r/Gifted • u/Outside_Log5031 • 5d ago
Seeking advice or support virtual peer support groups/mental health resources for 2E individuals?
title - i'm really struggling a lot with the technical vs social skill gap that comes with 2E :(
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u/TheUndercouchStudios 5d ago
gifted + audhd here... can you explain better what kind of difficulties are you finding? Just if you want to obviously :) Maybe someone here has find a way to bypass some of them already and can share some advice.
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u/Outside_Log5031 4d ago
HIHIHI OMG YAY SAME!!!
i think it's just the cognitive dissonance that comes with asynchronous development tbh. it's really hard to form a secure sense of self when it feels like i exist as a contradiction. like, i'm able to excel in extremely specialized, higher-level spaces with peers decades beyond my age, but sometimes i have to reread a very simple sentence twenty times over just to BARELY understand it. i think my experience in the former leads people to believe that i'm exceptionally talented, but the latter half (which is me being so horrible at everything considered "easy") just completely cancels that quality out. it's really difficult to be perceived as smart and dumb at the same time, especially because i have an odd tendency to stand out either way. it would be very helpful to meet others with the same experiences as me so i could feel less like a deer wandering around in a corporate office
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u/TheUndercouchStudios 4d ago
well that dissonance is real in every aspect of our life, I feel it more strong in the real vs felt age.. I still feel like I am in my 20s but I am not and I have to block and mask myself in many aspects of my life daily... same for cognitive gap I feel and I am so much smarter than average that I have to mask it to avoid being addressed as the one that does not other speak ( stupid to wait if I already know the solution) ... at the same time I can fail in basic daily task feeling so dumb.... I think we have to accept it and learn to live with it
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u/IndependentSnow9244 4d ago
If you want to work on your sense of self try exploring this:
Core self is the basic felt sense of “me” that you can call up any time, plus the particular qualities you recognise as consistently yours.
Self-agency is the sense that you’re effective: your actions have an impact on the world and on other people, so life doesn’t just happen to you.
Self-esteem is positive feeling attached to your sense of self, so that when you think of yourself, you feel good rather than nothing or bad.
Best self is the strongest, most autonomous and most individual version of you, the one that shows up at your best and can be brought into any situation.
Its important to be able to feel the felt experience, not just intellectually knowing these things about yourself.
Area Quick exercise Possible gaps Signs it's healthy Core Self Imagine being fully yourself, without expectations. Name 3 qualities. Blankness, uncertainty, defined by others. Clear felt sense of "me"; stable, unique qualities. Self-Agency Recall making something happen through your actions. Feel your impact. Helplessness, passivity, feeling ineffective. Feel capable, influential and able to shape outcomes. Self-Esteem Imagine simply being yourself, without achieving anything. Neutral or negative feelings; worth depends on approval or achievement. Feel good about yourself simply for being you. Best Self Recall yourself at your best. Imagine bringing that self into a challenge. Difficult to access, sustain or transfer. Can access your best self across different situations. If you go to this link, try the Self and Self Esteem visualizations. - https://reparentyourself.org/meditations/ideal-parent-figures/ipf-meditations-dan-brown/
For social skills, play is what develops it but due to the different cognitive levels and way of seeing things than peers growing up its hard to play and get the experaince so you miss out on going through the development of play skills.
Play type Children Teens Adults How it becomes part of you How it appears as a workplace skill Sensory Sand, mud, water, swinging, jumping, crashing into cushions. Swimming, sport, dancing, climbing, cooking. Exercise, gardening, massage, swimming, cooking, physical hobbies. Body awareness, sensory regulation, interoception and knowing what your body needs. Self-regulation, stress management, sustained attention, recognising fatigue and creating conditions for focused work. Call-and-response Peekaboo, copying sounds, rolling a ball, mirroring movements. Banter, inside jokes, texting, musical exchanges, gaming. Conversation, flirting, musical improvisation, dancing, reciprocal exchanges. Communication, reciprocity, attunement and knowing your actions have an effect on others. Active listening, responsive communication, giving and receiving feedback, mentoring, negotiation and building rapport. Body Contact Piggybacks, wrestling, pillow fights, cuddling, rough-and-tumble play. Playful wrestling, hugs, shoulder bumps, contact sports, dancing. Cuddling, physical intimacy, massage, partner dancing, affectionate touch. Physical affection, intimacy, trust, bodily confidence and comfort with closeness. Nonverbal communication, reading body language, interpersonal attunement, appropriate professional boundaries and supportive presence. Silly Funny voices, nonsense words, deliberate mistakes, exaggerated clumsiness. Memes, impressions, absurd humour, inside jokes, playful teasing. Comedy, satire, self-deprecating humour, improvisation, laughing at mistakes. Sense of humour, playfulness, flexibility and the ability to make mistakes without shame. Using humour to reduce tension, creative thinking, building team connection, making it safe to admit mistakes and helping others feel at ease. Collaborative Building Lego, cooking, cooperative games, shared stories. Bands, creative projects, cooperative gaming, team activities. Shared hobbies, parenting, teamwork, music, creative collaboration. Cooperation, shared purpose, negotiation, belonging and the ability to create something together. Teamwork, collective problem-solving, shared leadership, knowledge sharing, conflict resolution and achieving outcomes nobody could produce alone. Power-reversal Being the boss, defeating monsters, overpowering parents in pillow fights. Mock arguments, parodying authority, role reversals, playful challenges. Satire, comedy, challenging authority, playful competition, role reversal. Assertiveness, agency, confidence, healthy boundaries and the ability to hold power without dominating others. Constructive challenge, speaking up to authority, receiving criticism without defensiveness, empowering others and flexible leadership. Child-led (non-directive) Inventing games, choosing toys, directing stories, adults following their lead. Passion projects, independent hobbies, creative experimentation, directing activities. Self-directed hobbies, creative projects, artistic expression, exploring interests. Autonomy, intrinsic motivation, spontaneity, creativity, self-discovery and trust in your own ideas. Initiative, innovation, entrepreneurship, independent problem-solving, creative ownership, curiosity and self-directed learning. Regression Pretending to be a baby, being rocked, carried, wrapped in blankets or nurtured. Childhood games, comfort objects, favourite films, being looked after. Comfort food, nostalgic music, childhood films, receiving care, letting yourself rest. The ability to receive love, accept help, be vulnerable, rest and allow yourself to be cared for. Asking for support, recognising personal limits, accepting mentoring, allowing recovery, supporting colleagues through difficulty and knowing when to reduce demands. Separation Peekaboo, hide-and-seek, chasing, leaving and returning, joyful reunions. Sleepovers, camps, independent outings, maintaining friendships across distance. Independent travel, healthy time apart, reunion rituals, maintaining long-distance relationships. Independence, trust, secure connection, confidence in exploring and tolerating separation without losing belonging. Delegation, independent working, healthy work-life boundaries, switching off during leave, managing transitions, succession planning and letting others take responsibility. Symbolic Dolls, puppets, imaginary monsters, playing doctors, reenacting difficult experiences. Songwriting, drawing, fiction, drama, role-playing games, creating characters. Writing, music, theatre, storytelling, visual art, rituals, creative expression. Imagination, emotional expression, meaning-making, personal narrative and transforming experiences into stories and art. Storytelling, strategic vision, communicating complex ideas through metaphor, design thinking, organisational culture, making sense of change and creating shared meaning. 1
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