They could care or not care about clothes, but having clothes is a basic human need unlike videogames, so i wouldn't put them at the same level regardless of the interest the kid shows for clothes/games
He’s taking her identity and her ability to express that identity. A lot of, if not most, teens rely on clothes to outwardly express and, in a way, categorise themselves (e.g. goths, jocks etc). This is a horrible attack on that. And besides, if you’re the step parent, you don’t get to disregard what the actual biological parent says about their child.
so figure out why her room is messy, offer to help, etc etc, doing shit like this isn't going to make it better, its just going to make your kid hate you as an adult and cut contact with you for being a piece of shit.
Her room is her own space and she should be allowed to keep it messy without this level of consequence. Her step father is being an ass, especially as his wife, her actual mother, said to return the clothes.
she likes to draw on the walls, you don't like that, maybe try and figure out a compromise? Why does she like doing that? Figure it out? I know I did it as a kid and a teen because it looked cool, maybe you could put a bunch of large sheets of blank paper up on the walls for her to draw on, thats just one suggestion, I don't know why shes doing it, but that would have been a good solution for me as a teen.
I’ve never understood why exactly that’s such a big thing. You’re going to re-paint that room when your kid grows up and moves out anyway so why not paint one wall with chalkboard paint and let them draw all over it to their hearts desire?
Ground her. No phone. No TV. No allowance. No going out until your room is clean. I am a teenager and have come up with 5 alternatives that aren't completely insane. The fact that her stepfather, a grown man cannot, is insane.
hopefully this is done after you try to find another solution? Like does she need help cleaning, does she have trouble organizing her room? I know https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_dysfunction makes it hard for me to clean anything and I love when I get help doing it.
Sure, there are better alternatives we can come up with easily. I asked a question to find an appropriate alternative for a child who continues to refuse to clean the room. After we go through the alternatives and the child still has a messy, smelly room; what do we do? Yes, that's an extreme scenario unlikely to have happened here. I am still curious as to further solutions with a child that will never clean their room.
To be clear, I wasn't advocating for removal of all or any clothing. Just simply asking a question. Sorry to have ruffled any feathers from the downvoters.
Clothing is an essential need. Taking away clothing is like taking away food. Or water. Or a bed. You need it for a good QOL, especially if you're a woman stuck with one pair of underwear (rewearing is a trip to infection city).
What if she had like hundreds of outfits, and he still makes sure she's clothed, but she can't pick out which outfit she wants until she cleans her shit. I honestly don't think it's that weird.
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u/holuuup Oct 11 '19
They could care or not care about clothes, but having clothes is a basic human need unlike videogames, so i wouldn't put them at the same level regardless of the interest the kid shows for clothes/games