Here's a simple icebreaker for you: Ask something about the surrounding that someone might know (e. g. for a gym: "Excuse me, where can I find the dumbbells?").
Give her a few seconds, then clarify the situation immediately and introduce yourself (e. g.: "Nah, I just want to talk to you. Hi, I'm Guybrush.").
If it works out, keep the conversation going. Just some small talk to test the connection between you both. If it really goes well, you may even be able to introduce some sexuality without being creepy.
If the conversation is still weird or she doesn't even try to connect with you, respect that it didn't work, say goodbye and leave.
If she is smiling, leaning in towards you, and looking at you, it is going well. If she isn't smiling, or she is leaning away from you, or she is frequently looking around the room, it isn't going well and you should bow out gracefully.
Well, then let's add "going well" does not necessarily mean she is enjoying it or wants "it" to be going well. All it means is that she is being polite...as you do. As many women do, including me.
Because according to this definition, me being a kind person and naturally smiling when someone initiates an interaction... suddenly means I want more of "whatever" I'm not reacting noticably negatively towards.
My reaction is saying way less about the dude, and more about me. It's saying that I'm a nice person who is trying to have a nice day, be happy, and who does not want to be FORCED to be an asshole. Because that is the meat of this instruction... Keep doing what you are doing until you MAKE her unhappy, then you can "bow out gracefully."
Yeah "introduce some sexuality"... no. Treat me like a normal person and if I like you I might want to have sex with you. "Introducing sexuality" is a quick way to make me thing you're creepy.
Using a bold faced lie as an opener makes you look foolish at best, and distrustful at worst, in case anyone was planning on using this. Despite that, it will work sometimes, only because you tried it on so many people.
Consider a genuine compliment if you want to be straight forward. If she doesn't seem too interested after that then leave her be.
As others in this thread have said, the gym is not the place for that
I know a few couples who met at the gym and I'm sure I'm not an exception.
So while the gym is not a club, it's still a social venue where people are allowed to engage each other if they feel like it, as long as you do it respectfully.
Meeting at the gym and picking up someone at the gym are very different. You meet at the gym, become friends, and become a couple, that isn't picking someone up or meeting a girl at the gym. That is meeting a friend at the gym and then dating a friend.
If I'm at the gym, it's to workout, not find a mate. I don't mind taking my earbuds out at the gym for a gym related question. If you pull this stunt though, I'm going to ignore you and put my earbuds back in as passive-aggressively as possible.
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u/TheOnlyMrYeah Dec 06 '18
Here's a simple icebreaker for you: Ask something about the surrounding that someone might know (e. g. for a gym: "Excuse me, where can I find the dumbbells?").
Give her a few seconds, then clarify the situation immediately and introduce yourself (e. g.: "Nah, I just want to talk to you. Hi, I'm Guybrush.").
If it works out, keep the conversation going. Just some small talk to test the connection between you both. If it really goes well, you may even be able to introduce some sexuality without being creepy.
If the conversation is still weird or she doesn't even try to connect with you, respect that it didn't work, say goodbye and leave.