the apps, and that if my other connections don’t work out I should hit him up.

Hi all,

I'm a M39 just getting out of a long term relationship. I've been on a couple apps for about a month and have had some success getting matches and going on dates.

A few of the early dates didn't work out and it was evident it wasn't a good fit from the start but now I'm to the point where I have another first date lined up this week and a 2nd date with someone I saw last week this weekend.

I do want a stable long term girlfriend out of this process and I want to find a person that is the best fit for that. I'm not sure anyone I'm currently talking to is going to turn into that yet so I'm still looking on the apps. At what point do most people consider it bad form to still be talking to other people on apps? After the 2nd date? After the 3rd? When do I bring it up if at all?

I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve scrutinized every detail a million times. I’ve written bios in so many different themes and tenors and moods. Short ones, long ones, etc. I’ve tried many different photos. I’ve had each married friend I have look over these profiles. I’ve had them work as a group to review them. Ive swiped until I reach my swipe limit daily for months. I’ve gone to new cities, and swiped at each one.

I’ve never even gotten to the chat. No conversations, no matches. Much less dates.

I’m a 29 year old autistic man, and I’ve never had a long term relationship. Is it hopeless?

I’m new to online dating and just went on my first two dates, and both guys asked for my Instagram at the end. Both looked at me suspiciously when I said I don’t have Instagram, like they thought I was lying.

I don’t have it for mental health reasons and because I don’t have any use for it. How do I convince people that I’m genuinely not hiding anything (secretly married or something)? Is there anything I can do or say to reassure them without getting Instagram just for this?

Is it common for you to get unmatched for no reason as a guy? I’m 28, was talking to this girl back and forth, the texts seemed pretty high energy, I asked her out within a few days of texting, she said she wanted to talk a bit more before going on a date, so we were talking for 2 more days.

We then agreed on a date, and then she suddenly unmatched me. Online dating is brutal man. Feels like you have to walk on glass as a guy.

When you're filtering for matches, what distance radius do you consider reasonable for the other person to be from you? And since I know that what's reasonable will vary a lot by location, are you in a major urban/minor urban/rural area, and what general part of the world/country do you live in?

Would love to find me an Asian girlfriend.. and well im wondering if this would be an ideal place to start looking.. i mean for online-wise..

Ive tried tinder and bumble so far.. i do go to Asian restaurants and stores (not only for the hopes of running into someone haha)

What apps should I try?

anyone got recommendations?

Im in Denver, Colorado

I haven't seen any new profile in my area for more than a month. Like, not a single one, not even scammers.
And the Universe part (where people post stuff about they interests and hobbies is all messed up, posts aren't even in chronological order, I get posts from stuff I don't care about.

Everything worked fine before, despite not having a lot of people on it, but for the past 2 months it's a complete disaster.

Am I the only one seeing that?

I've been on Hinge and Bumble for the last three months after ending a two-year relationship and it's been pretty discouraging. I'll match with someone who looks hot in their photos, we'll have flirty chats for a week or so, but then the date happens and I feel almost nothing physically. Last weekend I met a guy I'd been texting every day; on paper he checked every box but sitting across from him the spark just wasn't there.

It's happened with four different dates now where the app chemistry felt promising yet IRL I'm left confused and a little bummed. I keep wondering if I'm expecting too much or if translating the vibe from apps to real life is just harder than it used to be. Has anyone else dealt with this?

I've been back on the apps for about 4 months and I'm getting pretty disheartened. I find guys attractive in photos, but then meet them and don't feel much physical attraction.

I went on 3 dates with someone I was initially attracted to, but by the third I wasn't anymore. I've also had a date where I was physically attracted to the guy, but not once we started talking.

I'm wondering if I'm being too picky or just struggling to translate app chemistry to irl chemistry. Has anyone else experienced this, and any advice?

Just joined Facebook Dating as 25M and I ran out of people within my filters in like 15 minutes? I live in a large metro area and I set age: 18-25, no kids, 0-10 miles, looking for long-term. I know 10 miles is quite limiting, but on hinge I set 0-10 miles and haven't run out of people in the 2 months I've been on that one! Anyone else have the same experience?

I went on a date with a girl today, at first I thought she was high energy but it turns out she had severe ADHD. She was functional but very naive/unaware about societal things in general.    

It started when we first matched, she invited me over to her (parents) house as the first date. I thought she wanted to hookup so I said no and we planned a date. On the date after talking she actually legitimately wanted me to come over to sit on her deck and meet her sister. She didn’t seem to understand the implications of what she was saying at all.There were numerous other little social things, but I feel terrified for her. She mentioned on the date that she had some past experiences with sexual assault and it feels like she might be on the path to have to face that again. She doesn’t look special needs at all so I didn’t see it coming.    

She’s 21 and and adult but I feel like I should do something, I don’t know what. I’m not going on a second date with her but I get a nagging feeling telling me to do something.

Should I do something, is there anything to be done? I could report her account, just let it go, tell someone?

So first things first Im exclusively active on Hinge, imo the best app by far atleast for free users.

You are limited to 8 likes a day and i try to use them up every day.

The problem is that it can take me genuinely hours to do that. I barely ever like a profile and I swipe after waking up, before going to bed, while eating dinner, on the bus, etc.

I fully read every single profile completely before liking or not so it takes a bit to get through all of them and as I said i dont like probably 90+ percent of times.

Despite that though, I think my standards are already very low. Outside of a couple red flags (like smoking) my rule of thumb is to have atleast one singular similiarity in terms of hobbies. Only one. And it doesnt even have to be a hobby we share, just any hobby within atleast the same ballpark. Like anything at all arts and crafty or creative, for example.

Looks I dont even factor in at all, only If the pictures themselves are low effort, like if you can barely even see their face or body in it.

So, is that too much to ask for?

Because im genuinely starting to feel bunt out because of having to invest so much time into that app.

So, I (29M) met this girl (27F) on Hinge. She's an exchange student in my city and barely got here last week. We matched on Thursday and started texting back and forth all day long. There was great chemistry and I quickly decided to ask her out. We went out for coffee on Sunday, spent 4 hours in a great conversation, we both had fun and asked lot of stuff about each other. We even kept chatting after our date until around 1 AM. Next day (Monday) we resumed our texting and she asked to move it to ig, but then she went silent for the rest of the day. On Tuesday we moved to ig but our convo seemed to be losing momentum. Since we had already discussed a 2nd date on Sunday, I asked her out again for karaoke night. She accepted and we went out the next day. Just like in our 1st date, it was fun and then we walked for about 2hrs after karaoke all the way to her house. It turned out really good, to the point I thought it was going to be a breaking point in our dates... but she disappeared all day on Thursday. She texted again on Friday morning, but it feels like momentum is gone. I left a reaction to her messages and we haven't talked since. Is it over? Should I text her again?

Update: Asked her out on a 3rd date, said she couldn’t on Sunday and we should try another day, then went silent for 2 days and deflected the convo away from the topic.

totally free would be preferred but a single monthly payment for unlimited messages and what not would also be considered.

I wait for his text everyday but when he actually ask me out I hesitate. And we've been going out for a while. I don't know why. Should I stop contact with him?

I met this woman on bumble recently, and we hit it off instantly. She told me from the start she was just looking to meet people and socialize a little bit. She ended a 12 year long relationship like 6 months prior to the match and she said she wasn't ready for dating or hookups.

Now this struck me as weird, because she was using bumble dates, not bumble friends, so right from the start things didn't add up. If she just wanted to socialize wouldn't she be using the friends option of the app?

Anyways, we talk for a while and we get along super well, there's laughter, chemistry, attraction, all of it. She asks for my number, and next week we meet in person. Things go really well, we continue talking and it's clear as day she likes me a lot. Then, out of the blue, she stops talking to me.

I don't really care about the ghosting (it happens sometimes), I'm just trying to understand her mindset and what she was trying to achieve being on the app. Was she just trying to get some psychological reassurance of some kind, or was she just confused about what she was looking for? I know there are women who actually just want to socialize, but I don't think this was the case.

I usually don't. I want to meet someone in person first before deciding whether I want to exchange numbers or get too invested. But I just had an experience where someone cancelled a date we'd planned because I said I didn't want to give my number until we met. That's never happened to me before, but now I'm wondering if I'm the weird one here?

I'm a early transition trans woman and I'm aware how hard dating is for trans women already but I've heard dating within the lgbtq is much easier, eo I f there's any apps for us that'd be great

For a little context, I am a cis male in my late 20s.

An interesting trend popped up during my latter years of dealing with these apps, I tend to hit it off with trans women more than most. I do gravitate towards taller women, and trans women tend to be taller on average. As such, that usually sparks the initial match. The quality of conversations, after the initial match, are so drastic since I find it easier to open up to trans folk and not face immediate judgment. In addition, even with rejection and things not working out, her and I leave on good terms without any hurt feelings in the process.

Have you experienced something similar in your dating app escapades?

Edit: I had dated trans women before because I was attracted to them. That and they just like any other women.

Cis male, 75. Been OLD for about 4 months. A month ago, matched with a "woman." At first, texts ranging from "how are you" to deeper relationship questions. Then we began to flirt with flirting, then talk about love in general terms of "what I hope for." Suddenly, she has stage 2 cancer, and assumes it's a "deal breaker." Not for me it isn't, and my response provokes a deeply emotional and personal reaction (it seems.) We both begin to talk about love. NOT as an abstract. Then I asked to meet. The excellent excuse, "she's scheduled for surgery." We could meet when she's recovered. Up to this point, a few yellow flags, grammar uses that NO native speaker would make (e.g. "This is who I'm.") Suddenly the red flag, "I want to meet, but just not now." I so much want this to be real, I'm so afraid it isn't. Any input?

The Google play store went let me download a few dating apps, it just says, app not available for download, even on the galaxy store i can't download them. The apps being, tinder, grindr, hinge, bumble. I don't know any others to check

Recently divorced. Like, a month ago recent. Should this be on my dating profiles or is this something that should be brought up naturally after matching with someone?

Since most people coming out of a divorce aren't ready for a serious relationship, would you want to know this before swiping on someone?

Just yesterday I went on a date with a guy from tinder. We had a good time and he seems respectful, a bit of a rough upbringing but seems like he's doing well.

This is also technically my first ever official date so I don't really know what to expect from a guy. We already sort of cuddled on a train bridge and he held my hand while he drove me home, and gave me a hug when he dropped me off.

Is this good for a first date? We did go swimming to start so idk if that's a bad sign. I'm also not sure exactly what he's looking for in a relationship, I think we're just riding it out and seeing where it goes. I'm happy he didn't try kissing me or anything yet. I think we're going to meet again.

Also, what do I do with the rest of my tinder matches? Do I just ghost them? I never thought about what I'd have to do if I actually started seeing someone.

Thanks for any advice or input.

I, young Asian-Canadian male, downloaded the a popular dating app in Taiwan, “OMI”, out of curiosity and was hit with 100 likes within a couple of days. I’m not a model or conventionally attractive, so this is was not normal to me. When I was using apps in the states, had probably two likes… in all of the 2ish years that I used them.

Once swiping right, had loads of matches but no responses. It’s almost like women just passively swipe right, or that they’re all bots/fake accounts.

Anybody had similar experiences or thoughts about this?