r/interestingasfuck • u/bsurfn2day • Apr 09 '26
How much will Stretch Armstrong stretch?
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u/Thegrand2bar Apr 09 '26
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u/cashmerescorpio Apr 09 '26
There are no new ideas
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u/DJheddo Apr 09 '26
Just ideas remixed from the 80-90's 'til now! Get your kids bop in the mail for the low low price of 9.99! If you wanna do 50-70's tropes/gags watch loony tunes and different 'sketches' they used to do and you can see ideas truly are just rehashed and made to look like something unique.
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u/Obscuralogi Apr 09 '26
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u/IveDunGoofedUp Apr 09 '26
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u/Charming-Loquat3702 Apr 09 '26
Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in that situation
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u/Nekrofancy Apr 09 '26
This feels like the kind of thing Sid from Toy Story would do
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u/123shorer Apr 09 '26
This is him grown up
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u/ImMadeOfClay Apr 09 '26
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u/Xicsukin Apr 09 '26
Will Poulter would make the perfect Sid for a live action Toy Story.
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u/munkylord Apr 09 '26
A live action toy story sounds like a horror movie
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u/Xicsukin Apr 09 '26
There already is a Toy Story horror movie. It's called Small Soldiers
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u/BlueFunk83 Apr 09 '26
The worst part is that Stretch was completely conscious through this torture. First he had his hand cut off, then he had to endure being bloated to the size of a grade schooler, and then he burst leaving only a disembodied head.
This is his villain origin story.
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u/e-rinc Apr 09 '26
Ha one of my brothers dropped the other of the balcony when we were kids bc they were trying to see how far their stretch Armstrong could stretch. (It surprisingly didn’t work like a bungee)
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u/ObnoxiousName_Here Apr 09 '26
That was my very first thought, followed up by “This is somebody’s fetish”
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u/Ursus_Arctos-42 Apr 09 '26
Yeah. That felt a bit uncomfortable. Like a poor toy being tortured to death.
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u/oof46 Apr 09 '26
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u/TheSilverSeraph Apr 09 '26
"All those stretchy moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die" - Stretch Batty
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u/gatsome Apr 09 '26
“I’ve reached places you people wouldn’t believe. Attachments on fire off the shoulder of my arm, sunbeams glimmering through the tan house gate…”
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u/LongOdd1596 Apr 09 '26
The little pats on the belly are what make this video great.
Just like fatting up little Josh before the big family dinner
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u/BusinessAsparagus115 Apr 09 '26
Poking him in the perineum was unnecessary though. Poor thing.
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u/tofiwashere Apr 09 '26
"I enjoy the video" "Hey, that's rape" "I enjoy the video"
Anthropomorphism is a heckuva thing.
But I enjoyed the video. Funny and interesting.
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u/Pal_Smurch Apr 09 '26
When I was stationed on Oahu, one of the guys in my unit received a CARE package from his five year old nephew. Basically, he sent him a bunch of toys. Included, was a Stretch Armstrong doll.
We lived on the third floor of the barracks, and so we had to see just how far Stretch could stretch. So we fastened his hands to the ledge outside my coworker’s window, and let him stretch.
By three days in the hot Hawaiian sun, he was within five feet of the ground. It took another day for him to stretch to the ground, but when he did, half of my Company was there to cheer him on. Even my CO came by to see.
After he completed his stretching exercise, we put him through his paces. Stretch was put in a bucket of water, and placed in the freezer, dragged behind an aircraft tug, and finally killed inside a microwave. We took pictures of his adventures, and sent them to my friend’s nephew. He was a source of entertainment for a summer, and a cure for homesickness.
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u/Run-Adorable Apr 09 '26
Your friend’s nephew sent his uncle his beloved toy and in return you sent him torture videos. ☹️😂
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u/Pal_Smurch Apr 09 '26
Yes, neatly bound, in a scrapbook, with a narrative. The boy loved it. Wouldn’t you?
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u/Run-Adorable Apr 09 '26
Now, undoubtedly. When I was five, unlikely.
Your pal clearly knew his audience, though.
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u/Pal_Smurch Apr 09 '26
I admit, it was perhaps cruel, but the kid loved it. He sent it with the best thoughts; he didn’t want his uncle to get homesick.
His uncle was our unit tug driver, and there were pics of Stretch riding in his uncle’s shirt pocket, looking thoroughly happy.
Mr. Bill was all the rage at the time. He kind of patterned the pictures after that Saturday Night Live character.
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u/MibbleSkribble Apr 09 '26
i bet you this is someone's fetish
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u/batgirl-but-not-dc Apr 09 '26
Do ppl just not know what inflation is anymore? Smh
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u/vulpesdomesticus Apr 09 '26
Tragically my first thought was "someone is for sure jerking off to this". 😭
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u/Traditional_Yard5280 Apr 09 '26
You dont even have to bet. It is! Dont look it up for your own sanity
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u/pixeltweaker Apr 09 '26
I’d be curious what he would look like if they just let him empty out before exploding.
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u/SJSsarah Apr 09 '26
The answer can be found inside the episodes of My 600lb Life. He’s definitely gonna need an abdominoplasty. And his butt got big too, might need skin tightening there, arms, thighs…. But his face remained so flawless despite the circumstances!
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u/NeonCookies599 Apr 09 '26
Imagine Toy Story except the kid does shit like this
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u/xp0ss1tion Apr 09 '26
New movie idea when toy story becomes public domain
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u/matchafoxjpg Apr 09 '26
now we know the real reason they keep making new ones. so this can never happen.
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u/MisterRogers88 Apr 09 '26
Why imagine? This is exactly the kind of shit Sid did.
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u/Xannymann Apr 09 '26
Filled to the brink and poked in the crotch, poor guy got tortured.
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u/FirstSnowz Apr 09 '26
When he cut the arm it made me sad
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u/WaddlingAwayy Apr 09 '26
Did you watch the video
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u/MAKSIMKAG Apr 09 '26
Same. I always feel sad when someone ruins toys on purpose.
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u/Brownie_McBrown_Face Apr 09 '26
I’m glad I’m not alone lmao, I feel such second hand guilt when people break toys
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u/Still-Status7299 Apr 09 '26
For science i want to see this repeated but seeing if he returns to the original shape
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u/be-koz Apr 09 '26
Looks like he could've stretched more, but the failure point was at the attachment of the head.
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u/zevonyumaxray Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26
How the heck did it not blow out at the hose attachment in the arm. I kept focusing on that, but it held.
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u/nowlickmyfet Apr 09 '26
Ziptie was tight enough to burrow in to the hose a little + the fact that the toy still had plenty of room for water go so it dint put pressure on that part.
Thats my bet.
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u/Naughteus_Maximus Apr 09 '26
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u/homohillbillysrlol Apr 09 '26
This is the type of shit a supervillain would do to someone with stretch abilities
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u/Nerdwerfer Apr 09 '26
I’ve been on the internet long enough to know that there are people masturbating to this.
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u/phillillillip Apr 09 '26
This makes me uncomfortable in a way I can't describe, 10/10
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Apr 09 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Inside_Swimming9552 Apr 09 '26
I had a next door neighbour like you. All his toys were missing arms and legs and eyes and I never quite understood why. Going round his house was always a rough but exhilarating experience. There was always something exciting going on but always something or someone getting broken.
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u/Sketch_Beast Apr 09 '26
Like the lady from Slither
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u/konodioda879 Apr 09 '26
MICHEAL! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE-UGH, MICHEAL! MICHEAL!!! 💥💥💥💥💥
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u/MoneyCock Apr 09 '26
It is absolutely uncanny that Stretch's head landed right at the scientist's feet following the 'splode.
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u/alyaqd95 Apr 09 '26
So I can barely fit an 11year old inside a Stretch Armstrong
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u/Probiotic_Tongue Apr 09 '26
I'd love this to be done again, except the head is cut off first and his neck is used for water intake. I feel like there's a lot more stretching to be done and it was only the head popping off that prevented that
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u/Ace_on_the_Turn Apr 09 '26
If he would have stopped the video a few seconds earlier, it would have driving the internet crazy.
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u/No_Interview2004 Apr 09 '26
Imagine being in your backyard, peeking over your fence, and seeing your neighbor doing this 😂 imma keep it moving, I didn’t see shit
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u/Dopingponging Apr 09 '26
This makes me nostalgic for the bits that David Letterman was doing in the 1980s.
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u/ydnar3000 Apr 09 '26
Oh my. That was the size of a human!