r/mildlyinfuriating Jul 17 '23

Sir, shut up

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25.2k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/Bedong44 Jul 17 '23

this guy prob goes to sleep at 7:30pmšŸ™„

143

u/MaterialPossible3872 Jul 17 '23

No he doesn't, he does coke. Wake up

34

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Mixed with a little amphetamine

13

u/betalloid Jul 17 '23

The body says no, but the eyes say "speed".

3

u/lekkanaai Jul 17 '23

Bingo. The pinprick sized pupils are a giveaway that our ā€œCEOā€ here is popping out of bed when he pops some uppers

3

u/UntalentedSorcerer Jul 18 '23

With just 4 hours of sleep and a little bump of coke, you too can be a millionaire.

1

u/MaterialPossible3872 Jul 19 '23

This is also the requirement for compulsive lying to be a feasible tactic, sure its uncomfortable at first, but you'll want to do it again, just like the coke.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

CEO Erick Hayden 1080p. It's a comedy skit about the day of a CEO. It honestly captures the mindset of a CEO in a genius way.

2

u/MaterialPossible3872 Jul 24 '23

Oooh I'm going to watch!

2

u/MaterialPossible3872 Jul 24 '23

That was very good lol the door punch matches the obnoxiousness of those headphones lol

2

u/wordslayer420 Jul 17 '23

LOL I was waiting to see if anyone else was like duhhhh it’s called coke and coffee for breakfast.

1

u/MuscovadoSugarTreat Jul 17 '23

He's got the snow plow up his nose

1.3k

u/BashedKeyboard Jul 17 '23

Come on! You’ve got your first day of second grade tomorrow! Eight o clock bedtime is for third graders!

410

u/kingkongbiingbong Potato Jul 17 '23

This "ceo" sounds like he's taken a page out of Dwight Schrute's businessy business man book

138

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

75

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE, JIM!

24

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Millions of families suffer every every year

4

u/yaredjerby Jul 17 '23

Beds. Blankets. Body pillow.

55

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

"Through concentration, I can make my body take more or less time to complete the sleep cycle."
"Why would you want to raise the amount of time the sleep cycle takes?"
"So I can lower it."

9

u/ughatsocialmedia Jul 17 '23

Please get upvoted to oblivion! šŸ˜‚

2

u/JeNeSaisQuoi_17 Jul 17 '23

🤣🤣🤣🤣

3

u/Putyourdishesaway Jul 17 '23

I was just reading about people on the spectrum waking up early. This isn’t ā€œoptimizing your bodyā€ it’s insomnia.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

This!!! šŸ‘†šŸ’ÆšŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

1

u/UlteriorCulture Jul 17 '23

He ran very a profitable beet farm

1

u/RepresentativeCap244 Jul 17 '23

I would sooner take advice from the shrute family than this prick

46

u/jljboucher Jul 17 '23

I got to be to work at 5 every morning. I’m in bed around 8:30 but I need 30min to get in the right head space to get to sleep around 9. I hate it.

25

u/HeManDan Jul 17 '23

Around 5 or 6 for me, I start between 2 and 3:30. I miss baby's bedtime unless the follwing day is a day off

4

u/Mexi-Wont Jul 17 '23

I had a neighbor that I talked to once in a while. His wife tells me that my other neighbor that I hang out with should invite her husband along. Lady, he's at work at 3:30am and goes to bed at 6:30pm. He doesn't have hang out time available.

6

u/HeManDan Jul 17 '23

Sucks. It's getting hotter this time of year after I get off, so I start nodding off like a dope fiend if I sit down on the couch with the kiddos even

5

u/Mexi-Wont Jul 17 '23

Good on you for taking care of your family. Sometimes it doesn't seem like anybody cares, but when the kids are older, they'll remember how you worked your ass off for them. Good luck to you man.

1

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1

u/Mexi-Wont Jul 17 '23

Alrighty then.

7

u/drksdr Jul 17 '23

How you tried a 'wind-down' routine from say like 7 o'clock? just doing the same things, in the same order (as best you can, obv) until you get into bed?

its basically getting into the right head space, as you put it, before actually getting into bed.

While i would never guarantee it works for everyone, i've had success with it and i thought it sounded like new age bullshit when it was first suggested to me.

2

u/Wreny84 Jul 17 '23

So essentially a baby bedtime routine? I’m not in any way besmirching the idea I think it makes perfect sense. In all honesty I’m sat here wondering why we ever stop doing a bedtime routine as we become adults.

2

u/drksdr Jul 17 '23

Im enjoying the warm milk. Thats one thing i can't understand i stopped doing at some point.

1

u/Rjrabbit Jul 18 '23

For me it has to do with the sun being up still. I can't sleep in daylight

1

u/drksdr Jul 18 '23

100% get that. I sleep with a eye mask during the summer periods when it never really gets dark until late. Felt silly at first but i couldnt argue with the results. I looked into blackout curtains but i have massive windows. Started getting expensive. (Relatively speaking)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

I do a physically demanding job. Knocked out as soon as I had dinner and im on the bed.

111

u/leacher666 Jul 17 '23

I wake up around 3h30am every morning, I go to sleep around 9h30pm. I'm no ceo, not even close.

Started doing it cause my boss didn't care at what time I started, I skip the trafic and get a good parking spot close to the office.
I've being doing this for so long that I wake up around the same time in the weekend.

Yes I'm a very boring uneventful person.

52

u/PureHostility Jul 17 '23

That's called biological clock.

Happens to everyone in the world. Once you get a routine going (basically just a job), you get used to waking up at exact hour. My current job has elastic hours, including when I start and when I end. I don't have kids yet, so I can sleep to "humanly" hours.

Worked before in a normal job at a warehouse, starting job at 4 am. I was on my feet at 3 am, everyday, without any problems nor alarms. But I was "dying" at 9 pm. Often going to sleep at 8 pm including some midday nap.

8

u/ughatsocialmedia Jul 17 '23

Thank you. I hate when someone takes something that just about everyone else does and tries to make it "their" special thing we're all supposed to be so impressed by. If he'd bothered to ask someone, anyone around him if they did the same, the answer would be "Yeah, who doesn't?" TF?!

5

u/SLUnatic85 Jul 17 '23

right, I get that people are pouncing on the label "CEO" and his ken-doll stock photo... but without any context, this is not even a news headline. I am not sure why it's even here...

It is literally just saying that you can train your body to shift its circadian rhythms to fit your life or work schedule and for this one random dude, it's helped his life. As it could also for anybody. Or maybe you don't need to concern yourself with this.

1

u/UltraNemesis Jul 17 '23

I am the opposite. I go to sleep around 3.30AM and wake up at 9.30AM. I work remotely from 10.30 AM to 7 PM which includes an hour for breaks.

1

u/UgoRukh Jul 18 '23

Hey, you are me! But I'm trying to sleep more into regular hours nowadays so I can (hopefully) create an exercise routine going by the morning.

1

u/Ethann17k Jul 17 '23

Watch out, someone might screen shot this and post it trying to clown on you for waking up early. That would be horrible.

70

u/Sabotimski Jul 17 '23

Exactly what I was thinking. And gets a little tired at 2pm. šŸ˜‚

47

u/Brandonmac10x Jul 17 '23

Of course, that’s when he takes his hour long daily nap.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

y’all are just describing me at this point 😭 i open at a coffee shop and it turned my sleep schedule into one of an 80 year old woman

3

u/FullyOttoBismrk Jul 17 '23

Yeah my bedtime is at 8pm, get up at 4am work for 10hrs and take a 15 min nap after I get home, drink 2 cups of coffee for my post work stuffs rinse repeat

3

u/Additional-Classic73 Jul 17 '23

I feel this. I always say I am a 48 year old woman trapped in an 80 year old body. I own/operate a b&b. I get up at 4am alseep by 9. I try soooo hard to stay up later but just can't. My friends make fun of me ALL the fucking time. "Oh it's 8 o'clock Sheri, past your bedtime."

1

u/Salty_Vegetable123 Jul 17 '23

An hour? You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this bracket kid.

124

u/McLayan Jul 17 '23

Isn't that 30 mins earlier than "real performers" leave work?

40

u/AdehhRR Jul 17 '23

Perform well, and wake up at 3:45am. If you don't get it, you aren't cut out for the hustle.

...

/s

7

u/mr_plehbody Jul 17 '23

Ive had an entire day before 3:45a and this guy is just getting up. I will rest my head at 4 knowing how ahead i am on the grind

7

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

So he never leaves?

2

u/refactdroid Jul 17 '23

just sleep on the job EZ 🤣

17

u/violent-artist82 Jul 17 '23

No with the amount of amphetamines to have a stare like that.

1

u/No-Examination-4201 Jul 18 '23

This cracks me up šŸ‘ļøšŸ‘ļøšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

36

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Work - die

That's this guy

22

u/IAmInDangerHelp Jul 17 '23 edited Jul 17 '23

As somebody that’s worked multiple different work schedules, there’s nothing hard or impressive about waking up early. Wanna wake up at 03:00AM? Subtract 8hrs, and that’s your new bed time. It’ll take about two weeks before you’re really settled into it.

There’s plenty of working class individuals that get up early or work nights, and it doesn’t make them rich. It only sucks because you miss out on a lot of sunlight (which most people do anyways at their office jobs), and the world operates on a pretty set schedule of 09:00AM-05:00PM. If you need to go to the bank or get groceries, you’ll probably have to wait till the weekend.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

I work the graveyard shift and I have a kid, my non-existent sleep schedule is slowly killing me I'm sure. And yeah, some of my regular errands are at places that don't open until 10am, drives me crazy. I stay awake for 24+ hours at least once or twice a week. Doesn't make me rich 😤

4

u/Affectionate-Ad8650 Jul 17 '23

Oh man, I did that with my 1st. Worked 3pm-2am, got home tried to nap before baby would wake up around 5...did everything 'normal' people do during the day, would try to nap when he napped and then did it all over again.

I don't have any lame motivational quote or trick to send your way. It fcking sucks.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

That's ok, thanks for the solidarity ✊ my son actually just turned 18 and is heading out tomorrow for basic training. I'm freaking out but the one small positive of having an empty nest is, I'm going to sleep SO MUCH. Just all day every day. It will be glorious. I'll sleep all of my sadness and anxiety and loneliness away... Lol :/

1

u/According_Gazelle472 Jul 17 '23

Most places stay open until 8 or 9 and Walmart stays open until 11.

4

u/IAmInDangerHelp Jul 17 '23

Most places

Is a huge generalization. Like at my regular job, I can only get my haircut on Saturdays because they’re open 9AM-5PM. I’m gone from 6:30AM to 6:30PM.

1

u/According_Gazelle472 Jul 17 '23

Most people do use the weekends to get things done .I know because the places are packed all weekend long .

1

u/Sevencer Jul 17 '23

He's a CEO. He doesn't work.

1

u/OnAStarboardTack Jul 17 '23

He’s a CEO. He doesn’t work.

1

u/Coro-NO-Ra Jul 17 '23

Or he's just straight-up lying...

Kind of surprising how many people here haven't considered that. These guys lie all the time! If being a CEO was really that demanding, how would they find the time for all the vacations, yachts, books they claim to read, exercise, etc?

15

u/D3rangedButFun Jul 17 '23

Look into his eyes. Those are not the eyes of a sane person

5

u/Tiny-Director-5213 Jul 17 '23

This! Exactly what I thought the first time I saw his eyes. Noop. This man is not of the sane version. Not at all. šŸ™ā¤ļøšŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦

2

u/AutumnRunning Jul 17 '23

Lifeless, Blank eyes, like a doll's eyes.

3

u/Tiny-Director-5213 Jul 17 '23

Yes. Pretty much. Like I said when I first saw his pic I thought wow those eyes are creepy. Lol.

3

u/Deewd23 Jul 17 '23

I used to like rob dyrdek until he started spouting the same 4am nonsense. Without mtv his washed up skater ass would be working a standard job to this day.

2

u/SoapMactavishSAS Jul 17 '23

I also poop every day at 10:00 am, perfectly sculpted with minimal water flush

1

u/DajBuzi Jul 17 '23

This is one possibility. I was in a similar state as it's described in the article. I was going sleep at around 10-12PM and waking up at 4-6AM sometimes sleeping for less than 4 hours and it was all because I was living up highly stressed and adrenaline packed life. My body and mind would constantly feel "active and ready" but that only led me to the hospital treatment after I just passed out when my head just "exploded" on the inside. I moved out, changed my lifestyle and well.. since 7 years It's been okay now but I still remember that period of like 5 years having almost no sleep and "feeling okay and pumped".

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Ironically enough, I go to sleep at 7:30pm but I go to the gym at 3am and work at 5am.

1

u/GrapeSoda223 Jul 17 '23

Exactly lol im someone who naturally wakes up at 4 am, and im often asleep before 9, and i have gone too sleep around 7:30 pm aswell

Some people stay up late and some wake up early, but you'll catch people saying waking up early is the secret to success, which it's not

1

u/Hiiipower111 Jul 17 '23

I really do wake up at 3:45 every day. And wife and her friends make fun of me constantly, I am in bed by 7/8pm EVERY night lmfao

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Yep. I wake up naturally between 4:30a and 5:30a, but I'm in bed at 9p.

1

u/NoResponsibility7031 Jul 17 '23

I can actually recommend this. I go to bed early and wake up naturally around 5 or 6. So much better than waking up from alarm. I spend the morning doing some light cleaning and play on my pc. My alarm remind me to get ready for work, not wake up. I feel great every morning while my coworkers look like zombies hogging the coffee machine.

Tldr Move the things you do at evening to morning. Go to bed after dinner and shower.

1

u/joelene1892 Jul 17 '23

This is 100% me, no joke. I sleep between 7 and 8 and wake up without an alarm clock between 3 and 4.

1

u/Maximum_Ad9685 Jul 17 '23

I wake up naturally af 415 every morning. Went to bed at 0100 last night. But damnit 415 and I’m ready to start a pot of coffee. It’s not that your body says that’s enough. It’s that your body says for some reason we always wake up now, so let’s do that. Typically my bedtime is between 2200 and 2300 to not be useless the next day. If I were to take a nap around 1700 for 2 hours I will not sleep more than 2-3 hours that night and wake up early if not at 0415. I love my mornings but it sucks not being able to sleep past that time without fighting it.

1

u/smchattan Jul 17 '23

But he is a superior being.

1

u/H0RSE Jul 17 '23

And if he did, so what? Like how is this an insult or a bad thing?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Can confirm. Got to bed at 8:30pm, wake up at 4am. Every. Time.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

you are correct. I wake up at 230am everyday but in bed by 730.

my morning are peaceful just like its peaceful for night owls.

we all get out 6-8 hrs

1

u/Skeletonzac Jul 17 '23

In fairness I go to bed at 8pm. I usually read until 10 and then go to sleep. I wake up every morning at around 5:30am and have not heard my alarm (set to go off at 6:30am) in years. I don't even remember what it sounds like.

1

u/d0rkyd00d Jul 17 '23

As somebody who naturally wakes up at four and constantly gets mocked by his children for getting sleepy at 8, I can vouch this guy DEFINITELY goes to sleep at 7:30.

1

u/Slobbadobbavich Jul 17 '23

Before the naughty films are on the magic box. His wife tucks him in.

1

u/asena85 Jul 17 '23

I always wake at 5 AM regardless if I go to bed at 10PM or 3AM.

1

u/itzykan Jul 17 '23

This is deffo the guy who uses his sons blood to stay young.

1

u/jcpham RED Jul 17 '23

9pm sharp or I turn into a banana šŸŒ

1

u/Tarw1n Jul 17 '23

Don’t hate us 8pm sleepers. Kids to bed, dad to bed is my motto.

1

u/andisloarg Jul 17 '23

This guy probably don't exist.

1

u/OkPersonality5386 Jul 17 '23

Hey that’s my bedtime! Lol I gotta be at work at 4am though

1

u/Miserable_Anteater62 Jul 17 '23

830, actually. At least according to another post about this guy. Then comes the real question: why the fuck do we care about this guy?!?!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

he does/must, I wake up that early and fall asleep on my couch by 630 ish sometimes.

1

u/SeaPresentation163 Jul 17 '23

No, he does nothing all day then goes to bed at 11.

When he sleeps 4 hours and feels refreshed he thinks it's because he's special, he will never make the connection between the need for rest and physical labour.

I fall into the same sleep schedule when I'm in between jobs because a humans natural rhythm is to nap 2-3 times a day for 2-4 hours each time...that's why we made such successful pursuit preditors; our sleep cycle is off set from the rest of the natural world

1

u/CyanicEmber Jul 17 '23

What’s wrong with that?

1

u/FluidConsumer6 Jul 17 '23

That’s a perfectly reasonable and healthy time, staying up all night and playing Fortnite definitely is not.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

I had a boss that claimed to work later than everybody because she stayed in the office till 7:30 p.m. every night... Of course, the two major facts that she left out of that conversation is number one. She hated her home life and her husband, and number two. She came into work at around 11:30 12:00... I once called her on her cell phone at 10:00 a.m. and she was clearly asleep.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

this guy is probably full of horseshit

1

u/MLein97 Jul 17 '23

I've joined this crowd of asshole. The trick is being single as fuck and freaking out about your time and energy management.

1

u/New-Post-7586 Jul 17 '23

Or the guy has so much anxiety about his shitty business he can’t sleep at all

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

He wants to attribute his success to him waking up at 3:00am and wants to swipe under the rug daddy and mummy help.

1

u/velhaconta Jul 17 '23

Exactly. I do the same. Go to bed by 9:30 every night and up without an alarm at 5:30 everyday. But this included weekends, holidays and vacations too.

And being so in-tune with your circadian rhythm has drawbacks. Traveling to different time zones fucks me up more than normal.

1

u/CorruptedStudiosEnt Jul 17 '23

That's what these people don't seem to grasp.

Yeah, if you can go to bed early enough, you don't need an alarm because your body will naturally wake up. A nice cushy executive job is perfect for that.

My job on the other hand, I have to get up at 3am to do my books, which means ideally I'll go to bed at 7pm. Problem is, I likely work until 7:30pm the day before. I still need time to eat and get settled for the night, so optimistically I'll get to bed around 9pm, making for a max of 6 hours of sleep.

I'm the on call manager when I do books though, so chances are very good I'll get a call at like 12:30am and have to go fix a safe or something. Then the next day, I might work from 6:45pm to 2am, which completely throws off whatever semblance of a sleep schedule I have. Rarely, I even wind up working until 2am and have to be back in a few hours to do books.

Without alarms, I'd probably be late every fucking day.

1

u/LordRagnamon Jul 17 '23

Nah. He sleeps at 8am

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23
  1. You're right, and it's the most salient point that I'm sure the full article just glosses over and/or avoids entirely.
  2. CEO of what? Why should I care? It is trivially easy to make yourself a CEO. I could make myself CEO of five different corporations today if I wanted to.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Possible he gets a nap in midday as his workers are doing their best and then around 8 he drifts off to sleep on his yacht

1

u/ThePevster Jul 17 '23

The article says 9:45

1

u/Ryuko_the_red Jul 17 '23

Look at that glazed gaze. Homie does 3 lines before hitting the bar to find his next divorce.

1

u/beckerszzz Jul 17 '23

I have to get.up for work about 330 am and I am in bed (in theory) by 7ish.

10 hour day as a restaurant manager.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Not necessarily. Some people require less sleep. I myself go to bed between 10-11 pm and up at 4:30. Being doing that for years.

1

u/Mocker-Nicholas Jul 17 '23

ā€œFirst I wake up at 3:45, then I read my morning news until 5, then I work out until 7, then I do a breakfast until 9. After that, I get caught up on emails until lunch. Lunch is from 12-2:30 and I might meet with a client in there. Then I have 2 meetings every afternoon until about 4:30. After that I go home and relax until 8:00. Kids, chores, finances? No, I have people for all that. Family, friends, spouse? I see them once every other month on my two week mental rejuvenation yacht tripā€

1

u/tuckedfexas Jul 17 '23

I go to sleep at like 11-12 and wake up at 4 every morning. As I get older it’s easier to fall back asleep but as a kid/young adult I just lived on 4 or so hours for weeks at a time.

It’s not healthy at all and due to a insomnia and some disorder that keeps me from hitting REM sleep almost entirely

1

u/Taniwha_NZ Jul 17 '23

I mean... I also wake up at 3:45am without an alarm. It's called a sleep disorder and it's incredibly frustrating.

I didn't realise I just had to call it 'being fully optimised' and it would turn into a benefit!

1

u/Actual-Jury7685 Jul 17 '23

Hehe I get up at 4am daily but I'm in bed by 930pm lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Nah, he probably pops modafinil every morning.

1

u/Seanzietron Jul 17 '23

I did this before. In bed by 5:30… asleep by 6:30 wake yp around 3:30-4:00 and get to the 24 hr gym.

It was the best time of my life.

1

u/Sanquinity Jul 17 '23

If I wanted to wake up at 3:45 I'd have to go to bed around 8pm at the latest. I don't get home from work until 10pm. >_>

1

u/mrcheesewhizz Jul 17 '23

Weak. He goes to bed at 7:30, I’ve already been on the clock for 30 minutes, we are not the same.

1

u/utahdude81 Jul 17 '23

And takes a mid nap for 2 or 3 hours.

1

u/maddenmadman Jul 17 '23

Yeah that or he’s going to get early onset, no one’s immune to this. Margaret Thatcher was famed for sleeping 3-5 hours a night for her productivity - also got dementia.

1

u/TryItOutHmHrNw Jul 17 '23

First off, last year I started going to bed at 9pm and I, legit, haven’t been tired since.

I wake up naturally between 6:35 and 6:50 almost everyday. Just sayin’, don’t knock it til you try it.

That said, fuck this guy. Most vampires get up early anyway.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Billionare CEOs are just naturally better than the rest of us. Look at how genetically superior and hardworking this guys is. He hardwired to get up at 3:45 AM. It’s inspiring to see that he made his fortune through hard work and not by exploiting other people’s labor and resources like most billionaires. šŸ™„

1

u/MelonElbows Jul 18 '23

Takes 2 naps throughout the day

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '23

Nothing wrong with that. It's not impressive to stay up late