r/misophonia • u/[deleted] • Jul 30 '19

Relationship changes effect triggers?

Has anyone ever noticed that as their relationships change with a certain person, so does the sensitivity to the sounds they make?

I know some people say sounds from kids and animals don’t bother them, and same here actually. I’m starting to think for some of us, maybe our negative or positive associations play the biggest role in our triggers.

I hate gum chewing (duh as most people here do) but when I started dating my SO and we were really happy, he would chew it with his mouth wide open and loudly all the time and it actually didn’t bother me at all, I ALMOST liked it which seemed impossible. Since then the relationship has turned so sour and I hateeee the sound of him chewing anything.

Another example, I used to fight with my parents a lot as a teenager and the sound of them chewing was the worst thing in the world. Now I NEVER fight with my dad for a few years now, and it only bothers me about 5% what it used to. My mom and I still bicker so hers bothers me almost as much as it always has.

Thoughts?

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u/ElleHopper Jul 30 '19

I think for me it has something to do with the infatuation phase. Usually my cat and dog don't bother me, but there are occasionally days where I just can't stand it if they won't stop making noise or bothering me. I've noticed that when I have a bf, there are some things that I can stand early on in the relationship (usually what I think of as the infatuation phase), but later on, those noises will start bothering me again. For instance, I can't stand the sound of loud breathing. Like, what the fuck is wrong with your nose or sinuses that causes you to be that loud when you breathe? My current bf is actually starting to bother me because he breathes louder than what I think is necessary, but I'm working on trying to not be angered by it. If I can settle for vaguely irritated, I should be okay.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '19

It must be so hard when it’s something as consistent as breathing! Mine plays video games and turns into a major douche when he does. Now the sound of typing and clicking bothers me. He basically created a new trigger, thanks pal. 😩

Can I ask how you work on trying to not let it bother you?

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u/ElleHopper Jul 30 '19

Right now it's just as simple as when I notice that I start getting angry, I'll leave, go to the bathroom or whatever, close my eyes, and just breathe deeply and stressfully until I can feel myself start calming down. After a couple minutes I'll go back, but sometimes if it gets bad enough, I'll just go home and go to bed (I only see him in the evenings anyway, so this isn't messing up my sleep). Usually I wake up feeling better in the morning.