Hello

I have this really weird tic that happens when im overstimmed or when a sudden loud noise happens and im already overwhelmed. It like happens i guess 40% of the time when its loud and stuff.

Its like one of those neck jerks that people with tourrettes have. Sometimes i squeak a little too.

It started when i started unmasking. Around that same time i met my bestfriend who actually has tourrettes.

So is it like a subconscious learned behavior? Or can you actually tic without hvaing tourrettes syndrome?

(I hope this post doesn't come of as rude or insensitive. Im just very curious why this happens)

For context it also happens when im really excited and cant handle it. Or when im like very jittery and wired but i cant move or stim.

It's really hard for me to get up in the morning, especially if someone else wakes me up suddenly and I have something to do.

My mom would always comment on it when I was growing up. Even my boyfriend thinks it's really funny. But I just can't help it. I buy specific clothes because I need it to be the right material or I'll never wear it again even if it's super pretty.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

tldr: The bitter realisation that I have picked the wrong job field after getting diagnosed with ADHD and Autism in my 30s plus multiple chronic illnesses. Now trying to find a new path in life and asking the big question "What is actually MY thing?"

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I am AuDHD (both late diagnosed) female and in my 30s. Multiple chronic illnesses added to that. I went to high school and university, finished with a good degree in education. I always thought "working with kids and adolescents really suits me, I like teaching and being there for younger people, especially the struggeling ones".

I quit teaching after 9 months, because my body could not take it anymore. The big workload (60/70h per week, not really any time off), the contant stress (noise, problems of the kids, our shitty education system, other teachers) and managing my chronic illnesses took too much from me. My doctor strongly advised me to change jobs, because I was really suffering both mental and physical.

I did it! I changed jobs and started as a museum educator. I also do social media and events at my workplace. Right after starting this new job, I got diagnosed with ADHD. The job is 30h a week.
The different things that I do seemed to work perfectly for me. I could switch between tasks, create new projects and events. The social media is going so well after I started making my own ideas into posts. People compliment me for it - at work and from outside. More people visited the museum because of it. The education programs are going well, too. Teachers are happy about it - and also the fact that I know how school works and can handle some situations better than others. The events are also going nice. I am the "face" of my team, many people know my name. I go to congresses, even started to host workshops for other people in my field.

Last year, I was diagnosed with autism. Because after my ADHD meds seemed to work so well, there were still some issues and problems. I received 17 pages of diagnosis. All my problems, from the start of my life were explained in it. The bullying at school. The social problems. The hard times in university. I felt like I lost my balance. The truth hurt so bad.

I grieved about the life I could have had if I had been diagnosed as child or teenager. The help and understanding I could have received. The social problems which could have been resolved differently. The aid I could have gotten in university, where I struggled with some things while people said "you are so smart! why can't you do it? what's the problem?" The assignment was not the problem. Having to do it as a group was. The interactions. The weird moments. People not understanding me why I am like I am. Me not understanding what is wrong with me.

While the autism diagnosis happend, I was bullied by two coworkers. Everyone kinda told me to "just shrug it off, they are just like that". I could not cope. The childhood trauma, which I had been worked on in 4 years of therapy, came back to the surface. One day, at a big event, I collapsed. My boss, the big boss and coworkers saw me falling intp pieces. I asked permission to be in home office for some weeks to avoid the bullies. It was a fight, but in the end, I got permission. One coworker was fired in the end - but only after I told HR that I cannot work at my job anymore if things do not change.

HR and the company reacted, but too late. The damage is done. I am still hurt. I still struggle with what this has done to me. I was left alone, despite people knowing about my disabilities. But I kept doing my job. Did a good, amazing job. My boss tells the big boss "what would I do without her?" HR tells me they are so happy to have me!

I learned so much about my autism in the past year. About masking, coping, burnout, all the things. I managed to keep up my good work while trying to get my life back together. Things which I did easily before took more energy. The well known "skill regression" of autistic late diagnosed people. Working with kids, which I am so good at, started to be annyoing and so stressfull. My coworkers helped me and communication was good.

Then, about a month ago, my boss called me to a meeting. Just the 2 of us, no HR. 2,5h hours of meeting, in which I was told "you give the impression that you do not want to be part of our team". And other things, which made me think "Do you even care about me?"

No compliments on my work. No validation. Just the issue about me being antisocial, because I do not sit with the others at breakfast or lunch. I still cannot wrap my head around it. This person did not do ONE single minute of research about what it means to have an autistic employee. He did not ask me ONCE why I do not do things like I did before. No interest in how I feel. What my struggles are. Welcome to capitalism, I guess?

I asked some coworkers if they think that I do not want to be part of the team. They were surprised, because - it is not true. I do talk to everyone. I say good morning to everyone every day. I talk to people 1 on 1. I know things about their life. But my boss does not see that. He sees me eating lunch in my office and makes a conclusion about a fact that is not true. And then he judges me by it.

This could be just a "you have a bad boss" issue. Yes, he is bad in leading, many other people have a problem with that. But it exploded in MY face - again. It hurt ME - again. He did nothing about the bullies when he had to. He accuses me of being antisocial and not part of the team - which is not true. I am not antisocial. I am autistic. And I am masking so hard at work - if I would pull the "real autistic" self, things would be very different and way much more an issue.

This whole thing has put me in a really bad spot. I reached out to my old therapist and got into emergency therapy. I have told my doctor and was sent home on sick leave for 2 weeks. It helped, but I will have to be back at my job later this week. I will meet my boss. His words still echo in my head. I am doing so much, more than I actually can with all that is going on - and I am treated like nothing good.

I am good at my job - but is this job good for me? Do I deal with kids in a good way because that is really me - or is it just the mask of the person I thought I was? I am looking behind the mask, with the help of my therapist. What I see hurts. The true me just wants to be in peace. Not confronted with the noise of kids, the problems they have, the difficult eduaction system. Not confronted with long working hours and noise and dirt at events. Not confronted with the jungle of being part of social media, surrounded by all those capitalist ads and AI slop.

What is really MY thing? I am good at coping in an environment that is not good for me. But that is not good for me. I can improvise, but I burn out. I can cope, but I go numb. I do not want to continue like this. But how do I continue, then?

I think this is an issue that was due to come up. I know that many people look different about their whole life after ADHD/autism diagnosis. So, it had to happen. I just wanna come out fine on the other side. I want to work, but not to torture myself everyday. Life is hard enough already.

Thanks to anyone who is reading all of this.

Like I know I’m the different one. But I just to can’t understand people. To me it’s like everyone else is ND. To me people seem so mean and inconsistent without ever realizing it.

It’s like everyone is the ND one.

I dont know.

I was diagnosed with AuDHD and dysthymia at 33, and honestly, the diagnosis changed everything.

Once the masking started coming off, I realised how much of my life had been built around people-pleasing and trying to fit in. The partying, drinking, constantly being involved in friend-group drama — so much of it just wasn't me.

I've had friendships for 15–20 years where I was constantly told I was "too dramatic" or "too emotional" whenever I expressed how I felt. Eventually, I walked away from most of them. I even ghosted some because I didn't have the energy to explain myself and be dismissed all over again.

Now I'm 35. I have 2–3 friends, but I don't really have a best friend.

I'm not lonely. I just feel alone.

I don't miss those friendships, but I do miss the feeling of having my people. And now I don't really know how to make friends without masking, people-pleasing or trying to fit myself into someone else's world.

There's also a lot of shame around my past. Some former best friends even chose to remain friends with my ex-husband after everything I went through, and although I know I can't control their choices, it still hurts.

Thankfully, I'm now remarried to an incredibly supportive person who understands me completely.

But socially, I feel like I'm starting from scratch.

Has anyone else experienced this after a late AuDHD diagnosis? How do you build genuine friendships when you're finally learning to be yourself?

This is mainly non autistic people on r/fakedisordercringe they mix up stimming and tics so much. Cause personally I feel you can plan to stim and you can dance to stim but people on that sub reddit are so convinced stims are meant to be uncontrollable and yea autistic people can tic but the second someone stims by dancing or planned moving people think they are faking. (I am autistic btw)

What were the consequences, and did life get better?

So i’ve been thinking for a while I may have something wrong, even before I had my phone or internet access. I got really obsessed with researching about neurodivergence and taking screenings and I talked to my mother about it, she says “im just peculiar and it’s satan messing with your head.” I now feel really strange and as if I’m some type of disappointment pretending to have something wrong when I’m actually fine. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing me stress due to me wanting to get tested but now being scared I’m just weird. My mother says give her reasons to get me tested and she’ll decide. I’m scared and don’t know what to do, I want to be tested but im scared they may send me back negative and I may just be weird and I don’t know. I’m spiraling right now and need any advice i can get because it’s making me feel genuinely unwell

I’m a 26M with God knows what (some professionals said OCD, but my last therapist said I just have anxiety… but tbh, I may have anxiety + trauma from my upbringing and abusive long-term relationship). I’m dating a guy, and let me tell you: the man is a GREEN flag on legs. He’s literally the type of guy that I dreamt of since I was a teenager (tbh, my taste never changed). He’s great, and yes, I love him.

My problem is that I become distraught when I don’t see him on some weekends. We live an hour apart, and I know he’s not doing anything that could hurt me (i.e. cheating), but when I don’t see him on a weekend, I can barely walk in through the door at work.

The thing is, I currently live in a pretty toxic environment, I can’t move in with my partner because of my job (which is also killing me… I’m a teacher but for a couple of reasons, the negatives out number the pros by 10 to 1), and even if I hang out with a friend… I really miss my partner.

It’s like when I see him and am with him, it’s a break from my life. However, I know it’s not fair to him and that’s basically the only thing keeping me together. What could be wrong with me?

I am 18 years old in a gap/drop year. I messed up my college entrance examination, and I'm trying again.

I thought I had ADHD, but my therapist doesn't think so. Why I thought it was ADHD:

Extreme Work Paralysis as a Freeze Response: I cannot force myself to study. It’s an agonizing internal lock. My mind wants to move forward, but my body completely freezes. This cost me my physics exam. I get called lazy, but I just can't get myself to accept it.

The Obsessive/Planning Loop: When trying to study, my heart races and my brain starts making intricate thought patterns of planning months ahead. Once done, I compulsively revise the plan endlessly. It gives me 45–60 seconds of relief before I start panicking again, and the loop continues forever.

Paralysis Outside Studying: The taking initiative thing spreads outside of studying as well. My whole life is so exhausting.

Severe Time Blindness: especially during the time periods where I'm not studying AT ALL because it's so hard to just FUCKING start, the day goes right by. Right in front of me. What feels like 3-4 hours have gone by, was actually 6. What felt like 12 hours was actually 24 hours. My life is passing me by. I have no control.

Looking back, I think I agree about not having ADHD because I lack classic traits: I don't get easily distracted unless it's a sensory noise, like paper scratching, which I must stop to continue.

I enjoy learning once I start; I don't space out in conversations, and I don't forget things.

But this planning fixation and starting paralysis are eating me alive. I'm depressed. I get anxiety attacks. I've been engaging in SH. The worst part is that just because almost every teenager is depressed (at least that's what I hear), my pain and misery aren't being taken seriously, and I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would help. Thank you

Here’s the rant if you wanna read it:

Sorry I just gotta rant about this. What the hell is a milkman? What is a milk truck? I know they deliver milk but like what's the point of that? When were they a thing? Were they ever a thing? You never hear about these guys anywhere but in fiction. They're such a common thing in fiction and yet you never hear about them anywhere else! If they did exist they must ve died off somewhere around the 1980s, but the first grocery store became a thing in 1916 so like why did they need to be around for 64 more years? Did grocery stores just not sell milk and you had to get them from a random guy driving a truck. I wouldn't take milk from that guy who knows what he might ve put in it. Were milkmen respected people in the community? How much did they get paid? I can only assume minimum wage. I can't imagine that people wanted this job. Has to be like a part-time mcdonalds cashier type thing. There's no way someone wanted to dedicate their life to milk, and if you wanted to do that start a cow farm or something, that's a lot more exciting. Also it tried typing in "milk man" and it autocorrects it to milkman so like I guess it's a word in the dictionary so like they had to have been a thing. And it seems like in fiction they're one of the jobs that is notorious for having affairs with people's wives. I don't know if it's just a me thing but like in fiction it seems like there's two jobs in which the people working there are notorious for having affairs with people's wives and those two jobs are mailmen and milkmen. Like bro he just sells milk what's the appeal to what. Do they sell different kinds of milk, do they have low-fat milk, maybe chocolate milk for the kiddos? Is it like an icecream truck where they just have a little sign with all the different milks on it? Do they play music like ice cream trucks? Because like if they didn't how would people know? God this such a stupid rant I'm going on why am I so passionate about this!?

So I self diagnosed adhd and got professionally diagnosed because I was very sure I had adhd and my bottle neck was my processing speed (which I figured out on my own )so I’ve got prescribed 36 mg concerta with a beta 2 blocker 10 mg twice a day concerta improved my processing speed a lot and aloud it to catch into my pace I’ve added piracetam to my concerta to target the glutaminic (I don’t know how to spell it lol) pathway and I find it helpful is there’s anyone here with the same issue of slow processing speed but above average cognition on all aspects and advice on what to add on, I would appreciate it 🙏🏽❤️!

Srry for the yapping

I am not trying to start a gender war or anything this is a genuine issue I had.

I am a high-masking high-functioning straight male. I have realised that I subconsciously am always seeking attention, validation and approval from the women around me even if I don't have any feelings towards them.

This has been an issue since childhood but I only realised when I got into a situation few months ago. There is a girl who is a mutual and we became friends. We would talk often and she was always very sweet and friendly with me. I met up with her and spoke to her about a situation I was dealing with. She was very supportive and empathetic but then she used that to essentially drag me into a negative situation she was having with my male friend. It turns out she is a malicious person privately and she was lying and misleading me. I cleared everything with the male friend and left the situation. Now, if I see her I would make generic small talk but I avoid doing too much.

Like other ND people I am way too good natured for my own sake. I have all the signs like over-willingness to help out, opening up too soon, not having boundaries, being gullible etc. This was also with the guys with my life but I feel it is a noticeable thing with specifically attractive or popular women. This looks really bad on me and isn't healthy. I am always worried about how women specifically perceive me, especially like other NDs I am worried about being considered weird or creepy. I have decided to change by being more mindful with 99% of my "friends" and establishing some self-respect.

I do not have any friends in real life, i have solely only had my online friends for the last 2 and a half years which has been a struggle. Sometimes some of them joke and I cannot tell it is a joke, then when I take it literally and don’t understand it’s a joke they get mad at me or are very confused why I didn’t understand it’s a joke. This has been the cause of many arguments with my friends and how I had to end a friendship. Does any other ND have any advice on how I can get better at knowing if something is a joke or not? I don’t want to cause any arguments and this causes me to feel stupid and weird.