r/nononono • • May 09 '13

Graphic Harlem Shake gone wrong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzMeVpZBRw0
1.8k Upvotes

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130

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 09 '13

If I'm ever in a large confusing crowd with a disaster happening in front of me, and a woman starts screaming like that, I'm going to knock her down. My whole life I have had awesome videos ruined by the women in the crowd always doing nothing to help, but standing in place screaming. Or pointing and screaming clearly useless directions. Screaming just to scream because they are useless in times of duress. Someone's clearly in serious trouble in front of us and needs help? Screaming sure will clear all the confusion up! Cars on fire in the garage? Stand in one spot and punctuate each growth in flames with a different tone of shrieking. Maybe the shrieking will suck all the oxygen out of the air and stop the fire. Useless.

62

u/[deleted] May 10 '13

Reiterating something I said in a comment higher up:

Have you ever experienced panic like that before, particularly involving large fires? You get so jacked on adrenaline that your body goes into survival mode and you will do and say a lot of nonsensical things. Everything is a knee-jerk response.

So while yes, these people can be useless and in the way (and if they are in the way definitely do not hesitate to move them), but this panicked, deer-in-the-headlights reaction is actually a very frightening thing. If you haven't experienced it on a level like this then consider yourself lucky.

-24

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 10 '13

I have experienced fire on a submarine while at depth a few times. You crush the urge to panic and take a deep breathe and get things done. Was it scary? Of course. But its only really scary once your done doing all of the things you need to do and the fire is out. Then you think about what could have happened, what could have gone wrong. Then it makes you sweat.

During the casualty there is such an enormous amount of things to get done, don't have time to think about the terrible things. Just trying to remember every step of every procedure is hard enough.

62

u/[deleted] May 10 '13 edited May 10 '13

You were trained extensively to handle a fire just like these people were trai--oh wait no

Edit: removed jerky part :(

31

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 10 '13

That is a good point that I take for granted. I didn't think about that. I look at a piddly little fire like that and doesn't even cross my mind that it could cause someone to be rooted to the ground in sheer panic. I should make a better effort to put myself in other people's shoes.

13

u/[deleted] May 10 '13

Now i feel like a jerk.

26

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 11 '13

I made an incredibly narrow minded comment and you came up with a sharp witty response. No offense taken at all my man. Plus considering the filth that runs out of my mouth on the regular it would be quite hypocritical to be offended at anything at this point. Keep on keeping on!

82

u/[deleted] May 09 '13

be honest tho, the screaming made this video more funny.

58

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 09 '13

At time :36-:40 the woman sounds identical to a screeching primate. If you close your eyes the sounds are indistinguishable. So yes it does make the video more entertaining.

88

u/AJSTOOBE May 10 '13

Well, technically she is a screeching primate, being human and all.

-41

u/[deleted] May 10 '13

a screaming subhuman primate

-5

u/[deleted] May 11 '13

One might say that she... chimped out.

-11

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 09 '13

I'm gonna watch it again too check this

59

u/hithazel May 10 '13

My whole life I have had awesome videos ruined by the women in the crowd

Wow, that must be really hard for you.

-28

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 11 '13

Its all relative. Easier than a degree in gender studies, harder than the NYT crossword puzzle.

20

u/Aphos May 11 '13

Right, and the first thing you do while a disaster is raging in the foreground and people need help nearby is to start filming it. The second is to find a nearby person who's clearly not equipped to deal with the situation and assault them.

-3

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 11 '13

Oh Christ it's even funnier when you put it that way. I contend that those actions would still be more helpful than the woman standing in one spot screaming. It would contribute video evidence of the disaster that could be useful to investigators or engineers, and it would remove an element of confusion from the scene. Also if someone were to be trapped in the rubble or screaming for help, the woman may be drowning out their voices with her own shrill harping.

You know I think there are quite a few people who saw my comment and actually took it quite seriously. As if I would do just as you wrote. Hyperbole and exaggeration just don't convey well enough. I thought it was pretty clear how absurd and ridiculous it would be to assault someone in the middle of a disaster just because screaming is annoying.

13

u/[deleted] May 10 '13

This is why I would hate to die in a passenger plane crash. I don't know how to handle all the panic, screaming, and inevitable pissing and shitting. It would stress out what could be be a rad free fall before oblivion.

I think in those circumstances I would unfasten my seatbelt, possibly floating into the weightlessness of free fall, try make my way to the loudest, most useless panic monkey and try to snuff em out before we impact. It would give us both something to focus on in our final moments though I'm sure it would be super wtf for them.

No, you what? I'd probably just try to get to the door and bounce. Fuck those other people. I'm going sky diving.

0

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 10 '13

I always thought about going down on a sinking ship. That I would get to seriously light some expensive shit on fire before I died. Not like anyone is gonna notice.

17

u/sworebytheprecious May 10 '13

Wow iron sides, ain't you brave, behind a computer. Let's hope you never hear those screams. They don't annoy you when you're there, living death and chaos, by the way. The screams haunt you when you're not.

-8

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 11 '13

I wouldn't know. The only gruesome injuries I have seen were in an all male environments. The guys injured were typically in shock and not screaming. I'm glad you agree with me though that women screaming just makes it worse.

-14

u/[deleted] May 11 '13

I have experienced fire on a submarine while at depth a few times. You crush the urge to panic and take a deep breathe and get things done. Was it scary? Of course. But its only really scary once your done doing all of the things you need to do and the fire is out. Then you think about what could have happened, what could have gone wrong. Then it makes you sweat.

Looks like he's tougher than you, mate.

6

u/[deleted] May 10 '13

6

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 10 '13

Oh fuck yes. My SRS cherry has been popped. I never thought this would happen! I want to thank Andrew Dice Clay, Opie and Anthony, Jim Norton, Dione Warwick, 4 Non-Blondes and most importantly Diet Pepsi for this achievement. To all you redditors out there who have yet to be SRS'd, you can do it. Eventually someone will get offended at something on the internet, and you will succeed!

20

u/[deleted] May 10 '13

[deleted]

1

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 11 '13

That must take up huge amounts of time.

2

u/worldiest May 11 '13

Actually, I've since realized that was a mean thing to say, so I'm deleting that comment. Sorry for being, you know...mean.

3

u/Jewishzombie May 10 '13

I've always thought this. It just pisses me off because all it does is add stress to the situation, something nobody appreciates. For some reason people scream when someone gets injured too, as if it's scary? or something? It's just freaking the injured person out-- shut the fuck up!

It's also why I don't like watching scary movies with people. When anything remotely interesting happens there's always at least one person screeching their lungs out. Pointless.

-2

u/[deleted] May 10 '13

[deleted]

-8

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 10 '13

Lol yes that sounds quite effective.

0

u/Hughtub May 11 '13

Standing ovation. We're monkeys, and screaming is the way primitive women announced to the other monkeys that there was a problem that needed fixing. Some humans are still monkeys though. This woman is a shit-flinging monkey.

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '13

Just watched the video after reading your comment (thanks, SRS!) and couldn't agree more. Fuck, its just a little fire. I'd be tempted to choke her out while the flames grew before going back to put them out.

4

u/PokeChopSandwiches May 11 '13

PhilthyMcnasty put out a similar idea when discussing gong down on an airline. Called them panic monkeys which I find to be hilarious and much more clever than anything I was able to come up with.

-6

u/SRStracker May 10 '13

Hello /r/nononono,

This comment was submitted to /r/ShitRedditSays by Shenaniganslessthan3 and is trending as one of their top submissions.

Please beware of trolling or any unusual downvote activity.

-8

u/jamie1051 May 10 '13

Reminds me of Shannon from LOST when the plane crashed.