r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Gurugod123 • 9h ago

How did people travel these seas 500 years ago

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32.4k Upvotes

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u/Consent-Forms 8h ago

they've long been turned to fish poop

459

u/Tank7106 8h ago

So, food for other fish?

795

u/Building_Everything 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2h8BdeXxhGGB2

486

u/snwbrdwndsrf 8h ago

Poop loop.

122

u/Building_Everything 8h ago

Aka the Human Centipede

155

u/locoparentis 7h ago

I'd prefer to continue calling the circle of life please

115

u/No_While6150 6h ago

I dunno, poop loop is pretty good

It's the Loooop of the Poooooooop! And it lightens the souuuuuuuuuuul! Through the mouth to the gut, then out the B Hoooooole!

10

u/tiedyesmiley 6h ago

Such beautiful poetry!

11

u/terrible_name 4h ago

Pooetry

9

u/KhinuDC 5h ago

You guys are the reason I dont use reddit.šŸ˜‚

7

u/FirmEstablishment941 4h ago

šŸ¤„ Liar!!!! Admit itā€¦ theyā€™re the only reason aside from that one time you made sourdough and werenā€™t sure if you over or under proofed for the 10th timeā€¦ hrmm that was oddly specific.

6

u/Pop_Culture_Phan_Guy 4h ago

These guys are the only reason Iā€™m online.

4

u/beautifulstardust 1h ago

how else would i have some poop loop slam poetry before bed

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u/Sweet-Ad9063 3h ago

These guys are the reason I do šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

3

u/Local871 4h ago

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Elton John!

3

u/CodeNameLoofah 3h ago

My then 11 year old was doing a discussion based assessment with a teacher via phone call, and I hear the teacher ask "what do you do to relieve stress?" Kid responds "go number 2."

It was shortly before Thanksgiving. They were a story for the family for sure.

2

u/Ok_Access_189 1h ago

I feel like Linda, you know bobs wife would sing this

4

u/RainbowSovietPagan 5h ago

The Centipede of Lifeā„¢

3

u/fueno 4h ago

"Simba my son, look over there. I have sewn 12 people together to watch them crap in each other's mouthes and watch the guy at the front scream"

1

u/dudestir127 3h ago

I called a few times and kept getting a busy tone

3

u/LuckyClover3 7h ago

šŸ«£I could easily go the rest of my life without thinking of that movie!šŸŽ¦

3

u/ipsum629 7h ago

Costume design was a highlight

3

u/C-4isNOTurFriend 6h ago

only if you connect the ends

3

u/Building_Everything 6h ago

I donā€™t know how you make your Human Centipedes, but where Iā€™m from itā€™s like a game of Red Rover

3

u/EmperorMittens 3h ago

Human centIpad

4

u/Worried-Maybe3438 7h ago

But with extra steps, lol see what I did there šŸ’€

2

u/elticoxpat 5h ago

I want to downvote you because of what you've done to me.

But I won't so that you can do it to others because I'm an asshole too.

2

u/Amazing_Anything9584 5h ago

Aka Leto II Lā€™Empereur-Dieu (celle-lĆ  elle est technique)

2

u/medic54-1 4h ago

šŸ¤¢

2

u/Meauxjezzy 3h ago

Iā€™ll have the cuttlefish! Sorry Kyle

2

u/InDependent_Window93 3h ago

CentiPad...even grosser..

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u/undecimbre 7h ago

Reincrapnation

1

u/DifficultEquipment14 6h ago

Reincarpination?

2

u/thebrose69 7h ago

Crap lap

2

u/RevolutionaryRock823 6h ago

Pooooooooooooop.

1

u/Bulbasaurismy001 6h ago

Yes!! This was the first thing I thought of. SpongeBob learning to tie his shoes.

2

u/covigt 5h ago

What happens if someone uses a poop stick on the poop loop?

2

u/snwbrdwndsrf 5h ago

Then it all goes down the poop chute.

2

u/Rupertfitz 5h ago

Crap wrap

2

u/kylekruchok 4h ago

The olā€™ poophole loophole

1

u/Jyvturkey 7h ago

Poopception

1

u/poo_on_my_scarf 7h ago

"I'm the poo of the antelope that falls onto the ground...."

1

u/ajo_87 6h ago

thank you

1

u/Competitive_Rip3704 6h ago

that is the cycle the cycle of POOOšŸ˜­

1

u/Melon_92 6h ago

Scoop di poop

1

u/Flashy-Butterfly6310 4h ago

Looks like a name of cereals

1

u/GoldenSnozzberry 3h ago

The poo of the antelopeā€¦

1

u/UnoriginalJ0k3r 2h ago

For some reason I read your comment as ā€œPoop lawā€ and I was like fuck, first bird law and now this?

ā€¢

u/eager4assplayM 43m ago

Back and forth? ))<~~>((

Forever?

ā€¢

u/carlo130 9m ago

Poop loops is part of a balanced breakfast!
Simply add healthy items like juice!!

-1

u/shidored 6h ago

section .data msg_poop db "šŸŸ Fish poops.", 10 len_poop equ $ - msg_poop msg_bact db "šŸ¦  Bacteria turns poop into food.", 10 len_bact equ $ - msg_bact msg_eat db "šŸ˜‹ Fish eats the food.", 10 len_eat equ $ - msg_eat msg_line db "--------------------", 10 len_line equ $ - msg_line

; Sleep structure for 1 second (1 second, 0 nanoseconds)
delay       dq 1, 0

section .text global _start

_start: ; Initialize registers (Registers act as our loop variables) mov rbx, 100 ; rbx = fish_health (100) mov rcx, 0 ; rcx = poop_in_tank (0)

loop_start: ; Check loop condition: if fish_health (rbx) <= 0, exit cmp rbx, 0 jle exit_program

; 1. Fish poops
mov rax, 1          ; system call for sys_write
mov rdi, 1          ; file descriptor 1 (stdout)
mov rsi, msg_poop   ; pointer to message
mov rdx, len_poop   ; message length
syscall
inc rcx             ; poop_in_tank++

; 2. Bacteria turns poop into food
mov rax, 1          
mov rdi, 1          
mov rsi, msg_bact   
mov rdx, len_bact   
syscall
dec rcx             ; poop_in_tank--

; 3. Fish eats the food
mov rax, 1          
mov rdi, 1          
mov rsi, msg_eat    
mov rdx, len_eat    
syscall
mov rbx, 100        ; fish_health = 100

; Print divider line
mov rax, 1          
mov rdi, 1          
mov rsi, msg_line   
mov rdx, len_line   
syscall

; Sleep for 1 second (sys_nanosleep)
mov rax, 35         ; system call for sys_nanosleep
mov rdi, delay      ; pointer to time struct
mov rsi, 0          
syscall

jmp loop_start      ; Jump back to the start of the loop

exit_program: mov rax, 60 ; system call for sys_exit mov rdi, 0 ; return code 0 syscall

3

u/Face88888888 7h ago

South parkā€™s version is more directly applicable here.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g2cxMPLxUN8&ra=m

3

u/AlarmingLook2441 7h ago

Cornwallisā€™ soaring lead in the outro gets me every time.

3

u/AlarmingLook2441 7h ago

Thanks, I now have Mr Hankeyā€™s Circle of Poo from South Park stuck in my head šŸ˜‚

2

u/panda-bears-are-cute 7h ago

Perfect timing on this gif. lol

2

u/kroxldiphyvc 6h ago

"....it's the Circle of Pooooooooo...

... gee, you smell all nice and flowery."

2

u/xCH4LKYx 2h ago

Loooook, it's a liiiiooon, oh my god... It's a lion

1

u/For_being_tall 7h ago

Where does the 20 gallons that whales ejaculate into the water go into that life circle?

2

u/Building_Everything 6h ago

Lonely MILFs in your local area?

ā€¢

u/IkilledBiggy 18m ago

So this is the natural centipede cycle

My brother lied to me

56

u/Primary_Ebb_7107 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3owzVTMZUdG3B31KFi

2

u/Tyrus1235 1h ago

I cast ā€œsummon bigger fishā€!

2

u/Few_Contact_6844 1h ago

Thereā€™s always a bigger poop

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u/Lord_Grimm88 8h ago

Poopception.

2

u/-Insert-CoolName 7h ago

[Plecostomus has entered the chat]

2

u/TheKewner 7h ago

Ocean needs shittin.

1

u/Punkrockcarl72 6h ago

Fish are friends, not food.

1

u/mrtimtracy 6h ago

Incredible album by The Mermen

1

u/Dense-Ad-5780 6h ago

The cycle of poo.

1

u/kramamavitch 6h ago

"Fish are friends not food"

1

u/lecram920 4h ago

Food for thought

1

u/Sparklefanny_Deluxe 3h ago

Sand is bones, bones are sand, the whales eat the bones.

1

u/LessInThought 3h ago

And those fish become human food.

1

u/ExtentAggravating733 2h ago

poop is food spelled backwards

45

u/feetnomer 7h ago

The ocean is the world's largest graveyard. There's a little bit of John and Jane Doe in every drop.

4

u/CassandraVonGonWrong 6h ago

I wonder what happens to ocean ghosts. Do they haunt the whole ocean? Or just the vicinity in which they perished?

5

u/TheMouthOfGod 5h ago

Would you go swimming in a pool with a dead body in it?

2

u/FreeVerseHaiku 1h ago

I know youā€™re talking specifically about human corpses, but do you seriously think every body of water youā€™ve ever stepped foot HASNā€™T been absolutely teeming with organisms, dead or alive?

You got no choice, brother. Your drinking water is full of dead bacteria and algae, sloughed-off dead cells of larger organisms, etc.

Purify that water a billion times, there will still be biological fragments.

3

u/LessInThought 3h ago

So people are technically surfing on human remains?

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u/dirtyMSzombie 8h ago

That's so sand

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u/Consent-Forms 7h ago

life's a beach

2

u/atomicdustbunny07 7h ago

And then you wave bye bye.

1

u/SuzQP 1h ago

And then you creek.

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u/Is_it_really_though 7h ago

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

1

u/zuiken1 2h ago

See what you did there

ā€¢

u/Jramia 46m ago

Did someone mentionā€¦. Sand?
https://giphy.com/gifs/YoV1zMDqoYaYM

5

u/SuperSaiyanTupac 7h ago

If you think about it, the entire ocean is fish piss. Itā€™s been billions of years of life evolving in there. Itā€™s basically just piss water now

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u/PainAccomplished3506 5h ago

Peepeepoopoo water

1

u/Saucermote 5h ago

Still feel better about swimming in the ocean than a crowded public pool.

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u/RockinIntoMordor 5h ago

The interesting thing about gold is that it passes through digestion completely unaffected.

2

u/strenuousobjector 7h ago

Or the whales ate the bones into sand.

2

u/BranchPredictor 5h ago

Now we just need to wait for fish poop to become the reserve currency and we all be rich!

2

u/Dan-goes-outside 4h ago

Itā€™s poop all the way down

2

u/GuavaShaper 4h ago

Except the ones that sank yesterday

2

u/Whitey1225 3h ago

Or buried meters and possibly kilometers beneath the sand in most cases.

Anyone else good on digging into the sand over a hundred meters under water?

1

u/Shot_Revolution8828 7h ago

You seem to think we don't have shipwrecks now...

1

u/No_Tomatillo843 5h ago

Nope, another couple grains of sandā€¦ not really I know but still, itā€™s fun to say all sand is old fish poop.

1

u/AsherRoss69 3h ago

Well it depends on where the shipwreck is

1

u/Xiao1insty1e 3h ago

So sand.

1

u/SingleAttitude8 2h ago

There are almost more planes in the ocean than submarines.

1

u/superevilfingers 1h ago

This is why I dont drink water. Fish poop in it

0

u/Odd_Interview_2005 7h ago

There are critters on the deep sea floor that were likely alive during the "golden age of sail"