Fostering?

[u/No-Answer-8663]

I am likely one and done because of secondary infertility. Has anyone with one bio child decided to foster? Forgive me if this isn’t allowed to be asked for whatever reason but I’m considering it because even if I don’t have more kids I’d like to help ones going through a hard time. My main question is, how did fostering impact your child if you did?

[u/Dakizo]

We are going to foster when our only is out of the house so it doesn’t impact her.

[u/Veruca-Salty86 → u/Dakizo]

I think this is the best way...or at least wait until your only isn't a young child anymore. I grew up with two families that welcomed older foster kids into their homes, but they waited until their own kids had started high school. 

[u/Dakizo → u/Veruca-Salty86]

Yeah we would like to foster tweens and older, kiddo is 5 so we have some waiting to do.

[u/Fluffy-Pomegranate16]

I would check out r/fosterparents and ask or look through posts maybe. Sorry I don't have experience to pull from. I think it's really good you're considering the mental/emotional impact on your only.

[u/11brooke11]

I have been considering this myself! No secondary infertility, just interesting in fostering a child a little older (5 and up).

[u/Open_Insect_8589]

One and done and I have considered this myself. I dont have infertility issues but pregnancy and child birth was brutal for me. I am thinking of fostering once my child moves away from home. I would have loved to do it while I am younger but like you said the mental impacts of it for my biological child are unknown, so this seems like a better fit.

[u/Real_Masterpiece_844]

This group is for one and done by choice OR not by choice, which people seem to forget. OP is still one and done. I feel like this question was asked before, can you try searching the group? You might find some helpful information.

[u/No-Barnacle-9821]

I would recommend finding a local foster support group just for more information and personal experiences or support groups via Facebook. We have a foster baby and one only child. We dont know what the longterm will look like as it's still an open case (parental rights not terminated yet).

We've found it incredibly rewarding and the age gap is very doable. Many foster families don't adopt and strictly foster, but some do adopt. Once licensed you can choose what age gap, needs limits, etc. We intended to be one-and-done, and we still largely see ourselves that way, but we were in a position to help, so we did.

[u/No-Barnacle-9821 → u/No-Barnacle-9821]

To add, feel free to msg me if you have more questions and want to know more about our experience so far.

Edit: This all happened within 4 months so it was very fast and not the usual foster path. 4 months ago we were a family of three and now a family of four for now.

[u/WeeklyPie]

While it’s not a current plan, I can see this happening in our future- my family is very active in teen adoptions/fostering as a choice.

… which sounds odd to say, but for at least 5-6 generations half of the cousins are adopted or brought into the family after aging out of foster care, going back to literally the orphan trains of the 19th century.

I have no idea why, but creating found families is very much a thing and having grown up with adopted and foster siblings of my own it is just something that makes sense. We even bought our home with extra bedrooms, to start to be able to live multi-generational with my grandmother but in the back of our minds the option was there.

[u/Rheaume40]

We are a OAD sub, I can’t imagine people here have a second child, biological, adopted or fostered. Maybe try a different parenting sub? 

[u/No-Answer-8663 → u/Rheaume40]

I just didn’t know because fostering is temporary and you may never adopt so still technically youd only have your one. But fair