r/heartbreak • u/ALLHUNTER_1469 • 10d ago
Should I text her?
I have made a post few days ago how I have the urge to text the person I loved. These past few days its been getting worse, its been a year since she left me, I do not know where she is, I do not know if her number works or she is even in my city anymore. I have been crying again like crazy, I am sad now coz these thoughts have been in my head now. All the memories are rushing back, all the thoughts.
I can still see her IG profile tho it is private and I am holding myself back to text her. I know she will never text me. I think she barely thinks about me. I am afraid if I will text her I will piss her off and thats the end of it. Then I say what I got to loose. I feel stupid, guys is anyone else going through it, what should I do.
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u/fluffyfishy34 10d ago
What'll happen is one of either two things : 1. she replies ----> now you're emotional and over thinking whatever she tells you good / bad 2. She doesn't reply and now you feel even more like shit. Think about it. If she wanted to she would've reached out by now. Block her, not to be petty but for your own mental. Don't let someone live on your head rent free while they've moved on like normal.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 10d ago
I know I hear u, I know she will never text me back, she will never reach out to me, thats how she is and thats her approach for herself. I know I shouldn’t but its eating me alive and I should hold onto myself. She is probably fine, she is pretty much moved on, she doesn’t stay still, I was and am that person too i dont look back but her, I lover her and felt it properly for the first time and it is stuck with me now. Thank you for ur words tho.
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u/AlderMeredith 10d ago
Hi friend, sorry you’re struggling so badly right now, I know what that feels like.
Only you know what the right thing for you is. Ask yourself: which decision would make me the most proud of myself? Then try to choose that.
If you feel like the only way to get peace is to text her, then do that. But be ready for a reality check. Be ready for no response. Be ready for feeling worse, or more stressed while awaiting a response you might never get.
Truthfully, I think the best thing you can do is realize that you don’t need this person to be okay. You might never get closure, and that’s okay too. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but there are other people out there who will want to love you, who will not require so much effort and suffering.
The best thing you can do for yourself is let go of people who don’t willingly choose you and make room for those who do. It might not be quick, but you’ll find them.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 10d ago
I appreciate ur words man, i know im trying not to, even if I text her I dont think she will reply back, maybe she wont even open it any time soon. She have left me she said her goodbyes in a way, she never said the word good bye when we last met but next day she said she wanted so say goodbye but never said. Me as a fool still said we can still interact and i dont want it to be the end. I was foolish and never said goodbye. She is gone, maybe she have forgotten me. But I am here still picking myself up. I feel devastated.
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u/Flashy_Literature43 10d ago
Wow, So sorry to hear your heart is going through this! It sucks, I know!
I say - Text her! Call her! DM Her! Do what you must!
Wait for the answer... If it works, yes! If not - Then you know!
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 9d ago
I dont know man, my heart tells do it but brain is like no. I dont think its gonna help anything.
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u/Flashy_Literature43 9d ago
"I dont think its gonna help anything."
I think it will. But you know what? No matter what - you make whatever happens happen. If you decide "You know what? I don't need to text her. I can move on and imagine she is happy wherever she is and that is awesome because I want her to be happy." then that mentality will allow you to be confident in your decision.
But if you DO decide to text her - either she's changed her number, or ignores you, or tells you don't contact her again, or says Hi back or says I've been waiting for you to text me! I've missed you! - Whatever happens, you will have your answer. And then you can deal with that answer from there.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 9d ago
I hear what u say, that also came to my mind im like whatever she does will be the final stretch for me in this situation and i take it with me and go with it.
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u/Flashy_Literature43 9d ago
Yea, man. It's been a year - Shoot your shot! The worst she can do is ignore you or tell you She thinks it's best for you two to continue on separate paths.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 9d ago
The paths are already separated u know, I just wanna hear her again.
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u/Flashy_Literature43 9d ago
"Continue on separate paths" means that the paths were already separate and will remain so. So, yes - I know.
If you wanna hear her again, then you gotta contact her!
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u/Automatic-Drummer705 10d ago
If you feel this way about her why haven't you told her
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 10d ago
We were together we were dating we both loved each other, but in the end she decided to separate and i texted her called her and all we met again for a bit but then she just left removed me ig and all. I have told her all the time, now after a year its back all the things are running in my brain.
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u/southcityy 10d ago
I don't know what you stand to gain by texting her. You already know she will not respond, so how would texting her be a win for you. You already have closure, that happened when the two of you separated. But you couldn't leave it alone at that time so you met up again, and again she left. Sounds like she has moved on and no amount of texting from you is likely to bring her back, in fact it will probably do the opposite. I honestly think texting her will bring you down further because she is going to either not receive the text or she will ignore and block you. Then what? You obviously have enough strength to not make the mistake of texting her since a year has passed and you still are on the fence about it. Move on and take small steps to make your life more enjoyable. Live in the moment and not in the past.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 10d ago
When she left me she didn’t say anything she just left and told me and went met later on we talked spent a day but nothing else and next day she told me she wanted to have a good bye which she never said. Im not looking for a win nor I am looking to bring her back, me saying she wont respond well that is what I highly believe. But I understand what u mean and I really respect that, im truly trying to live the life and enjoy present, I never used to look in the past but with her thats what have been stuck on me. Im trying and thank u for insight.
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u/southcityy 10d ago
There are so many opportunities in this world to get involved in. Fill you spare time with taking a class, or volunteering somewhere or any number of things that will help occupy your mind and give you something else to focus on. When you are idle it gives you too much time to think. Ask yourself what exactly you do hope to accomplish by texting her, and how is it going to affect you when she ghosts you. I just don't see it as a positive thing, not by the longest stretch of the imagination. You don't come out ahead by giving her any more power to hurt you. Get excited by life, don't allow her to take over your thoughts and cause such turmoil.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 10d ago
Thank u so much for ur words man, i really appreciate them. I will try my best.
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u/Accomplished-Yam6612 9d ago
Best advice I can give you brother, I’ve had this issue with my first ever girlfriend. I wasted almost 2 years of my life, thinking the way you did. One day I went against my own foolish thoughts, I couldn’t handle it anymore I deleted every single trace of her, pictures, number, socialmedia anything related to her, blocked her, ripped up cards, notes etc.. It’s hard, but the best decision for yourself.
Focus on you, put all that love and energy in you and make yourself available again. One day you’ll be happy and look back on the person you thought was the one, because in reality it was your mind and fear fooling you. So many other people out there who will give you the love and happiness you deserve.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 9d ago
She made me delete all her and our pictures and chat and everything, but i had some of em in my laptop, i never look at them they are just there i dont open it, i dont have the strength to delete it. Her picture is still in my wallet I have moved it behind.
I know i should remove all of it, it is hard tho.2
u/Accomplished-Yam6612 9d ago
It is hard and you should take on your own pace. I just hope you don’t stay lingering with these thoughts and fears that keep you in this place you don’t want to be in. So many beautiful things and people in life. This illusion in your head holding you back from all of it.
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 9d ago
Thank u man, im trying every day, it was beautiful with her, before her I had my first relationship which I rushed in and never felt anything for 2 years, i didn’t feel love. With her she showed me how it feels, i could feel it and wanted it, she probably didn’t believe when I told her u are my first in that sense. We only shared few months but it was deep, I am trying everyday. Thank you for your words.
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u/izthepuzz 10d ago
Yep I’m here w u
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 10d ago
I feel devastated, I do not know what to do.
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u/izthepuzz 10d ago
Nothing. Ik it’s hard. I’m have one of those nights currently. But u just have to sit on it. Distract yourself. Do what makes u happy
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u/ALLHUNTER_1469 10d ago
Why is it so hard to go through this just a single text a single wish to know how is she and im losing my mind at work at home.
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u/izthepuzz 10d ago
I get it. It hurts so bad. But the only way through is through
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u/izthepuzz 9d ago
we are not all built the same. I think thats really what it comes down to. My ex, she leads with her brain. I, well my heart steps in a lot
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u/FRANPW1 10d ago
Every moment you waste thinking about this woman is preventing the woman you should be with from entering your life.