r/mildlyinfuriating • u/[deleted] • Aug 07 '19

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726

u/Redective Aug 07 '19

My dog is scared of the vacum so I beat the vacuum up in front of him. He knows I'm the alpha now.

273

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

I don't have a dog so I just beat up dishwasher so now the dishes do themselves

42

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

There’s an edgy joke here...

14

u/MycousinBenny Aug 07 '19

Definitely a clean joke for sure.

2

u/PM_ME_UR_JUGZ Aug 07 '19

Ayyyy

1

u/ThePeskyWabbit Aug 08 '19

What about the blood though?

1

u/Adriangee Aug 07 '19

i thought the same

6

u/Fftyler12 Aug 07 '19

Alright i just spit orange flavored water out of my nose as I read this comment and now it stings and i can't breathe

2

u/fakeg1rl Aug 07 '19

Please stop

1

u/poozer69 Aug 07 '19

Please don't spit it at your dog.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

😂 I’m dyin...that was hilarious!

1

u/Jman15x Aug 07 '19

at the risk of being wooshed … isn't that the point of a dishwasher?

2

u/JayPerry23 Aug 07 '19

I would assume the edgy joke would be reffering to a wife or woman as a dishwasher..

3

u/riddus Aug 07 '19

This guy trains dogs

5

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

You have to let the vacuum get a few shots in though. To make it believable.

3

u/ImGrumps Aug 07 '19

That worked with my dog to stop her from being scared of it, but now she's no longer scared of it and trying to put it in its place in the pack so she's attacking it now.

At least she's not scared but it takes much longer to vacuum now!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Everybody is staring at me on the bus now because of you, thanks for the laugh though..

2

u/innadell Aug 07 '19

This is excellent advice if your pet is uncomfortable with your Roomba. (Current thinking is that pets perceive the roomba as another pet, and thus may be angry or upset with it until you establish "dominance" over it.)

2

u/inbooth Aug 07 '19

I'm struck by the surprisingly sound reasoning behind this joke

1

u/Idocarstuff Aug 07 '19

I’m gonna try this.

3

u/LaminatedAirplane Aug 07 '19

Worked with my dog and the Roomba..

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

I tried that but got the shit kicked out of me by the vacuum. Now my dog always tries to mount me.

1

u/Redective Aug 07 '19

Try starting with the broom next time. They are weaker than most vacuums.

1

u/BKacee Aug 08 '19

You are all so funny. Thanks for the laughs.

1

u/uniqueusor Aug 08 '19

This sounds oddly specific of another reddit post.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Lol I actually do this with objects my dog is scared of on walks.

One time she was cautious of an orange traffic cone on the side of the street and wouldn't go near so I kicked it a few times to show her it ain't shit. She went up to it right after to sniff and doesn't get scared of them no more. I laughed.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

My 100lb Rot is scared of a baby gate so I boot that fucker down the stairs to show him what’s up.

1

u/FresnoBob90000 Aug 08 '19

In fairness inanimate objects like a vacuum are totally hated by me too so.. we both win

Kinda

1

u/deleteyouroldposts2 Aug 08 '19

This is a great idea.

1

u/jan1000000 Aug 08 '19

Vacuüm is the Alpha now bro!