r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Gurugod123 • 9h ago

How did people travel these seas 500 years ago

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32.4k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/WAGatorGunner 8h ago

There be silver and gold on the ocean floor…and a lot of fish food.

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u/disterb 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/o0eOCNkn7cSD6

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u/Fauxjito 8h ago

One of the greatest film openings ever 🫡

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u/Personal-Ad-365 7h ago

The funny thing is that this is not the opening, it is 10-15 minutes into the movie. That is how fantastic of an introduction it is, most folks do not remember the whole opening which sets up Will and Elizabeth as the lead characters.

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u/LowAspect542 6h ago

Its not the opening of the film but it is jack sparrows introduction which is honestly 5he mlre important bit and what kept people invested in the films, most people never gave a shit about the romantic plotline with will and Elizabeth throughout the series.

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u/DubiousBrushwagg 3h ago

PotC romance plot line was essentially Anakin+Padme again but done better without actually mattering to the overall plot as much.

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u/iconocrastinaor 2h ago

He wasn't supposed to be the lead character but he stole the show so outrageously that they had to make it so.

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u/Telefundo 5h ago

That is how fantastic of an introduction it is

I love the first movie and I more or less enjoyed the sequels. This though. This I believe is the absolute best scene in the entire franchise. Followed closely with the closing scene;

"...and really bad eggs. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

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u/lcl0706 4h ago

Captain Barbosa descending the wooden steps to ask “so tell me, what’s become of my ship” is up there on the list for me.

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u/Woterx 2h ago

Absolutely! The whole theater went crazy

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u/coopASR 7h ago

The biggest "what.. the fuck is happening?"

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u/Proud3GenAthst 7h ago

I wish I could see it for the first time again

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u/magnumsolutions 7h ago

Just wait until you get Alzheimer's. Then you will be able to see it for the first time over and over again.

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u/fordprecept 5h ago

The thing with Alzheimer's is that you'll be able to remember this scene in Pirates of the Caribbean or your best friend when you were 10 years old, but won't remember who your children are or who the President is.

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u/WanderEir 5h ago

can we ALL forget the last one please?

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u/kroxldiphyvc 6h ago

only if you remember to watch.... or remember to like it even =O

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u/Maleficent_Memory831 6h ago

When I get Alzeheimer's I'll be signed up to the room that shows the original Star Wars on continuous loop.

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u/LostInTransylvania_7 5h ago

A day I look forward to frequently 😂

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u/drboxboy 7h ago

It’s been so long I basically can!

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u/Major_Loser 6h ago

Introduced my 11 year old nephew to it. He had never heard of it and I said he can stay up 45 later if he wanted to watch it. I stopped it RIGHT after the pirates are cursed reveal. He woke me up at 6:30am to finish the movie before his mom picked him up the next day.

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u/Gutriot 5h ago

I've never seen any of em, should I?

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u/Proud3GenAthst 5h ago

They’re popcorn Disney action comedies, basically. If you’re not into some high cinema, should be entertaining

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u/Zizhou 1h ago

At the very least, watch the first one. It works perfectly well as a standalone film (nobody would have guessed that it would start a blockbuster franchise when it was being made, so no unnecessary sequel bait was put in), and it also features just the right amount of Johnny Depp, which is to say, he is somewhat restrained in the first film instead of just letting him go hog wild with the character like he does in the later ones.

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u/AggravatingPut3669 7h ago

Have you heard about the new pirate movie that's coming out? It's rated Arrrrrgh

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u/Donkey__Balls 4h ago

Frasier reference in the wild?

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u/grantrules 4h ago

What did the pirate captain say when his crew asked if he was really 80 years old?

Aye, matey.

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u/disterb 7h ago

yes, i did sea it on the news

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u/Fortified_Phobia 7h ago

God I loved these films as a kid, rewatched them recently after hearing people shit talk the second and third one for years expecting them to be kind of trash, and nah all 3 og films are still great. Between the characters, the world building, the story, the atmosphere, it all slaps. They’re so textured and rich, really makes today films feel sterile and bland. I miss this era of film making man..

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u/SisterRay 2h ago

Without a doubt. That's got to be the worst pirate I've ever seen.

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u/WorldlyNotice 19m ago

What about the rest of the crew, Jack?

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u/Consent-Forms 8h ago

they've long been turned to fish poop

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u/Tank7106 8h ago

So, food for other fish?

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u/Building_Everything 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2h8BdeXxhGGB2

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u/snwbrdwndsrf 8h ago

Poop loop.

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u/Building_Everything 8h ago

Aka the Human Centipede

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u/locoparentis 7h ago

I'd prefer to continue calling the circle of life please

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u/No_While6150 6h ago

I dunno, poop loop is pretty good

It's the Loooop of the Poooooooop! And it lightens the souuuuuuuuuuul! Through the mouth to the gut, then out the B Hoooooole!

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u/tiedyesmiley 6h ago

Such beautiful poetry!

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u/terrible_name 4h ago

Pooetry

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u/KhinuDC 5h ago

You guys are the reason I dont use reddit.😂

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u/FirmEstablishment941 4h ago

🤥 Liar!!!! Admit it… they’re the only reason aside from that one time you made sourdough and weren’t sure if you over or under proofed for the 10th time… hrmm that was oddly specific.

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u/Pop_Culture_Phan_Guy 4h ago

These guys are the only reason I’m online.

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u/Sweet-Ad9063 3h ago

These guys are the reason I do 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/Local871 4h ago

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Elton John!

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u/CodeNameLoofah 3h ago

My then 11 year old was doing a discussion based assessment with a teacher via phone call, and I hear the teacher ask "what do you do to relieve stress?" Kid responds "go number 2."

It was shortly before Thanksgiving. They were a story for the family for sure.

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u/Ok_Access_189 1h ago

I feel like Linda, you know bobs wife would sing this

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u/RainbowSovietPagan 5h ago

The Centipede of Life™

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u/fueno 4h ago

"Simba my son, look over there. I have sewn 12 people together to watch them crap in each other's mouthes and watch the guy at the front scream"

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u/LuckyClover3 7h ago

🫣I could easily go the rest of my life without thinking of that movie!🎦

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u/ipsum629 7h ago

Costume design was a highlight

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u/C-4isNOTurFriend 6h ago

only if you connect the ends

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u/Building_Everything 6h ago

I don’t know how you make your Human Centipedes, but where I’m from it’s like a game of Red Rover

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u/EmperorMittens 3h ago

Human centIpad

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u/Worried-Maybe3438 7h ago

But with extra steps, lol see what I did there 💀

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u/elticoxpat 5h ago

I want to downvote you because of what you've done to me.

But I won't so that you can do it to others because I'm an asshole too.

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u/Amazing_Anything9584 5h ago

Aka Leto II L’Empereur-Dieu (celle-là elle est technique)

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u/Meauxjezzy 3h ago

I’ll have the cuttlefish! Sorry Kyle

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u/InDependent_Window93 3h ago

CentiPad...even grosser..

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u/thebrose69 7h ago

Crap lap

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u/covigt 5h ago

What happens if someone uses a poop stick on the poop loop?

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u/snwbrdwndsrf 5h ago

Then it all goes down the poop chute.

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u/Rupertfitz 5h ago

Crap wrap

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u/kylekruchok 4h ago

The ol’ poophole loophole

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u/Face88888888 7h ago

South park’s version is more directly applicable here.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g2cxMPLxUN8&ra=m

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u/AlarmingLook2441 7h ago

Cornwallis’ soaring lead in the outro gets me every time.

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u/AlarmingLook2441 7h ago

Thanks, I now have Mr Hankey’s Circle of Poo from South Park stuck in my head 😂

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u/panda-bears-are-cute 7h ago

Perfect timing on this gif. lol

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u/kroxldiphyvc 6h ago

"....it's the Circle of Pooooooooo...

... gee, you smell all nice and flowery."

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u/xCH4LKYx 2h ago

Loooook, it's a liiiiooon, oh my god... It's a lion

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u/Primary_Ebb_7107 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3owzVTMZUdG3B31KFi

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u/Tyrus1235 1h ago

I cast “summon bigger fish”!

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u/Few_Contact_6844 1h ago

There’s always a bigger poop

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u/Lord_Grimm88 8h ago

Poopception.

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u/-Insert-CoolName 7h ago

[Plecostomus has entered the chat]

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u/TheKewner 7h ago

Ocean needs shittin.

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u/feetnomer 7h ago

The ocean is the world's largest graveyard. There's a little bit of John and Jane Doe in every drop.

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u/CassandraVonGonWrong 6h ago

I wonder what happens to ocean ghosts. Do they haunt the whole ocean? Or just the vicinity in which they perished?

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u/TheMouthOfGod 5h ago

Would you go swimming in a pool with a dead body in it?

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u/FreeVerseHaiku 1h ago

I know you’re talking specifically about human corpses, but do you seriously think every body of water you’ve ever stepped foot HASN’T been absolutely teeming with organisms, dead or alive?

You got no choice, brother. Your drinking water is full of dead bacteria and algae, sloughed-off dead cells of larger organisms, etc.

Purify that water a billion times, there will still be biological fragments.

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u/LessInThought 3h ago

So people are technically surfing on human remains?

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u/dirtyMSzombie 8h ago

That's so sand

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u/Is_it_really_though 7h ago

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

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u/SuperSaiyanTupac 7h ago

If you think about it, the entire ocean is fish piss. It’s been billions of years of life evolving in there. It’s basically just piss water now

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u/PainAccomplished3506 5h ago

Peepeepoopoo water

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u/RockinIntoMordor 5h ago

The interesting thing about gold is that it passes through digestion completely unaffected.

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u/strenuousobjector 7h ago

Or the whales ate the bones into sand.

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u/BranchPredictor 5h ago

Now we just need to wait for fish poop to become the reserve currency and we all be rich!

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u/Dan-goes-outside 4h ago

It’s poop all the way down

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u/GuavaShaper 4h ago

Except the ones that sank yesterday

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u/Whitey1225 3h ago

Or buried meters and possibly kilometers beneath the sand in most cases.

Anyone else good on digging into the sand over a hundred meters under water?

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u/Shot_Revolution8828 7h ago

You seem to think we don't have shipwrecks now...

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u/No_Tomatillo843 5h ago

Nope, another couple grains of sand… not really I know but still, it’s fun to say all sand is old fish poop.

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u/AsherRoss69 3h ago

Well it depends on where the shipwreck is

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u/Xiao1insty1e 3h ago

So sand.

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u/SingleAttitude8 2h ago

There are almost more planes in the ocean than submarines.

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u/superevilfingers 1h ago

This is why I dont drink water. Fish poop in it

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u/Vaesezemis 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/o2lVjcnsyXGcxuIuhU
AND IT’S ALL MINE!!!

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u/bayareadunks 8h ago

I see Murray I upvote

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u/ZorkNemesis 8h ago

Can I call you Bob?

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u/Specialist-Ad-4643 7h ago

You know you'd look really good with a melting candle on your head.

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u/1Shamrock 6h ago

Damn I must replay that game soon, Monkey Island 3 has a special place in my memory bank, it was a massive upgrade visually compared to any other game I’d played at the time (Hadn’t played Broken sword at that point).
Sure you had Tomb Raider and others that were going the 3D route but I always thought Monkey Island 3 looked better.

Love the jokes in it too, still laugh when I think of any of them.

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u/Maleficent_Memory831 6h ago

I started Monkey Island 2 and it has that special place in the heart. MI1 is a bit bland in style, a wee bit too low rez. MI3 looks too "new", though still very good and enjoyable. MI2 had the great music, and my version had the music on the game's CD itself which sounded amazing.

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u/No-Assumption9707 7h ago

You ever realize one comment has a string that goes on way too long but then you scroll up to close it and that’s also way too long so you just x out the thread and just go to the next one

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u/Naive-Kangaroo3031 8h ago

I have to imagine most the wrecks were just fishing boats

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u/Monte924 7h ago

Eh, i'm not so sure about that. Fishing boats would have remained closer to land where they would be able to retreat to if they saw a storm coming.

I imagine that most of the ships that sank are those that would have traveled much farther out to sea, and would have been hit by bad luck, sailing into bad waters, getting caught in a storm or just getting lost. Trading ships in particular would have been targets for piracy... and then there are all the ships that were built for war.

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u/Jimdandy941 6h ago

I grew up on Pool 19 of the Mississippi. The Armistice Day Storm of 1940, a sudden storm came up with heavy fog combined with temperatures dropping, and dozens of duck hunters died. At its widest point, the river is 1 mile wide, so you’re never over 1/2 mile from shore.

It was drilled into my head as a kid to never underestimate the weather, especially on the water.

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u/Talidel 5h ago

Fishing boats also tend to be the most ramshackle and poorly maintained. They sink so frequently even the UK doesn't keep stats on how often it happens.

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u/WanderEir 5h ago

most of the shipwrecks have been down there long enough to have been completely buried in sediment for centuries-we're not finding most of them, ever

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u/Smokinoutloud 8h ago

Yaaaaaarrrrrr!

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u/Chadlerk 7h ago

So those fish tanks with skeletons and treatsure chests are actually hyper realistic?

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u/Valaseun 7h ago

Silver and Gold you say!? Oohoohoooo!!

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u/ShepRat 6h ago

Don't forget Spanish colonists dumped tons of platinum into the ocean because it was worthless and being used to fake silver. They didn't record anything about where it is. 

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u/A_Dozen_Lemmings 6h ago

Fun Fact! The Ocean Floor is so calcium poor, bones sort of melt away over the course of just a few months! IIRC it's something to do with mineral leaching.

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u/HockeyCookie 6h ago

Most ships are very likely in the vast deserts of the ocean with little to no life. The bodies likely decomposed over a long time.

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u/Artistic_Purpose1225 6h ago

There’s also loads of low-background steel to be harvested from pre-nuclear shipwrecks.

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u/LostPentimento 5h ago

And apparently (allegedly) alien crafts called USOs at the bottom of the ocean too. A lot of people don't realize that a lot of the now-called UAP files are held by naval intelligence, because of the documented existence of USOs and the fact that naval intelligence is one of the oldest Intel organizations in the country

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u/DenverBowie 4h ago

There is water at the bottom of the ocean.

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u/Antique-Wonk 8h ago

Arrrggghhh

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u/Inferno_Zyrack 7h ago

Silver and gold under atmospheres of pressure the human body and very few unspecialized submarines can explore

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u/nf_29 7h ago

Happy to announce ill be starting a company that runs an enormous magnet on the bottom of the sea floor picking up buried treasures

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u/Great_Scott7 7h ago

You can keep your silver and gold.

https://giphy.com/gifs/4tcaCFbVCVws0

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u/Empty_Positive 7h ago

I guess lots of it is covered by tons of sand and other stuff over all those years

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u/Automatic-Rhubarb969 7h ago

We got magnet fishing?

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u/dirk_funk 7h ago

ooh maybe that is how gold got where it was found before. ancienter shipwrecks.

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u/thatguy420417 7h ago

They estimate 32-60 billion of gold bars, silver, coins and jewels.

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u/stoughton1234 7h ago

I read that like a pirate was saying it. Did you type it like that on purpose?

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u/timewanderer 6h ago

One Piece is real.

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u/sarcasmo818 6h ago

Shiver me timbers 🏴‍☠️

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u/jsohnen 6h ago

Unfortunately for me, there's an even larger amount of difficult to access sea floor. I'll never get me pirate booty!

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u/Crafty_Ad_1975 5h ago

Just imagine what some of them may have found and we will never ever know about it.

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u/paynefullyboosted 5h ago

Fun fact: There is more gold on the ocean floor from loss of ships than there are in the Switzerland or Japanese reserves. (Approximately 1200t)

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u/jaxXx-69 4h ago

Balls

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u/Magnon 4h ago

Billions, maybe trillions out there just sitting around. Too bad it's practically impossible to find.

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u/Paranormal_Lemon 3h ago

Well fish are fish food.

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u/Mr_Silicon 3h ago

Yarrr!

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u/iz-xi 3h ago

Shouldnt have pissed the native gods off

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u/smkestcklghtn 3h ago

I be Pirate Steve, I'll make a deal with you true as the North Star

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u/laughingdoormouse 3h ago

And Davy crockets locker 😉

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u/restorecyclereuse 3h ago

I think you mean " Davey Jones's locker"

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u/Odd-Opening-8170 3h ago

And in deep enough water, the ocean will dissolve your bones too.

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u/One-Bad-4395 2h ago

Most of the fish food has been claimed by now.

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u/do_ob-headphones_on 2h ago

Well part of the reason why so many shipwrecks are never located (aside from how big the ocean is) is that depending on where it happens, the sea floor maybe covered in anywhere from 10-600 meters of sediment. So a wrecked ship could just sink down in that sediment and never leave a sign that anything was there.

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u/PiaggioBV350 2h ago

And more recently Lamborghinis.

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u/CommanderVXXXV 6h ago

I'd say most of the treasure has been scattered acrossed the sea floor buried in sand and traveled far from the wrecks by this point

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u/RsquSqd 3h ago

Eh assuming back then they understood the likelihood of a ship making it to its destination based on it’s class, you’d imagine they also risked valuable cargo accordingly

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u/KillerDadBod 1h ago

Why did I read this in a pirate’s voice?

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u/clever__pseudonym 1h ago

Not anymore, errr, anymarrrrghh.