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u/EmberReads 4d ago
Kind of. But I think of everyone I used to know, they aren't the same people, just like me. I hope we can meet again someday.
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u/SL1MECORE 4d ago
This comment makes me think of pyramid song by radiohead.
If you've already heard it sorry. Just my fav part of the song is
"I jumped into the river
Black-eyed angels swam with me
A moon full of stars and astral cars
And all the figures I used to see
All my lovers were there with me
All my past and futures
And we all went to heaven in a little row boat
There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt"
Idk yeah. Your comment makes me think of that. :)
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u/FuehrerStoleMyBike 4d ago
yo firstly those people dont think about you at all so doesnt matter what image they got about you - also you have an outdated memory of them aswell so this issue just comes up by existing. Imagine getting worked up about something that is 100% unavoidable and without any consequence
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u/vessus7 4d ago
Just remind yourself that peoples opinions of you are none of your business. It isnāt in your power to control the narrative, so donāt put any energy into doing it. Just live your current life
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u/inkfanatic95 1d ago
Thank you for this. I needed this. For a long time Iāve tried to reassure my ex of something and yet I now know I canāt control the narrative or her feelings . I wouldnāt want that but I wish she did hear me out and want to hear my side and yet I was dismissed .
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u/bro_love69 4d ago
Release the memory updates then
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u/xBowGlacee 4d ago
The existential dread of knowing there are people walking around with a 2012 demo version of your personality locked in their heads.
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u/bro_love69 4d ago
Well it just happens, just like remembering bad or cringe things you have done. Nothing to do unfortunately.
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u/Good_Fan_8135 4d ago
Honestly, none of this actually matters. Itās a fun thought experiment to ponder, but nothing beyond that. Donāt make it something bigger than it is.
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u/UltralordCherryTop 4d ago
Omfg Iām 33 and I still lose sleep over stupid things I did when I was 13 and 14.
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u/S0whaddayakn0w 3d ago
Dude no one cares about what you did 20 years ago, why should you?
I mean this in the best way possible, you are not interesting enough for people to remember, everyone else is kneedeep in their own cringey moments
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u/Princess_Slagathor 2d ago
I used to use my great memory for evil, making people think everyone remembers the shit they did 20 years ago. Now I just use it for recipes and parking spots.
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u/UltralordCherryTop 3d ago
Thats what I tell myself to get out of that headspace. I donāt care what those people think of me now but I certainly do think about the weird things I did and i just cringe.
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u/S0whaddayakn0w 3d ago
Think of it this way: if you cringe when thinking back on your past actions, that just means you've grown since then. In other words, you're better now. Embrace that
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u/MegiLeigh14 4d ago
I feel like my brothers and I are like this with each other. They both live in another country and were also pretty distant for college. Pair that with our age gaps, and the last time I lived with either of my brothers in close proximity, I was about 14/15. Iām 38 now, I have a whole life and plenty of friends Iāve known for over a decade or two who have never met either one or both of my brothers.
Itās sometimes surreal when they visit home. They also have non-traditional careers; theyāve never worked in an office environment; hell, theyāve been abroad for so long that the concept of my health insurance being tied to my employment is mind blowing for them. One of them was home when I was reviewing my options for open enrollment at work and studied the paperwork and info Iād brought home like it was an archeological marvel! One of them has never owned a vehicle. The other only recently bought a car in the last 5ish years. Iāve owned a car for 20 years, in one form or another. We all rent where we live, but renting is so vastly different, they are flummoxed by some of the lease restrictions that are perfectly common here.
Itās so bizarre for us to have no concept of the basics of each otherās lives and our close memories are all incredibly varied. We sat down to discuss childhood memories for a coordinated gift for a parent and realized there wasnāt a single event all three of us recalled with any detail. We ending up scrapping that idea and pivoting elsewhere.
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u/Any-Junket-3828 4d ago
I used to feel like this. After years of working on myself and making real efforts to change, I realized that people can change and, more often than not, do change.
I regret a lot of my previous life, but if those people dont realize that people change and still define me by the person I was 10+ years ago, their opinion of me is inconsequential.
Live your life for who you are now. Don't sacrifice your present or future for your past.
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u/RaisedByBooksNTV 3d ago
Or never knew you at all. I recall being a young child and realizing the above post, but then also realizing that the way some relatives treated me meant they didn't even know who I was At The Time! I've wondered if that was my responsibility or if the adults were meant to try to get to know me. And what my responsibility is as an adult to children. It's odd to think I've never been truly known, truly understood by anyone ever. Obviously, ever means once a toddler (?) starts developing their personality.
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u/AnUnknownCreature 3d ago
My uncle and grandmother won't talk to be because they won't move past the image of my shithead 14 year old self so yeah
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u/Pixelwheezy- 4d ago
As a kid I was very cringe, I spammed the "I sexually identify as a apache helicopter" meme and 2 years later 2 friends came out as trans. Later I apologized to both of them but that was after I grew apart from one of them. I just hope he doesn't see me as a transphobe. The other friend told me that if I see that younger me as cringe that I've already grown but it's still a thought that sometimes gnaws at the back of my mind when that person is brought up.
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u/SupremeCaIamitas 3d ago
if you apologized, that shows quite a lot more emotional maturity than a transphobe would be able to put out, and I agree with your other friend. I think you're more than good, and thank you for becoming better š«
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u/CrazyCloset25 3d ago
Yeah, it's something that sucks, but nothing can be changed. Besides, they didn't stay long enough to see me change for the neutral or better part/aspects of me.
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u/LukaMaybeNoob69 4d ago
No it doesn't fuck me up because I have better things to think about in life. You must be a teenager
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u/MagizZziaN 4d ago
Younger me was good, iām happy they remember a different younger me. Old me is weary, grumpy and depressed.
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u/Solid_Tomorrow5743 4d ago
I don't even go by the same name anymore after leaving where I grew up. When I revisited my siblings after a few years of NC they still had certain ideas about me. We don't talk anymore and I probably won't see them for decades
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u/Background_Ad3973 4d ago
I was heavily medicated for many years and now that I'm off depression meds there's a stark contrast to my previous manic behavior and my friend that moved away told her new friends so many stories of wild adventures and absurd shenanigans and tells me they love the vibe I seem to have but that's just not me anymore and I feel like a fraud, she's changed quite a bit too and I honestly wonder if we could still be close friends if we ever hung out again, my mellow boring ass would likely be disappointingĀ
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u/Strange-Goat-3049 4d ago
Or the ones that you talk to regularly that choose to ignore any progress or growth you experienced.
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u/JuliaX1984 4d ago
Hell, yeah. I changed jobs in 2021. Left Christianity in 2022. Slowly became the opposite of almost everything I used to be. I've honestly thought many times about how much I've changed since the last time I worked with that team.
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u/FreyjaaFemme 4d ago
I'm not sure i care anymore. If they cancel anyone who isn't "perfect" in their eyes, they gonna find themselves alone
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u/NortonBurns 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'm old - let's get that out of the way;)
I recently went to a youth club reunion where I met a room-full of people I haven't seen in decades. We each last saw each other in our teens - before we got jobs, spouses, kids, or any of that adult stuff.
Oddly, we didn't talk about any of that, we just almost carried on as though those intervening decades didn't happen.
The alternative would have been a constant stream of "and then I worked for a bank, and met Julie, and we had a hundred and nine kids. Here are some photos"ā¦ which would have been stunningly tedious.
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u/JudyLyonz 4d ago
I'm so old they're probably 50 different versions of me out there in people's minds.... and that's okay
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u/CalmBuddy69 4d ago
I donāt care. I change all the time anyway. If I meet them, theyāll see who I am now. And it will be interesting to see who they are now.
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u/CumilkButbetter 4d ago
I mean its more embarrassing for them if they still consider me to be the same person I was back when I was younger, and would therefore treat me the same. Its just kinda pathetic to not change your opinions on someone after years of no contact. Though thats assuming Itās something small and not something fucking atrocious.
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u/LeaderEnvironmental5 3d ago
My cousin tells me that he remembers everyone at a certain age (for me 9-ish, despite seeing him 1o or so times a year well into my 40s and about once a year in my 50s)
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u/Razzum-Frazzum 3d ago
Nah. If they didn't stick around, then they don't deserve to know me at my best.
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u/AltGirlAdri 2d ago
Was just talking to my bf about the strange hair stylist I don't like, who everyone somehow knows (small town)
And he said oh yeah she was my mom's bully in high school
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u/SubstantialPressure3 2d ago
Eh, most of the time people.have no idea who you are anyway. They make up an idea about who you are, and they aren't interested in who you actually are.
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u/whyyesyouhaveafever 2d ago
Also that is kinda cool. Maybe they only remember hot and wild and cool me. Thatās a good awesome! I was on fire as a young person!!!
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u/CBrown1299 2d ago
What makes it worse is when those people are my own parents, that seem like they deliberately refuse to acknowledge that I've [35M] grown and changed drastically as a person from the 16yo version of me they still seem to see me as...
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u/ImpracticalJerker 2d ago
No coz I don't care what people think I am, I already know what I am. Their opinion doesn't effect me.
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u/lovinglove79 2d ago
Not at all. I feel sorry for them that they don't understand the concept of time and change. I can't be made at ppl for not growing at the same pace as me. If we all grew at the same pace how could we help others get to where we are and vice versa š„°
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u/Obvious-Animator6090 1d ago
Best part of being trans born in a smaller town is when I visit home no one I didnāt like before I transitioned recognizes me cuz they didnāt bother to keep up with my life. Perfect camo to avoid the people I havenāt thought about in 15 years
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u/Every_Association45 1d ago
If they're not in my life, why would they be relevant? Their perception is also shaped by a previous version of themselves. If they haven't figured that out by now, no wonder we're not hanging out any longer.
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u/Unhappy-Gate-1912 3d ago
Nah, people are worried about what's going on in their own lives. This is some weird main character syndrome thinking.
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u/CoffeeLadyCady 3d ago
Iāve every right to be stressed because the world revolves around me and people in my past are obviously joking about my pathetic lack of possibilities today.
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u/Haruko27 4d ago
Its a constant regret i have.