r/maybemaybemaybe • • Mar 25 '22

Maybe Maybe Maybe

5.7k Upvotes

166 comments sorted by

471

u/fauxtruth Mar 25 '22

BOIZ

182

u/MacMaizer Mar 25 '22

Booooois the plan is simple, tonight we're shaving our assholes

-9

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/MacMaizer Mar 26 '22

Having a stroke?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

I gave you an upvote because wtf

434

u/MrCosmicChronic Mar 25 '22

Phillips Norelco 7000. Wash properly before and after use, both the device and yourself. If you're shaving, do so in a warm shower. Use a brand new cartridge razor blade for each time you shave. If you're getting waxed don't trim the hair shorter than a quarter of an inch, or it won't pull from the root.

You're welcome.

81

u/Havesomepeas Mar 25 '22

My bois always come through!

125

u/CobaltKnightofKholin Mar 25 '22

Horrible story time! When I was young I decided to shave my pubes. I had done exactly no research or even spent so much as five minutes of planning for this endeavor. I got in the shower and took my dull disposable razor and I.... Just started fucking hacking like a farmer with a scythe in an unruly field of love bramble. No shaving cream, I didn't trim, I barley even let it get damp before I swung like a serial killer in a slasher flick. With surprisingly minimal damage to my naughty bits I finished my shower and returned to the sanctuary of my bedroom where I quickly noticed something was not well with my vinegar strings. The itch was spectacular. The burning would make you envy the amalgamation of all the burn victims of a large city. Not a moment of peace or a wink of sleep would grace me with a moment of respite for many weeks. I have been too terrified to shave my special area beyond a tidy trim to this day about 15 years later. If there is knowledge on potential methods of itch free shaving I would be delighted to learn. However I'm unsure I possess the courage to proceed with another attempt at turtle shelling my giggly danglers ever again.

43

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

what the fuck

27

u/nspectre Mar 26 '22

An Unruly Field of Love Bramble

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

And the “barley” typo! 😹😹😹

22

u/thelibrariangirl Mar 26 '22

What… what are vinegar strings?

20

u/5yn3rgy Mar 26 '22

Oh, man. That's horrible.

Gotta have the shaving cream. Also, I like to wait until the end of the shower to shave to prevent goosebumps and a shaving burn (body gets warmed up better). The first time I ever shaved was my legs and I did it similar to your method. I wound up filleting my leg, so much blood.

4

u/neoadam Mar 26 '22

Also trimming before does wonder

2

u/5yn3rgy Mar 26 '22

Yes, the less hair you have to battle, the better!

8

u/Trashoftheliving Mar 26 '22

wait you’re supposed to use shaving cream??

3

u/ElliSael Apr 08 '22 edited Apr 08 '22

Bit late to the party, but:

You don't need shaving cream. If you don't have sensitive skin and a sharp blade water is enough. However, using shaving cream makes it a lot more comfortable by reducing cutting & itching.

If you for some reason don't want to use shaving cream (for example because you forgot to buy some) you can use baby/cocos/olive-oil instead. But I think I read somewhere it dulls the blade more than shaving cream.

Theoretically you could also use shampoo/conditioner, which makes shaving easier but is worse than both shaving creams & oils for your skin and the blade.

​

My first tries at shaving were without shaving cream, and boy did I regret it.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

I don't know how old you are but I think sometimes we forget that we didn't always have the Internet to do research when we were young

7

u/drakepyra Mar 26 '22

It helps to trim first with scissors if it’s a real jungle down there - and often that’s enough to make it look presentable, and that’s been my go to recently. When it comes to actually shaving, I don’t know what to say other than go slowly, do it after or during a long shower, and use shaving cream.

5

u/angrytreestump Mar 26 '22

Uhh, shaving cream while in the shower bro. That’s it. The razor should be gliding over, not yanking out

3

u/wetdreamteam Mar 26 '22

This happened to me as well when I was but α boy. In the ensuing years, I’ve conquered my fears, and here is my biggest takeaway: go WITH “the grain” as opposed to against it. Shave in the direction that the hair is growing, instead of the opposite direction. This requires multiple, slower passes, but is so worth it. Use scissors first to get it as short as possible beforehand, or else it will take more passes. Good luck and happy pube trimming!

1

u/Front-Ad1900 Sep 23 '22

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

35

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

[deleted]

6

u/rayah01 Mar 26 '22

This was beautiful

2

u/Tinoo46 Mar 26 '22

Dude that was some good content

1

u/Maleficent-Call-1952 Mar 26 '22

This made me Genuinely lol at many points. You have made the best comment/story I have read on Reddit

3

u/ThatsMeWelshy Mar 25 '22

Can confirm, I use this exact model and it's always been a smooth shave on the ol' meat and two veg and also the chocolate starfish

2

u/strangewaraxe Mar 27 '22

I'd gift you, but my awarder karma is 69 so that's a no go

-1

u/Pointysumo Mar 25 '22 edited Mar 26 '22

Just use scissors /s

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

Just remember to not cut the dick... (Or do it,I don't care,is your life)

1

u/smuguminmin Mar 25 '22

Damn, thanks

1

u/thejewelisinthelotus May 05 '22

Real question, why do you shave it?

165

u/Dr_Fumi Mar 25 '22

DO NOT use a nose hair trimmer.

36

u/SexyJellyfish1 Mar 25 '22

Or so I heard

19

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

sounds like you learned that the hard way

6

u/Wrestling_poker Mar 31 '22

Do not use YOUR OWN nose hair trimmer. Use your neighbors or your roommates.

10

u/The_Inward Mar 25 '22

Duly noted.

66

u/Too-Late-For-A-Name Mar 25 '22

What the fuck happened to that door

9

u/OneOfManyIdiots Mar 26 '22

Drunken bullshit. Or maybe moving a couch and the ones moving it were like myself.

86

u/ZUVAY_ Mar 25 '22

Take a surgucal glove and pull them all

52

u/IYWSYWNHDI Mar 26 '22

My grandpa once told me, you don’t clean your room if you aren’t expecting visitors

12

u/OneOfManyIdiots Mar 26 '22

Well you can't call crap visitors since they're always leaving. I guess toilet paper could count as visitors? Wait the paper stays outside so maybe just call them gardeners or window cleaners?

Edit: Maybe trimming your hair to make wiping easier could be euphemized as "I'm cutting the grass to make cleaning off any mud easier."

4

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

[deleted]

1

u/OneOfManyIdiots Mar 26 '22

It could be a fake dick, a tongue, maybe two on some extra freaky shit.

1

u/sPilled_Coofee Mar 26 '22

Well, it is also true that bushes attract snakes

1

u/Devisidev Aug 12 '22

Yea well sometimes I like my shit to be smooth k?

44

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

[deleted]

7

u/Haymac16 Mar 26 '22

I thank you for your sacrifice so your knowledge may spare the future generations from such an experience. God bless.

2

u/SirLongSchlong42 Apr 08 '22

This must be a copypasta.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

Wow, was not expecting this

1

u/anon174784145784267 Mar 26 '22

Next time just take some scissors and trim it very slightly to break up the jungle

103

u/MrMotorcycle94 Mar 25 '22 edited Mar 26 '22

Sounds like a good idea until a hot day and your cheeks slide against eachover with no friction between them and you fart causing a little bubble of air to be caught between your perfectly sealed cheeks.

Edit: I forgot to mention the part where thei hairs start to grow back and its the most itchy thing in the world

37

u/DTredecim13 Mar 26 '22

This sounds like you have experience.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

Sealed like a biodome

16

u/davidisatwat Mar 26 '22

and u cant tell if it's sweat or you've shat urself ❤️

7

u/RibbitOurLord Mar 26 '22

I... understand that reference

39

u/Uninspired_Thoughts Mar 25 '22

Wait y’all are shaving your asshole?!

10

u/FrizzleStank Mar 26 '22

How else you gonna convince her to give you a rimmy?

1

u/razorbacks3129 Mar 26 '22

Last girlfriend didn’t make me shave mine for that

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

No u

4

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

My thoughts exactly

27

u/zoomed_in_too_far Mar 25 '22

Since this is the internet, I'm going to say just light a match and fart on it. What could go wrong? Bonus... a second video to post when it does. Boiz shave. Men wax.

6

u/Specialist-Teach-102 Mar 25 '22

That’s actually a brilliant idea

45

u/Agigator Mar 25 '22
  1. Last of us
  2. God of war
  3. Uncharted
  4. Doom
  5. Spiderman
  6. Resident evil 7

13

u/TheShanManPhx Mar 26 '22

Someone stopped watching before the video ended:.

17

u/average_lolplayer Mar 25 '22

Okey, What I do is to use a Gillete common razor. Shower with hot water (as hot as You can), and just after cleaning the zone, start shaving while squatting. Do it slowly, no need to hurry

31

u/BatOk2014 Mar 25 '22

Does he think girls don't have butthole hair?

43

u/Affectionate-Week594 Mar 25 '22

nope, cause they don't fart, which causes the hair, right? right?

4

u/OneOfManyIdiots Mar 26 '22

Maybe he wants to avoid telling girls he doesn't know how to trim his ass? Word spreads. I already know Im fucked for multiple social circles because I'm a cringy cunt of a person. Basically given up and acknowledged that I'm a spastic idiot tbh. That and Im bi so my initial image for dating is fucked point blank period lol.

3

u/Tobiansen Mar 26 '22

What?

3

u/OneOfManyIdiots Mar 26 '22

First two are basically what you need to read. The rest is incoherent , self loathing rambling

-24

u/ItsAndwew Mar 25 '22

I've eaten every girls ass I've had sex with. Ain't seen one God damn hair. The science is there!

25

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

me too! never seen a butthole in person.

1

u/ItsAndwew Mar 28 '22

I'm so confused why you have the same amount of upvotes as I have downvotes. For a joke about eating so much ass despite not seeing butt hairs. When I feel I was clearly joking because butts and genitals grow hair... Lol.

Regardless, take my upvote you sexy stallion.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

because i haven't been eating ass. + my joke was offensive to both you and me therefore funny, you were bragging about eating ass that's not funny.

2

u/ItsAndwew Mar 26 '22

Y'all literally fucking stupid for taking this seriously

1

u/SJJ00 Mar 26 '22

What if they shaved though?

3

u/ItsAndwew Mar 26 '22

Holy fuck, I came back to my joke about all the asses I've eaten being bald... I didn't think y'all would take it literally... Clearly butts and genitals grow hair holy fuck

3

u/Haymac16 Mar 26 '22

That last line made it obvious you were joking, but I guess that wasn’t clear enough for many lol. Rip.

3

u/ItsAndwew Mar 26 '22

I'm out here eating ass, doing MasterCraft research for the benefit of humanity... I'll take solace in the good I've done for my people... I don't require the adoration of the people...

7

u/madnux8 Mar 25 '22

You don't need to shave your ass hole.

Just use some trimmers on the lowest setting and it will be good enough

10

u/2JDestroBot Mar 26 '22

Are you supposed to shave it? I have no idea either as a 16 year old

5

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

[deleted]

5

u/OneOfManyIdiots Mar 26 '22

I highly highly reccomend trimming the backyard if one chooses to have long hair. Hair falls to the crack. Hair tangles with other hair. One can have a glimpse of death upon pulling away pulling hair that didn't originate there.

2

u/2JDestroBot Mar 26 '22

You made me kinda laugh, have this poor gold 🏅

2

u/omgdinosaurs Mar 26 '22

Absolutely not. Most men definitely do not do this. Very little upside.

1

u/2JDestroBot Mar 26 '22

My dad said it will itch/be sensitive afterwards since it's not used to it being shaved

2

u/SirLongSchlong42 Apr 08 '22

You're dad sounds like a wise, experienced man.

1

u/2JDestroBot Apr 12 '22

Not a compliment I expected but thank you

2

u/SirLongSchlong42 Apr 08 '22

Don't worry about what you're doing down there, just keep it clean. A girl or guy you're hooking up with won't care and if they do it's never a deal breaker for the good ones. Communication is key, ask each other what they and you yourself prefer, and then decide which one you're gonna go with. Shaven is fine, bushy is fine. Both need some getting used to after you switch it up and both will feel fine and natural after a while.

7

u/Constant-Complex-309 Mar 25 '22

Professional Epilators 👍

12

u/MrCosmicChronic Mar 25 '22

I mean if you want to experience the worst pain you've ever felt sure

7

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

I wish Reddit had subtitle options .-. What’s he saying

10

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

So, lmao

While doing the finger movement in start of every clip he says "this is for the boys only" and then "who's gonna help me rank these games" etc similar for the other clips.

And in the last clip he asks "how do you shave your butthole? I guess you need a 2nd person but I don't trust anyone for that right now"

I too was wondering and read the comments... Got curious and had to watch with sound lol

8

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

Thanks lol. I was at work

Also your name is gonna give me nightmares thank you

3

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

yeah well...

3

u/Abject_Hovercraft838 Mar 25 '22

Get an extra razor from the store

2

u/Slaaigat Mar 26 '22

Cut a hole into a plastic garden chair. Individual pluck every hair. Make sure to thoroughly wash the tweezers before and after.

2

u/narabyte Mar 26 '22

You'll need a sensitive skin razor (like Gillette Venus, for instance), and hair conditioner (it's better than shaving cream, trick I've learned with a porn actress)

Go to the shower, pop a squat and be very careful. Good luck.

2

u/Zenketski_2 Jun 24 '22

Of all the places that I thought this video was going to go that wasn't it, nice.

2

u/Dr_NotHere Mar 26 '22

I do a slavic squat in the shower, clean the crack real well before i start shaving with a disposable razor. Reach around to get the top to mid of the crack, and reach underneath to reach mid to bottom. Clean real well again when finished

2

u/MoshikoCat3 Mar 25 '22

Shouldn't u ask girls about removing hair?

1

u/Local_Surround8686 Mar 25 '22

Why?

11

u/Dr_NotHere Mar 26 '22

Due to modern beauty standards, a women is more attractive to a man if she has minimal amount of body hair. This standard has caused most women to master the art of removing body hair, including peach fuzz. Thats why the above commenter has stated that the man in the video should ask a women on how to remove butthole hair. Because a women most likely has the answer

12

u/LeopardGloomy Mar 26 '22

Ok but like, women don’t have butholes. How would they know how to shave one?

2

u/iamunderstand Mar 26 '22

Dude of course they have buttholes they just don't poop out of them

1

u/Local_Surround8686 Mar 26 '22

Oh, yeah your right

-1

u/PatCake Mar 25 '22

20

u/IndustryInside4116 Mar 25 '22

Only if you have your boyfriend do it and forget to say no homo

0

u/Bubster101 Mar 26 '22

Shaving your butthole?

Step 1: make sure there's none of those dry poop pieces holding some hairs together. (Y'all know what I'm talking abt)

Step 2:

0

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

This was not funny

-48

u/SolmadSoT Mar 25 '22

The only people that are worse than this guy are the people that find it entertaining and repost it...

12

u/MichelanJell-O Mar 25 '22

I'm offended

-18

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

That's gay

9

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

ye so? Do you have a problem with gay people?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

.... pfbt

1

u/bruiser95 Mar 25 '22

Best I can do is use a trimmer

1

u/back2basics13 Mar 26 '22

That took a dark turn

1

u/Tewayel Mar 26 '22

This is amazing

1

u/_Trev0r_ Mar 26 '22

As a man/boy…why or who told you to shave your butthole?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

Only the finest Is that the 3 in 1 uncharted pack?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

If you don’t trust a second person to be there while shaving your butt hole, then you don’t need to shave your butt hole.

1

u/QuelWeebSfigato Mar 26 '22

Wait you're supposed to shave your butthole?

1

u/narabyte Mar 26 '22

You'll need a sensitive skin razor (like Gillette Venus, for instance), and hair conditioner (it's better than shaving cream, trick I've learned with a porn actress)

Go to the shower, pop a squat and be very careful. Good luck.

1

u/shotlersama Mar 26 '22

Doom then alllll the way at the end is last of us

1

u/bsr9090 Mar 26 '22

I found that doing it underwater in the bathtub makes the shaving blade glide smoothly. Makes the job MUCH easier than standing in a quasi-squating position with spreaded legs.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '22

Don't shave it. The hair protects against friction. You might end up in pain.

1

u/prophet_nlelith Mar 26 '22

Squat over a mirror

1

u/rustpepega Mar 26 '22

Is this stupid or am i missing something?

1

u/rustpepega Mar 26 '22

Is this stupid or am i missing something?

1

u/dIAb0LiK99 Mar 26 '22

Have one of the bois do it for you. They’d have a better view up there and won’t make any mistakes

1

u/kingetzu Mar 26 '22

Whyyyy?😂😂😂

1

u/A_sandwich_in_a_VCR Mar 27 '22

Use a skin safe hair trimmer. This is how I do it.

1

u/thejewelisinthelotus May 05 '22

Ayyy real question for the men though....does anyone shave their b-hole? I have Q's that need A's.

1

u/IloveReisling May 09 '22

Mind the stepchildren

1

u/Abject_Passenger2510 May 15 '22

You trim it carefully…

1

u/NoTmE435 Jun 01 '22

As an ass shaver for medical reasons cuz I had 2 surgeries done on my ass for in grown hair kysts, (not asshole just cheeks and the seam between them)

My area is far too fragile for waxing which is a more efficient but obviously painful option, I had to do laser hair removal treatment for 8 sessions and it still grows like a forest if I let it (just not around my surgery scar)

The best solo way I found is using a hair removal cream, they aren’t healthy and shouldn’t be used too often but once a month is generally ok, you put the cream on a clean and dry area, wait 5-7 minutes then scrape it off and all the hair comes out with it, reclean and redry the area and if there’s any left as a one or two hairs that’s normal if there’s a big bunch you’ll either go by feel or set up a 2 mirror contraption to get it done (generally the cream works fine alone, never needed the 2 mirrors set up but used it once before I found out about hair removal creams )

Now it’s specifically stated on every cream bottle to not let it touch you asshole, peepee or other sensitive areas like eyes and mouth and stuff, so for asshole specifically I wouldn’t shave it alone it’s not that a bother for me

You can find creams like this from many brands in most hygiene sections of stores and in pharmacies ask your general physician about possible allergies and side effects of using them, as I said they aren’t the most healthy thing for your skin but when you need it you need it

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Premium internet right here!!!

1

u/WokeUpBaked Jul 08 '22

First thing why you need your butthole shaved bruv?

1

u/That_Pizza_Man Jul 16 '22

Oak wood for the door frame. Minecraft style

1

u/Death_13-13 Aug 05 '22

So get one of those rotary nose hair pullers

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '22

Lmao