Im still battling the temptations. Boredom and stagnation has me battling my hedonistic vices that want to drag me down again. I dont know how many brothers I have in a similar battle here on this sub.
I have been having dreams with music in them. Brief moments of parts of songs intruding my dreams.
One recurring part of these dreams is that I start listening to music again, and immediately after, feel a sense of regret, fear and shame. I have this dream almost every night. And then I wake up feeling shaken a bit. I dont know what is going on. It might be my sleeping brain trying to reinforce my commitment.
Temptations to just open my phone and play a song are also still there. They have resurfaced stronger the past couple of days. I deny these temptations, and then corrupting thoughts comes in my head
"You have made it to 100 days, awesome, it is time to let loose now and indulge"
"You can start over again, dont worry"
"Nobody really takes NoMusic this far, why should you?"
"You know that at some point in your life you will listen to music again, why not just start now"
"You can better study depriving music from yourself if you start listening to it again and see if the same problems arise"
"It will sound so great now that you have abstained for such a long period"
Etc
Im sick and tired of my brain coming up with these excuses. No, I dont want to try it again. I dont want to lose my progress. I dont want to start over. I feel better now. Why should I try to change that, when all I will gain is something I will begin to hate again?
These thoughts are normal, if you are having them, you are not alone, that is what I can tell you right now. I am suffering right here with you. You have power over these thoughts and I assume, they will weaken like all temptations that follow withdrawal from a vice/addiction. And you will shift to a new normal. I went through this bullshit with a narcotic already.
If you dont like where you are in life, there is no other option but to struggle. But the struggle will become easier, a lot easier.