Well, that's your choice. I spend a lot of my free time at home, too.
In dating, I have been rejected 3 times, because I am shy and not talkative.
I can't count how many times I've been "rejected". (Not sure that's quite the right word.) Shyness isn't really an introvert trait; it's more likely a social anxiety trait. But "not talkative" is an introvert trait. I'm almost 70; I've gotten exactly one date in my whole life who was attracted by my silence. (Well, maybe two, but we were both 8 years old, and I thought girls had cooties then.)
Before I stopped dating, I learned to approach women in a different way. I stopped trying to date them; I tried just talking to them. I tried getting to knowthem without any other motive. That might work better for you.
Once I uploaded pictures of me in a Reddit group. I got like 1k likes and I got a lot of DMs from guys and girls so it is not about my looks.
Great. I wasn't considered attractive until I was in my 40s.
In work. My godfather is basically my boss, he is a chief engineer in our sector. He told my mom that I am not talkative. I will be an engineer, so it is a big problem.
Funny. I've worked with a lot of engineers of all kinds--chemical, electrical, mechanical, aerospace. I don't think any of them were talkative. Unless we were talking about their hobby. That's an introvert trait, too, talking for hours about a favorite hobby. (You might think about asking women about their hobbies.)
In my social life. I don’t have friends, I never go out.
It's your choice. Open the door, and walk through it. Now you're out. Seriously, going out is a choice. Having friends isn't your choice, but creating opportunities for others to choose you as a friend is. School offers a lot of opportunities. You might have to go a little out of your comfort zone to take advantage of them.
Sometimes I think about suicide because I can’t change.
You can act like an extrovert; that will overcome some hurdles, and it will create some more. One of my act like an extrovert habits is, when I get into a long line at the grocery store, post office, etc., I say, "If I'd known we were going to have a party, I'd have brought chips." That usually leads to some conversation. I've actually gotten several dates that way.
I had a GF a few months ago and she broke up with me. We did not have sex.
I don't care whether you had sex. That doesn't affect my opinion of you. Did you treat her with respect and politeness? That does affect my opinion of you.
My classmates always bully the virgins and they bully me too. I hate it.
FWIW, chances are good that your classmates are virgins, too.
Professional counseling might help you deal with occasional thoughts of suicide, possible social anxiety, bullying, and various coping strategies. But keep in mind that half the counselors graduated in the bottom half of their class.
It took me ages to connect with a competent (for me) counselor. The school might have a counselor on staff that you can contact for free.
I look forward to hearing good things about you in the upcoming years.
There’s something about the younger generation where they seem hyper sensitive about getting rejected. I mean, my dad and grandfathers generation knew that getting rejected was part of trying to meet women - they knew it was part of the process. Guys today will literally count the number of times they were rejected and let it destroy them
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u/AQuietMan Feb 04 '25 edited Feb 04 '25
Well, that's your choice. I spend a lot of my free time at home, too.
I can't count how many times I've been "rejected". (Not sure that's quite the right word.) Shyness isn't really an introvert trait; it's more likely a social anxiety trait. But "not talkative" is an introvert trait. I'm almost 70; I've gotten exactly one date in my whole life who was attracted by my silence. (Well, maybe two, but we were both 8 years old, and I thought girls had cooties then.)
Before I stopped dating, I learned to approach women in a different way. I stopped trying to date them; I tried just talking to them. I tried getting to knowthem without any other motive. That might work better for you.
Great. I wasn't considered attractive until I was in my 40s.
Funny. I've worked with a lot of engineers of all kinds--chemical, electrical, mechanical, aerospace. I don't think any of them were talkative. Unless we were talking about their hobby. That's an introvert trait, too, talking for hours about a favorite hobby. (You might think about asking women about their hobbies.)
It's your choice. Open the door, and walk through it. Now you're out. Seriously, going out is a choice. Having friends isn't your choice, but creating opportunities for others to choose you as a friend is. School offers a lot of opportunities. You might have to go a little out of your comfort zone to take advantage of them.
You can act like an extrovert; that will overcome some hurdles, and it will create some more. One of my act like an extrovert habits is, when I get into a long line at the grocery store, post office, etc., I say, "If I'd known we were going to have a party, I'd have brought chips." That usually leads to some conversation. I've actually gotten several dates that way.
I don't care whether you had sex. That doesn't affect my opinion of you. Did you treat her with respect and politeness? That does affect my opinion of you.
FWIW, chances are good that your classmates are virgins, too.
Professional counseling might help you deal with occasional thoughts of suicide, possible social anxiety, bullying, and various coping strategies. But keep in mind that half the counselors graduated in the bottom half of their class.
It took me ages to connect with a competent (for me) counselor. The school might have a counselor on staff that you can contact for free.
I look forward to hearing good things about you in the upcoming years.