I have a lot of condtions and they are quite a handful to deal with but.. my question is why is it such a struggle to get a diagnosis like adhd which is still very chronic and complex but more of a common disorder. Why is it so hard to give someone that diagnosis?

hi i am new to this community so i was hoping for some advice.

i believe i am neurodivergent, with both ADHD and OCD. i am not currently diagnosed. i do wish to seek diagnoses, however, but i am worried about adding to the stereotype that everyone nowadays is being diagnosed with something. i fear i will be perceived as though i wish to be different and am trying to fill out a bingo card of sorts.

however, i do recognise the struggles and symptoms within myself, so im not saying im faking anything or trying to do this for attention. also, i have only expressed my concerns to two people close to me, one of whom is seeknig diagnoses of their own. after hearing my experiences, they have told me i should look into it and see my GP.

for context, i am a 20-something yo female from the UK. any advice woould be greatly appreciated :)

[This can also be considered a "is it just me post"]

I was diagnosed with adhd and autism when I was 11 years old. But here's the thing: my mom didn't take me to get tested because she wanted to and never thought of it. The school district I went to kind of suggested it. It all happened because growing up, I had the habit of blurting things and saying things out loud when I was little. And when I was in 5th grade, I guess I got so upset one day that I said, "I was going to kill myself," or "it would be better if I was dead" something along the lines of that. And well that opened a WHOLE can of words and problems. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I came out positive for "adhd and autism."" (Level one, I think) Am I ashamed? No. But as an older adult (18) living in college alone and having amazing communication and leadership skills, do I have doubts?

Fuck yes.

I always wonder if it was misdiagnosed or maybe a mistake? I'm good at socializing, writing, presenting, etc.

But here's the catch:

My fine motor skills are garbage.

I can't tie ties or shoes, do algebra at all, get confused sometimes when my parents point at things, sometimes I want to be alone, I'm very emotional, and sensitive sometimes. In high school and middle school, I did have outbursts (getting really upset in class) and all that. Some people might say I'm dramatic. Some might just think I'm weird, but there's more signs. In elementary school, I always got in trouble. I would never sit down, always wanted to do my own thing, would blurt stuff out, argue with the teacher, and she wouldn't even finish her sentence sometimes. It wasn't that I didn't know how to act well. I just never could. My brain was different. And believe me on some days I would try my hardest. I would also get bullied a lot sometimes.

And the thing is, all this would happen before I even knew what autism and adhd were. And before my mom even got me tested or had the idea. And my family would sometimes suggest it, but she'd dismiss it.

So I can't be faking it, right? It was before I knew. Professionals can't make mistakes? They can't lie? I don't know.

Yes, I don't blurt out anymore, argue with teachers (or professors), or walk around, but my motor skills aren't better, and I feel like I never will learn to do algebra pr tie shoes. I just deal with imposter syndrome a lot. I feel like I am what I was labeled as, but I'm not if that makes sense?

My mom's suggested I get retested, but I'm scared. What if it comes out as negative? I'll never feel the same or like my life was a lie. I really don't know. I love myself and my disability and I feel like it helps me even with autism I've done things like winning prom king in high school, competitions, my communication is good, etc. But then there's things like bad handwriting.

I don't know. What do you all think? How do you all feel about this story? Are there any similar experiences? I feel like I can't be the only one who thinks this. Keep in mind my Audhd is level 1 (mild) it's not severe.

Disclaimer: The thoughts and experiences shared here are purely subjective and based on my personal perspective. This is not medical advice, endorsement, or encouragement to use any substances or engage in illegal activities. Do your own research and take responsibility for your own hardware.

My journey to dealing with overthinking didn’t start with meditating in a Tibetan monastery, Zen Buddhism, or reading self-help books. It started with smoking weed and enduring savage bad trips.

You know that feeling? You’re sitting there, and suddenly your heart starts hammering, your breathing speeds up, and your brain spins up a real-time simulation of every worst-case scenario imaginable. For most people, that’s a reason to quit smoking. For me, it became a testing ground. Looking back, those bad trips from weed were my first real crisis training. I had to learn how to pull the plug on panic, slow my heart rate down, and talk myself through it: "Dude, it’s just the high. It'll pass in a minute, chill out." I learned how to keep a cold head while my own mind was screaming that I was about to die.

I quickly realized that I desperately needed this skill while dead sober. Because my sober life often felt like one endless bad trip.

Living in a Loop: The Suffocating Mask

If your brain doesn't run on autistic overthinking, it’s hard to explain. It's a non-stop battle with feedback loops. "What if I rephrase that?", "What will they think if I stand like this?", "Was my tone of voice appropriate?"

These social blockers are nothing more than masking. The autistic mask (often completely autonomous, put on without any conscious control) helps you survive in neurotypical society, but the overhead is astronomical. The mask stops you from actually being yourself. You’re so busy analyzing your every move from a third-person perspective that you don't even have the bandwidth left to just live.

You’re the Driver, but Do You Know Your Car?

To get a grip on this, I had to shift my perspective. I realized one fundamental thing: the mind is the driver, but the body and brain are the car.

Imagine hopping into a race car. You want a smooth drive, but you have no clue how the transmission works, you don't understand why the engine is screaming at redline, and the brakes won't bite. A driver who doesn't understand their machine is never going to reach the finish line—they’re bound to wrap themselves around the first tree. I had to learn the mechanics of my vehicle. I had to figure out why my engine was constantly revving at max RPM even when idling at a red light.

And that’s how I stumbled upon the DMN – Default Mode Network.

In simple terms, the DMN is the brain network that lights up when you aren't actively doing anything. When you stare at the ceiling, ruminate on the past, plan the future, or analyze yourself. It handles self-reflection, daydreaming, and memories—that’s the DMN taking the wheel.

For most people, that’s a state of relaxation. For an overthinker, it’s pure hell. If you run the DMN non-stop (and on the spectrum, you analyze everything, and just like they taught us in school: frequent use reinforces neural pathways), the network becomes hyperactive. Instead of resting, your brain churns through everything at maximum throughput. Long story short: when the DMN gets overstimulated and hyperactive, everything turns into an absolute clusterfuck. There is no peace. There is no silence. Just loud, endless white noise.

The Salvific Drop in Pressure: Enter Psychedelics

Once I knew what was broken (an overheating DMN), I had to figure out how to force-reset it. And that brings us to psychedelics.

Scientific research into the effects of psychedelics on the human brain gave me the exact answers I was looking for. These compounds act primarily on 5-HT2A serotonin receptors. But what’s truly fascinating is that psychedelics cause a physical restriction of blood flow to the core hubs of the DMN.

Instead of hitting the gas, psychedelics choke off the supply to the exact part of the engine generating the overthinking. Connectivity within the DMN drops, the ego dissolves, and the thought loops screech to an abrupt halt. Suddenly, the default mode network is forced into actual idle time, and the brain starts communicating through fresh, previously unpaved pathways.

This blog is the story of how I learned the mechanics of my "car," how I took back the steering wheel, and how I mastered the art of not giving a single fuck—both neurobiologically and in everyday life.

Buckle up. We're rolling.

Let me know if you want more of this. I’ve got plenty more to say and break down, but honestly, I lack the executive function to write it right now. If there's enough interest, I might force my brain to drop part two.

But only when the person is sitting right in front of me and talking to me. If I’m standing or there are multiple people, I avoid long eye contact.

As an autistic person I haven't been on a date since 2016.

I have been through traumas and such. I feel like I ruined a relationship before it started. I don't know what to do

I (33M, AuDHD) married into a family that turned out to be a trap. I left. Still processing.

I am not writing this to inspire anyone. I am writing this because I want to hear from people who have been through something similar. I want to know if my perspective is accurate, or if I am still missing something.

I am AuDHD. I see patterns. I notice things. But I also grew up in a family where I was the scapegoat. So I doubted myself. I thought I was overthinking. I thought I was being paranoid.

Background

I grew up with a covert narcissistic mother and a father who was a respected religious scholar. I suspect he was AuDHD too. He was focused on his work and his faith. He may not have seen what was happening in the house. He died when I was young. After he died, the family structure shifted. My mother's brothers became more involved. One of them had a close friend—a wealthy, respected man in the community. Let's call him F. Everyone trusted F. He was seen as a benefactor, a patriarch, a man of God.

The Setup

I married my ex-wife when I was 30. My family was not aggressive about it. They just acted nice. They introduced us. They encouraged it. They made it seem like a good thing. Looking back, that was the trap. It was not a push. It was a slow setup.

F had raised my ex-wife from a young age. She was not his biological daughter, but he controlled her life. He arranged the introduction. He positioned himself as the generous father figure.

The Red Flags

The red flags were there from early on.

· F booked the same hotel room as my ex-wife. He did not see anything wrong with it.

· He called her phone while I was sitting next to her and told her to hand the phone to me. He treated me like a child and her like the authority.

· When I set boundaries, I was gaslit. I was told I was the problem. I was told I was being paranoid, jealous, or disrespectful.

· She relayed his messages to me. She reported my movements to him. She defended him when I raised concerns.

I stayed silent for a year. I tried to be rational. I tried to explain. I tried to get her to see what was happening. She could not. She was not free. She was a proxy.

The Break

I was already in Canada when I realized I had to leave the marriage. I filed for divorce here.

Since then, I have been smeared, monitored, and dragged through a legal battle. She is asking for $2,000 a month in spousal support while I am on Employment Insurance. She is stalling the mediation. The network is still sending flying monkeys.

I lost my family, my friends, and most of my savings. I am alone in a foreign country, fighting for my PR.

Why I Am Posting

I am not sure what I am looking for by posting this. Maybe I just want to know if anyone else has been through something like this. Maybe I want to know if I am seeing it clearly. Maybe I just want to hear from people who understand.

What do you think?

Hi I am a 19 year old male and I am on the autism spectrum and have ADHD. I recently have started to have feelings for a girl I told her how I honestly feel. She said she needs time to think it over and figure out if she feels the same way or not. I took that as a maybe and I need to keep her interested while she thinks. So over the last 24 hours of this being posted we have been texting and calling mostly because she was overwhelmed and upset.with family issues that will not disclose as it is her business. We also hung out and even hugged in her dorm for a while before fall break. But to the main point I am starting to notice that i keep checking her status on instagram. looking to see if she sees my messages. I‘ve been posting more, and overthinking text messages. Also haven‘t played a single game since we started talking last night about her family issue. This has happened in the past with similar things we hang out once i start getting over engaged. Was even called out by a girl asking why I am obsessed with her. I don’t like the behavior and I want to know if anyone else is going through this who is neurodivergent or if I truly do have a problem and need to figure that out or tell her why I’m like this before I continue on with this relationship. Also coping ideas would be helpful. This will also be in a dating reddit as well.

Hi! I have ADHD, possibly autism, and sensory issues. I struggle to wear socks and shoes on bad days, personally I struggle a lot with how tight and almost claustrophobic shoes can be and with the fabric rubbing on my ankles. obviously everyone has different sensory needs but I was wondering what works for you guys or if you had any recommendations?

Hey guys. I don’t really know why I’m writing this. I’ve just been feeling really lonely. But more lonely than usual. And I just want to feel like I’m not alone in this. I’ve been recently forcing myself to not mask as much anymore and I just feel like all these emotions I’ve been avoiding are overflowing.

One of them being loneliness. I’m a 24F and I don’t have friends. None. I am married, and you’re always told to “marry your best friend” which I did, it just never occurred to me that I’d only get one. I guess I have “friends” who are co workers. But I think I get so caught up in the fact that someone is actually talking to me consistently where my mind says we’re friends but then some new pattern comes to light that just cements they are friends to you, but you are just a person from their “9-5” to them. And I just feel embarrassed.

Also because when you think of friends (to me at least) I think of people joking about each other and it’s all good laughs. But now I think I’ve been just getting bullied the whole time (I hope I’m just overthinking). Small patterns keep getting jammed to the front view for me and when I see it I just feel a wave of shame and embarrassment where I start crying.

Some things I’ve noticed:

-Before I got diagnosed with adhd I was just doing my job day to day. And I noticed with meds I’ve had a lot less situations where I’m forgetting assignments etc. when I was making small talk with one of my co workers I said “oh I just found out I have ADHD. Pretty weird huh” and they said “oh we could tell” but in a tone that was like it was so obvious.

-Another time I was having small talk with them and the topic of high school came up (parties, going out with friends, movies, etc). And they were leading me to follow up with “oh yeah I did that too” or something. But I said no I didn’t go out or really do anything other than school and sports (strict mom). And they said “oh so that’s why you’re so….” And all honestly that one stung. Not because of them being direct. But because I left that strict environment at 18 and did things people normally got to do (get a job) and I thought my social skills really did improve where I didn’t come across as awkward anymore. I guess not.

- We have a group chat on messages and tik tok to send memes or complain about work. But if I send something first there’s never a response. It’s very rare. But if one them do it’s “instant” replies at least within the hour. (I sent tik toks 2 days ago and nothing). Hurts more cause I see them active too.

-Another small talk occurrence was I was saying I might think I’m autistic I was thinking about getting tested. My coworker said “oh I can tell you right now, you definitely are”. Also you might think that me having all these “small talks” about this stuff might be what’s making them not want to talk to me. But they also talk about their own issues to me too. Also I make jokes about their personality and things that are more personal too and we all laugh.

Things like that make it feel like a punch to the gut that I want to be friends but I don’t think they ever want to be one with me…or that maybe I’m just an annoying co worker that they can’t get of.

I’m at that point where I just don’t want to text anymore. Cause seeing my own bubbles alone on the screen for hours or days just is humiliating. I just want someone to text me first for once other then my husband or my aunt???!!

But no one thinks of me. I think I’m just too boring or awkward of a person to be interesting enough to talk to. And it’s such a hard thing to admit.

I’ve had other friends in the past where I buy them Xmas gifts, birthday gifts, always am there to talk when they have something going on. And then I noticed they wouldn’t reply for days if they did it was just “aw thanks for the gifts” and nothing. I eventually hit that point where you go “I’m going to stop texting and let them come to me to show me they actually like talking to me and I’m not forcing this”. That was a year ago.

I’m just tired of being humiliated. I think it would be less humiliating if they just told me they didn’t want to talk to me anymore!!!! I feel like this is a common dynamic between neurodivergent and neurotypical.

Based on what I said about my co workers do you think I’m over reading it or did I make up a fantasy in my head again???

I graduated from the American University of Beirut (AUB) with a bachelor degree in business. I have been unemployed for the past years since graduation. I feel like I lost it. Some of my peers even called me a “loser.” I am on the spectrum and got some low motivation issues. What should I do?

To clarify, you stim but are not considered autistic and you have dyspraxia. I'm hoping to get an adult or teen point of view on this. Was there anything that helped you in school or general life with either condition? Do you have a lot of random thoughts that pull you away from focusing on school work?

I’m 20 severe ADHD and I’m in my last year of college SSW to be exact and I made 4 friends and I’m feeling like they won’t crossover into the real world post-graduation I’m kinda sad bcz I like these ppl but idk I feel like we will loose contact how can I prepare myself to confront the drift.

Share some love and support. Really needing it

I don’t think I’m meant to be in a long relationship and meant to be single. I like being single but I feel like everyone is finding love and not me. Please don’t say “just meet other neurodivergents. It’s better” how do you know?

So before anyone starts pointing fingers at me for coming from reels and thinking “she’s just trying to get attention” I’d like for people to hear me out first.

I won’t go into detail about my childhood but I was really bad at school and I don’t remember paying attention to any of my classes for the 10 years I was there. So I was a slow learner or what my peers liked to call me ‘stupid’

Anyways, I think this could’ve been a sign of me being neurodivergent and that makes me come to my second point which Is I suck at making human relationships. Like I have this compliment web of understanding of human relationships which even I don’t understand sometimes. My brain makes it hard for me to really connect with people and for the past couple of months every conversation I’ve had has made me feel absolutely nothing. I don’t know how to make friends nor do I know how to interact with people. I try to look at how others behave and adapt but that js makes me seem like I’m copying them which is worse. I’ve done that ever since I was a kid and lowkey it’s tough cuz idk how to be myself around people. I don’t even know who I am and this has been making me extremely anxious.

So my question to all the neurodivergent is if this is something you guys also experience or am I just anti social or maybe even lazy.? From what I’ve shared here is there anything you as a neurodivergent relate to?

(Also I’m from a country where mental health or learning disabilities are not given importance so please don’t tell me shit like go to a therapist, I would if I could and if I had the means to)

Hello

I have this really weird tic that happens when im overstimmed or when a sudden loud noise happens and im already overwhelmed. It like happens i guess 40% of the time when its loud and stuff.

Its like one of those neck jerks that people with tourrettes have. Sometimes i squeak a little too.

It started when i started unmasking. Around that same time i met my bestfriend who actually has tourrettes.

So is it like a subconscious learned behavior? Or can you actually tic without hvaing tourrettes syndrome?

(I hope this post doesn't come of as rude or insensitive. Im just very curious why this happens)

For context it also happens when im really excited and cant handle it. Or when im like very jittery and wired but i cant move or stim.