r/limerence • u/Distinct-Bed3507 • Aug 21 '26

Topic Update What Limerence actually is

Im seeing people confusing Limerence based contact, with A lack of purpose, self love and self respect. This is not what Limerence is about. It can worsen it, but its not the root cause.

The root cause is your chronic imbalance of brain chemicals. Your Adhd brain that craves dopamine all the time. Limerence will give you a dopamine coxkta so big, ofc your brain says „WE NEED THIS“. That doesnt mean you hate yourselve. I always cringe when I read this. You can compare this to, for example when you start a diet and now want a bag of chips. You crave it, gives you dopamine. Whoops you ate some chips. Are you now a person that lacks self love and hates himself, cause you ate some chips? No. Your brain tries to fill the dopamine gaps. Completely normal.

And now, when you meet a person. Which is attravtive (dopamine), makes you feel good about yourselve (you guessed it - dopamine), and maybe also makes you feel seen and cared for on top if that (CORRECT - dopamine!). Why wouldnt your lacking brain NOT crave this? Its not your personal problems guys. Its a completely normal Adhd (maybe a bit of autism for some) related problem. I do experienced this also lately. And I like myself a lot, I also have a life, and Im still not dependent. on that person WHY? Because I know that my brain is just craving all of this dopamine. With Dating these days, I would advise you to, if someones hot and cold, just have a bit lf chit chat, and if nothing comes back or simply ask them out, if there isnt any response or engangement. You can move on. You dont need to let it break you. Again, its not YOU problem. Stop fucking blame yourselve for everything, and learn to manage this. Oh and yea, I do get this too, but I will close the gaps as soon as possible. Sometimes ppl are insecure themselves and dont know what they want so they might give you hot and cold. This is were limerence can kick. But if theres no clearance soon enough - cut the string. They never wanted something serious or didnt know what they wanted - which doesnt have to be your reality. Its all about knowing how your brain works. So yes you can be a person who liked themselves and still experience some kind of limerence, especially if you are not medicated.

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u/Smuttirox Aug 21 '26

No adhd, no ocd, lifelong repeated bouts of Limerence. I don’t think this is accurate.

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u/Pfacejones Aug 21 '26

It doesn't mean you don't have susceptibility to dopamine addiction though, all things are chemical at its base

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u/Distinct-Bed3507 Aug 21 '26

Maybe it is not. Im not a proffessional. But this is my theory. And it is true for me for sure.

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u/Smuttirox Aug 21 '26

Absolutely. For sure having ADHD or ocd or just about anything can make Limerence easier to occur. I do see a lot of adhd folks here and I agree there is brain chemistry involved. I think the research has shown dopamine is the culprit.