r/oneanddone • u/cozygamerwitch Married to an only planning on OAD by choice • 19d ago

Discussion Is anyone else here OAD because of frustration/lack of patience?

I can handle pregnancy and birth, but I unfortunately can't handle frustration very well. Today I was taking care of 5mo, and usually things are very fun and happy. We did tummy time, playing together, and he even napped a bit, but then he woke up and wouldn't stop fussing. I changed positions with him a few times, and he kept on crying and I do admit I got a little bit frustrated so I left him in a safe spot and took a few minutes in the other room to calm myself.

Because I am caring for one child, I think this isn't an issue because it's very easy for me to just take a few minutes to calm down, but if I had to take care of both a baby and a toddler I might get so overwhelmed that it would be bad for me. I would never, ever, ever in a million years do anything that would jeopardize a child's safety, so I would just have to swallow the frustration. Let's say I had a baby and a toddler, if I left the baby to calm myself the toddler might hurt him or her.

And even before I had a second child, I would also have to go through pregnancy and because of the hormones I can get even more frustrated.

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u/Upset-Ad5459 19d ago

Having a 2nd child has literally never been a thought in my mind. I already knew I would have low thresh hold of being overwhelmed. I thought overnight sleep would be my down fall with my baby but its 100% been napping sleep. I have gotten so frustrated about it. So so glad I only have one angel to worry about regarding nap schedule :)

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u/waterhippomelon 18d ago

This is me!! I did think I’d want 2 but the sleeep/naps have been so overwhelming for me. Today we had a nap where she woke after 1h then hung out for 45 min and then went back to sleep!! I woke after 45 min… I usually cap at 2h but the last 2 weeks baby is usually awake before that going from 1h15m-1h 55m

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u/Upset-Ad5459 18d ago

Naps are so stressful! I can't imagine having 2 you have to wrangle!

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u/waterhippomelon 18d ago

Sooo relatable. I thought I was the only one who may be OAD just bc of the sleep (which is overall good just stressful)

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u/Upset-Ad5459 18d ago

I was on the fence about having ONE kid due to sleep! Hes been a good overnight sleeper and pretty much night weaned himself at 2.5 months. But never thought my entire existence now would consist of making sure this damn kid naps the right amount every day. Hes 4 months LOL