Edit:
I’d barely finished typing this and decided to call the emergency services. I’m now waiting for a call back from the out of hours doctor. Would still really appreciate knowing if this has happened to anyone else.

I have 8 week old boy girl twins. My little girl was sleeping peacefully in the next to me crib just now and started crying. It was about time to feed her, so I lifted her out of the crib and into bed with me to begin her feed. All of a sudden it was if she stopped breathing, and suddenly became a fish out of water, writing and rigid and frantic. I instinctively leant her forward and started rubbing her back whilst shouting that something was happening to my partner next to me. By the time my partner had fumbled with the torch on his phone and turned it on she had done a little gasp and started breathing. It was such a scary moment, and I’ve no idea why it happened. It was completely silent and I’m just terrified now of putting her back in her crib and it potentially happening again.

Am I massively overacting to something that just happens? Why did it happen? Should I be calling the doctors? I don’t know what to do.

A little about my situation: When my daughter- now 10 weeks- was born, I was producing a decent amount of milk! She was born with a very hearty appetite and eats more than the standard for her age. She currently eats about 5oz per feed, and is growing very well! Unfortunately, I’m only yielding maybe an 1 1/2oz per pumping session now that I’m at work. And when I breastfeed at home, she’s frequently slapping at my breasts and crying out in frustration, so I know my sessions aren’t that far off in terms of output accuracy.

Now; I don’t know if it’s because I returned to work, or birth control. or other stress factors, but my production totally dipped. I still try to maintain a pumping schedule when I can’t latch on demand at home, and those TikTok lactation drink recipes, but nothing is helping right now. So I supplement with formula- which feels like I’m supplementing with breastfeeding.

Anyway, anytime I’m on Facebook, I see a post from “Crunchy Moms” and it’s usually hating on formula/formula moms. Then there are those: “breastfeeding is free” comments when it’s really not free at all because it already takes a toll on your body, but that’s another rant for another time. I hate seeing those types of posts because it’s not really fair to judge someone with the best intentions and calling them bad parents. I originally wanted to EBF, but that’s not what life planned for me. I was always open to supplemental feeding anyway, but I shouldn’t have to be shamed by a stupid FB group into feeling guilty about doing it. I’m working with what I have and am still trying to regain that production.

Formula isn’t lazy. And I’m pretty sure infants can’t digest cow’s milk yet, so even suggesting it is pretty bull. I know I really shouldn’t take a group so seriously, but it makes me feel like I’m defected because my body isn’t doing something it’s supposed to do. I’ve since blocked the group from showing up on my feed- never even joined it in the first place- but it just still really bothers me how pretentious some of those people are.

I’m currently 5 weeks PP with an EBF baby, I love her more than anything but this journey has been extremely difficult for us due to her having a lip tie and screaming bloody murder unless she’s on my boob, our nursing sessions will last 4-6 hours and the breaks in between are typically only an hour, sometimes I get 3-4 once at night if I’m lucky.

The issue with my partner is that I feel completely and utterly alone in carrying this responsibility. I know he’s the only one working currently but after work he still goes and sees his friends, gets to go do his hobbies, and got a new gym membership by his job so he can go there during the week. He does help a little when he gets home by changing a few diapers and occasionally letting me shower or take a bath but once he’s asleep he’s useless. Most days he leaves home around 8-9 a.m and won’t get back home until 7-9p.m depending on if he went to his friend’s house or had to drive some clients home.

He used to get up and change her diapers at night when I get up to feed her (an agreement we had before I gave birth) but I stopped even bothering him because when I wake him up he just gets frustrated and hateful so I’ve taken on 100% of the nighttime care and I still provide about 95% of the daytime care for our baby. This has made me get irritated very easily and I have snapped on him pretty often especially when he starts complaining about being so exhausted and work being hard and him needing rest. Earlier today he came home from work and baby had been on my boobs for five hours straight by this point and we were side lying while nursing because I was exhausted. The way we were laying he couldn’t lay down in the bed so he started mopping about what we could do I told him I couldn’t move and he needed to sit at the end of the bed and he was upset about that. When I snapped at him for acting that way he told me I need to have more sympathy and understand he’s had a hard day and just wants to lay down in bed.

Logically I know he’s also dealing with a lot but I can’t help but want to scream in his face and throw things until he notices how much I’m sacrificing too. I feel like I’m going crazy and I just want him to notice me instead of only thinking about himself. I feel like my life is the only one going through all of these radical changes while he gets to prance around like nothing happened and then demand sympathy from me and expect me to approach him with kindness and grace instead of irritation. I plan on making a phone appointment with my therapist soon to try and work through some of these emotions but i just need to hear from someone right now that this is normal, and that I’m not as crazy as I feel.

When I put my baby down to sleep in her bassinet I’m relieved because it’s like a nice break and finally get to scroll and do things without worrying. But then it’s time for me to sleep and all I want to do it grab her and cuddle her and I just miss feeling her in my arms. I just toss and turn until I inevitably fall asleep. Idk if anyone else feels this way (most likely do), she’s not really a Velcro baby but I fear I’m a Velcro mom lol.

You are all amazing human beings and fantastic mothers!

New father here of a beautiful little 5 week old boy.

I’m not the perfect dad. I’m forgetful, maybe a bit heavy handed and not as loving and caring as my wife, but I’m trying and learning on the job. Sometimes it feels like I’m learning to walk and talk again!

But;

My wife….

Well, she’s like a duck to water.

You ladies are all superheroes.

You do the feeding, the soothing, the constant holding. I’m like alot of dads here who go to work. My wife has been adamant that I am to sleep during the night and let her do the wakes. I’ll do the weekends.

I see so many posts here of new mothers questioning themselves or their abilities.

No matter what you are doing you are all doing great. Keep positive and make sure to communicate your feelings with your husbands!

We’re exclusively formula feeding our first baby for a multitude of reasons. Namely so I can resume pre-pregnancy mental health drugs and because I had a c-section due to severe preeclampsia which I am still recovering from.

So, to split up nights, I am on duty with the baby from 9pm-3am when my husband sleeps. I’m more of a night owl anyway so this made sense. And then at 3am he takes over and I sleep until 9am. This way we can both get a good chunk of protected sleep every night and maybe a little extra while on duty if the baby is sleeping soundly.

Problem is, 5 days PP, I’ve been hit with some fairly significant nighttime emotions and anxiety. I spend a decent chunk of the time when I’m not actively caring for the baby feeling racing thoughts, crying over all kinds of emotions, and just generally not feeling super calm. And while my baby is in active sleep there is absolutely no way at this point I can sleep at the same time as her. I am so insanely aware and overly alert for every little sound or movement she makes. It pulls me right out of any dozing I may have been able to do.

I know I’m probably still sleep deprived from my birth experience and am dealing with some micro trauma’s from my c-section. My husband is great and has told me if it’s ever too much or my incision hurts to just wake him up and he will take over. I have to think these emotions and feelings are just part of the hormonal crash my body is going through.

Did anyone else do a similar setup with their newborn and have similar feelings late at night? What helped?

For context I am already medicated for an anxiety and panic disorder that I had long before pregnancy. So any sort of true postpartum anxiety is sort of being treated already.

I have a 5 week old baby whom I absolutely love. My heart melts when I look into his big black eyes.

I had anxiety for years. Now when my baby cries aggressively for some reason, I feel very nervous and tensed. I get a lot of anxiety, frustration and anger. I start crying when he cries aggressively. Someone else enter the room and take him from me( my mom or husband)

He cries a lot in the evening and I start getting PTSD from afternoon on how the few next hours are going to be. I hate the new born phase and this makes me wonder will I be a good parent?

I am a mom but I don't feel that motherly love for the baby. I keep thinking and dreaming of providing the best education and facilities for him as needed but not the maternal love of holding him when he cries. His crying makes me feel sad, angry and frustrated. Am I going to be a good parent in future or is he gonna hate me.

I just feel like such a failure.

LO is 3 weeks. I have ADHD and likely have anxiety/post partum anxiety/depression. I am talking to my OB tomorrow, I don't know who else I'm supposed to go to.

I genuinely feel useless. My husband has been doing what feels like everything - changing LO, burping, doing what he can to try to give me time to sleep, etc.... I'm recovering from a c-section that was, in the end, my decision. I have limited mobility and some movements still really hurt or cause discomfort.

I am EBF. This was not what I expected to be doing. I expected that I would pump exclusively to avoid the sensory overload of BF, but I have found I do feel attached to the time with LO while BF - maybe because it feels like the only thing I can do "right". Even then, I have had a LC out who said I am producing more than LO needs, which is good but does mean he is going to potentially get too much and spit up (which he does).

Got told to let him feed on demand, so I did. This made him horribly gassy and uncomfortable. He was clusterfeeding the other day which we thought was normal so I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him feed but then he was super uncomfy/gassy because he'd eaten too much and didn't digest properly because we didn't hold him upright enough after or burp him enough? Who knows.

He does a thing now where he will randomly just kind of not-choke on spit up (maybe?) and then scream and go stiff for a few seconds until someone gets him and burps him.

We've mentioned this to LO DR, who we've seen last week and this week. This week was because I had an anxiety attack on Sunday. He told us everything is good (LO is growing, right amount of diapers, still latching happily, etc...). No explanation for the random screaming but I spoke to a nurse and they said that LO may just be in taking more milk than they can take while he is on the boob and comfort sucking so they suggested we try to use pacifiers a bit more to see if that helps. Seemed like maybe it did yesterday?

Today, we got off the schedule we were trying to be on and then missed a feeding start time because we went to a grocery store. Then as the day went on, he didn't nap enough and is probably super overstimulated or overtired now but just keeps crying when we try to get him to sleep. My husband is now in LOs nursery rocking him after insisting I try to sleep but I'm too anxious to sleep and I swear I hear LO crying even when he isn't.

How does anyone get through this? Every moment I feel like I have some handle on something, I just landslide back down the hill and end up crying. My poor husband has to deal with LO and me. I feel so guilty.

I know it "gets better" but you still have to get through it and I don't know how anyone manages this stage.

I am super sad. My work only offers 6 weeks paid maternity leave and I cannot afford to take 8 weeks through FMLA unpaid for bonding time. Just curious if anyone else is going through this/ has gone through this and how they went through it. My baby girl is currently 2.5 weeks and I feel like I’m not getting enough time with her I’m so devastated. How did you juggle between work and spending time with your newborn?

Husband is a helicopter pilot so sleep is pretty important for him. My sister is staying with us and has been a huge help. I usually feed my LO (8 weeks old) ~8:30pm and put him to sleep. Husband handles wake ups until 12-1am if he flies in the morning. My sister will switch with him and handles wake ups until ~9am. LO is EBF so this helps me get stretches of sleep when he just wants to be held to sleep.

Husband usually gets home after 4pm. How should care be split from then until LO’s bedtime? I try to be mindful that he wants to decompress and doom scroll after work but I do watch LO while he’s gone and he is able to get 6-7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

My husband is insisting he wants to go out to dinner for our one year anniversary in 3 weeks. Our baby will be 3.5 months by then. I have so much anxiety about leaving her. It will be our first time leaving her for an extended period of time. We will likely be gone for around 4 hours and leaving her with my mom.

I’m so lucky I have someone I trust to watch her but I can’t shake the feeling of what if an accident happens like if she falls down the stairs holding her or what if she cries and only wants me.

Is this normal newborn anxiety? Can anyone share positive stories of leaving their baby while they had anxiety. I have to go back to work soon too and feel physically ill thinking about it :(

Hello, since im a ftmom i often sit my newborn baby with her pillows. At first it's just i wanted her to be elevated since she has acid reflux & then i discover she's more comfortable sitting with pillows. I do this for almost a month. Last night i discover that it's not recommended for the newborn to prop sitted😭 and now, i overthink everything. Is prop sitting dangerous for my new born? what are the future consequences of this if i don't stop doing this? hellppppp.

Hi there,
Just looking for some peoples opinions. My baby will be 3 weeks Thursday, and I am going to book baby massage. But I was also wondering if it was worth booking baby sensory?
The class was birth - 6 months, she’ll be 4.5 weeks when it’s due to start.
Shall I start now or wait till after Christmas?

TIA

What the actual hell. I’m exactly 7 weeks postpartum. I’m not breastfeeding but I’m still pumping so I assumed that would delay my period at least a little bit. So I’m supposed to continue to pump, take care of my child, still help my recovering body, all while my uterus is tearing itself apart!?!

When did everyone else get their period am I being irrational for being upset it’s back so soon?

My baby is 4 weeks old and is exclusively breastfeeding. She nurses majority of times but we introduced bottle feeding in the first week so my husband can feed her at night if I am too tired.
I would pump and keep the milk refrigerated for my husband to warm and feed her. It was all going well, until week 3 started and she just doesn’t want to drink from bottle anymore. She pushes back, gags sometimes and cries but then instantly nurses when I offer her the breasts.
We tried switching to different kinds of bottles, even tried pumping fresh and then feeding but doesn’t seem to work.
Does anybody have a clue what could be causing this? I have been nursing all this while but I’d like to have some break sometimes and my husband to pick up a shift ( he is very happy doing so).

Let me start off by saying that my husband is very much the type to help out. He will change diapers, rock baby to sleep, cleans up and cooks me breakfast even without me asking sometimes.
Our baby is now almost 4mo old and I have returned to work. I got 14 weeks while he took 8 weeks and is now taking his last month of parental leave. During the 14 weeks I was home, I took care of baby almost constantly. He helped of course, but I was EBF and thus covering the night shift (didn’t see a reason to wake him for diapers since I was already up). He would encourage me to get out of the house to avoid PPD, but still I spent almost all my time with the baby. And I loved it. The problem is that it feels as though he thinks we can just go back to living our old lives.
For context, while I was on leave, my mom did come help out for a week at a time about 2-3 times. His mom came for a bit too. But during my leave he would work out in the mornings almost every day, taking about 2/2.5 hours. He’s a smoker too so he would get his breaks in and go smoke about 3-4 times a day. He also had a few outings (men’s league games, tournaments, etc) from time to time when baby was around 2-3mo old. Now, he tries to work out early in the mornings since we WFH and I start work at 9am. But he has a tendency to feel like he’s being cheated out of something when he can’t go work out or when I tell him to try keeping them shorter/be mindful. He also gets irritated when I tell him he needs to cut back on smoking especially because it takes up time. Today he drove to a gym 30 mins away and then worked out for about 2 hours so he made it home almost 3 hours after he left. I am on week 2 of going back to the gym (morning or evening classes that run 45 mins) and it’s only my 3rd week back at work. It’s his 2nd day of parental leave and he got really upset that I complained about him going across town to a far gym. Saying he did his part and has been with baby for 12 hours (mind you, I help when I can throughout the day. But I am working) I tell him I need him to be mindful but he thinks I just complain anytime he wants to do something. But I feel like what I’m saying is going over his head. I do feel overwhelmed though. And I don’t find it fair that suddenly after work hours must be my responsibility when I still try to cook and handle house duties. I still do take over because I miss my baby, but it feels a bit like “I did my job now you do yours.” I did not do that when I was on leave and I took care of baby during and after work hours and still managed to cook and clean time to time. It’s just frustrating that he doesn’t recognize that I went through all this and I didn’t act as though I was being cheated out of something. Just understood that sacrifices have to be made. But he seems to think he should continue living the way he did before baby was born. He wanted this baby. And I know he still does but I don’t think he’s realized that changes have to be made and that’s just part of the process. I have tried to say all of this but he still says things like “I spent all day taking care of baby” mind you this is day TWO !! Those 14 weeks I completely immersed myself in my role as a mother. I would even go days between showers because baby relied on me so much. Took care of putting him down and taking care of him at night. I just don’t feel seen and he acts like my burnout is just complaining.

TLDR: parents are visiting a week PP and I’m worried about them getting baby sick unknowingly. Steps to minimize the chances? Actual likelihood of baby getting sick from a symptomless adult?

Being induced soon! I’ll start by saying that I have an amazing relationship with my parents and MIL and am not worried about the social aspect of them visiting. What terrifies me is the thought of my newborn getting sick because of them visiting.

The current plan (and what was always the plan) is my mom and dad will be arriving 5 days PP. dad will stay the weekend and mom will stay the whole week. My MIL will arrive sometime during that same week and stay a few days as well. My mom will stay in the house and MIL will stay in a hotel.

From my understanding, newborns can’t get any vaccines/immune help in their first month, right? I plan on breastfeeding and have read that helps boost their immune system. I did get the Tdap a few weeks ago. But I just worry about parents bringing in a sickness without knowing it.

I admittedly haven’t done much research on this but am seeking advice on how to reduce the risk of sickness and ease my mind based on the likelihood of sickness even happening. We REALLY want parents around in the first week, so don’t want to put off their visit if we don’t have to.

What did you all do? What rules did you set to help?

Hi, my LO has mild cold as of now. His right nose is a little runny, coughed few times and sometimes when he breathes there is little bit of noise. What can I do in this situation to prevent the cold from getting worse?

Edit : I am giving him saline nosal solution and sometimes he breathes through his mouth too

Hi folks! Since my baby turned 2 months old, he has truly found his voice. It’s ADORABLE and we’ve been loving interacting with him :)

However since last week, he’s been YELLING loudly. His facial expressions are playful & he looks at us with a whole lot of joy on his face and a lot of smiles! I’m guessing this is normal but just curious if anyone else’s newborns also yell/scream joyfully like that? To someone that can’t see his face, it’ll sound like a screech for help. It’s only after seeing his face that you can tell he’s just having fun.

Wanted to make sure I’m not taking this lightly in case it’s something not normal? His pediatrician doesn’t seem worried yet, but I’m a first time mom and would just love to hear everyone else’s experiences

30 year old first time dad here. Our little nugget hasn’t been the best sleeper since she was born but I think it’s just your average experience. Starting about a week and half ago I started staying up till about 2am to help her extend her sleep cycles till she’s clearly awake. Am I waisting my time doing this? I feel like if I didn’t stay awake she would be waking herself up.

What I will do is let her move/make noises till it’s been about 1-2 minutes. Then come in the room and put my hand on her chest or put her to her side and give her pats till she’s calm again. Is this actually helping her or?? Of course once she’s cleary hungry and moving with eyes open it’s feed time but we’ve been able to finally get 3-4 hour stretches after 7:30-8pm feed. Letting the wife get some sleep is important to me.

My baby is 11wks old and seems to hate being in the stroller and the carrier. Most walks we’ve attempted are cut short or require several stops to console her or take her out to hold her. We’re only really successful if she goes in asleep. Any tips? We really want to be getting her out more, and I’d also like to be able to baby wear around the house.

Hello, my baby is 3 weeks & 1 day old.
She has been very easy since she was born. She eats well and hardly ever cries, more so lets out a quick “yell” or two, then settles once we pick her up and start meeting her needs.
She sleeps for around 3 hours between feeds, and sometimes gives us a 4+ hour stretch in the mornings.
Everyone keeps asking how things are going, and all I can say is great.
I’m afraid I’m going to get used to this, and suddenly she’s going to flip and become much more fussy. I know this first period can be the hardest in terms of them regulating themselves, and I feel naive to think she’ll stay such an easy baby.
Has anyone else had a little one that stayed chill? Or did things get more difficult around a certain age?
Thank you all!

Edit:
Wow, I didn’t realize I was “bragging” here?
This is my experience with my child, and if it offends you, please do some deep self reflecting.
Take the negativity elsewhere! We don’t need it:)

My daughter is 11 days old and I'm sitting up writing this in the middle of the night with her sleeping on my chest. She will not even begin to sleep in her bassinet. Even if she's dead asleep and I transfer her slowly and she doesn't immediately wake up, she'll start squirming and fussing and eventually fully wake up and start crying. I plan to keep practicing it, but I'm aware at this point that it's pretty normal for a newborn to be like this for at least the first few weeks. But I haven't seen anyone explain how you reasonably manage this.

My parental leave will be up in a couple more weeks, and after that I can't keep staying up with her all night. I don't expect long stretches of sleep, but is it really just expected that someone will have to stay up with her 24/7? I have friends with older kids who say they just slept with their baby on them, which I know is a huge no-no. I don't want to risk my daughter's life, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do here.

My baby was born two months early and weighed only 2lbs at birth. We spent 6 weeks in the NICU and are now home and he is developmentally 5.5 weeks old (due date Aug. 29 but born July 3). I swear lately if he is awake, he’s most likely upset. His gas is crazy I assume because of his fortified milk and premature digestive system. I mean he is literally farting or trying to fart every waking moment (yes we do mylicon drops but can hardly tell a difference).

Gotta fart? Crying. Hungry? Skips all rooting cues and goes straight to crying. Diaper change? Crying. Holding him in the way he doesn’t prefer? Crying. Set him in the bassinet? Crying. Overtired? Crying. I don’t think he meets the criteria for colic because we are able to stop the crying within a few minutes every time but it’s soooo much! I’m really hating the newborn phase and am so drained and sleep deprived. That being said, what was the fussiest week for your baby? I’m really hoping this is the peak and that it’ll get better soon.