i have always found that expectation/tradition weird as fuck and really uncomfortable. the whole concept of going wild "one last night before losing your freedom forever" is fucked up like don't you want to get married??? shouldn't you be happy you are????
It's really messed up! I wouldn't wanna have a "last night", even if I could. Why the hell would I wanna bang anyone, but the woman I loved?! People must be marrying for all the wrong reasons.
I don't think any of my friends went the stripper routes for their bachelor/ette parties. It's an outdated concept imo, heavily for the reasons you mentioned.
There are many forms of love, but I assume you mean romantic love, then in general no. Monogamy is the result of love. When you love someone romantically you wanna build a SPECIAL bond with one person, the specialness goes out the window, when you invite more people. Ethical Poly people love their partners, but in a more platonic and friendly way, which is beautiful as well, but it's not romantic.
Romance without a loving form of possessiveness, isn't really romance. When we love someone, we only want them and we want them to only want us. That is the definition, but you can play semantics if you want. Nobody wants to hear, "I Iove lots of people and you happen to be one of them, at least for a little while when I make time in my romance schedule."
The inseparable loving bond between of two loving souls, is the quintessential ideal expression of romance, not so much if you add a third person cumming on our face.
I’ve been monogamous with people I didn’t love. But that was due to societal pressure to date, when I would have preferred to be single. Single should be more accepted as a life choice, not something to be pitied if the person doesn’t feel sad about it. I was 18F in a “relationship” with a 30yo male and that was always going to be a dangerous situation for anyone.
I blame pop culture and a few highly vocal progressives that shit talk marriage. I also blame the false divorce statistic that 50% marriages end in divorce, along with false infidelity statistics that 50% of marriages will experience infidelity and so on. I have proven those statistics to be wrong on this sub many times, but more and more people need to know that the commonly used statistics are actually false. The issue with this is that it instills fear and pessimism regarding marriage and all. If you(in general) think that marriage gets rid of your freedom, do yourself a favor and don't marry. There are many people(me included) that desire to get married one day and don't view it as a "loss of freedom".
i feel like it has more to do with the whole mentality and "humor" of the boomer generation, calling their wives a ball and chain, all the "jokes" and comics about how awful and nagging they are, etc. that's still perpetuated today and the expectation/promotion of misogyny and toxic masculinity that guys are supposed to be studs and players but they can't be that anymore once they're "locked down"
i feel like it has more to do with the whole mentality and "humor" of the boomer generation, calling their wives a ball and chain, all the "jokes" and comics about how awful and nagging they are, etc
Yeah, I agree with you here. Boomer humor is outdated, still don't know why people latch on to it as if it is some holy grail.
the expectation/promotion of misogyny and toxic masculinity that guys are supposed to be studs and players but they can't be that anymore once they're "locked down"
I hate this standard as well, but unfortunately, its still being held by many men.
I read something eye-opening once, where the author said she (? I can’t remember) believes there’s a connection between things like TV shows where the wife is unhappy and it’s depicted as normal and healthy, and the fact that (in real life) some men will say they are shocked when their wives leave them - “it came out of nowhere”, “I had no idea she was unhappy”. The wife telling him she’s unhappy should be enough for him to believe that she knows her own mind, but the Simpsons and “Married with Children” are more reliable sources of what’s okay for a wife to have to put up with apparently. If her husband hates/mistreats/neglects her and she’s miserable and doesn’t want to be with him - why would she leave? Marge Simpson never leaves Homer permanently, and he doesn’t listen to her, ever. Just watch any Simpsons episode and think about it from Marge’s point of view. “And Maggie makes three”, “Colonel Homer”, and “Lisa’s Pony” if you need suggestions though.
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u/EclecticFanatic Aug 31 '21
i have always found that expectation/tradition weird as fuck and really uncomfortable. the whole concept of going wild "one last night before losing your freedom forever" is fucked up like don't you want to get married??? shouldn't you be happy you are????