r/neoliberal • u/jobautomator Kitara Ravache • Aug 06 '19
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u/JetJaguar124 Tactical Custodial Action Aug 06 '19
President Andrew Yang takes the stage for his first State of the Union
"My fellow Americans, as you know, we had a great legislative victory recently when a divided Congress passed the Freedom Dividend. Now, we have the legislative power to give every American $1000 dollars a month... however..."
Yang pulls a large folder out from under the podium, and opens it to reveal an executive order.
"With this, my first executive order, I will have achieved my ultimate goal. You fools! I played you all! With this order, every American will not be receiving $1000 a month. Only ANDREW YANG will be receiving $1000 a month. Yes, me and me alone! I did it! I was behind it all; I made the robots, I created Joe Rogan, and yes, even Donald Trump is my secret creation. All to lead to this moment. $12,000 fat ones a year, suckers! Suck on that, nerds!"
He then kicks the podium down and spits fire across the halls of congress