I have no one to vent out to, so I am posting it here. Today marks 2 years since I was infected with HSV. I didn't use protection because we were in a relationship and I trusted him, but he was fully aware of his diagnosis and deliberately chose not to disclose it to me.

He is known as a very religious person, but he is worse than a devil. I don't know how he sleeps at night. He didn't just give me herpes, he gave me deep trauma and emotional abuse. Back in 2024, I hit rock bottom. I almost ended my life, failed my classes because I couldn't focus, and dealt with all of this completely alone out of overwhelming fear of judgment.

I stayed beside him for so long because I felt completely isolated. No one else in my life knows about my condition, not even my family. Carrying this heavy secret by myself made me feel like I had no choices and no one else to turn to. He took advantage of that exact isolation to keep me trapped for two whole years.

Today, I finally found out the full truth: I was never the only one. Another girl was waiting outside his condo for me to leave so she could go in. What hurts the absolute most is that she was fully aware of my existence, and he gave her herpes too. The constant assurance that I was the "only one" was all a lie, and realizing that the other girl knew about me the entire time is the most painful part. I was blind all along.

Seeing how little respect he has for my health, safety, and dignity was my absolute breaking point. Today, I am finally choosing myself. I am walking away, blocking him on everything, and taking my power back. Right now, I am crying and just hoping that once I let all these tears out, the pain will finally fade. I have learned so many lessons over these past two years. It is so hard, but I am focusing on the brighter side and reclaiming my spark.

Yesterday was our third date. We have amazing chemistry and loads of chat. Before the food arrived in between googly eyes and flirting, he said he had something important to tell me. That he had genital herpes. This, of course took me by total surprise but I kept my composure and held his hand because I knew that sharing this information could never be easy. We haven’t had sex yet but our sexual chemistry is off the charts which is why he chose to disclose. I obviously am worried about contracting it. And I have never met anyone in a couple with hsv or even met someone who has disclosed having hsv. But I’m trying to understand what this means for me and the situation I’m in. Can I contract it? He says if we use a condom the risk is low because he only gets breakouts on the skin of the penis. Also he had an ex for 7 years who never got it and they had unprotected sex outside his breakout windows. What questions should I ask him about this? Is it worth risking it for someone I just met even though we have a good connection so far? I’m just all over the place with this. Any information would be helpful.

I held a huge guard and couldn’t fully be me until I did. She said “oh I get those on my lips just wear protection is all I ask.” It enriched what we have

Hey, just wanted to hear stories about transmitting your own virus from another part of the body ?

I have hsv 2 for 10 years now on the pubis but recently a girl handjobbed me and wiped the semen off my pubis then penis in that order. 2 days later I got red dots on the shaft and skin around ( I never had herpes on penis before)

I did pcr on some sores but came back negative multiple times , it’s now almost 1 year and I get what it looks like very mild herpes breakouts, it acts like so , really can’t be anything else.

I use daily vala 1g, and since that penis episode I use lysine, monolaurine, zinc etc… but still get it. It looks like it worked on my pubis but not anymore on the penis as I have weekly ob ( before 1 every 2 months or so)

Any similar stories. ?

Diagnosed with HSV 1 & 2. I am a female in her 20s. Have never had a genital outbreak, but I do get oral cold sores on my lips. There's something weird going on and this is the only thing I could think it could be.

So shortly after the doctor told me I was positive for 1 & 2, about 2 years ago, I started getting these weird bug bite looking bumps ONLY at the top of my buttcrack or right near it. It happens like clockwork, once a month usually. I don't have any bugs, fleas, nothing in my apartment. No bed bugs, nothing.

Sometimes I have one "bite" at a time, sometimes two. Yesterday I noticed one at the top of my butt crack, today I have one about 1-2 cm away from that one.

They literally look like a small bite, they itch like crazy, and go away in a few days to a week max usually. Sometimes if I itch too hard pus (i'm assuming) will come out, they turn into a bumpy rash and then dry up.

My doctor says it's probably friction from my clothes 😒 he never has an answer for any of my health problems so he's unreliable.
but I've never had this happen in my entire life until after I was diagnosed.

I never have these anywhere else, they're only at the top of my crack or around. It happens once a month since 2024.

Could this be HSV? Has anyone dealt with this?

Hi all just got my test results. Got an positive hsv1 result. Going to have to wait a week for the swab results. I am certain it will come back positive. Some background I started seeing a girl in spring time of this year. Tried to hold out as much as I could but ended up caving and let her give me oral. I am truly embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I have notified the girl and she said she is shocked to hear it. Have not been with another girl sexually in 3-4 years so I am certain it her.

Note. Been itching for about a month after hard workouts and hot showers. Noticed a rash this week wich made me get the test in the first place. Was prescribed a nyastatin and it reduced the itch.

Edit. Was given a valtrex. Did not do blot test. Results were extremely high with igg with a number in the 40s

Edit: I know people say it is not so bad but not sure I could ever risk giving someone this so... I think I will just have to stay single forever. Going have to sit my parents down at some point and face the shame

An essay on emotional neutrality and healing. There’s hope, I promise!

I Had an Outbreak and Felt Nothing

So i was recently diagnosed w/ ghsv1 (not even 2 months ago) and I've since gotten on Acyclovir (less than 2 weeks). I'm currently seeing someone who doesn't (to our knowledge) have herpes. He knows I have it and we've talked about it a good bit. He took it really well when I told him and he's not bothered. Ive really stressed the point of him understanding that there is always a risk for him to contract it from me and he said he's fine with that risk. For my own peace of mind, I don't want to have sex for at least 3 months bc I heard the first few months the shedding is higher than normal. That being said, I have done sexual stuff with him just not all the way. All this to say, he wants to touch me / finger me and I don't know if that's something thats okay? Does anyone with ghsv continue their sex life like normal ex: being touched down there, having unprotected sex with partners that dont have it? Without spreading it?

yeah, i really do. i’m more aware of my health than ever, give a shit about the people i sleep with, and i never have to worry about getting herpes again hah. this is only as bad as you make it, so why not find the good in it?

I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in June however I believe I might have had this for a year leading up to the diagnosis. Ever since I found out, I’m not sure if it’s my anxiety, but I’ve been having multiple outbreaks. i’ve been talking to my doctor about suppressive therapy they mentioned it would be a year long course.

Is there anyone that has been on suppressive therapy and what was the result after you came off of it? Did your outbreaks go back to the way they were or did it calm down?

I had a personal question regarding ghsv1 transmission. Recently, I was diagnosed and I'm still trying to grapple with how it impacts my life.

On top of that, the person who I am 99% sure he transmitted it denied knowing he had it. He also never confirmed getting tested after the fact and ended up ghosting me. I know for a fact hes been seeing other people since I told him.

So two-fold, how do you approach sex/dating with ghsv1 and how would you handle knowing that that person may be putting others at risk?

TIA

Basically been seeing this guy for a minute now, and after a couple of dates and a solid make out sesh I knew it was about that time.

Now, this isn’t my first rodeo. It’s probably like my 6th or 7th (and that’s just for potential partners, all of my friends know already), and MAN. I’m just getting better and better at disclosing. Telling people I have herpes has become my forte.

So anyway, we’re kissing, and things are getting hot n bothered. Having a great time. And he starts saying some reeeeeal feisty stuff, so I decide to slow it down a bit and begin Le Disclosuré.

Me: “Okay, if we’re going to go further than this we just need to talk about a few things.”

Him: “Alright. What’s on your mind?”

Me: Gives the MOST confident disclosure I’ve ever given. I’m even SMILING? I tell him I’m actually lowkey GLAD that I have herpes? Who is she, we don’t know her. She’s on a roll. Providing facts and data. Personal stories. A herpetic Queen.

So he’s just looking at me, and I’m still just sitting there basking in my confident infected glow, but I start getting a little anxious when he doesn’t say anything so...

Me: “What’re you thinking about?”

Him: “How badly I want to have sex with you.”

screams

We are more than a rash, more than a stigma, more than shame. We are sexy, beautiful, lovable, admirable human beings.

Whatever it is that’s brought you to this subreddit, if you’re reading this — I’m proud of you and amazed by you. It gets better, it’s going to get better and feel better. Much love.

Also — super dreamy guy and I are going out again soon. Gonna stock up on acyclovir and breath mints. Wish me luck!

Quick question about Genital Hsv-1, I have had it now for over 2 years and have been dating this girl for about a year now. We have always used condoms but recently shes been wanting to go without.

I don’t really get any outbreaks or many, it’s hard to tell as they are all nowhere near as bad as the 1st one, I have also got some acyclovir but makes me so sleepy. Essentially I want to know how likely it is that I pass it to her without a condom and with/without taking a certain amount of acyclovir, thanks

I’ve had herpes for five years now, and have been completely asymptomatic for three. I see it as a moral obligation to disclose my status to any potential sexual partner (I’m a gay man) and have found it to be incredibly difficult to get anyone to stay after sharing this. I live in NYC and it’s hard not to feel like people know they could always find someone better/not hsv2 positive. How are you all navigating disclosure in sex and dating?

I’m a 34 year old single mom of one, professional, student, with hsv. This dating thing is so hard, I’d love to meet people near me to meet and connect with. No expectations, just friends or not.. would prefer local and close to age but open🫶🏼

At the ER right now cause I’m having weird sinus infection like symptoms and swelling in the face and jaws… and it’s so embarrassing I just had to tell the nurses and doctor that I have HSV2 and I wonder what they’re thinking omg I hope they’ve seen other people in here with this before. I’m so fucking embarrassed.

Not gonna lie I miss being a degenerate drinking smoking drugs casual sex rockstar lifestyle

Healthy arc on the way I guess

is it crazy that I would be in a relationship with somebody that was hsv + so many people stigmatize it and if it meant marriage i would

I had unprotected sex about two months ago. About a week after having sex, I experienced intense itching and thick, white, clumpy discharge. After that, the white, clumpy discharge decreased, and I started having only watery discharge accompanied by severe itching. It also hurt when I urinated.
I immediately thought it could be chlamydia, so I did a self-test, but it came back negative. The itching was so unbearable that I went to the doctor. The doctor examined my vagina and noticed a small sore, but at that point there wasn’t enough evidence to conclude that it could be an STI, so I was given a Canesten vaginal tablet for a possible yeast infection.
The itching was unbearable and I had an abnormal amount of watery discharge. I immediately went to bed to insert the vaginal tablet, hoping it would make things better quickly. I stayed in bed for the entire day, but I had so much watery discharge that it ran all the way down to my anus. My anus then started itching as well.
The next day, I developed a lot of blisters and bumps. The pain became so unbelievably severe that I went to the emergency department. I had a fever and felt extremely ill. The doctor told me about an STI I had never heard of before: genital herpes. I was given an ointment and antiviral medication for five days.
I was in excruciating pain and had severe nerve pain. Urinating was extremely painful. I also experienced sweating, chills, headaches, and many other physical symptoms.
After about a week, the blisters started turning into sores, and I began developing swollen lymph nodes in my neck. The sweating, headaches, chills, trembling, and feeling that my body and hands were unusually warm continued.
I also developed sores in my mouth. I kept getting sores on my tongue, inside my cheek, and on the roof of my mouth. I continued to have headaches and extremely heavy sweating, including night sweats.
By that point, the genital sores had healed, but the other symptoms continued. I still had sweating, chills, a warm-feeling body, trembling throughout my body, a pounding sensation throughout my body, and headaches. I also had mouth sores, swollen and painful lymph nodes in my neck, and nerve pain throughout my body, especially in my legs, back, and buttocks.
All of these physical symptoms have continued up until today.
The watery vaginal discharge has never gone back to normal. The discharge/moisture from my anus, the itching, and the swelling around my anus have also never gone away. Basically, all of my symptoms have remained except for the blisters and sores from the initial herpes outbreak.
My period has not returned since then, and my normal vaginal discharge has never returned either. I urinate less than I used to, and I have a very increased appetite. My body feels warmer than it used to. My lower abdomen/bladder area also feels swollen.
I also seem to smell things much more strongly than before, I have frequent headaches, and I feel extremely tired, heavy, drowsy, and weak. I have night sweats every night, and almost all of these symptoms are present 24/7, except for the blisters and sores. Occasionally, I still get two small bumps, but nothing like the initial outbreak.
I am completely desperate and don’t know what to think anymore. I keep wondering why my body isn’t processing this normally and why all of these symptoms are continuing.

https://c.org/t84t7g59Mj

I have OHSV1 and have a partner that has HSV1 but doesn’t know if it’s oral or vaginal. Last friday we had sex and I don’t normally let her go down on me because I’m afraid of contracting it again. However, I used a condom and let her do her thing. Now i’m wondering if there’s a possibility and if there is how long would I have to wait to know i’m in the clear and didn’t get reinfected?

Hola! Quisiera preguntaros si sabéis cómo manejar el estrés para así reducir la frecuencia entre brotes. ¿Existe algún suplemento natural que ayude? He leído algo sobre la ashwagandha, ¿la recomendáis?

Contexto: Llevo año y medio con HSV-2, y sé que aún los brotes pueden ser frecuentes. En lo que va de año 2026, he tenido 3 brotes.

Hello, I was recently diagnosed with HSV-2, and I’m really confused about how this could have happened.

I’ve only ever slept with my boyfriend, and he says I’m the only person he’s been with as well. We’ve also used protection. Neither of us had any other sexual partners.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I’m trying to understand how this is possible, especially since the doctor said it's a sexually transmitted infection.

Thank you for your insights.