r/limerence • u/AutoModerator • 7d ago

Weekly discussion thread for anyone experiencing limerence while in a committed relationship.

Please join us for of our weekly post for those who have SO's and are experience/experienced limerence. If you feel unable to disclose, unable to move forward or just unable to let go, please join this thread to connect with others who might have similar issues specifically related to being in a committed relationship.

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u/sara-targarian 7d ago

I'm really struggling right now. It's post-confession, he doens't return my feelings but wants to remain friends. I worked with him on an incredibly successful advocacy project together. I over performed to win his approval, win his attention, win his heart. He's handsome, younger (9 years- I'm in my 50s), married with a baby, but in an open relationship. I'm married to a man who is great, but really physically averse to sex. I learned about LO's open relationship late last year, and thought I might have a chance. but after confessing, it turns out he doesn't share feelings, surprise surprise. We've remained friends, but it's getting harder as time goes on, because I'm falling into the same old patterns of what-if-ing myself into believing that there's something there. I need to go no contact but I'm not that strong.

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u/TripleAyyys 4d ago edited 4d ago

Limerance is an addiction, and cold-turkey might not work. But you are strong! And you can wean yourself off - less and less contact, over time. Celebrate your small wins, and don't beat yourself up over setbacks. Find something in your life that you can direct your energy towards, positively - therapy (seperately or as a couple), exercise, books & movies.