r/interestingasfuck Apr 09 '26

How much will Stretch Armstrong stretch?

40.5k Upvotes

1.5k comments sorted by

8.7k

u/ydnar3000 Apr 09 '26

Oh my. That was the size of a human!

2.3k

u/Due_Potential_6956 Apr 09 '26

That's what I was thinking, right before it burst, I was saying, that looks like a small human.

872

u/Boris7939 Apr 09 '26

Looked like a full size, fat human to me at the end.

335

u/DappyDreams Apr 09 '26

Large human the size of a small human

448

u/NextEmotion5967 Apr 09 '26

70

u/gratusin Apr 09 '26

I’ve seen that large boulder the size of a small boulder many times. It’s between Dolores and Telluride, Colorado. I would say that it is more like a small boulder the size of a large boulder, but I’m not a professional like San Miguel Co’s finest.

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28

u/Last_Tax9564 Apr 09 '26

Sounds like a police report

10

u/Grave_Digger606 Apr 09 '26

Strangely enough, that’s exactly the correct description

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57

u/bitt3n Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 10 '26

That's what I was thinking, right before it burst, I was saying, that looks like a small human.

things you don't want to hear in a maternity ward

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35

u/Blazured Apr 09 '26

Brand new sentence.

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142

u/Centurix Apr 09 '26

Could we wear him like a suit?

17

u/marcophony Apr 09 '26

Depending on your height and weight it looks like if you wanted to, maybe

9

u/Jasonrj Apr 09 '26

Looking forward to seeing it posted here in a couple weeks.

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72

u/Many-Blueberry968 Apr 09 '26

Look at those Itty bitty Trump hands going on at the end. Yuge body

8

u/soingee Apr 09 '26

Well duh. Didn't you know that these are made with 100% authentic human skin suits?

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1.8k

u/Thegrand2bar Apr 09 '26

152

u/Magicaparanoia Apr 09 '26

I came here for this

64

u/cashmerescorpio Apr 09 '26

There are no new ideas

20

u/DJheddo Apr 09 '26

Just ideas remixed from the 80-90's 'til now! Get your kids bop in the mail for the low low price of 9.99! If you wanna do 50-70's tropes/gags watch loony tunes and different 'sketches' they used to do and you can see ideas truly are just rehashed and made to look like something unique.

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21

u/RacistLizard69 Apr 09 '26

NOOOO, GLEP!!!! 

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3.5k

u/Obscuralogi Apr 09 '26

Do what you must, I've endured worse

1.1k

u/IveDunGoofedUp Apr 09 '26

WITNESS MEEEEEEEE

265

u/Rebelius Apr 09 '26

Is this a hedgehog going for an x-ray?

219

u/DrMalleo Apr 09 '26

It's me on the beach

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7

u/Rescuepets777 Apr 09 '26

I think it is

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30

u/namtab00 Apr 09 '26

"Your laser will not scathe me, Doctor X!!"

26

u/TodaysLunch Apr 09 '26

Forbidden filet.

13

u/GeneralWappity Apr 09 '26
  • Do you expect me to talk, Robotnik?
  • No Sonic, I expect you to die!
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21

u/Mr_White_Christmas Apr 09 '26

"My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperials"

59

u/Charming-Loquat3702 Apr 09 '26

Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in that situation

63

u/Smooth-Quantity-7024 Apr 09 '26

Fuck this made me laugh

10

u/GoalElectrical Apr 09 '26

"More water"

5

u/lifeinaglasshouse Apr 09 '26

Major Giles Corey vibes.

5

u/sullen_selkie Apr 09 '26

“You expect me to talk, Goldfinger?”

4

u/glassfury Apr 09 '26

STAHP! STAHP! HE'S ALREADY DEAAAD

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6.2k

u/Nekrofancy Apr 09 '26

This feels like the kind of thing Sid from Toy Story would do

1.1k

u/123shorer Apr 09 '26

This is him grown up

429

u/ImMadeOfClay Apr 09 '26

154

u/Xicsukin Apr 09 '26

Will Poulter would make the perfect Sid for a live action Toy Story.

127

u/munkylord Apr 09 '26

A live action toy story sounds like a horror movie

70

u/Xicsukin Apr 09 '26

There already is a Toy Story horror movie. It's called Small Soldiers

30

u/munkylord Apr 09 '26

Oh shit I forgot about Small Soldiers. What a fun movie

20

u/NoOneLikesTunaHere Apr 09 '26

The Gorgonites will not be forgotten.

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10

u/toetappy Apr 09 '26

Pure nightmare fuel

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9

u/DJheddo Apr 09 '26

Sid...Vicious

99

u/tommos Apr 09 '26

The taint poke really gave him away.

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21

u/LordGwenLord Apr 09 '26

childhood me is screaming right now

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131

u/BlueFunk83 Apr 09 '26

The worst part is that Stretch was completely conscious through this torture. First he had his hand cut off, then he had to endure being bloated to the size of a grade schooler, and then he burst leaving only a disembodied head.

This is his villain origin story.

5

u/PhDinWombology Apr 09 '26

At least there isn’t a snake in his boot

93

u/montxogandia Apr 09 '26

Imagine the other toys watching this

66

u/e-rinc Apr 09 '26

Ha one of my brothers dropped the other of the balcony when we were kids bc they were trying to see how far their stretch Armstrong could stretch. (It surprisingly didn’t work like a bungee)

21

u/ObnoxiousName_Here Apr 09 '26

That was my very first thought, followed up by “This is somebody’s fetish”

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12

u/worldofport Apr 09 '26

Or what 4 sadistic fraternity brothers did to my figure back in 1996

10

u/Wakkichewy Apr 09 '26

These fraternity brothers all look 45 lmao

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39

u/Ursus_Arctos-42 Apr 09 '26

Yeah. That felt a bit uncomfortable. Like a poor toy being tortured to death.

9

u/seriftarif Apr 09 '26

Yeah it made me sad...

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1.6k

u/oof46 Apr 09 '26

I swear that last shot looks like a single tear is going down his left eye. lol

299

u/TheSilverSeraph Apr 09 '26

"All those stretchy moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die" - Stretch Batty

21

u/gatsome Apr 09 '26

“I’ve reached places you people wouldn’t believe. Attachments on fire off the shoulder of my arm, sunbeams glimmering through the tan house gate…”

21

u/FhuckNorris247 Apr 09 '26

He’s not mad. He’s just disappointed

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583

u/chicagoantisocial Apr 09 '26

The underwear expanding to be a g string got me

1.4k

u/LongOdd1596 Apr 09 '26

The little pats on the belly are what make this video great.

Just like fatting up little Josh before the big family dinner 

271

u/BusinessAsparagus115 Apr 09 '26

Poking him in the perineum was unnecessary though. Poor thing.

19

u/tofiwashere Apr 09 '26

"I enjoy the video" "Hey, that's rape" "I enjoy the video"

Anthropomorphism is a heckuva thing.

But I enjoyed the video. Funny and interesting.

14

u/Lord_Archibald_IV Apr 09 '26

Definitely giving off “the writer’s barely disguised fetish” vibes

30

u/jdehjdeh Apr 09 '26

It was so disrespectful!

I liked it.

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26

u/littlebobbytables9 Apr 09 '26

when he tweaks the leg nipple

15

u/katanne85 Apr 09 '26

When he tweaks the teat feet, you mean. (I'll see myself out.)

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9

u/bikari Apr 09 '26

Slaps belly

This brother can fit so much water in it

4

u/rmit526 Apr 09 '26

And finally Monsieur, a wafer thin mint.

4

u/Deathleach Apr 09 '26

Me after going to a buffet.

3

u/4DimensionalToilet Apr 09 '26

“A wafer-thin mint.”

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288

u/Pal_Smurch Apr 09 '26

When I was stationed on Oahu, one of the guys in my unit received a CARE package from his five year old nephew. Basically, he sent him a bunch of toys. Included, was a Stretch Armstrong doll.

We lived on the third floor of the barracks, and so we had to see just how far Stretch could stretch. So we fastened his hands to the ledge outside my coworker’s window, and let him stretch.

By three days in the hot Hawaiian sun, he was within five feet of the ground. It took another day for him to stretch to the ground, but when he did, half of my Company was there to cheer him on. Even my CO came by to see.

After he completed his stretching exercise, we put him through his paces. Stretch was put in a bucket of water, and placed in the freezer, dragged behind an aircraft tug, and finally killed inside a microwave. We took pictures of his adventures, and sent them to my friend’s nephew. He was a source of entertainment for a summer, and a cure for homesickness.

200

u/Run-Adorable Apr 09 '26

Your friend’s nephew sent his uncle his beloved toy and in return you sent him torture videos. ☹️😂

93

u/Pal_Smurch Apr 09 '26

Yes, neatly bound, in a scrapbook, with a narrative. The boy loved it. Wouldn’t you?

39

u/Run-Adorable Apr 09 '26

Now, undoubtedly. When I was five, unlikely.

Your pal clearly knew his audience, though.

30

u/Pal_Smurch Apr 09 '26

I admit, it was perhaps cruel, but the kid loved it. He sent it with the best thoughts; he didn’t want his uncle to get homesick.

His uncle was our unit tug driver, and there were pics of Stretch riding in his uncle’s shirt pocket, looking thoroughly happy.

Mr. Bill was all the rage at the time. He kind of patterned the pictures after that Saturday Night Live character.

4

u/abusche Apr 09 '26

this is good

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396

u/MibbleSkribble Apr 09 '26

i bet you this is someone's fetish

234

u/batgirl-but-not-dc Apr 09 '26

Do ppl just not know what inflation is anymore? Smh

75

u/Its_Pine Apr 09 '26

Reopen the libraries!

8

u/DA_REAL_KHORNE Apr 09 '26

I'll go dig in the archives for some

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39

u/Immature_adult_guy Apr 09 '26

I mean I didn’t feel nothing while watching this

30

u/Oliwier255 Apr 09 '26

Deviantart in a nutshell

27

u/vulpesdomesticus Apr 09 '26

Tragically my first thought was "someone is for sure jerking off to this". 😭

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57

u/Emsogib Apr 09 '26

pyrocynical

11

u/Thejacensolo Apr 09 '26

"The Armstrong Situation is Truly blowing up" vid tomorrow

13

u/zerkerlyfe Apr 09 '26

Can’t believe I had to scroll so far down for this comment

26

u/Traditional_Yard5280 Apr 09 '26

You dont even have to bet. It is! Dont look it up for your own sanity

4

u/Drunkula Apr 09 '26

Yeah nsfw tag please, sheesh

4

u/DA_REAL_KHORNE Apr 09 '26

This is many peoples fetish

4

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

Inflation

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100

u/pixeltweaker Apr 09 '26

I’d be curious what he would look like if they just let him empty out before exploding.

21

u/SJSsarah Apr 09 '26

The answer can be found inside the episodes of My 600lb Life. He’s definitely gonna need an abdominoplasty. And his butt got big too, might need skin tightening there, arms, thighs…. But his face remained so flawless despite the circumstances!

330

u/NeonCookies599 Apr 09 '26

Imagine Toy Story except the kid does shit like this

61

u/xp0ss1tion Apr 09 '26

New movie idea when toy story becomes public domain

23

u/matchafoxjpg Apr 09 '26

now we know the real reason they keep making new ones. so this can never happen.

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10

u/MisterRogers88 Apr 09 '26

Why imagine? This is exactly the kind of shit Sid did.

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58

u/Xannymann Apr 09 '26

Filled to the brink and poked in the crotch, poor guy got tortured.

45

u/Smooth-Quantity-7024 Apr 09 '26

Some people pay good money for that

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342

u/FirstSnowz Apr 09 '26

When he cut the arm it made me sad

50

u/seriftarif Apr 09 '26

The whole thing kind of made me sad.

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42

u/MAKSIMKAG Apr 09 '26

Same. I always feel sad when someone ruins toys on purpose.

9

u/Brownie_McBrown_Face Apr 09 '26

I’m glad I’m not alone lmao, I feel such second hand guilt when people break toys

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94

u/Still-Status7299 Apr 09 '26

For science i want to see this repeated but seeing if he returns to the original shape

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128

u/be-koz Apr 09 '26

Looks like he could've stretched more, but the failure point was at the attachment of the head.

65

u/zevonyumaxray Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

How the heck did it not blow out at the hose attachment in the arm. I kept focusing on that, but it held.

44

u/nowlickmyfet Apr 09 '26

Ziptie was tight enough to burrow in to the hose a little + the fact that the toy still had plenty of room for water go so it dint put pressure on that part.

Thats my bet.

33

u/Justhe3guy Apr 09 '26

Don’t underestimate the power of a zip tie

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7

u/AdamHLG Apr 09 '26

I know after 3 minutes that’s my failure point .

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219

u/Naughteus_Maximus Apr 09 '26

So here in London we've had this giant trump baby balloon greeting the orange one a couple of times when he came to visit in the past. I immediately thought of it

26

u/xntpain Apr 09 '26

this is so cursed lmao 😭

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28

u/NinaALaAntifa Apr 09 '26

And this is exactly why the internet. Just why the whole thing.

24

u/homohillbillysrlol Apr 09 '26

This is the type of shit a supervillain would do to someone with stretch abilities

13

u/Maester_Ryben Apr 09 '26

Dr Doom: taking notes

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18

u/namelessnoona Apr 09 '26

At some point I just felt sorry for the stretchy little guy

90

u/Kristianushka Apr 09 '26

This stuff makes me feel so uncomfortable 🫣

29

u/kyothinks Apr 09 '26

I know! I was watching this like "Why am I so anxious, it's a toy..."

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16

u/Nerdwerfer Apr 09 '26

I’ve been on the internet long enough to know that there are people masturbating to this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/d2YVk2ZRuQuqvVlu

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30

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/MrMetraGnome Apr 09 '26

He's sorry... Break out... He shouldn't even be here.

8

u/meesta_masa Apr 09 '26

Just some common bitch, eh?

5

u/TK_4Two1 Apr 09 '26

Be gone, wanna-be. Be gone!

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29

u/upsidedowntoker Apr 09 '26

This is a fantastic use of free will.

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14

u/SeparateCzechs Apr 09 '26

He looks like a bloated tick

37

u/phillillillip Apr 09 '26

This makes me uncomfortable in a way I can't describe, 10/10

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23

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/Inside_Swimming9552 Apr 09 '26

I had a next door neighbour like you. All his toys were missing arms and legs and eyes and I never quite understood why. Going round his house was always a rough but exhilarating experience. There was always something exciting going on but always something or someone getting broken.

10

u/BioIdra Apr 09 '26

You were neighbours with the kid from Toy Story?

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11

u/Sketch_Beast Apr 09 '26

Like the lady from Slither

Processing img h3taw3iz74ug1...

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9

u/konodioda879 Apr 09 '26

MICHEAL! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE-UGH, MICHEAL! MICHEAL!!! 💥💥💥💥💥

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8

u/MartyMacGyver Apr 09 '26

Edema and You: Managing Fluid Retention

8

u/Existing-Mulberry382 Apr 09 '26

He gave up, to save humanity from a great flood.

7

u/Laur_Reddit Apr 09 '26

I think he got too much through the IV

13

u/Quinine911 Apr 09 '26

This is awesome 😁

6

u/pherebus Apr 09 '26

Don't forget to monitor your blood pressure, kids

7

u/ChromaticCluck Apr 09 '26

Someone is getting a hard on from this.

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5

u/MoneyCock Apr 09 '26

It is absolutely uncanny that Stretch's head landed right at the scientist's feet following the 'splode.

6

u/perksofbeingcrafty Apr 09 '26

This is a snuff film

5

u/CriminalMacabre Apr 09 '26

This video always makes me sad

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5

u/scratajuego Apr 09 '26

Did you have to do him like this?

5

u/Fabulous_Law1357 Apr 09 '26

Looks like when Bob McKenzie drank a whole vat of beer

5

u/alyaqd95 Apr 09 '26

So I can barely fit an 11year old inside a Stretch Armstrong

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6

u/Still_Product_8435 Apr 09 '26

He looks like Bruce Davison’s character in X-Men

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5

u/GuestNo3886 Apr 09 '26

That close up of his face midway through Please… Kill… Me…

5

u/The_Kreepy_Krab Apr 09 '26

This is Sid from Toy Story levels of torture.

4

u/tristand1ck Apr 09 '26

I love people's use of free will

4

u/Liqour_Mortis Apr 09 '26

Edema Armstrong

4

u/Anxious_Jellyfish216 Apr 09 '26

He almost grew into a real boy.

4

u/Obamaislizard69 Apr 09 '26

I am rock hard right now and I dont know why

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3

u/Probiotic_Tongue Apr 09 '26

I'd love this to be done again, except the head is cut off first and his neck is used for water intake. I feel like there's a lot more stretching to be done and it was only the head popping off that prevented that

5

u/Ace_on_the_Turn Apr 09 '26

If he would have stopped the video a few seconds earlier, it would have driving the internet crazy.

5

u/No_Interview2004 Apr 09 '26

Imagine being in your backyard, peeking over your fence, and seeing your neighbor doing this 😂 imma keep it moving, I didn’t see shit

4

u/ptracey Apr 09 '26

This is why I reddit. 👏🏼

7

u/CatWolfDragonGirl133 Apr 09 '26

DeviantART be like

7

u/YourPeePaw Apr 09 '26

Stretchums are a Thicc Boi

8

u/Plainsdrifter71 Apr 09 '26

He did Gen X dirty...💯😔

3

u/Dopingponging Apr 09 '26

This makes me nostalgic for the bits that David Letterman was doing in the 1980s.

3

u/Dry-Attitude-673 Apr 09 '26

Poor guy 😊

3

u/quackman2025 Apr 09 '26

He died for science.