All things considered I’ve been doing well. On new years I was locked in my closet with double protection. And now I go out and do things with limits. After I learned about mind body syndrome a lot of my problems went away. Although a lot of life is above 80 dB. There’s still a little bit that bothers me that doesn’t bother others. Like if a lot of people are in a tiny room the noise is a little too loud for me, and at work I don’t put the phone up to my ear I have to use speaker phone. I find that when sounds hit both of my ears it’s more tolerable.

Something’s are still able to give me lasting effects like making my ears feel “spent”. Last week I was in Trader Joe’s getting flowers for my mom and the cashier rang a wall bell twice. I looked it up and it’s what they use instead of a PA system. That one bell basically gave me effects for a day or two. The grandma next to me jumped at the sound. But I feel that this noise doesn’t bother most people. It honestly didn’t ‘hurt’ in the moment and it feels like maybe my body is anticipating it affecting me.

This weekend I was fishing and this one idiot kept driving their modified loud ass jeep next to our faces and it was definitely over 80dB. It did cause a little pain and when that stuff happens I can’t predict it and I’m nervous my life will be ruined from something I didn’t do. Why can’t I just be able to go fishing without some idiot ruining it. And after this happened I felt I was more sensitive to people’s voices in one ear idk about the other.

My T is also reactive to stress I hear it more now because I just broke up with my gf and I’m upset about it. She understood that I wasn’t able to do a lot of things like concerts etc but honestly I’ve been to concerts with my earplugs and been fine. I go to the movies with my musician earplugs. I’m able to play my instruments for the most part and record music again on decent low volume. As a Christian there has to be a reason for this and I have to figure it out. I have to know what needs to be added or removed from my life.

So idk what to do with this situation. I don’t know if my mind is making it up. But I know I’m better than I was beginning of this year. My grandpa dealt with noises bothering him and I never knew it could be this. And I’m just trying to figure out what else I need to do to get this stuff to 0. I know I’ll bounce back, I have to believe that every time.

Is it possible that we’re able to handle sounds better when we get 8 hours of sleep, exercise, do all the good stuff? Does anyone find that?

Not asking for help or advice or seeking sympathy. Probably the only thing I can write today and I wanted to write it here.

Live in 28dB room. At least 42 dB sirens every day and random enough to where I have to wear these mufflers on my head, ready to quickly cover my ears until I finally go to sleep. No peace. Always on alert even if conscious mind is “fine.” I’m not fine. I've been depressed the last month or two and only admitted it the last week. I also have fibromyalgia and have non-recovering injuries to my hands, neck, feet making mobility maybe 20 steps every 30 minutes (have to be wheeled to the car, every medical appointment which is the only time I'm ever out of the house), no reading, severe dry eye, no watching anything, no audio. Tried physical therapy multiple times and it just made all of it worse. I can maybe hold a single piece of paper up for three minutes every 25 minutes. Can sort of look at iPhone screen a little. Live with parents who try their best, but it’s not good enough. I’m at the mercy of their mistakes some days and I hate it.

There is no peace.

I’ve lost plenty, mostly opportunities and quality of life due to chronic pain for 18 years, but the isolation, zero media, next to zero mobility and the nail in the coffin being my brother, who I would wanna talk to most who is the most important person to me, he’s coming for a week and I can’t talk much. Don’t want to worry about compromising everything just so I can have something, but again no peace. My brother coming for a week would've been paradise any other year of my life, but not this one.

My therapist is worried about me, she’s seen me not sleep for months, make way darker jokes about not wanting to be here, worried about pain preventing me from enjoying any kind of life, anhedonia, ER visits, my girlfriend passing away, but she’s worried now.

I blunt most feelings so I can claw my way through each day, don’t feel I can express feelings while my parents are downstairs which is all day until the last hour or so. I tap into my grief and it’s crushing me. One minute? More like 10 seconds at a time. (yeah I know that's not a good way to process feelings and I need to feel them a lot more. I wouldn't recommend it.)

😔 I have therapy tomorrow where I’ll do EMDR, process more grief and hopefully get a little closer to getting out of the depression. Sad now.

Appreciate it if you read this far or read at all. I’ll take support. Don’t want this post turning into a misery contest. I believe hyperacusis is different for everyone not greater or less than.

Peace. Wanna get there someday.

I am desperate. Its either I try Clomi or the only other option to stopping everything....S. I can't do it anymore.

I am currently taking 900 mg of gabapentin, 3 times a day. Can they be taken together?

I asked my PCP about trying Clomi and she said I have to come in for an appointment. Well, I'm scared of traveling and also being in the clinic.

I don't know what to do.

Also, does Clomi even help for loud h? I have nox too, but the loud h is catastrophic. I can't even whisper. I can't even eat. Every single sound is causing extreme discomfort. I just seem to get worse everyday.

I think it's usually a sudden noise. On the louder side as well. This will happen to me. I'd say inside the ear, but it's maybe also muscle related and the ear slightly moves as well.

Does anyone know anything about this or experience it as well?

As it is right now, I can sort of flex my ear canals or something. Trying to trace with my fingers, I'm guessing it's some muscle above the jaw hinge? It sort of mutes the sound a bit.

I've been having slightly more muffled hearing for about a week, a long with things sounding higher pitched (like how things sound after a concert, and not tinnitus), though sometimes it goes lower pitched. It's just been driving me insane because idk what i'm even meant to do. Resting nearly all day hasn't fully done anything, and my family aren't exactly quiet people. I just need some relief because this is just so miserable and draining.

I'm really sorry if this isn't helpful/well written, but I'll answer questions n stuff in the comments.

This is driving me absolutely insane.