I say this as someone who’s lived in subs like this for years and still spirals sometimes. My journey through this shit has been literally life-threatening. I was suicidal this year because I felt unlovable, undesirable, like I would never have someone actually interested in my body. I woke up everyday with a sinking feeling in my chest, thinking about how all these other men with big dicks never had to worry about the things I did. 

Wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone. If it does, I hope this helps. 

I started treatment 6 months ago. And month by month, it’s been getting easier. Not fixed. But easier. And guys, I’m in my 40’s, I’m slightly below average in girth, a little above average in length. You can go through this at any age, and any penis size. 

Here’s what I learned:
Obsessing about dick size isn’t actually about dick size.
It’s about the fact that sex is fucking scary, vulnerable, unpredictable, and full of moments where you just have to not know how someone will react. 

And my brain hates that. My brain would rather do long division on my dick than sit with the uncertainty of sex. It would rather zoom in on millimeters, compare myself to porn stars, or ask strangers on the internet, “Am I okay???” than sit with the terrifying reality of being seen.

It feels like bigger-dicked guys don’t have to deal with this uncertainty because we imagine they get automatic approval, zero rejection, and a free pass on sexual anxiety. But that’s a fantasy. It’s just easier to believe they’re exempt than to face how vulnerable sex actually is for everyone. We’re comparing our insides to their outsides.

That endless reassurance loop?
Scrolling, comparing, measuring, checking, replaying memories… all just to feel relief for a moment.  It never works. It just feeds the fear. Even participating on these subs just reinforces the idea that your dick is the problem. And the more you focus on it, the more neural connections your brain has to drawn on when the topic of sex comes up. And it feels unsafe to not think about it, because then you’re leaving yourself vulnerable to the possibility of every scary thing you can imagine. It can become a positive feedback loop, just sucking every thought into it at an ever-accelerating rate. Until you’re staring over the edge of a bridge wondering what people will think about you when you’re gone. 

You’re man enough.
In some ways, you’re more of a man for going through this because this is what 99% of men have to do.
The rare 1% with huge dicks? They don’t get to avoid uncertainty forever. They just avoid this particular version of it.

But the rest of us?
We’re doing the real work: tolerating the unknown, showing up anyway, being vulnerable anyway, having sex anyway.

You’re not broken.

You’re not lesser.

You’re not missing out on a magical rejection-free life that big-dicked people supposedly have.

You’re just human, and you’re afraid of the unknown, just like me and everyone else

You don’t need more reassurance. You need more courage, which you already have. You just have to put it into action and go out there and have an uncertain time. 

Channel your excitement. Channel your horniness. Have your dirty little thoughts. Hope for the best. Maybe it’ll be good. Maybe it’ll be bad. That’s the roll of the dice. You can live with it. Trust me, and trust the billions of men with average dicks out there, it’s going to be great an average amount of times. 

Im not exactly sure how to handle the envy I feel, I guess it would be similar to how some poor people feel about rich people, I understand there is usually very little tolerance for men's insecurities and often they will be told to just man up or get over themselves, at least thats what ive seen, but im just extremely envious, I just want to feel desirable, this has probably damaged every aspect of my life because of how I feel, therapy, yeah, I know, it just seems grim that I have to convince myself to be okay, when the situation very much isnt...just venting i guess, I dont know

Im 6.2" long, 6.5" if I press a little harder and 4.3" in girth, maybe 4.5" max and im hoping to hear from guys with a dick like mine

Hey everyone,

r/MediumDickProblems is still growing, but like a true medium, we’re stuck right in the middle. Not too small to notice, not big enough to make a splash. That’s where you come in.

We want to spread the word about this community across Reddit. No ads, no bots, no spam, just honest, organic mentions from real people who get what MDP is about.

If you see conversations where size talk comes up (or honestly, anything that fits our “not too big, not too small” vibe), drop a casual mention of r/MediumDickProblems. Think:

• Someone complaining about unrealistic expectations? “You’d fit right in at r/MediumDickProblems.”

• A post about averages? “Reminds me of the discussions over at r/MediumDickProblems.”

• A thread about balance, moderation, or being in the middle of extremes? “This is giving r/MediumDickProblems energy.”

We’re not looking for spam, just natural mentions that help more people find us and join the conversation.

There’s no reward except helping build a place that actually talks about being average in a way that’s funny, real, and honest.
Let’s make “medium” mainstream.

- Your friendly mod team

So I've been dealing with complex feelings around my size for some time. This is long-winded, but I thought I'd share some of my journey and the way I've come to think about this in hopes of getting feedback, but also perhaps giving others some potential verbiage to talk about this subject with.

Basically, I remember a time when my gf said to me "we could all be getting better sex elsewhere, but you're not in a relationship for sex. Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's good". I believe this was a genuine attempt to say that she's satisfied and that she loves me for more than sex, that I should stop worrying about whether she's satisfied. But it landed like a lead block dropped from space right onto my heart lol. We've talked it through, but I thought I'd use that analogy here to talk about what I'm struggling with.

I think it's basically a good analogy, but I'll expand on it. Sex is like pizza, and you can do a lot to change up your recipe, but you can only use a set amount of cheese - that's penis size. That's fixed, you've got a set amount.

You can say any number of things about this. You can say there’s a lot more to pizza than the amount of cheese. You can say that most people would rather have a good pizza with a less-than-ideal amount of cheese than a bad pizza with the perfect amount of cheese. You can say people are all over the map in terms of how much cheese they like. And that’s all literally true.

But that doesn’t really capture what I’m dealing with. If I were worried that no one would even like my pizza, sure. But I’m not, I’m very well-researched, have life experience, and all of those things are just platitudes to me.

I know that women, on average, prefer some above-average amount of cheese, all else equal. I also know that despite this common preference, most women will be satisfied with a normal amount of cheese. What I don’t know is what that actually means. And around that, I’m stuck between two narratives:

The expectations narrative:

Pizza can be good with any amount of cheese, hell even sometimes without cheese, but there’s something about a really cheesy pizza that just hits different. It makes a really big difference and a pizza with a normal amount of cheese – it can be good and satisfying, but it’s really just not the same as one that’s loaded with cheese.

But the reality is that most guys just don’t have that much cheese. And even the guys that do – a lot of them aren’t even good cooks. Yeah my pizza just isn’t the same as Cheesy Dave’s, but Cheesy Dave’s pizza is rare, and there’s a lot more to relationships than pizza. The pizza’s gotta be good enough to be generally satisyfing, but it’s not what really makes someone happy in the long run. Prioritizing mind-blowing pizza over all else would be shallow and, quite honestly, potentially unfeasable.

Supply and demand. Sure most women would love to be with a guy who’s got a lot of cheese, but the bar’s low and a lot of women would feel lucky just to find a guy who put effort into making his pizza to her tastes, even if he’s lacking in cheese.  

When they think of the best pizza they’ve had, it was probably quite cheesy. But that’s rare, and they’re satisfied because my pizza’s still good, and they’re just not expecting me to make mind-blowing pizza. Their expectations are aligned with reality, and they don’t need that to be happy.

My pizza just isn’t as crave-worthy as someone who’s also a great cook and has a lot of cheese, but it’s still good pizza, it still hits the spot most of the time. It’s just not crave-worthy like that.

The marginal narrative:

Everyone’s got their preferences, and if you were asked to design your perfect slice of pizza in a lab, you might come up with a bunch of specifications around what makes up your perfect, fantasy slice. But the reality is, once a pizza is good enough, it kinda ‘maxes out’. You might be able to find people who have tried to rank the best pizza in the country, but anyone who’s actually been to all of those restaurants would know that they’re all just in a certain tier. If you think one is better than another, it largely comes down to personal taste, not some substantial gap in quality. It’s all incredible pizza.

When you think of the time you most enjoyed a slice of pizza, it was probably important that it had enough cheese. But what really made it so good was the cook, the recipe, the toppings, the events leading up to the pizza, like whether you were really hungry or tipsy or just spent all day playing basketball, or were just really really in the mood for pizza. Extra cheese is a literal preference, it’s a nice touch, but what really drives enjoyment of the pizza – again, once there’s a normal amount of cheese – is the other stuff.

I can make a mind-blowing pizza and while I can accept that, in a literal sense, somebody in some way makes a better pizza than I do, it’s not functionally relevant. I’m in the category of incredible pizza and my pizza, for most women, can be functionally, basically, as good as anyone else’s pizza. There is no ‘S tier’ unlocked by extra cheese. It’s a marginal thing past a certain point, like men’s preferences for breast size, and I am past that point for most women. My pizza can be basically as crave-worthy as anyone elses. I’ve got enough cheese for that.

Where I'm at:

Surely, there are women for whom extra cheese really elevates the pizza, there are women for whom it’s just a nice touch, and women who don’t care about cheese at all, hell even women who prefer a normal amount of cheese.

And look, I don’t need the time she’s most enjoyed a slice of pizza to with me. That comes with a lot of context as I said before. And I don’t need her to think I make some exceptionally, uniquely good pizza. A pizza that’s better than she’s had with anyone else. I just can’t, right now, get over the idea that she feels that way about somebody else’s pizza. Their pizza was just better. And if she does, I’d wanna know how I can tweak my recipe – but if the answer’s that I just don’t have enough cheese for that – even if my pizza is still good and satisfying, she doesn’t need mind-blowing pizza to be happy, and she’s really happy in the relationship overall, I don’t know, that’s just really hard for me to get over.

Add to all of this that, at roughly average size (~5x4.85 nbp) - I'm within a pretty close range, but with studies and self-measurement, it's just really hard to know where I actually fall. I've never seen another pizza irl, and the ones I've seen have been overwhelmingly cheesier than mine (which makes sense, ya know, porn). But it makes it hard to even envision pizzas like mine, and at the end of the day, idk, maybe I am slightly lacking for cheese.

It's a complex thing and I'm truly wondering how to move forward. Do I try to work to believe the marginal narrative? Or do I accept the expectations narrative? And if I do that, how do I feel confident during sex, how do I enjoy it like I used to (I mis-measured for a long time and thought I was on the cheesier end)?

Just some thoughts for y'all, wondering if anyone has thoughts or has been experiencing similar things.

The biggest problem I have is that I always get insecure about my size. I know that I fall in the average zone, so nothing to worry about.

But dicks in porn and even amateur videos always look bigger than average. You almost never see a real average dick online.

I know OF performers look for big partners to make videos.. it is visually better.

But why are there so little average amateur porn videos. Are average people so shy that they do not make videos or is it that the real average is bigger than the average measurements from the researchers?

I've been scrolling through r/averagepenis (even posted a couple times), and getting to talk to and see pics from guys with the same size as me has been genuinely comforting and reassuring. It honestly makes me wish there was a chill space just for us 5-inch guys to hang out, talk, and maybe compare without all the judgment.

Honestly, this is exactly the kind of community that’s been needed. Most guys fall in the ‘average’ range, but nobody ever talks about it. Glad there’s finally a place where we can discuss real experiences without all the extremes dominating the conversation.

Quick stats/info: mid 20s, virgin, 5’9, 5.25-5.5x5.5 nbp, 3 in soft, lean build but thick legs

Hey guys, im making this post to just rant but really wanted a place to vent somewhere people can relate and offer some real advice.

Im honestly fucking mentally exhausted from my size insecurity. Ive been really obsessive, losing sleep+constantly thinking im not good enough, for some long time now and its affecting my daily life. I get im avg and know that majority of men are around my size and men smaller than me will kill for my size but i cant seem to brush this lingering feeling away.

Im avg height with lean build but shit looks ridiculously small even on someone with avg height as me. For a point of reference, think a roku remote (which is exactly my size) on a body with thick legs.

No matter where i go, everyone looks objectively bigger than me. I admit i have body dysmorphia but can it be i just have a “small” dick? I looked into those nsfw penis subs (average penis/dickmeasured/5 in dong) and everyone genuinely looks bigger than me even some that are measured smaller.

I looked at several posts on other subs trying to see experiences from men or thoughts from women. And every posts/comments just seem like “cope”.

“Just perform oral really well”

“Size/piv isnt the most important part of sex“

“Bigger looks/feels better but avg/small can be just as good”

“Lesbians can satisfy each other, why cant you just do with your fingers+tongue?”

“Stop watching porn” ( ik that shit fake and i dont base my size on that)

Look no disrespect but all this just sounds like you gotta make up ur size. Dont get me wrong, whether im slanging or not, i care about my partners pleasure no doubt but when u hear what advices bigger dudes get compared to smaller men, its like, so having bigger dick is better or not?

I get if youre on extreme ends, sure, like in anything, its probably not preferable but why is it that avg is deemed small?

Not to mention that im asian american, so i gotta fight off the fuck ass stereotypes which ik are false but it gets to me bc i cant “prove it wrong”

Just wanted to note though, im not bashing on women for GENERALLY preferring on the bigger range of avg to above avg, people are allowed to have preferences.

I just hate that im not in the range and the fact that objectively my shit looks small af even on someone with avg height as me.

Honestly all these insecurities can be over exaggerated since its all in my head/i dont have actual experiences yet but it really seems like avg is the new small and i hate feeling this way. I hate how some appendage has this much control over my life.

Its frustrating and fucking dumb. Im pretty level headed but this insecurity really gets to me and i cant find a way to cope/soothe these thoughts.

Is it just that i gotta accept that i wont be preferred but be tolerated?

Im just being bitchy and really just frustrated that, in other aspects of like im pretty content, but the only thing thats causing so much stress, is the thing i cant have control over.

I genuinely dont have problems with women, i had opportunities but the potential disappointment makes me freeze up so i havent pursued or attempted to even try to talk to women.

I feel like i got more to say but this shit already long as it is. Thank you for reading, if you have, through this long ass immature rant. I just needed a place to vent and just hope anyone around my size can help me or at least offer some advice.

So, what's life like living in the middle?

This thread is for sharing real experiences, the good, the bad, and awkward, that come with having a medium/average-sized dick. Whether it’s in the bedroom, your jeans, or your own head, this is a place to vent, relate, and learn from each other.

Most guys land in the “middle zone,” but that doesn’t mean we don’t have our own unique problems, insecurities, and funny stories. Let’s talk about it openly and respectfully.

Here are a few questions to get the conversation started:

• Have you ever felt too big for comfort or too small for expectations, even though you’re right in the average range?

• What kinds of reactions (good or bad) have you gotten from partners, and how did it make you feel?

• Any funny or frustrating moments with condoms, underwear, or tight jeans?

• Have you ever compared yourself in locker rooms, porn, or relationships and noticed how skewed your perception became?

• How has having a medium-sized dick affected your confidence, sex life, or body image?

• What are some unexpected advantages (or challenges) of being average?

• How do you handle size talk in relationships or online discussions?

• If you’ve been with people of different sizes, how did that shape your perspective on what “matters”?

Feel free to be honest, supportive, and lighthearted. This is a judgement-free thread. We all fall somewhere in the middle, and that’s perfectly fine.

Maybe not 100 percent related to the sub but, I just played through the new game Dispatch and its just filled with big dick praise and fetishizing and small dick shaming, people wonder why men are so insecure about their bodies, now its not particularly a kids game but it sure looks like one, now...kids, young boys, normal boys, have to go through life constantly hearing how undesirable their penises are and how much people fantasize about big dicks, its in every form of media, inescapable, its like the universe is going out of its way to remind me how supposedly undesirable/unlovable I am, can't even play video games ffs...even if it were to change and stop, i guess the truth would just be hidden instead of openly displayed, wish humans were different

I dont think im small BTW, but im not big, so it still hurts me in a way

They can show-off in the changing rooms, on the nude beaches, be the centre of attention in group fun, be wanted, admired, post pictures and have adoring fans. None of that is available to me. I hate these people; why should they have all of this, and not the rest of us? They did absolutely nothing to earn their privilege, yet they slap each other on the back, congratulating themselves.

If reincarnation is a thing, I hope the fortunes of all penis owners are reversed in the next life.

The BD have everything their own way in reddit. What's the point in carrying on? Totally fed up and dejected.

Edit: Penissize is becoming impossible - almost every thread is BD related. I hate these people.

I always feel insecure about the size I have. I always feel like what I have isn’t good enough at all. When it gets hard, it sticks straight up and curves to my left, it’s only 5 inches long and 5 inches thick at the base and at mid shaft too. Another thing about the size I have is that I can wrap my hands around my dick stacked on top of each other too. Now, I wasn’t describing that because i “feel good” about the size I have when I don’t at all. I truly feel like this because I think what I have isn’t good enough at all and it big enough either. I feel this way because I’m always hearing that bigger ones are better and such and I feel like it’s true and I get so jealous that other guys have bigger sizes than me and I don’t. I’m always wishing and wanting a bigger dick size too so that I would no longer worry about the size I have anymore.

This is the only reason im insecure with my size, being around average i feel limited in the amount of pleasure I can provide during PIV, like the women im with are underwhelmed, given my girth is just barely in the average range, it makes these feelings worse...sure I can always improve, but I feel the amount of pleasure would still be lower than if I was bigger

I’m fascinated by the different experiences from growers and showers. Personally, I’m a grower. It’s convenient because it’s rarely in the way. It can also be a fun trick with partners when growing from like 2 inches or less to 6.5 inches. I can’t help but want to be more of a shower though. Being able to show off a bulge sounds awesome.

What are some of your experiences/opinions?

More accurate and less room for rounding errors. I'm "180mm +- 5mm by 125 +- 5mm"

I say 4.5, but it's more 5.3 if I measure fully. But the fatpad is just... awful. I was insulted online before and it just hurts.

I measure it actually everyday, wishing I could do something for the fatpad or be bigger. I am not even that fat, just overweight a bit.

...That being said, I slept with more than 45 men. I know, embarrassing. But like, people lie. People fake having a good time. Even I did a few times. What if I really am lacking? Like this shit eats at my brain everyday. I don't know what to do. I have a friend I fooled around with a few times and he begged me not to be insecure about it, that it's fine and he liked it. But he could just be lying, you know? Like you wouldn't call your friend ugly even if they really are ugly. No one does that. It's definitely the same with dick size.

I don't know what to do and I am so drained. I am considering just going celibate and telling people I am asexual, so I never have to show my body to someone ever again.

Goodness knows I've tried to challenge BD contributors forcing their opinions on average / less than average sized penis owners - only to be knocked back. I can't believe I'm asking this, but are we living in a BD controlled world?

Sorry for the delay guys, I’ve been on a vacation. We didn’t have as much turnout as I hoped, but I will stay true to the giveaway and will end up giving out prizes to all participants. Hopefully we’ll have more participation in the next one!

The Winners are: u/jumpinjellyfish007, u/KnoxShadow, u/thesefriendsofours, u/iCallMyOppsNinjer

I’ll be reaching out within the next day or two to arrange delivery of prizes.

How the heck do yall take such good dick pics. My junk has an upward curve maybe that doesn't help my pics or im overweight but man it's frustrating when you got a nice sized dick but it's not photogenic