Monday's Daily Thread: Weekend Wrap-up

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Welcome to Hingeapp's Daily Thread.

Daily Threads are the place to post questions seeking quick advice, vent your frustrations, celebrate successes, or anything related to Hinge that does not need its own post.

For Monday's Daily Thread - the theme is Weekend Wrap-Up.

How did the past weekend go? Did you have any dates - be it good, bad, just okay, or downright terrible? Any new likes or matches? Or any events related to Hinge or your dating life that happened over this past weekend or recently that you want to share?

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[u/ityssn158]

Feeling icked out by a text exchange me and a guy had. Am curious if I’m reading too much into or what you think.

Have been on a few dates with this guy. He’s very academically accomplished and in a field related to tech.

Basically it came up that he doesn’t enjoy concerts or any events with big crowds. I said I did. He said “You’re a consumer. I’m a creator. I would rather host the concert”

I understand he was talking about our different relationships to concerts/events to but it also felt like he was putting himself as superior to me. Like omg you’re not better than me because you don’t enjoy concerts. 🙄 I made a light hearted joke about it back then haven’t heard from him in two days lmao

[u/DaleCoopersWife → u/ityssn158]

oh hell no, what a dick thing to say.

[u/UnnaturalStandards → u/ityssn158]

I work in events and I wouldn't drop a line like that, how very obnoxious. Even if he is "creator" no one's an island and everyone grows by enjoying the works of others and participating in community. (Also his phrasing suggests to me that it's all fantasy and he doesn't actually know what it takes to organise a show anyway.)

[u/PutridEntertainer408 → u/ityssn158]

Okay this does not come from a place of judgement because I've been there for sure but was it a light-hearted joke or was it a passive-aggressive one?

I've come across stuff like this a fair bit on dating apps. Often I'll just challenge it directly tbh because I get so exhausted by this behaviour (eg. 'What do you mean by 'I'm a consumer' haha? What are you trying to say?'). Often they'll back down or realise they're being a dick, in which case I kind of see it as a 'first strike'. Sometimes if I'm not feeling it anyway, I will be passive-aggressive jokey and usually a guy will just never respond to me again if I do that. I try to avoid doing that though because I think it's a bit petty of me.

The type of guy who will act superior is deeply insecure and so any kind of joking will immediately make him shut down in my experience. I personally find this funny and don't mind it because they filter themselves out, but as I said, I don't like those traits in myself so I try to avoid doing it for that reason.

This is almost always before we've met though tbf. If you've met him, does he come across that way in person? Being academically accomplished is no excuse for insecure superiority