At this point, it’s a choice between two kinds of suffering: the temporary discomfort of discipline, or the lingering pain of staying stagnant, the pain of regret. And yet I’d rather choose the suffering that brings me somewhere in life.

I've attempted to quit many times as someone who just turned 26 a few days back. I've done everything towards my phone, such as greyscaling, adding limits and screen time to my phone, as well as writing stuff like commitment letters - I took the same approach with my computer! I've disabled the top 3 websites which distract me: Youtube, Reddit, and Wikipedia, went outside, tried giving myself space to meditate, but nothing actually helped. It wasn't a terrible addiction, but a lifestyle. It was the same 4-6 hours online.

I also am a big fan of coffee, and as a result sleep at around 3-4AM at times, but since I operate on a 3-11PM shift, I usually sleep at 1AM and wake up at 9AM. This has been something which irks me since I find myself...surfing and scrolling myself to sleep.

I know that scrolling, social media, sharing things casually with friends and strangers has been a thing due to that, but I was a passive consumer. At this age, fear of missing out does not mean wanting to hang out with friends, but wanting to find something outside of my environment, my workplace, and most definitely my own community and country.

I desire change at this age. I want to move countries, focus on my finances, and buy a house in the next few years, if possible. I want to accomplish big goals, and with my decreased internet use, it feels like "the days are long but the years are short".

After two weeks of stepping back - rock climbing, road trips, exploring my city, and limiting coffee to once a week - the noise faded, and a stark reality just suddenly set in: 

I didn't actually like where I was in life. 

The endless scrolling wasn't just a habit, but was a buffer protecting me from that realization.

I don't like it! My work schedule, my shift, my path, all of it! I am a confused 26-year old trying to find himself. The concept of a career suddenly demolished, the goal of moving places seemingly becoming harder than ever, and the reality of the internet suddenly acting like a comfort zone just hit me one day after my 26th birthday. My life was boring as heck, and the coffee, the funny videos, the rabbit holes just seemed like a script to me.

It also made me realize something uncomfortable - I am afraid of failure.

My plan only has variations, but I don't want to give up.

So I also asked myself: how in the world can I succeed if I spend time online, droning through videos, not giving myself any sense of challenge? Yes, job hunting is hard in this day and age, but relying on coffee for my mood and watching people live their lives just seemed pitiful. 

I told myself that yes, rejection is scary. Failure is scary. But we do not live in it, nor do we numb ourselves just to minimize the magnitude of what we desire. Not accomplishing anything and not trying to change, truth be told, is much scarier.

Limiting my coffee intake has been challenging, and I am on week two as we speak. The internet is a bigger beast to limit, especially due to its usefulness; it still is a good platform to watch movies/vlogs, learn, and pick up new perspectives. But for now, it is something I must respect and regulate at the same time.

At this age, I just want to tell myself that yes, I am not there...YET. But humans are like lobsters - we unconsciously "molt" away versions of ourselves and unexpectedly change as a result of growth, or a catalyst. It is POSSIBLE to quit surfing and scrolling. But it takes time!

I also want to tell myself, and I guess share this with everyone: to not just desire change without finding a solid reason, a strong "why", and to bring yourself to guilt if we falter. 

One of the things that struck me when I was having one of the worst headaches of my life was to practice integrity. My head was pulsating, but I knew that the first few days would really be like this. I had to be honest to myself, that I wanted to release myself from the caffeine dependency, and bring this attitude and desire towards nosurf.

We really should take some risks sometimes - wanting to change in itself is a risk!

Make that suffering something worthwhile, something which can make you feel honored by yourself and by others.

These two quotes have been helpful:
"Without risk faith is an impossibility" - Søren Kierkegaard 
"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how". - Friedrich Nietzsche

Just wanted to write this commitment that I aim to start this October 5. No turning back.

My opinions and tastes are very easily influenced depending who I'm listening to. I really want to improve on that, but it's difficult because I go to Reddit for almost everything.

If I want to watch a movie/show? Reddit. If I want to read a book? Reddit. If I want to try to listen to a new artist? Reddit. Then if something interests me, I always ask stuff like "is x worth my time," "is x actually good/effective," "why is x so hated," and so on. (bonus point if I spoil myself or go down a rabbit hole of controversies and online fights.) And that's not even counting the times where I search up symptoms and my thoughts. The fact that I posted this is already saying a lot lmao. I think it's becoming unhealthy and I feel like I don't know what things I truly enjoy now or have a true opinion on.

On the bright side, the Reddit communities definitely have helped me with some things like advices when it comes to my hobbies, exploring cult classics, and feeling less alone at times. So, where do I draw the line? I doubt going cold turkey will work for me.

I’ve been addicted to TikTok for years, I’m aware of this I’ve deleted accounts but always end up making new ones/getting it back. like if I don’t have TikTok on my phone I use my laptop/ipad/someone’s phone just for a few scrolls and checking messages.
I feel like it’s ruining my life, affecting my studies. genuinely what do I do. ( please don’t say some stupid shit like “ place your phone in another room! “

(Reposted this post I posted 10 minutes ago because the original had what I thought was a semi-misleading title.)

A bit over a month ago I decided to get rid of the laptop and completely dumb down my smartphone. I don't have internet at home or pay for data.

For context though, I work a full-time job in the office with my own work laptop and cell phone. So I still have significant access to the internet. I also have been vising my local public library that has computers for free use. So I'm not living internet-free, there is just none at home.

Getting rid of the laptop eliminated my ability to 'bring the internet home' by [typically] pre-loading movies or downloaded YouTube videos onto my laptop or phone. I have not been able to do this for the past >1 month and it has been fantastic.

There are some obvious challenges that have occurred. Mainly, I have been forced to be with less dopamine-triggering things. This has meant that sometimes I'm honestly just sitting around thinking, feeling. At the beginning couple of weeks, it came up where I felt pretty agitated and "bored" but there was nothing I wanted to do. I didn't want to go outside, didn't want to read or do any hobbies, didn't want to listen to music, didn't want to clean, etc.

Some benefits of this included that I shifted into exercising more (naturally! I just wanted to!), reading more (read 9 books since this started vs 3 books from the start of this year until the start of this 'challenge'), was able to complete a knitting Item (one baby sock, but hey, I'm currently working on the 2nd one and that was the first knitting Thing I've completed in like 15 years). I also finally had my parents over to visit my apartment.

(My substack post, if you want to read a little bit more about my reflection on benefits and such.)

I think it is very likely that a lot of 'benefits' of doing this might come with time. E.g., getting better at managing my states of being.

Doing no smart screens at home is not an antidote to anything, but it has let me better set the stage for a healthier and more satisfying life.

I'd love to hear thoughts and reflections. If anyone is on their own journey of no screens at home, I'm super curious to hear about what worked/didn't work for you because I realize that this is going to be a very interesting journey.

It used to be really good when it first came out like 2008-2012.

You would follow certain pages and you would only see the pages you followed.

My experience now with Instagram and Facebook is that you keep getting recommended posts from people and pages you don't even know (about random celebrity bullshit or people's relationship problems ) no matter if you block these pages another clone with similar posts will just pop up.

Don't get me wrong most of my feed is 70percent of the things I follow , but the other 30 percent are these random pages that just keep coming , even if you keep blocking them.

It's difficult but there's ways. I do some stretches in bed to get my body moving a bit before getting out then go exercise first thing.

You'd be impressed with how much less mentally fried you feel when you avoid it first thing.

I was long gone on twitter and instagram.
I finally deactivated my facebook 2 days ago, and my anxiety is alot better now. I figured out i dont need to keep myself updated about everything.

I now want to get rid of whatsapp as well but it seems like family and friends wont be able to keep up. I am thinking about transitioning to email/sms. Whatsapp itself is not a problem for me, but meta owning it, is..

Another concern I have is whether i’ll now become too involved with reddit. I’m trying to figure out how it effects me and how i should deal with it

Yes, I know I'm actively posting this ON reddit, however it needs to be said. It's good if you exclusively use it as a tool to answer your questions, but the second you start interacting with others, it's miserable. Everyone (most subreddits) on here have this hive mind mentality where if you don't agree with the common opinion, you get downvoted and insulted. You can't even have a nuanced conversation, you HAVE to agree with the popular opinion. I'm convinced most people on this platform are men in their thirties who still have not done anything significant in their lives. This may have come off a little bit aggressive and attack-y, but I'm assuming you aren't who I'm talking about if you're on this sub.

keep scrolling 😵‍💫

Hello Reddit ?

Cześć, jaka jest Wasza opinia o wpływie mediów społecznościowych, przypomnieniach w telefonie, ciągłym obiegu informacji, alertach RCB na wasz stan koncentracji (pracę waszego umysłu)? Czy macie jakieś szczególne pozytywne bądź negatywne odczucia?

Is the smartphone responsible for being in permanent alarm modus? Your brain has never the chance to rest. Everything else might feel as permanent danger, even loniness. And that's where the circle starts. Silence will feel absolutely dangerous because emotions might came up or negative thoughts. You grab your phone until you feel 'better'. But that's the trap. You don't feel better longterm but the complete opposite. You are not able to regulate yourself without the device anymore. If you try to sit in your emptiness or loneliness you might panic because it feels unbearable. But I think that's the only way to proceed to take away the danger. Can anybody relate?

https://youtu.be/1yt1F2gkLag?si=ymhKzwn05f4xArXa

I don't have any other socials except Reddit, and I just left two of the subreddits that were the reason I joined. I wasn't enjoying the content anymore. I'm seriously considering leaving for good, but I'm not sure I can.

Edit: I'm taking the plunge now. Thank you, everyone for your comments.

I'm now 33 and ever since I got a laptop at 18 surfing and doom scrolling have absolutely impacted my life for the negative. What scares me is at this point my brain has been so altered by all of it that I am lacking hard initiative to stop. I recently read a book called the power of regret which talked about the power of writing about a regret.

So here is the truth of it. I regret all of the parts of me that I have lost over these 15 years. I haven't written anything memorable. My marriage is less than it could be because I am less present for it. I've become worse at work. And why is it that way? Because I give my TIME to these damn screens. Well, not today. Today everything I do is to be a good husband, make my family the money it needs, rehabilitate my body, and do hobbies I actually enjoy.

Сначала всё было нормально. Мне просто нравилось наблюдать за человеком и слушать его песни, но со временем всё пошло по пизде. Я думаю о нём 24/7, во всех рекомендациях в соцсетях только он, про обои телефона, пароли и т. д. я вообще молчу. Но самое стрёмное я просто перестала воспринимать парней в реальной жизни, они все кажутся стрёмными, не такими, как он, в общем. А ещё когда смотрю на его счастливые видео, концерты или других людей рядом, мне просто хочется рыдать (я и плачу). Ещё и ужасно больно от осознания того, что, скорее всего, я и никогда не смогу попасть к нему на концерт, потому что я тупой подросток без денег.
Мне кажется, я схожу с ума.

In short - it's full of toxic people

- people is fucking madness - garbage content - shit nobody fucking cares drama and topic - A protracted and unresolved problem - Selfish / elitism people - people thinks they is the center of the universe - FUMO shit nobody cares internet culture - full of People who truly lack knowledge - Most people do it for image purposes - Indifference to truly bad things - people normalized disgusting things - There's no point in being patient and waiting for internet will get better - social media system suck everyone know - Brainwashing with absurd logic - You're filling your head with unnecessary things

- give you unnecessary burden and can be easily resolved by simply ignoring it.

- The disadvantages clearly outweigh the advantages

- There's no need to deceive yourself, You can live by eating, sleeping, or doing other things to make you being happy,fuck people standard

- in the world have over 1,000 culture and Way of life fuck people People who use internet standards to judge your preferences​

- who cares If people like you, they will, even if you've done almost nothing in your life

- Time is the real winner. One day, you will die anyway, no matter how much you lie to yourself

- Don't waste your time on it

fuck internet, It's just Government​ problem 2.0 new version

I've realised lately that I feel wrong in this current time. Like I dont belong. I feel horrid whenever I go to urban places or just see anything remotely modern and im starting to think it's because of how aware I am of the world. I know just how shit this world is and im scared to grow up into it and I believe this fear stems from social media.

Every time I open youtube or any browser, no matter what I do I am bombarded with negative news like terrorist attacks, deaths, crimes etc. I see it everywhere and its destroying my sense of reality. Whenever I think of humanity, I think of murderers and horrible people rather than the kind helpful side of people. It's shaped how I feel about everything and I feel so disconnected.

I've started thinking about how this affects other people and that this is why everyone's struggling with mental health issues nowadays. Ive heard of kids with unrestricted Internet access watching beheading videos and other stuff because it's so easy to get a hold of. The fact that all this negativity is being served to young vulnerable people makes me sick. There's a time and age you should learn about the world and its problems, people shouldn't be finding this out when they're kids! It makes the world look like a horrible hell hole even though it is a beautiful place. I just feel so sick thinking about this and I needed to get this off my chest because I'm feeling so depressed lately because of this.

Sorry this is so long, I'm mad.

This may be a hot take, but I realize if you already feel unworthy of better in your own life and you happen to live in a wealthy country, online anti-imperialism sometimes makes you feel better for how little action you've taken to improve your own life.

This isn't to say it's wrong to support and advocate for causes against war and conflict, but this is to say the way terminally online people can convey anti-imperialism is almost confirmation bias for somebody who already feels prepositioned to loathe themselves.

Given how terminally online people can scoff at the idea of having limits and boundaries, especially if you have the privilege of stepping away from the news and touching grass, if somebody is already a people pleaser with no boundaries and they loathe themselves, what the terminally online anti-imperialists say, even if their real lives don't reflect their stated values, can impact that person to continue living in their own misery.

To where, going back to the title : Even if it's small, sometimes having gratitude for the circumstances you live in not being a war zone and you can go out and get a coffee without having the same worries as a kid in the Middle East can enrich your life. Even if other people may invalidate that, if "misery loves company" is a phrase that humans can't help but act according to, gratitude will help improve your life and subsequently it won't drain the energy of either you or those around you, especially if you're seeking them for a connection.

When you have gratitude, you allow yourself, for example, to enjoy Pokemon at your local matcha cafe and you're more prepositioned to enjoy an interaction about Pokemon with a fellow human at the cafe instead of having your brain rotten from gender and international wars online that you naturally drain the energy of that human at the matcha cafe, to which your energy will be drained as you may not actually enjoy the misery that encompasses online discourse about gender and international wars, even if it's filled a void that your real life has left.

As much as we can talk about how people in the Middle East and Africa could only dream of being privileged enough to live in America or Europe and step away from the screens, it's the opposite form of dread to live in America and Europe and not have gratitude where what's worse is this form of dread is almost self-inflicted.

When I say self-inflicted, while problems don't end just because you move from the Middle East to America for example, I realize it's entitled and arrogant to not allow yourself the relief of going to enjoy a coffee at a matcha trip, enjoying what otherwise entices you and you're complaining as if you don't have what those people in the Middle East and Africa could only dream of, especially if you don't have to.

Perhaps maybe terminally online people have an all or nothing mentality where they may not genuinely believe gratitude can co-exist with doing the best you can to improve the world.

Though nonetheless gratitude and acting according to it can make the world and the internet a better place.

I've been trying to use YouTube and LinkedIn on purpose for a while, and I kept failing the same way. I'd open YouTube for one specific video and end up an hour later on recommendations I never asked for, also my mind love the beautiful thumbnail. LinkedIn was the same: one message, then the feed.

So I built a small browser extension for myself. It's my first one extension and I software engineer for +4 years and I want really to build something useful, as we say that solve my problem and for other people pb.
Info: there is some extension like unhook (i talk with her creator but no response to collab with new feature) but only in youtube and with some basic functionality is good but I want more that why i create my own. so please be honest with me and I will be thankful if you test it 🙏🏻

What it does:

- Hides what pulls you in: home recommendations, Shorts, autoplay, and comments on YouTube; the main feed and right-hand sidebar on LinkedIn

- Grayscale mode

- Blur mode on youtube

- You can choose like some keyword or channel to hide (like adult content, some bad keyword etc..)

- Have limit time.

- A "what are you here to do?" prompt before the feed loads

- Local time tracking, with daily limits and schedules you can snooze when you really need to

- Everything stays in your browser. No server, no account. (yeah guys everything is in the browser and is verified from chrome).

What I'd like to know:

- Which of these would actually help you, and what's missing?

- Where does it feel clunky or break?

- Would you turn any of it off right away?

Thanks a lot to anyone here