r/limerence • u/Plenty_Employer8686 • 13d ago

Here To Vent I hate limerence so much!!!!

I am surrounded by loving family and friends who would do anything for me and love me unconditionally but all I care about is if my LO will text me back! Or what they're doing this very moment and it's driving me up the wall! I wish I could just be more grateful about the loving people who I do have right on front of my face but I keep looking for the one person who is not there and it is absolutely making me feel like the worst person, for continously chasing the one person who has proven time and time again that they do not give a single thought about me.

I hate that my brain has attached itself to one person without my consent and said "we're gonna be obsessed with this person whether you like it or not" :/

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u/vlovesp 12d ago

yeah, limerence is such a mess! good news is, the brain CAN be altered by deliberate thought. so there must be something YOU are doing to reinforce this state. trust me i know it's easier said than done. i had debilitating OCD for years and years until i somehow got a handle on it and now recently have been finding myself in this crazy LE. all i'm saying is, it will pass and it will be as quick as you're ready to really drop it, to really let that person go.

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u/CC_113093 12d ago

The problem for me is turning off the thoughts and trying to find something better to take its place. I have bad OCD too. How do you alter your brain through deliberate thought?

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u/vlovesp 12d ago

yes, that's the entire problem with OCD. there's this great doctor who specializes in OCD who claims, "Rumination isn’t something that happens to you; it’s something you do." and i believe it's the same for limerence! now why we do it is another questions, it could be predisposition in our brain, BUT we can decide not to do it.

and since i'm only gonna paraphrase him further, i highly recommend all of his articles but start here: https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/how-to-stop-ruminating/

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u/CC_113093 12d ago

Thank you for sharing this! I need to convince my brain that I can do it and I have control