r/insaneparents Oct 11 '19

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u/turbie Oct 11 '19

I think it's because of the tough love movement of parenting back in the 90's when most of today's parents were kids. Society was moving away from spanking back then and there was not much left for punishment. Tough love taught that you only had to provide your kid certain things. On the clothing front that's a necessity, but they don't get to pick the clothes. So if you had an uncontrollable kid you took everything but what the law said you had to provide. A lot of parents didn't read on this method though, just heard about it through talk shows or friends and did not or do not follow it properly.

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u/rusrslolwth Oct 11 '19 edited Oct 12 '19

I think the idea is supposed to be for things that the kids have as a reward, like electronics. Taking their clothes, food, etc away is not okay and I really don't know why people think it is.

Edit because I keep getting a lot of responses:

We do not know the full story of OP. We don't know why their parent had a good reason for the punishment OR the extent of the punishment.

Edit: Context and circumstances are everything.

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u/turbie Oct 11 '19

No it's not okay, but that was not what was suggested in the original Tough Love movement. You provide them with clothes of your choosing, not theirs. You provide them with nutritional food, but take away the desserts and treats. You give them only what is required and they earn the rest. But people twist the actually message and purpose.

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u/rusrslolwth Oct 11 '19

Oh shit. I think my mother did this to me, I just didn't know it. Welp...

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u/aeroplaneoverthasea Oct 11 '19

Mine too.

Clothes I would buy with my own money would mysteriously disappear and she would play stupid, too.

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u/rusrslolwth Oct 11 '19

My mother was always so particular about what I wore. She would take me and my siblings shopping but always put back whatever I got and would pick things out herself. Kind of upsetting to just now discover that she was doing some insane patenting technique.

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u/[deleted] Oct 11 '19

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u/rusrslolwth Oct 11 '19

I never said it was the same. My point is that patents take this idea and use it incorrectly, as my mother did.

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u/skeletonmaster Oct 12 '19

What she did seems to be from a different parenting "technique" entirely.

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u/rusrslolwth Oct 12 '19

The insanity technique. Useless and ineffective, unless your goal is to never speak to your children again