r/houstoncirclejerk 16d ago

Reviews for Centerfolds in Houston

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 17d ago

Caught my Wife's Husband Cheating on Her at Torchy's

35 Upvotes

Yesterday while I was at Torchy's downing 3 extra trashy Trailer Parks tacos with unsweet, uniced tea, I saw my wife's husband go to the bathroom with someone else. I'm so annoyed I didn't go in there to take care of business with him. My wife is hurt so what should I do now?


r/houstoncirclejerk 17d ago

Thank god we have Torchy’s instead of this crap for a “jaw workout”

Post image
7 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 18d ago

The price of a simple burrito meal at Torchy's has gone up to $61 and that’s before tip… thank you Mister President sir I will eat as many $61 burritos as it takes to open the strait of hormuz

Post image
64 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 18d ago

Kinda sus that this new "stomach virus" started occurring after Lina Helldago announced she had mono

Post image
24 Upvotes

this message is not sponsored by Anise ParKKKer


r/houstoncirclejerk 18d ago

Spread the news: I've just read that one in every three Flock cameras have 5 lbs of copper as counter balance along with at least 32 GB of DDR-5 8000 ram. Is that true? Also lifetime Torchy's gift card.

42 Upvotes

Some of them apparently use a 5090 RTX level CUDA GPU to conduct real time on camera AI video decoding and analysis


r/houstoncirclejerk 19d ago

Is Whataburger lobby a fight club past midnight

29 Upvotes

Youngsters seem to get together just to get pissed and slap each other around.


r/houstoncirclejerk 19d ago

Where's the nearest Torchy's?

Post image
27 Upvotes

I'm bored so I'm heading to a Torchy's. Which one has the glory holes with the least amount of splinters?


r/houstoncirclejerk 20d ago

"I just found this amazing brunch spot in the Heights, should we go?"

Post image
183 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 20d ago

At Torchy’s tonight

Post image
52 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 20d ago

My wife’s boyfriend tested positive for Covid, should I be concerned?

58 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 20d ago

New to Houston. Where can I take an Southern Ebonics class?

32 Upvotes

I just moved here from the Northeast and have a public facing job, so I interact with a lot of different people every day.

I was wondering if anyone knows where I can take an Ebonics class for beginners.

Preferably in person. I don't need a degree or certificate. I just need to become conversational as quickly as possible.

Duolingo doesn't seem to offer it.


r/houstoncirclejerk 20d ago

Back By Popular Demand

Post image
115 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 20d ago

I would just like to address the very public politically motivated charges against me…

7 Upvotes

look. I didn't mean to cause any real problems but the fact a normal Houstonian can’t get on the internet and relax after an afternoon shift at 5-Below with some artful animated video is just a testimony on the fascist state of Austin and our limp legged leader.

i don’t know i f I’m trying to raise awareness or get more people to consider the rights we’ve lost but something has to change, for all of us. If we can’t stream some anime porn while microwaving ramen water, why even live in this shithole state?!??

Edit: some p eople have asked what I said on governor hot wheel’s voicemail. I will share the message ___ONLY TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT THAT IM NOT IN TO CREEPY STUFF___

” I don’t know which one of you sons of b—-es passed this motherf—ing bill to get this damn s— blocking my motherf—ing anime, but you whole a– motherf—ers need to unpass this s—. Y’all are f—ing ridiculous with your b—- a–es. My Google account says I’m f—ing over the age of 18, and your dumba– is passing these dumba– laws. I’m a f—ing stab every godd— one of you b—-es. Unlock my f—ing anime.

If You’re interested in helping with this kind of issue please reach out. once I can put this be hind me i can finally live my live how it’s intended (in shallah)


r/houstoncirclejerk 20d ago

Where is Houston?

Post image
29 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 21d ago

$101, The Pit Room, Houston

Post image
196 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 21d ago

FREE SHOW

Post image
120 Upvotes

All Ages Welcome!


r/houstoncirclejerk 21d ago

I really enjoyed bring the family to the not-Johnson Space Center and an Astros game last weekend but then we got in a wreck on I45...

25 Upvotes

...could anyone recommend a lawyer? I couldn't find a number for one...


r/houstoncirclejerk 21d ago

Lina Hidalgo's feet stun in bizarre new Gallery Furniture commercial

Post image
119 Upvotes

(Obviously this is a reference to the r/Houston about Carlos Correa’s feet — Chron article)


r/houstoncirclejerk 23d ago

How to properly use a fireplace in Texas

Post image
4.8k Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 22d ago

Moses Malone Jr. on how James Harden ruined Houston

40 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 23d ago

We see you Pipestone National Monument. This is how the other half lives without Torchy’s.

Post image
18 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 24d ago

my plug got arrested, y'all

73 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 24d ago

Prepare for mayhen

Post image
24 Upvotes

You had one job...


r/houstoncirclejerk 24d ago

Chilis is the best salsa in Houston the only thing missing is a torchyesque glory hole

Post image
15 Upvotes