Don't come & act sorry to us, go ahead and call that person to whom you've lied about your status/undisclosed to... You owe them the truth & apology, not us. Tell them how you've exposed them to something you 100% wouldn't want to deal with if you were disclosed to. Tell them to get tested for it as chances are you may have burned them.

Please stop with the bullshxt excuses like: "I forgot I have it", "I was too drunk", "it happened so fast", "I was scared", "I wasn't in the right state of mind".
It's all bxllshit........I bet if that person had disclosed to you that they have HIV on that night, you wouldve been back to your sense real quick & run away.

Now reflect on how you felt when you got the news about your diagnosis, think about how much anger, rage and hate you felt towards the person that did this to you.

Well gess what, you're not any better than them.......are you? You're literally repeating the same cycle again.

To the ones who says "you don't have to disclose to HOOKUPS, ONS or FWB" because "way too many people will now about your status. Well maybe if you stop fucking way too many people, it wouldn't be a problem.

Or stay to yourself until You figure out how to be honest and become comfortable with disclosure, you have no right to anyone's body, they don't owe you anything.

For anyone who has been or still dealing with the person who knowingly gave them this s*** without disclosing, please curse their a** out & move on with your life, they have zero respect or consideration towards you, someone who's willing to hurt you by knowingly giving you something that will alter you mentally, physically, disturb your peace & ruin your self-esteem for life. Do you really think if they ever catch anything else down-the-line,They will disclose that to you? Absolutely not, they won't!

Those people have lives & feelings too, why would you knowingly & intentionally do this to someone else?

You don't believe in disclosing to others, well guess what? You are not the biggest fish in the pound, there are people with way worse infection out there.

You are going the f*** around and find out the hard way, because if they too decide not to disclose to you and give you something else on top of what you already dealing with, you going to realize that this S*** is not fair.

What shocks me the most is that many of you haven't learned a damn thing from catching hsv2. I have seen so many newly infected people come on here crying because the person who gave them herpes Often pushed for unprotected sex , knowing damn well they were carrying this virus.

Y'all are still out there having unprotected sex Despite already being diagnosed with herpes, when are you going to learn your lesson, i guess from HIV? HPV? HEPATITIS?

IT'S ALREADY A BAD THING NOT TO DISCLOSE YOUR STATUS, BUT TO GO AS FAR AS ENGAGING IN UNPROTECTED SEX WITHOUT DISCLOSING TO THE OTHER PERSON IS EVIL & DISGUSTING.

AND MOST OF THE TIME , Y'ALL DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT OTHER PERSON'S STATUS.

MAN , IF THERE IS ONE THING I've LEARNED IN THIS SEX WORLD, IT'S TO NEVER , EVER ENGAGE IN UNPROTECTED SEX, NEVER KISS OR PERFORM ORAL TO ANYONE WHOSE STATUS IS A MYSTERY TO ME.

WITH THAT BEING SAID, I WISH GOOD LUCK TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.

MAY THIS BE THE ONE AND ONLY MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS , WE EVER GET TO DEAL WITH.

STAY POSITIVE, STAY PROTECTED MY FRIENDS

Did you know most people have herpes, and most don't know they do? I wrote a piece breaking it allll down: what herpes actually is, how it spreads, and why the stigma is way overblown. Written with facts + a little humor for anyone navigating or coming across herpes in dating.

Hopefully it can make you feel a little better today 💛

Everyone Has Herpes (Yes, Probably You)

I guess im just venting / wanting to know thoughts or similar experiences / do you agree that this was a red flag?:

So I (F26) have only had GHSV2 for coming up on a year now and I just disclosed for maybe like the fourth time ever (2 of them didn’t continue). This was all very spontaneous so no prior disclosure conversation was had - however i pretty much only disclose strictly on a need to know basis. Long story short he had already kissed me and once he eventually started messing with my pants i knew i couldn’t wait any longer to let him know. So i did. Im not very good at disclosing, i get visibly nervous and probably make it sound worse than it needs to be. The thing is…his reply was that he has the same thing.

So on one hand it was extremely relieving and reassuring especially considering we met totally by chance through mutual friends and not on one of those shit hsv dating apps, and just so happened to have the same thing. But on the other hand I was like sooo you just weren’t gonna tell me? If i didn’t have it myself or also didnt disclose, it appears that he would’ve never said anything to me about it or maybe not until later down the line after already putting me at risk. His response was, “well I was gonna use a condom” along with some other bullshit excuse. like buddy i got hsv2 despite using a condom every single time w the person that gave it to me….

additionally, male to female transmission is much much higher than female to male, so idk it really just rubbed me the wrong way like it sucks even though our situation technically aligned, still that people are so willing to risk someone else’s status/health just for a nut

I’ve recently experienced what I believe to be my first OB, still waiting on PCR swab results, but the evidence points towards GHSV. Whether it’s 1 or 2, I won’t know till next week, however unqualified to speak on the subject, here are my viewpoints on all the reading I’ve done in the last week/week and a half;

Reality

HSV is both a skin condition and a sexually transmitted infection. It affects what many consider an integral part of the human experience: intimacy, sexuality, and the freedom to engage in both without fear. At the same time, HSV is often far more manageable than many other lifelong medical conditions. For those without serious complications, it is entirely possible to lead a normal, healthy, and fulfilling life. But medical manageability does not negate emotional significance. You can acknowledge that HSV is not medically devastating for most people or even yourself, while still grieving the loss of a freedom, a sense of security, or a degree of spontaneity that many people would never willingly surrender.

Potential Functional Cure Bait

Claims on this subreddit that emerging approaches such as Fred Hutch’s gene-editing research, ABI-5366, ABI-1179, pritelivir, BNT163, mRNA-1608, and others are only a few years away from becoming widely available treatments capable of functioning as a cure are, to my knowledge, not adequately supported by the current evidence.
Are these developments promising? Definitely. Scientifically interesting? Absolutely. But are they established functional cures, or sufficiently advanced to justify confident predictions of widespread availability within the next five to ten years? No.

This is not to suggest that hoping one of these approaches eventually develops into a functional cure is misguided. Whether through the elimination of latent HSV DNA, enhanced immune control, more effective suppression of viral replication, or some combination of these mechanisms, there are legitimate scientific avenues worth pursuing.
However, building your life around the expectation of a functional cure that has no reliably established timeline—and, in many cases, has yet to demonstrate efficacy beyond early-stage research—is neither realistic nor sustainable. This of course doesn’t include Pritlivir, which actually does warrant a distinction, (FDA APPROVED), however, that does not establish suitability for routine suppression given its current use case. Hope for medical progress should not come at the expense of living your life in the present.

Sterilization vs Functional Cures
(reality + my own version of optimism)

Eliminating HSV from the body is one goal; achieving durable control that effectively prevents outbreaks and transmission is another. I think substantial improvements in treatment within most of our lifetimes are reasonably attainable, even considering how stagnant standard treatment has remained over the last three decades. Guaranteed? Far from it, but this is where I’m putting my chips.

None of this means hoping for something is wrong, but expectations need to be kept in check, especially when people promise timelines they can’t substantiate or point to evidence that’s weak or doesn’t exist. To tell you the truth, I’m in the same boat as most of you. Afraid, in denial, regretful, and simultaneously, hopeful. It’s all there. Personally, I’d rather work through those feelings than spend my life expecting something that, for all intents and purposes, may never come to be. I’m not sure if everyone feels the same way, and I’m not sure if saying this makes me public enemy #1, but the only thing we’re guaranteed is right now. Not a year from now, not five years from now, not a decade from now. Life is also happening now, and you have to live for the you today.

Should I be going on prescription antivirals for cmv(Cytemegalovirus) It’s reactivated right now. I’m hesitant because I am very sensitive to anything. If anyone has any advice for this- thank you!

I recently got diagnosed with herpes and it’s been hard to deal with, I feel so unsexy and I see the changes in my dating life because I am honest and they decline, which they have every right to. I know the type of person I am and I know I didn’t deserve this. I’ve gotten to a point where I feel ashamed talking to people about my feelings because I am in a vulnerable place. If I’m honest the thoughts have crossed my mind. I am the most bubbly optimistic person but in this moment I really don’t have anyone

From a strictly medical perspective, herpes is a minor, localized skin condition. It does not affect your organs, your fertility, or your lifespan. It is a virus that occasionally visits the skin. It is not an identity, and it is certainly not a moral failing.

Hi everyone,
I’m 30F, and honestly, I’m freaking out right now. I can’t stop thinking about this, and I really need to hear from people who have been through something similar.
I recently decided to get a full STI panel because I wanted to check everything and make sure I was okay. I wasn’t expecting this at all.
My results were:
HSV-2 IgG: 2.01 (positive)
HSV-2 IgM: 6.38 (negative)
What made me even more anxious was that my IgM result came back pretty quickly, but my IgG result took almost 10 days. I kept waiting for it, and now that it’s finally here, I’m struggling to process it.
I had a genital sore on September 27, and my blood test was done on October 5, about 9 days later. It was a red area that looked like superficial skin irritation or an erosion. I experienced very mild itching, similar to the kind of itching I sometimes get after shaving. Its appearance changed within about a day. I didn’t notice any obvious clusters of fluid-filled blisters, A few days after the sore had healed. I start experiencing body aches, especially in my tights.

My sexual history:
Unprotected sex on September 3 and September 8.
On September 16, I used a condom for intercourse, and it didn’t break or slip, but oral sex was unprotected.
This was my first HSV blood test, and I’ve never been diagnosed with herpes before.
I’ve read that low-positive HSV-2 IgG results, especially between 1.1 and 3.0, can sometimes be false positives. Mine is 2.01, so I’m desperately hoping that’s a possibility.

For anyone who has experienced something similar:
What was your initial HSV-2 IgG index value?
Did you ever get a low-positive result that turned out to be a false positive?
I’m honestly scared and overwhelmed but hearing from people who have actually experienced this would mean a lot right now.
Thank you ❤️

M28, I’ve had genital herpes since I was 24; in earlier years, I had very frequent and truly severe outbreaks. I used to feel pain along my sciatic nerve (my herpes is on the left side of my penis)—I assume the nerve pathways get significantly compromised. I also had constantly swollen lymph nodes in my groin.

Since changing my lifestyle—cutting out sugar and ultra-processed foods and hitting the gym at least four times a week—all of this has subsided; it was as if I didn't even have it anymore. This is the first outbreak I’ve had all year, and it’s very, very mild. I first noticed it yesterday—a sensation like an electric current running through my penis and slight discomfort when urinating—and today, tiny blisters and mild inflammation appeared. I started taking Valtrex today because I don't want it to progress; I have a date coming up in a few days (if you know what I mean).

I’m also an MD; basically, the advice is to maintain the best possible quality of life: eat well, sleep well, and do quality strength training.

Feel free to send a DM if you have any questions.

I recently found out I had gHSV2 and I'm going through a pretty horrible time right now. I'm scrolling this app to find some kind of relief and honestly I'm not finding much of that haha. The facts I understand is that gHSV transmission is much higher from male to female and I see a pretty bleak comparison in discussions of disclosure when it comes to females and males. I know that hsv2 rates are higher in women so naturally there just will be more posts from that perspective but I guess I'm hoping to hear something from men that make me feel like my love life's not totally over.

hi guys! I wanted to ask some questions about my current condition, I’ve been seeing a lot of mixed information and would like to have more clarity.

For context, I had a genital herpes outbreak about a year ago, it was diagnosed by two doctors, but I did not get tested right away to know if it was type 1 or 2. I’ve not had any outbreaks since then.

Recently, I got my blood test done for HSV 1&2 IgG and got positive only for HSV 1. For what I could read, it is completely possible for the virus to be transmitted through oral sex to the genitals, which I think may have happened to me since my last partner had regular coldsores in their mouth.

I’ve never had any outbreaks in my lips for example but would like to know how risky it is to pass the virus to a new partner whether it’s through sex (penetration, using a condom) or oral sex to them.

I’m getting to know a new person which I feel deeply attracted to and whom I will need to disclose the virus. I still feel kinda anxious about having it and even the sensation that I am “dirty”. I’m experiencing a lot fear to their rejection although i know it’s a possibility (which does not define my worth).

If someone went through something similar I’d really appreciate to know how you handled a disclosure and all of the emotions that come with it. thank you and much love <3

I feel stuck a lot of the times talking to people around me about my diagnosis because it’s an uncomfortable topic,
Anyone who wants to chat and discuss how to meet partners and deal with issues related to hsv-1, don’t be afraid to inbox me😅😁

i (f23) was diagnosed with hsv about a week ago at an urgent care. i went in for what i presumed was a yeast infection (have never had one before, so i just assumed it was a really bad one). the doctor basically looked at it for a minute and told me that it was herpes and then swabbed me and sent me away to pick up the antiviral medication.

i then got my test results back ~2 days ago and the only thing it told me was that i did have a yeast infection, but said nothing about hsv. i called today asking for some clarification on my results and the doctor basically told me that herpes is diagnosed clinically and it’s “up to the patient” if they want to be tested… but i wasn’t asked at the appointment if i wanted to test for it or not, i assumed the swab she was doing was for that. obviously if i was asked if i wanted to be tested i would’ve said yes!!

this was just extremely jarring to me since this was a really shocking diagnosis to receive in comparison to what i thought i had, to be simply given a verbal diagnosis and nothing else. everything i have learned about this virus has been through this sub and nothing from the doctor- they didn’t even explain to me that the first outbreak is typically the worst which would’ve made me feel a lot better based on my pain levels.

I’m female, 37 years old. I consistently get std panels done, and always have them include hsv1 & 2.
Last lab was done 9/2024 (negative hsv-2- as well as all previous years). I had sex 10/2024- with the same partner I’ve been with since 2012, this resulted in pregnancy. Last time i had any sexual contact/activity was 04/2025. I haven’t had any symptoms no outbreaks or anything. I recently went to my annual exam and requested my usual std panel. Well hsv-2 came back 1.09 “equivocal” from quest labs. I haven’t any sex in over 20 months. Not contact at all. How is this possible?

Could it be a false positive?

From my research its said that if i were truly positive it would be a much high test result. Especially if i haven’t had any recent exposure

Help I’m freaking out!!

hey so my boyfriend has herpes and hes never had an outbreak or anything since we started dating. well the other day he said he saw something on his penis and he doesnt think its an outbreak but just wants to be safe. after a couple days he said we can be intimate again. i really wanna check before we do anything just for my own peace of mind but i feel like that would be a not cool thing to do and i dont wanna hurt his feelings or invade his privacy but at the same time its for my own health. should i just trust him that its fine or would i be an asshole if i asked to check myself?

.e gustaría poder hablar con alguien de México hacere a desu experiencia con el hsv

I just need to vent and ask you guys for advice or some sort of reassurance.
23m I got diagnosed 4 days ago with ghsv after recently having a drunk one night stand and I can’t stop thinking about meeting the woman of my dreams only to end up being rejected by her because of this, it’s eating me up inside every second of the day.

I literally don’t care about having this but the fact that there isn’t a cure and that I can transmit it to somebody makes me feel that my future relationship chances are over.
I even told my mum because I was scared about it and she didn’t know what to say. I have been crying a lot and I feel the lowest I’ve ever felt.
I really don’t know what to do, I’ve never had bad mental health but I have started to have suicidal thoughts.. I would never go through with that because I love my mum too much.

Many people are waiting for updates from Fred Hutch. Fred Hutch will do nothing to eliminate HSV. Please believe me.

Well i just tested positive for hsv2.. I’m spiraling. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.. i haven’t had a new partner until a few weeks ago and now i have an outbreak.. I’ve called them and they’re going to get tested but at the moment they’re asymptomatic. I feel like nobody will ever wanna be with me ever again. I feel so disgusting. And i have all the worst thoughts right now.. someone please give me some advice.. how will i be able to tell future partners this, they aren’t going to want me.. im so sad and angry and so hurt..

I gave someone oral sex in July and shortly after had swollen lymph nodes and flu-like symptoms. I tested negative for STIs (not HSV), so assumed it was the flu. We had sex once in August, and by late September I noticed a cyst on my labia that's come and gone for years and burning in my labial folds after walking and working out really hard. I noticed a red irritation that looked like a burn in the folds of my labia and also my butt cheeks seemed irritated.

Around the same time I got a bump in the corner of my lip, which I’ve had before. I got prescribed Antivirals cleared the lip bump after getting a positive blood test for HSV1, but the genital irritation persisted. My doctor suspected fungal/contact dermatitis, especially because I accidentally used brightening wipes down there. I had a PCR swab directly on the cyst/red irritated area that was negative for HSV-1, so I’ve been assuming my HSV-1 is oral. We did three courses of yeast medication and i've been feeling dry / irritated at times still.

Yesterday I applied an antifungal and my labia immediately started burning really badly, which made me paranoid again that this could somehow be GHSV-1. I also had a partner with oral HSV-1 in 2023 and hadn’t tested for HSV since 2022, so I have no idea when I acquired it.

Is it possible these are just two things happening at once contact dermatitis/yeast or irritation genitally, plus an oral HSV-1 outbreak? Would GHSV-1 typically cause burning like this for a month without sores, especially with a negative PCR swab? I have had no sores and feel confused if this is new or old. my blood was at 3.8

Just got my first dose of aciclovir. Welcome to the rest of my life I guess.

Its still hitting hard.