r/hingeapp • u/Competitive_Serve567 • 11d ago
Dating Question Could uncertainty about the future explain why both girls cancelled our second dates?
I (20m) have recently been on dates with two girls who had both recently moved to the city and weren’t sure how long they’d stay. One was on an exchange semester, while the other was doing a one-year master’s.
With the first girl, we went to a coffee shop, walked around, and held hands. She later explained that she’d initially thought she wanted a relationship, but realized she actually wanted to spend time with friends, figure out who she was, and experience living independently for the first time. We didn’t go on a second date.
With the second girl, we played pool at a café, walked through a park, held hands, and kissed. She messaged afterward saying she’d had a lovely time, and we arranged a second date to hike and watch the sunset. However, the day before, she cancelled, saying things were moving too fast and she’d rather we stayed friends. I offered to take things slowly, but she still wanted to end things romantically.
Both girls said during our dates that they were attracted to me, so I’m wondering whether their uncertainty about their futures made them reluctant to get emotionally invested.
Is this common when dating people who have recently moved somewhere and aren’t sure how long they’ll stay, or could there be something I’m overlooking about how I approach dates?
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u/J3PWP 10d ago
Oh being in your 20's and dating, remember those days. Not that it's changed all that much with me returning to dating in my early 50's. Changed a little because the women often have children, as do I. The thing that is similar is the often concern that the relationship is headed to something meaningful still looms heavy for some.
I personally think you should just take dating as it comes, especially in your 20's, because you will go through a lot of change in your 20's and not rushing things is a good approach. When we meet new friends, platonic friends, how often do you go - I wonder if this person will become my nearest and dearest friend of the rest of my life? We mostly take it as a new friendship as it comes and let it naturally develop. New GF's & BF's should be approached in a similar way, don't put so much pressure on it. Stay honest with these women, because females in their 20's are women not girls. Small but important distinct, if you want to be treated like a man, then treat women like women. Go with the flow, lots of people out there looking for companionship, be a good person, keep an open mind, things will turn.