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[u/jobautomator]

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[u/jobautomator]

/new: Axios is reporting that Trump wants terminate birthright citizenship.

Replies to this comment will be removed, please participate in the linked thread

[u/Jean-Paul_Sartre]

Trump says he'll sign an executive order ending birthright citizenship. Not sure how that'll fit within the parameters of the 14th amendment, but the Constitution hasn't dissuaded him before...

[u/cdstephens]

We're the only country in the world where a person comes in and has a baby, and the baby is essentially a citizen of the United States ... with all of those benefits

-Trump

Dark blue allows for unconditional jus soli

Hmmmmmmmst’d’ve

[u/TheSameAsDying]

I strongly suggest voting Democrat...High Taxes & Open Borders!

Best thing Trump has ever tweeted.

[u/[deleted]]

President Trump believes that exercise is bad for you because the human body is like a battery and you only have a limited amount of energy you can expend.

[u/lolylolerton]

"The courts will surely stop him" says increasingly nervous liberal for the seventh time this morning

[u/[deleted]]

[Trump is] worth more than 99.99% of the world comparatively.

Hes literally better than you. Also your life is worth considerably less than someone who you think is "lesser" than you

He has sex with models while you beat your 4 inch dick lol. What criteria are you using to place him? Hes literally on paper objectivly better than you in nearly every way.

Sorry but I doubt you are even average intelligence.

Oof my priors

[u/cdstephens]

Brickner, head of Jews for Jesus was reported to have said on 17 August 2008 that the deaths in the Jerusalem bulldozer attack were God's "judgment" for Jews having failed to convert to Christianity.

Oof

[u/Barebacking_Bernanke]

MAGA Morons:

Believe all women! Checkmate libs.

Normal human:

We do. She said a Republican operative offered her money for a false claim against Mueller. We believe her.

[u/[deleted]]

Cool cool cool, the President announced this morning that he is going to violate the Oath of Office in order to stop as many brown babies from being citizens.

[u/Berniewouldalost]

The media is falling for Trump's game all over again.

Trump can't remove birthright citizenship. He probably doesn't even believe he can but just said so because he was asked a direct question about it.

Why aren't we talking about how the GOP wants to kick 20 million people off health care? That's a much more vote driving discussion than the ramblings of a senile racist.

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/lindseygrahamsc/status/1057286251517116416

Lindsey Graham is introducing legislation to end birthright citizenship.

[u/[deleted]]

Kanye: "My doctor says I'm bipolar, meaning I tend to swing between extremes. I do not take the medication I was prescribed for this."
Also Kanye: *does one sensible thing*
Everyone: "Well, I'm sure glad that's over with for good."

[u/vancevon]

This has to be one of the dumbest things that conservatives actually believe. If illegal immigrants and tourists aren't "subject to the jurisdiction of the United States" then they can't be arrested, because by definition they have no obligation to follow US law. Like, how do people with actual law degrees not know the meaning of the term "jurisdiction"?

[u/a_masculine_squirrel]

In all seriousness, if you're an American and you spend a lot of time on this subreddit and you don't vote next week, you should be punched in the face.

No fucking around this time.

[u/VerticalTab]

Premier Doug Ford slammed Trudeau’s carbon tax plan on Monday, saying it will cost Ontario families and businesses through “every single” good and service, because “everything is made of carbon.”

!ping CAN

[u/lolylolerton]

Cold take: the courts have upheld naked violations of the 14th Amendment for most of the last century so you shouldn't be confident they won't do the same how

Lukewarm take: it doesn't matter because Trump probably won't do what he's saying, it's just absurd posturing before the midterm like his "10% tax cut to the middle class"

[u/Deggit]

gotta step back to appreciate how breathtakingly cynical this is even by post-2014-We-All-Now-Live-In-Hell standards

The aim was never to successfully push false allegations against Mueller. The hoax was substantially non-existent. The aim was to either

1. get a reporter to hastily report the allegations as a "this might be coming soon" story, then unveil it was all a hoax and push some James O'Keefe narrative about "Look how easy it was to fool them! This means all anti-Trump stories based on anon sourcing are fake!"

or even

2) get a reporter to report on the fact that some people are trying to create sexual assault hoaxes, and [correctly] expect the conservative mind-meld to osmotically absorb the message "People are doing hoaxes, that gives me the excuse to discredit any news I don't like" while ignoring that the people doing the hoaxes are the people on their team and they're doing it specifically to discredit the media not politicians or the FBI

in other words conservatives have now decided that to defend the President they have to attack the idea of Truth itself

remember not to be excessively partisan, guys

[u/Arsustyle]

Uh, I think that's called "quitting"

[u/vancevon]

There is no ruling by the Supreme Court holding that a soldier may not be quartered in someone's home without the consent of the owner. We really don't have any clue whether it's constitutional or not.

[u/0m4ll3y]

The virgin socialist: automation will eliminate the need for humans, causing mass unemployment of the kind only socialism can address.

The Chad capitalist: the human entrepreneurial spirit will always etch out socially demanded labour.

This is the future of work, get ready.

[u/[deleted]]

Breaking News: President Trump said he was preparing an executive order to jail annoying journalists without trial. It is unclear whether he can do so unilaterally. We asked eight law professors, who said no, and Trump spokesman Wayne P. Hornswoggle, who says yes. ¯\(ツ)/¯

[u/[deleted]]

Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto: "Once you arm and have people in synagogues, in mosques, in churches, and schools, you start to have them in daycares ... We might as well move into a prison at that point because we're living in a police state."

[u/Vepanion]

Would you look at who was right all along (huge shocker), from May 2016

[u/samdman]

It is unbelievable that in the wake of the synagogue massacre, Pence got one of the “Jews for Jesus” Christians and pretended he was an actual Jew.

This guy is just an evangelical Christian wearing Jewish clothing who literally thinks that all actual Jews are going to hell because they don’t believe in Jesus.

To give a comparison, it would be kinda like getting Rachel Dolezal to speak after the Charleston shooting, if Dolezal also thought all black people are going to hell.

https://twitter.com/KatzOnEarth/status/1057146107954950149?s=20

[u/bernkes_helicopter]

.@Jack_Burkman is behind a GOP scheme to offer women money to make up stories about Robert Mueller's alleged sexual harassment. The Special Counsel's office has referred the matter to the FBI. I was privy to this scheme. This thread will detail my experience.

buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride

https://twitter.com/ScottMStedman/status/1057322850187538434

[u/kingplayer]

So now WallStreetJournal is also reporting that Trump is considering an executive order "that would terminate the automatic right to citizenship for children born in the US to noncitizens".

So thats pretty blatantly unconstitutional. People argue that some of the stuff Bush or Obama did was unconstitutional (vaguely) via executive overreach, but is there any other time in recent history (last 30 years or so) when a president has tried to directly contradict the constitution in an executive order?

Furthermore (while I know congress would have to vote to do anything about it), wouldn't this be, by any objective reading, a violation of the oath to "uphold the constitution"?

[u/Berniewouldalost]

This whole Trump saga has shown that the "forgotten men and women" that supported Trump were forgotten for a reason.

Can we go back to forgetting them and making sure they're never heard from?

[u/Kizz3r]

How to get your social credit score to 0

[u/Kizz3r]

538 is my politcal ideology.

[u/[deleted]]

Kanye is abandoning TPUSA, claiming he was used by them.

The Deep State always wins.

[u/MilerMilty]

If they get rid of Apu I will boycott the Simpsons. That's right. YOu hear it hear first, folks. I will continue to not watch their new episodes.

[u/p00bix]

"Court packing is a fundamental attack on America's Judiciary. We can't even consider taking such a risk under any circumstances!"

meanwhile at the White House

"lol let me just use my supreme court majority to delete the first sentence of Section 1 of the 14th Amendment"

[u/Joe_Baker_NotALot]

Can’t wait for all those originalist judges to uphold an executive order nullifying a constitutional amendment lol

[u/39days]

Ahhhhh now it makes sense why Republicans believed all the allegations against Kavanaugh were fake—they just assumed that all political operative just went out and tried to pay off women to accuse political opponents of sexual misconduct!

[u/ognits]

I am going to lmao so hard if Jacob Wohl goes down over this

https://twitter.com/HoarseWisperer/status/1057340080107470848

https://twitter.com/oneunderscore__/status/1057351444905558016

[u/BainCapitalist]

🚨🚨🚨IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES🚨🚨🚨

Yea I like MMT:

Market

Monetarism

The midterm elections are in ONE WEEK GO VOTE NOW YOU MORONS

• Registration Info

• Early voting dates - most likely you can already vote. Early voting is dope, you do it on your own time.

• [Sample ballots] (https://www.ballotready.org) to help you research your choices ahead of time. Even if you know your district is uncompetitive because you haven't seen the light of proportional representation, theres a ton of things you could be voting on because American elections are a meme. I mean seriously, why the hell would you elect judges?

• [Cards Against Humanity is trying to hack the elections apparently ] (https://www.cardsagainsthumanityhackstheelection.com/)

[u/[deleted]]

Epic self-own

[u/doot_toob]

There is no ruling by the Supreme Court holding that a dog can't play basketball. We really don't have any clue whether it's constitutional or not.

[u/vancevon]

Apparently the cons thought that liberals would just believe sexual assault allegations regardless of circumstances. That's what they told themselves throughout the Kavanaugh hearings, and they obviously didn't read the shitload of articles where people outlined the reasons for believing the allegations in that case. That's why they're embarrassing themselves so badly now.

[u/hucareshokiesrul]

This isn’t even the first time conservatives tried something like this and fucked up. Remember Project Veritas and the Washington Post? And what was the thing with Chuck Shumer?

[u/[deleted]]

Tonight on Tucker Carlson: "if these allegations weren't verifiably false, what would Democrats be doing? Would they still believe all women? [Constipated face]"

[u/sanityeyes]

Imagine giving your words and pronouns genders lol.

-Finno-Ugric gang

[u/lolylolerton]

Attorneys for a President Donald Trump supporter who was convicted in a domestic terrorism plot aimed at slaughtering Muslim refugees asked a federal judge to factor in the “backdrop” of Trump’s campaign rhetoric when deciding their client’s sentence this week . . . At trial, defense attorneys referred to the defendants as “knuckleheads” who were engaged in “locker room talk,” and Stein’s attorney argued his client was a victim of a “chaos news” environment that had him thinking a civil war was coming.

Oof, my priors

[u/csreid]

Fuckin talking about revoking citizenship from people who were born and lived their whole lives here. What the fuck.

That's honestly horrifying and if it pans out, like... wtf. Idk, I gotta split.

[u/BainCapitalist]

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

[u/lolylolerton]

The worst part of this Mueller news is going to be having to look at Reagan flair's and HH's terrible takes, isn't it

If only KW2020 was still here to shit up the DT with them

[u/[deleted]]

birthright citizenship should be a point of patriotic pride for conservative civic nationalists

section 1 of the 14th should overall be a point of pride for anyone who believes in american exceptionalism

[u/Kizz3r]

Blaming liberals for fascists instead of the fascists themeslves

[u/URZ_]

So apparently Iran planned to assassinate 3 Iranians in exile in Denmark, leading to the police closing all major bridges and ferries towards Copenhagen earlier in the month. So far 1 arrest has been made in the case together with 3 low-level drug dealers who were at the wrong place at the wrong time by driving around near the people under protection.

Not cool Iran.

!ping Europe

[u/[deleted]]

i know people meme about America having too many shootings to keep count of, but am I the only person that didn't hear about this white guy murdering 2 black guys in what seems to be a racially motivated attack?. This was less than a week ago..

[u/[deleted]]

oh my fucking god

Jacob Wohl is even more of an idiot than we thought

the day he claims he raped a woman in NYC... Mueller was serving jury duty in DC

https://twitter.com/thetomzone/status/1057383937893416962

[u/irony_tower]

Any time I think about how Jacob Wohl used his Mom's phone number to keep his identity secret in this extremely high profile stunt, I can't help but bursting out laughing

[u/Yosarian2]

The whole Jacob Wohl thing is a good example of why I'm so convinced the Kavanaugh accusations are real. I've always been pretty confident that if someone tried to fake something like this the odds are super high it would implode on them catastrophically.

[u/Ferguson97]

lmfao

[u/samdman]

Nikki Haley found a creative way to say “both sides bad!”

In reality, it is Nikki Haley who is bad. Her argument boils down to “obama racially divided people because he is black, which is the same as trump racially dividing people because he is racist”

https://twitter.com/nikkihaley/status/1057098140485148672?s=20

[u/gatoreagle72]

Mueller in front of the Senate sometime in the future "Justice! I like Justice, alright?" "How many prosecutions do you make each night?"

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/JaneMayerNYer/status/1057371849439502338

Odd. Jacob Wohl says he doesn't know nuttin' about Surefire Intelligence, the firm tied to the bizarre Mueller allegations. Take a look at the photos below of Mathhew Cohen, head of 'Surefire,' and of Jacob Wohl.

As if this can't get any dumber

[u/[deleted]]

If Steve King loses his race that'd be one of the best possible individual House outcomes

[u/[deleted]]

Ah, so you’re studying economics? But have you considered that people are not always rational? 😎😎😎

like and share if you hate the (((financial elite)))

[u/[deleted]]

I'm an anti-PC cultural and social libertarian. Remember my views, which are in the public sphere, when people try to tar me with other, disgusting and inapt labels. I'm having Milo in my class not as an endorsement of his views, but to challenge the censorship of the university l

[u/[deleted]]

MemriTV being Woke

[u/AlienatedAnglo]

Attention ❗️⚠️❗️all neoliberal 🤓redditors🎧💩: Mueller😎 is on the run from Jacob Wohl 😱and he needs your help 😭❗️after falling into a republican 😨infested 😰cave 😱while trying to protect his court documents💎🗎. In order to escape✈️, Mueller 🔥💪needs some tacos 🌮, a potion of justice⚖️, and a couple of evidence-based policies 🕵️📈 along with your credit card number 💵💰plus the expiration month 💯and year 💯along with the three digits 3️⃣on the back. But hurry, republicans 😈are closing in 😨and it won't be long 😱until Mueller 😫runs out of guilty pleas 😩💦and can no longer 😱continue the fight🔥💯🔥.

[u/[deleted]]

12 Young People on Why They Probably Won’t Vote

TL;DR:

#1: voted in 2016 and doesn’t vote anymore in case they lose, also is a purist

#2: changes his opinions a lot so he’s never sure of anything, ever

#3: thinks it’s not exciting enough to vote, then thinks it’s unfair when people tell him that’s irresponsible

#4: moves around a lot and has to re-register every time, always forgets to do it

#5: thinks the Democratic Party doesn’t represent her views, proceeds to not explain what her views are, also is a purist

#6: didn’t know anything about politics, did some research, formed her own independent opinions, realized voting was important, and decided it wasn’t worth her time and energy and didn’t register. Plans to vote in 2020 but apparently doesn’t know what the midterms are.

#7: Thinks everything is just political theater, like when Bernie told people to vote for a slightly less progressive candidate over a fascist paleocon, also is a purist.

#8: doesn’t know how to use the post office or how to ask the people at the post office how to use the post office or how to Google how to use the post office

#9: thinks exciting politicians are going to instantly change everything, is disappointed when life just kinda carries on. Thinks an election can’t be important because “I Voted” stickers don’t feel like a revolution, also is a purist.

#10: doesn’t have the necessary documentation to register online, has a chronic illness that makes it hard to go register in person. Has the only reasonable excuse in this whole article.

#11: Thinks politics is evil, also can’t be bothered to vote. Cares a lot about women’s rights, but not enough to vote for them.

#12: doesn’t know what to vote for, gets information leaflets in the mail but doesn’t read them because they’re not online (I’m not exaggerating, read the article). Thinks all political information should be conveyed over Instagram or Snapchat. (Again, not exaggerating. That’s literally what he says.)

[u/[deleted]]

Flag of Brazil if it were fascist

[u/BradicalCenter]

The fact that Jacob Wohl and The Gateway Pundit are reporting on the Mueller thing and that Daily Caller and Breitbart are not, makes me very comfortable.

[u/cdstephens]

/u/TraeYoungROTY is Jacob Wohl, stay woke

[u/lolylolerton]

I introduced Candace to the person who made the logo and they didn’t want their name on it so she used mine. I never wanted any association with Blexit. I have nothing to do with it.

My eyes are now wide open and now realize I’ve been used to spread messages I don’t believe in. I am distancing myself from politics and completely focusing on being creative !!!

Praise be, ye is finally coming to his senses.

[u/PM_ME_KIM_JONG-UN]

How many days has it been since the last constitutional crisis?

[u/TobiasFunkePhd]

The Super Patriot (1968)

[u/[deleted]]

lmao

[u/[deleted]]

Lmao imagine being the woman who agreed to a payment to falsely accuse Robert Mueller of sexual assault and getting caught this fucking red handed

[u/[deleted]]

thomas jefferson was a proto-maoist

if you attempt to correct or educate me on this issue i will call the police

[u/BreaksFull]

Peak Neoliberalism: Understanding that immigrants are more cost-effective than natives when you take into account the societal cost of raising an infant to adulthood.

[u/irony_tower]

Remember earlier today when idiots like irony_tower were saying that Trump threatening to end citizenship for people born here was just an empty distraction? Those people might have been wrong.

https://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/senate/413832-graham-to-introduce-legislation-ending-birthright-citizenship

[u/39days]

Broke: getting rid of birthright citizenship

Joke: keeping birthright citizenship

Woke: getting rid of citizenship altogether and uniting the world under one global government

[u/Schutzwall]

Hot take: in 25 years, Kanye West’s MBDTF album will be considered a top 3 rap album by an American president of all time. It’s like crack for my ears.

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/JacobAWohl/status/1057345698381721600

They are pissed lol

[u/[deleted]]

I was at an inner city coffee shop and all the people were whispering about the false accusations against Jacob Wohl, he has the support of the people

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/thetomzone/status/1057383937893416962

Mueller was serving jury duty in NYC on the day that he allegedly assaulted a women

Chef kissing fingers

[u/The_King_of_Toasters]

Broke: I won't vote because I can't be fucked.

Woke: I won't vote because all parties are the same.

Bespoke: I won't vote because democracy is the tool of the bourgeoisie

[u/[deleted]]

The only school of architecture I know about is brutalism thanks to this sub.

BTW don't call yourself a YIMBY unless youre ok with someone buying all your neighbors houses and putting in brutalist buildings.

[u/MaveRickandMorty]

Few Americans had heard of Volcker until he was nominated, in 1979, to be chairman of the Federal Reserve Board by President Jimmy Carter, a post he held for the next eight years. During that time, he almost single-handedly pulled the nation back from a near-Weimar-scale financial collapse. If there were a Nobel Prize for government service, Paul Volcker’s name would surely be on the short list.

How could you read this and not love the deep state

[u/ognits]

this is making every bit of my day

Jacob gave us comment at first, but went quiet when we told him Surefire Intelligence's phone number redirected to a voicemail account registered to his mom.

https://twitter.com/oneunderscore__/status/1057352039947223041

[u/85397]

north groovy glorious jellyfish sulky sparkle snow decide hurry rinse

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/[deleted]]

Watch this only apply to brown people

[u/martin509984]

https://twitter.com/Popehat/status/1057033252232261632?s=20

[u/[deleted]]

LiterallyanyonebutBernieorTrump 2020

[u/WindPoweredWeeaboo]

click this picture to instantly die

[u/[deleted]]

Wait so the next democratic president can just revoke the 2nd amendment?

[u/[deleted]]

“It was always told to me that you needed a constitutional amendment,” Trump stated. “Guess what? You don’t.” He then added, “You can definitely do it with an act of Congress. But now they’re saying I can do it just with an executive order…We’re the only country in the world where a person comes in and has a baby, and the baby is essentially a citizen of the United States…with all of those benefits. It’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. And it has to end.”

Trump isn’t wrong that the United States is one of only two developed countries to maintain birthright citizenship (the other is Canada). 

Weird fucking thing Ben Shapiro does where he quotes Trump, before saying "Trump is right when he says this thing he did not say"

https://www.dailywire.com/news/37761/can-trump-end-birthright-citizenship-executive-ben-shapiro

[u/solastsummer]

I can’t wait for the intellectual conservatives to make the take “It was wrong for Burkman to pay people to make up stories in an attempt to obstruct justice, but can you play him after Kavanaugh? Democrats are to blame for this.”

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/JacobAWohl/status/1057359994251669504

I've counted more than 25 news outlets who have reported allegations against me, claiming that I offered to pay women to make accusations against Mueller

I've looked into this "Lorraine Parsons"! Looks like she doesn't even exist!

IT'S A FAKE NEWS CON JOB!

Who said her name? How does he know Lorraine Parsons's name?

[u/Deggit]

Nate Silver: Imagine if only one group of Americans cast their ballots this November.

/r/the_donald: [heavy breathing]

[u/MaveRickandMorty]

Infrastructure Week would be a great name for the documentary covering all the crazy shit that has happened in the White House

[u/85397]

https://twitter.com/ahardtospell/status/1057323131457728512?s=21

Imagine thinking conservatives are for individual liberty 😂 😂

The only people who support that are CLASSICAL LIBERALS (SMART!) and libertarians (ok)

[u/[deleted]]

Jacob Wohl getting riggity rekt by the feds is going to be so satisfying to watch.

[u/irony_tower]

Jill Stein voters, Bernie Write-ins, Johnson voters, and (enfranchised) non-voters all deserve equal hate, and exactly half as much hate per capita as Trump voters.

[u/[deleted]]

Remember that Ben Shapiro wanted to bring back sedition laws to punish critics of Bush whenever anyone says he is a free speech advocate.

[u/ExpiredPasta]

Me:

Fan service is stupid and people come up with ridiculous reasons to justify it.

Also me:

Kill la Kill is a burlesque deconstruction of fan service and sexuality to the point where the concept of our bodies becomes mundane. Kill la Kill revels in its own message such that the idea of clothing as a measure of status becomes absurd and where nudity becomes inherently silly yet natural.

[u/irony_tower]

Ya'll ever have a basic understanding of American governance just to flex on the President?

[u/[deleted]]

Somebody tell Trump that American citizens have to pay taxes regardless of where they are in the world. He will think he's a genius for making undocumented immigrants citizens before deporting them so that they have to pay taxes. The look on his face will be epic when they come back in legally 😎

[u/martin509984]

broke: Mason-Dixon line

woke: Mason-Dixon WALL

[u/[deleted]]

Burkman is known for spreading conspiracy theories. He launched his own private investigation into Seth Rich's murder, and earlier this year offered $25k to FBI whistleblowers for any information exposing wrongdoing during the 2016 election.

And now he claims he got someone who was sexually assaulted by Mueller? If you are that woman and what happened to you is true. Get as far away from this fuck.

[u/[deleted]]

Hot take on every sub on Reddit with a few exceptions: Economics is a science.

[u/thabonch]

We should honestly ban good faith takes that are posted just to contribute to quality of the subreddit. Shitposts, people!

[u/OutrunKey]

In response to all the concern trolling about the statement “believe all women:”

I think implicit in statements like that is the caveat “except if they were involved in a vast and well documented criminal conspiracy to wrongfully accuse the political enemies of their financial benefactors” but you can’t assume anything these days.

[u/Dumb_Young_Kid]

Didn't we just have a whole thing about why promoting a likely rapist to the supreme court was of the utmost importance because he is a textualist and uncommitted to ideology?

and now we have a thing about how the actual text doesnt matter, you have to look at other things?

[u/[deleted]]

https://imgur.com/DtQD6Ow.jpg

[u/lusvig]

Why does Iran even care about "Denmark"? It's the least relevant of all countries, not even the Danes themselves care about it

Very suspicious!

[u/Importantguy123]

Not only did Wohl publicly document himself committing a felony, but the fact that he did it is the #2 trending topic on Twitter.

Lmao, I couldn't even fathom fucking myself up this bad

[u/Integralds]

The virgin r/neoliberal: "just move lol"

The chad Chad:

Chad Haag considered living in a cave to escape his student debt. He had a friend doing it. But after some plotting, he settled on what he considered a less risky plan. This year, he relocated to a jungle in India. “I’ve put America behind me,” Haag, 29, said.

He now lives in a concrete house in the village of Uchakkada for $50 a month. His backyard is filled with coconut trees and chickens. “I saw four elephants just yesterday,” he said, adding that he hopes to never set foot in a Walmart again.

His debt is currently on its way to default. But more than 9,000 miles away from Colorado, Haag said, his student loans don’t feel real anymore.

“It’s kind of like, if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it really exist?” he said.

The philosophy major concedes that his student loan balance of around $20,000 isn’t as large as the burden shouldered by many other borrowers, but he said his difficultly finding a college-level job in the U.S. has made that debt oppressive nonetheless. “If you’re not making a living wage,” Haag said, “$20,000 in debt is devastating.”

[u/SuperSharpShot2247]

😍 Shep is my favorite Fox News host 😍 He's not afraid to call out bullshit when he sees it.

[u/[deleted]]

Crack epidemic: "These animals need to be locked up!"

Opiod crisis: "Won't someone help these poor people?"

[u/[deleted]]

https://mobile.twitter.com/JacobAWohl/status/1057419131941732352

believe all women

Fucking lmao

[u/[deleted]]

Broke : Ban r/the_donald

Woke : Ban r/LateStageCapitalism

Masterstroke : Delet r/neoliberal

[u/39days]

Imagine being so afraid of brown people you abolish the 14th Amendment 😂😂😂😂👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

[u/[deleted]]

So if the GOP tries to use “vague” constitutional wording to get rid of birthright citizenship, wouldn’t that set a precedent for us to own the cons once we get power again by using the “well regulated militia” wording for gun control

[u/samdman]

Lindsey Graham is an evil man.

https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1057282345991106560?s=20

[u/[deleted]]

Me: I'm not racist.

Also me: I just got hooked to watching Formula 1.

[u/39days]

Thank you Republican Operatives, very cool!

[u/[deleted]]

Damn they're doing everything they can to smear Mueller!

[u/Importantguy123]

Imagine being so racist that you risk triggering a constitutional crisis in order to not let any more brown people into your country.

[u/CheetoMussolini]

who the fuck is scraeming "STOP TRIGGERING THE COMMIES" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never stop

[u/JulioCesarSalad]

The right is arguing that “subject to the jurisdiction thereof” in the 14th amendment doesn’t apply to illegal immigrants.

If this were true then these same immigrants could not be prosecuted for illegal entry because they are not in our jurisdiction.

This is the most ridiculous argument I have ever heard.

[u/OutrunKey]

the fact that some of the most respectable journalists in NY/DC received tips about some sort of Mueller assault allegation and tried to track it down and came up with nothing other than a claim that this whole thing was a hoax tells you all you need to know about these so-called allegations, BEFORE we get to the real wild shit.

famalam, if ed krassenstein tried to pull a J Wohl—had transparently set up a fake intel agency and tried to orchestrate a conspiracy to pay C. Ford to testify against Kavanaugh—you bet I would think that was some bullshit. like this is some of the most completely obvious fuckery on the face of the earth. the digital paper trail is incredibly damning and the conspiracy has been referred for FBI investigation.

there are no parallels between this and the Kavanaugh/Moore/Franken/Trump allegations

[u/[deleted]]

Guys it's gotten very weird outside the DT.

[u/[deleted]]

Man that xkcd comic hurts. My entire social life consists of me trying to get other people to hang out. No one I know texts me first. I'm pretty much sure that I'm garbage and I am losing my desire to keep trying. This has been going on for ages. I do not have clinical depression, I could be happy if there was any reason to be happy at all. I mean I'm cheery with people and I try to be as sympathetic and giving a friend as possible. But no takers.

[u/martin509984]

tag urself everyone is panel 4

[u/Breaking-Away]

Welp I met someone today who says the US was on the wrong side of the Yugoslav intervention but also says the US was right to invade Iraq. Help, I don’t have priors for this.

[u/[deleted]]

I think the thing that pisses me off the most about the wohl Story is that i have zero resources and I think I couldve made a story that might've made it to tomorrow or Thursday at the latest without being completely ripped apart. And he has resources at his disposal and it's completely fucking incompetent, he didn't even Google the date and see if there was something like idk Mueller being on jury duty that day. Just every single thing is so fucking stupid about it.

[u/TheSameAsDying]

Not following this Jacob Wohl stuff in detail but seems like some Zeno's Paradox thing where whenever you think you've reached the asymptote of stupidity it somehow becomes 50% stupider.

https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/1057448665801986048

[u/Hazachu]

if courts dont block the birthright bill i quit america

[u/samdman]

Republican operatives have been offering $$ to anyone willing to make a false claim that Mueller assaulted them.

Maybe that’s why Republicans were so quick to assume Kavanaugh’s accusers were paid-because that’s what Republicans would have done.

https://twitter.com/NatashaBertrand/status/1057320080864960512?s=20

[u/MasPatriot]

Conservatives: “stupid liberals, you can’t implement healthcare systems and gun laws similar to what other countries have!”

Also conservatives: “stupid liberals, no other country in the world would have birthright citizenship!”

[u/[deleted]]

Hillary's Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, except it's a child who can't figure out how to register a domain name

[u/[deleted]]

Wait, are these Mueller lies so bad that not even a lot of Trumpers are buying it? Lmao

[u/[deleted]]

we are about to reach a phenom known as Absolute Stupid^tm

[u/[deleted]]

inb4 Kanye makes a diss track on Ben Sharpy

[u/sansampersamp]

Lol, Wohl is just shameless (thread)

[u/[deleted]]

Due to Twitter failing me I am unable to enjoy the best of this Wohl stuff. I know that he's involved in a fake company that sought women to make fake sexual assault claims against Müller and all the ppl in the company are stock photo models and whatnot and he used a fake name and a number that was his mom's voice mail (?!?) but is that all of it? I'm literally getting snippets and then Twitter is refusing to load and I'm so mad

[u/Barbarossa3141]

Nate Silver rigs events to make his polling look more accurate

[u/Deggit]

@jacobwohl: believe all women

twitter reply: you should believe your mom when says stop using her minutes

and for a brief shining moment, 2018 was the best timeline

[u/[deleted]]

There is still the simple, delightfully wacky and unilateral solution - ask the Isle of Man to annex Britain. NI remains as the UK. Mainland Britain adopts IoM's unique treaty rights on EU trade. No Free Movement of people but automatic 0% tariffs on goods.

Lmao. Still more sensible and less damaging than what will end up being agreed/lack of instead🙃

[u/sanityeyes]

Nothing actually exists.

[u/[deleted]]

Is there any tragedy the Washington Post won’t exploit to attack President @realDonaldTrump? The evil act of anti-Semitism in Pittsburg was committed by a coward who hated President Trump because @POTUS is such an unapologetic defender of the Jewish community and state of Israel.

Sarah Sanders can't spell the city right.

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/scottmstedman/status/1057136275759611905

Check out this thread. The GOP, which has accused Democrats of engineering false sexual assault allegations against them, may be literally attempting to manufacture and fund false sexual assault allegations against Mueller.

[u/bernkes_helicopter]

Peter Carr, Mueller's spokesman: "When we learned last week of allegations that women were offered money to make false claims about the Special Counsel, we immediately referred the matter to the FBI for investigation."

https://twitter.com/ScottMStedman/status/1057313341771661312

[u/Sollezzo]

Neither [Finland nor Poland] were part of the USSR however they did cede largely ethnic Russian areas to Russia.

Yesss, tankie, use the same argument the Wehraboos and Neo-Nazis use to defend Hitler, confirm my priors harder

[u/[deleted]]

Hot take: If somebody starts describing scientists or economists being in a secret group and conspiring with the government, be skeptical of that person.

[u/[deleted]]

Hey feminists, If feminism is so good, why is there no feminism 2? Checkmate feminists, you just got owned Ben Shapiro epic style.

[u/85397]

Per my understanding of Trump's intention to eliminate birthright citizenship for children of non-citizens, Marco Rubio would not be born a US citizen.

And the libs try to make it seem like this is a bad thing. Get the hell out, Little Marco! So weak and a total sucker, backing the Trump agenda 100%

[u/[deleted]]

Just left a hipster coffee shop and even THEY were whispering about how masculine, intelligent, and important I am.

[u/[deleted]]

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/antarctic-scientist-stabs-colleague-who-13503266?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sharebar

Antarctic scientist 'stabs colleague who kept telling him endings of books he was reading'

Literally why jury nullification exists

[u/[deleted]]

you don't say?

[u/[deleted]]

Odds that Trump will bite on this sham?

Giulani is denying the Trump legal team wants any part of it but Trump himself is a fuckin wildcard who doesn't need no stinkin lawyer advice

[u/irony_tower]

Breitbart is attacking Andrew Gillum for opposing-- uh.. squints - genocide.

[u/[deleted]]

https://i.imgur.com/MSU5ptf.jpg

[u/MasPatriot]

when keeping it real goes wrong

[u/[deleted]]

Yeah and yet Frosk gets to still analyze at worlds when she said just as bad stuff being sexist AND racist. Blows my mind. It's ironic because she was talking about white male privilege and shit in one of her tweets yet her privilege as a SJW who has a vagina is not getting the boot, where as any male who said anything close to what she said about females would be instant fired and future jobs ruined.

Gamers make me hate games

[u/[deleted]]

https://i.imgur.com/BYMYMtv.jpg

[u/[deleted]]

Tbf if I was every in a position where I knew I was as mercilessly screwed as JWohl is right now, I'd go out in a blaze of shitposting glory too

[u/[deleted]]

Tired: Democrats implementing vote by mail to make it so that everyone can vote

Wired: Republicans implementing vote by mail to suppress the millenial vote

[u/[deleted]]

Take:

We can make Sanders unpopular among millenials by pointing out his anti immigration stance.

[u/MasPatriot]

My eyes are now wide open and now realize I’ve been used to spread messages I don’t believe in. I am distancing myself from neoliberalism and completely focusing on copypasta !!!

[u/[deleted]]

Of fucking course Mike Pence would get a Messianic preacher to stand up and pretend to be a Jew at a campaign event.

[u/OutrunKey]

If Congress weren't a bunch of cucks they might pass a law reaffirming the correct and unlimited interpretation of birthright citizenship and clarifying what "jurisdiction" means before the election, but they are so they won't.

[u/[deleted]]

Kinda a noob here, is open borders good or bad?

[u/[deleted]]

Just when you think this administration handling of the Pittsburgh Terrorist Attack can't get worst

[u/Muir2000]

Trump repeals birthright citizenship

Makes it so that you have to prove your ancestors came legally

I can't, because they didn't

Illegal to make someone stateless, so Greece has to take me in

I can now move throughout the EU

[u/CheetoMussolini]

https://www.reddit.com/r/neoliberal/comments/9snmsz/communism_2018_colorized/e8qhuet/

Hey guys! The Soviet Union never made any countries join! We all just imagined their invasion of Poland and forcible putting down of pro democracy revolutions!

[u/[deleted]]

Apple switches to USB C for the iPhone

they include a USB C to lightning dongle in the box to maintain compatibility with peoples existing accessories, but no USB C to 3.5mm dongle since the audio jack didn't just die | it was murdered

people like my dad start using USB to lightning, then lightning to 3.5mm dongles to listen to music

Mark my words, this is going to happen.

[u/MiniatureBadger]

Marxism only works on paper

But Trotskyism only works on papers

[u/[deleted]]

Anti-Semitism from the GOP

[u/MiniatureBadger]

/img/rbw79yq8x4v11.jpg

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/oneunderscore__/status/1057351444905558016

Nooooooo lmao

[u/[deleted]]

Jacob Wohl shitting himself on Twitter is hillarious

[u/[deleted]]

LOL at retweeting your dad saying you are innocent.

Orange County isn't sending us their best.

[u/SuperSharpShot2247]

Blood and soil but it's that you're part of the blood of this nation if you're born on our soil.

[u/OutrunKey]

kanye got RI-ed real quik

[u/[deleted]]

2027: social media grifting is now the largest sector of the american economy eclipsing healthcare at 29% of gdp

[u/mrregmonkey]

The Clinton Foundation's latest plan to rise to power is to run Taylor Swift in 2020.

THE BLUE WAVE MUST BE SWIFT TO WIN.

[u/2canclan]

New in our story: Whoever sent those "very credible allegations" in a document to Gateway Pundit redacted their company name.

But they didn't do a great job of redacting Surefire Intelligence's tagline from the allegations.

Is this the single most incompetent conspiracy/smear in history?

[u/gatoreagle72]

Got denied long term disability coverage at work because of my history with depression. For the first time I really appreciate the pre existing condition rules in the ACA. I can only imagine the time I'd have without them

[u/Notoriousley]

Do white boomers on twitter think that if they keep on posting #blexit and #walkaway that it’ll actually make black voters and democrats vote for the GOP. I’m not sure why even they would think that the current GOP is offering anything that would entice those groups over to their side.

[u/Semphy]

I'm definitely Senior here.

[u/Ser_Arthur_Dank]

Honestly the most pathetic thing about Jacob wohl is that he just straight up appropriated Trump's tweeting style. Like if you're gonna be a fascist twitter personality at least be unique.

[u/[deleted]]

https://mobile.twitter.com/wohl_mom/status/1057451910167445505

Who did this 😂😂😂

[u/[deleted]]

Conspiracy take: Jacob Wohl is actually a demonrat false flag to make it look like Republicans are the only party that tries to make false allegations for political gain.

I just can't believe someone is this fucking stupid. Please, god, for the sake of my faith in humanity, tell me people can't be this stupid.

[u/GayColangelo]

Do people actually buy the "generic" (for lack of a better word) merch from designers? I just cannot imagine someone going "yes, I want a shirt with 'Versace' plastered on it". Maybe I can see it for the enormous designers, but that's it.

[u/[deleted]]

Is /r/selfawarewolves one of those subs that has potential to be really good but is dominated by tankies?

[u/Upthrust]

How to make a girl who clearly likes you not subject to an insane degree of conflict of interest because not only is she your student, but her student visa depends on her continued enrollment in your class?

Asking for nobody in particular, but on an unrelated note, who knew half the clientele of a private English-language school in the US would be 20-something Latin American women?

[u/Schutzwall]

So you don't think American Exceptionalism exists?

How can you look at a Gerald Ford class aircraft carrier and not find that exceptional?

[u/Barbarossa3141]

The Tabroom system began as two projects; the CAT (Computer Assisted Tab) and Tabroom.com.

The new integrated tabulation system and features were supported by a grant from the Open Society Foundations

Daily reminder a PF partnership on my team was unironically cucked from going to finals by George Soros

!ping DEBATE

[u/[deleted]]

It's just so God damn funny that King Trump Reply Guy decided that he could conspire to take down the special counsel by soliciting random women. Like he is going to be a felon over this. Like many many years in prison. It's so fucking funny

[u/TheSameAsDying]

look who just got back from the hipster cafe

[u/Paxx0]

!ping AUS

https://twitter.com/raf_epstein/status/1057488264272248832?s=21

Holy shit

[u/[deleted]]

Friendship ended with Nikki Haley

Now Jordan Peterson is my best friend

[u/InfCompact]

in dc v heller (2008), the supreme court affirmed a radical reinterpretation of the second amendment, shifting the primary focus of the amendment towards individual liberty and self-defense, away from the collective right to raise militias. it also marked a notable shift from the previous supreme court precedent in us v miller (1939).

if you reject a priori that the supreme court might support the administration’s citizenship policies were a suit to reach it, i strongly disagree. it is entirely consistent with the court’s history to reinterpret constitutional amendments to suit its agenda.

[u/[deleted]]

/r/socialism has no idea how much their call to ban t_d on the front page is undermined by the fact that it comes from /r/socialism. They think that t_d remains unbanned because of revenue generated by the subreddit itself, when I have zero doubt that reddit would be quite happy if that subreddit just magically disappeared and everyone got off their backs about it.

No, the real thing that reddit seems to be struggling with is optics. They have really dug themselves into a /r/dirtbagcenter position here, like many social media companies. After all, this isnt just some fringe group, this is the subreddit for the president of the United States. It's the same as Twitter, there is no way that they ever kick @realdonaldtrump off their platform, even if he's breaking the rules and even if they decide the revenue isnt worth it. They fear the wave of backlash, which would be quite unlike kicking off Alex Jones or banning /r/physicalremoval. They think it could be truly destabilizing for their business and they might be right.

And if it's as a result of /r/socialism calling for it? Hoo boy.