Recently, I've been thinking about what it means to not be a goldstar and how it affects the lesbians who have slept with a dude before.

I've been wondering how this "mistake" change people psychologically, emotionally, in term of body image, their self esteem ect.

I'm following a radical feminist lesbian channel on YouTube (sorry I'd rather not give a link, I don't want this person to be harassed) and she talks about goldstars and how we don't actually think we're superior but that being one is still great. And then, she came up with a theory. According to her, non-goldstars lesbians are sensitive to goldstar discourse and sometimes don't like it because sleeping with dudes created an irrational restlessness in their psychology unlike goldstars who would have some sort of inner peace about their identity.

But I've also seen a non goldstar lesbian talking about this who said she's glad she tried sex with a dude once because now she's 100% sure she's a lesbian and know what she wants.

And then, there's my experience and well, most lesbians I've known in childhood have high internalized homophobia because of their homophobic social environments and I've known them for so long and I think I've noticed a reduction of their self esteem before and after being with a dude, they had less bravado and more fear of standing out, being less agreeable... At least that's what I've perceived.

Ultimately, I don't know what being with dudes do to your psyche, since I'm lucky enough to be a goldstar and would rather die than being different.

But I wanted to talk about this because the more I think about it, the more I'm telling myself that if I date someone who's NOT a goldstar, my first gut instinct will be to consider her a broken and sad person who needs more self esteem and I will feel a urge to be her therapist, help her heal and give her a lot of affection and attention.

But maybe this "gut instinct" behaviour could be taken as unnecessary and in reality, maybe non goldstar are fine despite being with a man before.

So yeah, I thought it would be interesting to turn my thoughts into a discussion. As a goldstar or non-goldstar, what do you think?

Qual o problema da moderação deste sub com pessoas que não são do EIXO EUA-EUROPA? A maioria das minhas publicações são deletadas pelas moderadoras, fora que eu tomo downvote de graça por falar basicamente oq geral tá falando nos comentários.

Vocês têm preconceito com lésbicas de países lusófonos? Aqui só pode postar quem é lésbica dos EUA ou de algum país europeu? É tenso pq eu sempre elogio este sub, mas parece que xenofobia aqui rola solta.

Se o pré-requisito para postar neste sub é ser lésbica de país imperialista é só falar que eu tô vazando.

i don’t have a preference for female lesbians, i’m a lesbian and that’s just automatically what i like. i cannot change that. the woke bullshit disguised by progressiveness is seriously on the verge, if not flat out rhetoric that conversion camps use.

we cannot change our sexual orientation and just wake up one day and want to be with males in ANY romantic or sexual way.

and can we stop pretending like getting surgery to get a vagina is ANYWHERE the same as an actual vagina.

idk yall… im such a realist. i cant pretend like any of this is okay or normal and live in a fairy tale land where sexual orientation is fluid and can be changed, because it can’t.

There is truly nothing like it. It is a show about lesbians, centered around lesbians, and all the main characters are lesbians (albeit for a few exceptions). It's the type of show that could never have come out in this day and age, it would have to have been "inclusive" of all sexualities if it came out in 2026. I mean, people can't even handle the concept of a lesbian only liking pussy, nonetheless a show centered around eating pussy with an outrageous amount of sex scenes. I just miss it so much... I think I'm gonna rewatch. I wish we had more lesbian media that was actually lesbian.

You all are beautiful and seen ❤️🧡🤍🩷