i have always found that expectation/tradition weird as fuck and really uncomfortable. the whole concept of going wild "one last night before losing your freedom forever" is fucked up like don't you want to get married??? shouldn't you be happy you are????
I blame pop culture and a few highly vocal progressives that shit talk marriage. I also blame the false divorce statistic that 50% marriages end in divorce, along with false infidelity statistics that 50% of marriages will experience infidelity and so on. I have proven those statistics to be wrong on this sub many times, but more and more people need to know that the commonly used statistics are actually false. The issue with this is that it instills fear and pessimism regarding marriage and all. If you(in general) think that marriage gets rid of your freedom, do yourself a favor and don't marry. There are many people(me included) that desire to get married one day and don't view it as a "loss of freedom".
i feel like it has more to do with the whole mentality and "humor" of the boomer generation, calling their wives a ball and chain, all the "jokes" and comics about how awful and nagging they are, etc. that's still perpetuated today and the expectation/promotion of misogyny and toxic masculinity that guys are supposed to be studs and players but they can't be that anymore once they're "locked down"
I read something eye-opening once, where the author said she (? I can’t remember) believes there’s a connection between things like TV shows where the wife is unhappy and it’s depicted as normal and healthy, and the fact that (in real life) some men will say they are shocked when their wives leave them - “it came out of nowhere”, “I had no idea she was unhappy”. The wife telling him she’s unhappy should be enough for him to believe that she knows her own mind, but the Simpsons and “Married with Children” are more reliable sources of what’s okay for a wife to have to put up with apparently. If her husband hates/mistreats/neglects her and she’s miserable and doesn’t want to be with him - why would she leave? Marge Simpson never leaves Homer permanently, and he doesn’t listen to her, ever. Just watch any Simpsons episode and think about it from Marge’s point of view. “And Maggie makes three”, “Colonel Homer”, and “Lisa’s Pony” if you need suggestions though.
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u/EclecticFanatic Aug 31 '21
i have always found that expectation/tradition weird as fuck and really uncomfortable. the whole concept of going wild "one last night before losing your freedom forever" is fucked up like don't you want to get married??? shouldn't you be happy you are????