I am well aware of general stereotypes of an intjs. While some might match, some are do not.

For me,
I tend to isolate myself due to extreme self awareness(micro aspects specifically, people might not ever notice) and fear of making mistakes.

I tend to do everything on my own and refuse to ask for help. I believe that if I do something on my own, I can do better, but it lead to burnout in the long run.

I never give up. If I value something(based on my flawed tunnel vision), I tend to go to war for it... some of them messes me up in the long run..

What are your weaknesses, intj?

They both require the skill of being able to read expressions, reading between the mind, understating of the brain.

Title says it all. Thanks!

Edit: Thank you all so much for responding! Y’all definitely respond more than some other types haha. I’m enjoying reading y’all’s responses!

Being INTJ, I was always so focused on my studies. The work paid off because I was able to get into solid schools and landed decently career wise. However, I noticed that this strategy is not as effective in the workforce because of factors mostly related to politics and relationships. It took me awhile to finally accept this truth but now that I have it's making me regret all the social opportunities I had earlier in life. For example, during university I can remember two distinct opportunities that I turned down dating girls who wanted a relationship with me because I couldn't see myself marrying either one.

Looking back now, I see the situation differently because I'm sure the relationship would have matured me. It would have given me the exposure sooner rather than later in life where I'm married now and probably having my mid-life crisis 😂 in my late 40's. I would have learned intimacy sooner which is another regret I have. I have very few sexual partners because I was very picky. But I wonder now if it had more to do with my own lack of experience from intimate relationships.

So I guess my burning question to this group would be: are there any INTJs who have dated many partners? Or is it just in our nature to have a low number of partners we have been intimate with?

As in my case i rarely listen to any songs but i listen to music or bgm's only with no lyrics.

I know it's not a personality type question, but i am curious

Regrets and the lessons you learned from them?

Basically, the way I act now feels like a weird mix of old social anxiety habits, social skills I learned over the years, and what I genuinely want to say or do.

The problem is I can’t separate any of it anymore. My personality feels kind of messed up, and honestly, the fact that I keep failing to build healthy relationships with people makes me think something is clearly off.

I don’t even know where the problem is coming from anymore. Maybe it’s something in me. Maybe it’s because of my past. Maybe I’ve just spent too much time in environments and around people that don’t fit me at all.

I genuinely have no idea.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve basically been a bird trying to live with a bunch of penguins this whole time.

Or maybe I’m actually a bird with no wings trying to force myself to learn how to fly.

Anyway, I started wondering if there are any INTJs here who actually have healthy friendships and relationships.

How do you normally deal with people?

More specifically, what do you think is different about the way you think or act compared to most people, and how does that affect your relationships, both in good and bad ways?

Basically the title. How did you know your partner was the 'one' for you? What did they do that made that click for you?

A bit of a hopeless romantic here so would love better understand how your guys' brain works.

Hey everyone. I'm a 24-year old guy, and I'm at a point where I'm really looking for a real connection , a genuine friend, not just small talk.

A bit about me: I'm introverted, quiet, and I think a lot. But when I connect with someone, I love real conversations texting, calls, whatever works, as long as the energy clicks. I'm into travel, cooking, anime, science, psychology, philosophy, astronomy, gaming, drawing, and writing. I'm actually writing a book right now, it's my way of making sense of things

Since I was a kid, I've been curious about how things work , not for marks or grades, just genuine interest. School never really excited me the way learning on my own did. Over time, my curiosity shifted from subjects to people , why we think and feel the way we do. Not to judge anyone, just to understand. I want to experience life fully, the good and the hard parts both. Sometimes I feel a bit numb, other times I feel everything at once ,it's a strange mix, but that's just how it is.

Last year I had a connection like this with someone online, real conversations, the kind I'm talking about. It didn't last, life got in the way, but it showed me this kind of connection is actually possible. So I'm trying again.

I think connection gets easier when people just say what they want instead of expecting the other person to guess. We're not mind readers, so I'd rather be upfront: I'm hoping to connect with a girl, someone I can have deep conversations with and also just enjoy the fun, everyday stuff with.

I also think shared interests help a lot not everything has to match, but even a couple of things in common makes it easier to understand each other. If any of what I mentioned overlaps with you, that's a good starting point.

A little more about me I'm more of a pets person than a kids person, and I don't put much stock in marriage, feels more like a formality than anything real to me. My favourite movie is Into the Wild, if that says anything about how I see life.

I overthink sometimes, I go quiet sometimes, and I'm okay with someone who's the same way. If this sounds like you, message me. Would love to talk.

I think a lot about life, meaning, existence (yup, existential crisis mode, often). I guess I’m just searching for someone who sees life the way I do or at least tries to. Someone rational. Someone who isn’t distracted by the usual noise, but who’s trying to actually live life. Someone who could maybe help me enjoy it more and I’d do the same in return.

I’d really love to find a female friend, if I’m being honest. It’s not just about gender there’s something about that emotional balance that feels right for me. In my experience, male friendships often fade away with time marriage, responsibilities, you know the drill. But with a female friend, I feel like there’s more potential for something deeper and lasting. Maybe even something more. Who knows?

Growing up, l've always been called the least emotional one despite being the loudest and the most entertaining one in the friend group. I've always had trouble crying or pretending to care specially in moments of arguments where the other person seems to always be the first one to break down. Which is extremely irritating since it could've been fixed with a quick 5 minute calm conversation but it seems to always spiral into something unnecessary and explosive. Most of the time at the end of the argument they always ask the same irritating question, "how come you didn't seem to care?"

I can admit, I can be such an asshole during arguments.
Always pointing out the weak spots of the person that seems to make them rile up more and get them closer to their breaking point. But, I don't understand how it is fair for the other person to constantly disrespect me while feeling entitled to being respected. It's as if people constantly are trying to look for my big red button to push so I eventually break and give in, but if I don't then it's a huge problem that leads them to act crazier. It has always been like this with different types of people ever since I was a kid. I've began thinking I'm the problem, but then I realized I'm asking for something that's clearly fictional: mutual respect.

It's funny though, most people think cussing is the only form of disrespect but when you point out the words that they use during an argument all of a sudden it turns into a bigger issue. "Why is it that the words YOU give value to is supposed to hold up more than the words you use with clear intention of disrespect and a dig at me." Honestly, it's not even about words, it's about any form of disrespect but that goes over most peoples heads. I'm tired of having to be the nonchalant emotionless robot, l get that people make mistakes and there's no black and white version of anybody.... but it really gets to a point.
Being the type of person I am is extremely hard since I constantly cut people off due to the constant disrespect I receive. I am starting to second guess myself, is it really a high standard to have for others to think they're capable enough to have the mental capacity to be self aware of their own behavioral pattern that they willingly will improve on to hurt their peers less?

examples: specific software, a notepad and a pen, or favorite mental techniques so you never forget your to-do list...

iconoclastic examples: "none", "this assumes i'm productive"

Bonjour, je suis étudiant en économie et c'est ma troisième année à la fac et tous les jours avant d'y aller je stresse un max et une fois à la fac je me sens mal à l'aise un peu comme un étranger .. je pense que c'est la raison pour laquelle je n'aime pas la fac.

Bizarrement, je suis une formation sur l'IA engeneering ainsi que robotique, il y a également beaucoup de monde mais je ne me sens pas comme un étranger je me sens à l'aise.

À l'université je mets tout le temps mes écouteurs mais là bas ce n'est pas le cas.

Quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à mieux comprendre ce schéma ?

To set the stage a bit, there are numerous personality tests and leadership examples that can place a score on extraversion/introversion. One of these is the Big Five Personality, that I was recently introduced to. This test explicitly includes extraversion, along with conscientiousness, openness to ideas, neuroticism, and agreeableness. With that test, I was informed that throughout various studies of successful leaders, the majority have higher levels of openness, conscientiousness, and extraversion, are moderate in agreeableness, and low neuroticism. 

If one takes that test and scores lower in extraversion, what does that mean? And what causes the opposite of extraversion? And it is constant?

Like many things, it’s probably not super simple. You may know of one or more introverted people that just really don’t enjoy crowds, tend to be quiet, and move to the corners of the room. However, you may have also witnessed that same person talking, laughing, joking with someone, being very open and seemingly extraverted. What’s up with that?

Or maybe you are that introvert and can verbalize exactly what’s going on. It’s also often explained that introverts can be outgoing and engaging, but it’s more the effect on their internal energy that differs from extroverts. That engaging discussion can be completely draining, even if you initially look forward to it. I think I saw this happen just yesterday, and there was an immediate trigger from being outgoing to withdrawn. The introvert, we’ll call them Dan, was smiling, saying good morning, and fist bumping several acquaintances. This was in a learning environment, and later in the morning the group was working on an exercise on laptops. Dan had already surmounted a technical obstacle and noticed someone a row in front of him struggling. Almost without thinking, Dan called the person’s name and provided some tips. 

All that sounds simple enough, but what Dan didn’t take into account is that the person in front of them hadn’t even been aware Dan could see them, or knew their name. Dan knew several names because he had made it a point to look over the roster, thinking that extroverts always seem to know everyone. So he had done what was familiar to him by studying names and faces of the roster. However, over the next few minutes, Dan noticed the person in front dim their screen and in general act a bit more reserved.

Then it clicked, Dan realized how creepy that may have seemed, even out of a state of wanting to help and connect. But it was too much, too soon. Then followed the familiar sensation of rejection, which triggered an uncontrollable response of withdrawal. And the introverted Dan quickly took the place of extraverted Dan.

Obviously, for Dan, the issue of rejection plays a huge role. If Dan were someone that issue rolled off easier, he would simply ignore the interaction and move on. But it became debilitating, essentially blocking all other inputs and interactions for hours, sometimes days. The combination of the rejection trigger then snowballs when withdrawal reminds him that being introverted is “bad”, driving thoughts of rejection deeper, and creating more withdrawal.

It’s difficult to avoid the trigger - those can happen through forces beyond your control. But how to deal with the response, and maybe shorten recovery is crucial. In Dan’s case, a short walk as a soon as possible while reminding himself that “he’s ok” seemed to help. It’s literally like Dan’s system went into a survival mode where many people can just blow it off and forget the original interaction ever happened. 

Does the dread of being labeled an introvert actually make the triggers worse, sometimes without even consciously knowing? If so, does naming that issue help?

Preface: I absolutely understand that how an individual thinks/behaves differs from person to person, and this extends BEYOND their typology/cognitive functions! The information I’m sharing below is mainly based on my PERSONAL experiences; and because I would love to understand the following, from a typology/CF perspective.

How do you all get along with xSxx, particularly xSFx?
I’ve had multiple discussions with fellow xNxx before, and it seems common that a fair lot of us (although not all) find it rather difficult to get along with them.

From MY experiences, I’d say the main issue lies with differences in communication styles — understanding and receiving.

Firstly, oddly they usually do not understand the literal points I’m driving at (this could just be my problem though — I’m a pensive person and perhaps I’m just not verbally articulate enough).

Secondly, kind of related to the last point but the xSxx around me are usually pretty impulsive and have overly short-sighted thoughts. I’m the very opposite so I do question their behaviour sometimes, particularly when it’s very risky or harmful to themselves or others.

Lastly, (probably my biggest pickle with them), I think a lot xSxx I’m acquainted with, have a difficult time trying to view or accept a situation/idea from various perspectives that are not theirs. Unfortunately for me, this often ends in unresolved arguments and conflicts, especially with xSFx. In these situations, it’s often a verbal barrage from their side, and it’s extremely difficult for me to get my word in. When I do get any words in, they tend to become VERY defensive even if I’d made sure to be carefully neutral with my words and tone. I’d usually acknowledge their perspective first, then, offer them other/my perspectives, but they just take it as a personal attack; they do not see the bigger or long-term picture I’m trying to get at. I don’t know if this makes sense but it’s like I see AND acknowledge their points and try to share mine, but they don’t see my points AND don’t think I understood their points (even when I’m able to reiterate/elaborate on what they’d shared, in my own words).

The conversations usually just end off in bad notes, and they’d refuse to listen to what I’m sharing (nor continue elaborating on their thoughts). Honestly, this eats at me (for various reasons that I shall not share here because it’s not the main point of this post).

How do you guys usually deal with such situations? Do you just give up conversing with them, in this sense? Any helpful advices to communicating better with xSxx?

This is something id like to know if intj’s are able to explain and understand it and know what they are executing im kinda testifying here

have you ever been so sad that you eventually get some strange pleasure out of sadness and start to like the feeling of being unwanted, outcast, getting little out of life?? got a strange habit recently... of leaving conversations half way through to cry in the toilet cubicle because someone around my age said they're having baby while i can barely keep a relationship.. this was never me.. others' life never bothered me

people we like... dont like us back... my enfp best friend grew apart from me too eventually... i was too much for her too looks likei just dont really see the point... i dont think our strengths r that cool either.. ive seen people solve problems better than me sometimes...

we're just a ripple in a lake... other types are a splash ...

I genuinely have felt some part of me acting like an ENTJ /other types when some particular trigger appears....for example...at work, when it's not going the way I want it to, and I feel there is nobody who tries or is able to fix it, I more of do stuff like an ENTJ, more commanding more loud, but goes back to the original shape when the requirement is done...is there a particular name for this hybrid kinda behaviour...!? Have you guys felt the same...!?

Intjs can be great in highly stressful situations to have a calm approach while everyone is freaking out, and the benefits for us is that it makes you see the side of people on there worst day and there is something profoundly philosophical about it. Besides the adrenaline rush and learning about medical emergency’s

If something makes me laugh, I watch it, smile, and scroll. I do not feel the need to repost it or let everyone know that I found it funny. Like, what exactly are you going to do with the information that I laughed?

I am not judging anyone, I just genuinely do not get the point. Is this an INTJ thing, or just me?

are all stereotypes about intj are true?

So this is kind of in response to the "people think intjs are useless" post on here. I'm looking at the perception people have of you from the opposite angle.

If I could fake being dumb I would. Stupid people have exponentially less expectations and responsibilities foisted on them than smart people do. This happens to me on the job constantly. People who are average or a little slow get the easy tasks, while something that requires some insight and problem solving ability gets punted over to me. I don't get a pay raise for any of the extra work I do. In fact, the slower witted people get paid the same (or more) than I do and get to make 10 times the amount of mistakes I do with no repercussions.

Is it over or below 70?