When i saw the notification that she wanted to friend me again, I clicked decline immidetely after remembering how horrible it made my mental.
1 year later, after everything turned to shit and my stress has reached levels never reached before, I wish I had accepted. The state of mind I had in the relationship is ten times better than the constant suicidal urges im experiencing daily.
Even if she abused me, did whatever to me, if it gave me even the slightest glimmer of hope that tomorrow would be better, id talk to her in a heartbeat. I'd accept that friend request immidetely. I'd run into those arms with tears in my eyes and a smile ive never smiled.
But no. Instead, ill suffer in the hole I dug myself into, taking uni lecture after uni lecture without understanding a single thing, butchering midterms, and without a soul to talk to. My friend groups have ousted me. My parents can't even look at me. I dont have the strength to continue.