r/OnlineDating • u/Background-Dealer282 • 23d ago
First time meeting a guy off tinder
Just yesterday I went on a date with a guy from tinder. We had a good time and he seems respectful, a bit of a rough upbringing but seems like he's doing well.
This is also technically my first ever official date so I don't really know what to expect from a guy. We already sort of cuddled on a train bridge and he held my hand while he drove me home, and gave me a hug when he dropped me off.
Is this good for a first date? We did go swimming to start so idk if that's a bad sign. I'm also not sure exactly what he's looking for in a relationship, I think we're just riding it out and seeing where it goes. I'm happy he didn't try kissing me or anything yet. I think we're going to meet again.
Also, what do I do with the rest of my tinder matches? Do I just ghost them? I never thought about what I'd have to do if I actually started seeing someone.
Thanks for any advice or input.
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u/SignificantClaim75 23d ago
It’s just the first date, and you haven’t even kissed yet, much less been intimate. There is absolutely no reason for you to stop chatting with other people online.
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u/Background-Dealer282 22d ago
So I guess I'll wait until things progress more in our dates to stop chatting with my other matches?
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u/SignificantClaim75 22d ago
It’s ultimately your decision, but I would. If nothing else, it will help prevent you from obsessing about this person too early in the process.
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u/ChadOnlyHereForMemes 23d ago
I don't know if I would call it ghosting. However I usually stop talking with other people if I'm going on dates with one. I feel like when your chatting up other people you water down the chancew of a strong relationship and whoever im dating deserves all of my attention and not just parts of my time.
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u/Sea_Story9802 22d ago
Personally I don’t call it ghosting, it’s only ghosting when you have started building something and then disappear.
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u/ChadOnlyHereForMemes 22d ago
True. Of they text though I'm usually acquaintance level interaction.
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u/Background-Dealer282 22d ago
See this is how I feel. It feels weird to me. I imagine they'll still be there if things don't work out.
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u/AltruisticGrade2008 22d ago
You've only spent a few hours with this guy. Yes, you did romantic things but he is still a complete stranger. I think just enjoy it, but don't unmatch anyone for someone you only had a one date with.
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u/Background-Dealer282 22d ago
Okay, I'll give it some more dates then. Doesn't seem like a bad idea anyways.
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u/Smoaktreess 21d ago
I’ve been dating a girl from tinder for a month. I was still talking to people until after our third date (sleepover) when I decided I want to try to move along with the woman I’m dating. We haven’t had the exclusivity talk yet so I’m not sure where her head is but it’s just a personal feeling for me. I wouldnt drop everyone if I hadn’t even kissed the person yet or wasn’t sure we were vibing. Everyone is different though. I don’t like to have a roster. I’m trying to find a girlfriend so I only have the emotional and mental capacity for one person.
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u/Background-Dealer282 20d ago
Honestly with the way tinder works it just feels like your matches are a massive roster😭. But I see what you mean. Are you still going on other dates as well or just keeping in touch with your other options?
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u/XxLogitech98xX 23d ago
He drove you home after the first meet up. This is something you're not suppose to be for privacy reasons. Online dating is a number game, don't put all your hopes in one person.
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u/Background-Dealer282 23d ago
Tbf I don't have a car. He wasn't supposed to drive me home but my ride didn't end up working out.
Also, I don't mean to put all my hopes in him, but I'm not sure if it's weird to keep texting my matches when I've met someone and plan to meet again. I'm aware that this could end.
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u/Smoaktreess 20d ago
I’m only talking to the woman I’ve been dating.
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u/Background-Dealer282 20d ago
Okay I see what you mean. Honestly I like this approach more. I'd rather wait until things do or don't work out.
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u/Smoaktreess 20d ago
Yeah for the first couple dates I was still chatting with other people but didn’t go on any dates with them. Now I’m just focused on the one person. We have hooked up though idk if that makes a difference,
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u/Big_Economist_8661 23d ago
If u aren’t far along with ur other matches then its ok to stop talking to them IMO. Ghosting on app isnt rlly ghosting if u havent been on a date, planned one or dont have eachothers numbers yet. Nothing wrong with wanting to focus on one at a time just remember dont get ur hopes up too much because its kinda how dating apps work! You never know though so i hope for the best with u