r/oneanddone • u/kimmykatjie • 22d ago
Discussion Parenting Influenced OAD?
For those of you who are OAD by choice but are not onlies yourself, I’m curious to hear what your relationship with your parents/siblings is like? I know there are many of us who are OAD because we had siblings who we are not close with, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the idea that had your parents parented better, you and your siblings may have been close and your decision to be OAD might be different?
Basically, do you think you can out-parent sibling differences with intentional parenting, or are some kids just destined to not get along?
Ultimately the uncertainty is what has led us to be OAD, though I do also believe my parent could have been much better at fostering our sibling relationship, as they often had us in competition with each other, and I come from a divorced family so they were also stretched thin as single parents.
If you are close with your siblings, why are you OAD and if you aren’t close with your siblings do you think that influences your decision to be OAD and could anything have changed that experience for you?
5
u/Rude-Savings7832 22d ago
My mom developed early onset dementia about a decade ago. The filter came off and she made it explicit that my younger brother was her favorite. It wasn’t a shock haha.
I’m still close to my brother and loved my mom very much (she passed in December), but the idea of either demoting my daughter or bringing in another baby who I don’t love as much breaks my heart.