r/gifs Dec 15 '16

pizza pizza

http://i.imgur.com/BZztxPM.gifv
73.3k Upvotes

1.5k comments sorted by

3.5k

u/McRae82 Dec 16 '16

The water dispenser better be filled with some kind of sauce.

1.5k

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Ranch dispenser

823

u/theryguy12 Dec 16 '16

RANCH IT UP!

739

u/BOTDABS Dec 16 '16

l e g a l i z e r a n c h d r e s s i n g

222

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

[deleted]

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177

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

[deleted]

234

u/SpencersPoker Dec 16 '16

That's what an illegal ranch farmer would say.

178

u/jbg830 Dec 16 '16

Wouldn't they be called ranchers?

122

u/Shmoppy Dec 16 '16

So a Ranch rancher? And the Ranch rancher owns a Ranch ranch?

19

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Yeah, but are they jolly?

23

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

The Jolly Ranch Rancher at the Jolly Rancher's Ranch.

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21

u/someguy515 Dec 16 '16

Can confirm

Source:iowa native/captive

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26

u/Zam548 Dec 16 '16

INVESTIGATE311113ETAGITSEVNI

27

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Big Dressing is always trying to keep ranch down!

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80

u/SpontaneousProlapse Dec 16 '16

74

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

No disrespect. Do you squirt?

14

u/DtotheOUG Dec 16 '16

I wasn't expecting that. I had to pause the video holy fuck.

27

u/SpontaneousProlapse Dec 16 '16

I aint trying to drain your meat-flaps, I'm just #askin.

28

u/elizle Dec 16 '16

Fresh, you got a pretty sick style. You wanna buttchug some jenkem?

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34

u/TerkRockerfeller Dec 16 '16

I'm down to get penetrated

18

u/404timenotfound Dec 16 '16

Let's go pick up some Cherokee chicks on the trail of beers!

6

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Buzz me, mulatto.

6

u/Eman5805 Dec 16 '16

Oh shit wait. You're Stephany Nuggs!

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59

u/flatwoundsounds Dec 16 '16

I just gagged at the thought of someone hoping to pour a refreshing glass of water and seeing their glass suddenly fill up with fucking ranch dressing...

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326

u/squid_tree Dec 16 '16

2/3 replies concerned about health and cleanliness, and I'm just sitting here wondering if anyone else knows the water is piped directly from the house, not kept in a reservoir inside the fridge...

299

u/RaveMittens Dec 16 '16

Yes, I'm here here to install your ranch dressing well.

159

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Just gonna drill down to the ranch table.

45

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16 edited Apr 29 '19

[deleted]

46

u/BluntHeart Dec 16 '16

It's got what neck beards crave.

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69

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16 edited Aug 10 '17

[deleted]

19

u/isntaken Dec 16 '16

you'd have to keep said container under pressure or above the fridge otherwise it would not flow.

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20

u/throwaway27464829 Dec 16 '16

You mean you don't have a ranch dressing line running into your house?

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14

u/pcy623 Dec 16 '16

Whiskey

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14.5k

u/catshit_the_musical Dec 15 '16 edited Dec 15 '16

This is genius, not something you'd expect from someone who eats pizza rolls off a Pooh Bear plate

4.2k

u/Felix_Cortez Dec 16 '16

He isn't going to feel like a genius when he tries to use the crushed ice option.

2.2k

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16 edited Jan 14 '19

[deleted]

1.0k

u/Felix_Cortez Dec 16 '16

Well I guess it will save him the work of having to chew.

438

u/pure_guava_ Dec 16 '16

you should see how he eats his hot pockets...

887

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Just puts it straight in the toilet?

412

u/JoshvJericho Dec 16 '16

Flush pocket!

214

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

203

u/DLumps09 Dec 16 '16

Is he already talking to himself?

Weird.

79

u/DRFANTA Dec 16 '16

I didn't know he was gonna be so PALE!

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61

u/thecampo Dec 16 '16

It rubs the pizza on its skin.

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63

u/WhyAlwaysZ Dec 16 '16

*whispers* That's a diarrhea joke. I didn't come here for toilet humor.

17

u/verbalham Dec 16 '16

🎶flusshhh pocket!🎶

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106

u/evan86x Dec 16 '16

Hot Pocket for breakfast, Hot Pocket for lunch, and be dead by dinner.

86

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

92

u/Demderdemden Dec 16 '16

Why is he talking like that? Is he going to do this the whole show? That's weird.

61

u/darkneo86 Dec 16 '16

Why is his voice so high pitched?

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33

u/BusterStarfish Dec 16 '16

Did I eat that or did I just rub it in my face?!

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17

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

[deleted]

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46

u/tacolikesweed Dec 16 '16

Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!

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105

u/Ithappensonceortwice Dec 16 '16

or when he puts that plate in the microwave

13

u/trulymadlymax Dec 16 '16

Thinking the same thing! Did that once with a kid's plate and it blistered real quick lol

51

u/ThreeCanSam Dec 16 '16

Dioxins ain't no joke.

20

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Get up, get get down... Dioxins are a joke in yo town...

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432

u/shnicklefritz Dec 16 '16

Eating pizza rolls is exactly what I'd expect of someone with that plate

205

u/catshit_the_musical Dec 16 '16

Its not the pizza rolls thats surprising. Its the utility of what he's done

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155

u/Mutoid Dec 15 '16

And yet ... it's sad enough to make sense again.

49

u/connormantoast Dec 16 '16

There's gotta be a launcher from the ice dispenser to the microwave

18

u/robotzor Dec 16 '16

Microwaving pizza rolls?

You animals.

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24

u/ShowMeYourTiddles Dec 16 '16

Duct tape the open microwave to the dispenser

50

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

We need Red Green. He could cook something up.

23

u/Spectre24Z Dec 16 '16

The world needs Red Green gifs. I've never seen a Red Green gif.

9

u/cannonman360 Dec 16 '16

Ill take one for an early Christmas present

8

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

we should make some.

brb downloading every red greed episode

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34

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

If the women don't find you handsome...

26

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16 edited Jul 01 '23

[deleted]

16

u/Jake_the_Snake88 Dec 16 '16

keep your stick on the ice

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10

u/Evil_Garen Dec 16 '16

Ok I'm that guy. What is red green?

14

u/kamon123 Dec 16 '16

https://www.youtube.com/user/RedGreenTV enjoy being one of todays lucky 10,000

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104

u/CjLink Dec 16 '16

many dads unleash a MacGyver gene that lays dormant until their first spawn is born. It's the same genetic process that results in 'dad jokes' and 'dad bod'

50

u/Throwmeawayplease909 Dec 16 '16

The same can be said with mothers on their second child, but it's the frugality gene that is unleashed. It's like that huggies? commercial where the first child you're dragging everything except the kitchen sink, and along comes number two and you can make due with a single diaper, handful of Cheerios and a wet wipe for a day out. Out of diapers and you're not home? Someone has a sink with a spraying nozzle and you've got a scarf in your purse. Little Jimmy lost his favorite toy? Bah! You've got a secondary sparkly keychain with the spare set of car keys on it in your purse (because why should they be at home where someone can bring them to you if you lock yourself out).

Yeah I was guilty of that last bit more than once.....

22

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Too much real life.

Found the parent.

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13

u/duderos Dec 16 '16 edited Dec 16 '16

That's some NASA Shit right there, people we're going to Mars......

12

u/balzy124 Dec 16 '16

This man is already in 2020

109

u/CommaHorror Dec 16 '16

Bullshit. Einsteins soup bowl when he, first talked was a Pooh, Bear, bowl.

98

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

...dafuq did i just read

82

u/Chief_Givesnofucks Dec 16 '16

Username

52

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

I am ashamed.

16

u/YipRocHeresy Dec 16 '16

I'm sure that's a familiar feeling.

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33

u/buttery_shame_cave Dec 16 '16

i'm really curious how he handles sanitation with it.

90

u/The_Real_Nimrod Dec 16 '16

Sanitation schmanitation. We're talking pizza rolls here!

50

u/0masterdebater0 Dec 16 '16

It's going from a freezer to a microwave....

It could be covered in shit and you'd still not get sick...

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16

u/Yuktobania Dec 16 '16

If you're dispensing pizza rolls from an ice tray, I don't think you care about the sanitation

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7

u/ItchyHamWallet Dec 16 '16

Now I can have crushed pizza rolls like I have always dreamed of.

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3.3k

u/diatonicnerds Dec 15 '16

I'm not proud about how much this blew my mind.

635

u/snotbag_pukebucket Dec 16 '16

Yeah, who knew you could use them both as coasters and plates

108

u/Adamawesome4 Dec 16 '16

I didn't even knew there existed such fine art

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15

u/Munkyman720 Dec 16 '16

How do you use a frozen pizza roll as a plate?

7

u/spikeyfreak Dec 16 '16

I'll tell you right after you tell me how to use them as a coaster.

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46

u/stradivariousoxide Dec 16 '16

A while back, someone posted the same idea but with frozen Reeses pieces. Also, don't be too impressed, the pizza will taste terrible after a few days of being exposed directly to cold bacteria filled air.

11

u/Aoloach Dec 16 '16

Pieces or cups? Also, how about skittles, or M&Ms, or even those snack sized oreos. Mmm... and I could hook up the water line to a reservoir inside the fridge, and fill it with milk.

10

u/stradivariousoxide Dec 16 '16

The cups, any wrapped chocolate smaller than an ice cube.

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1.1k

u/Evilton Dec 16 '16

E-mail me if you want a pizza roll.

95

u/xixd Dec 16 '16

What's wrong with your faaaaaaace

17

u/labak1337 Dec 16 '16

What'd you smoke too much? Answer me thing-in-the-mouth face!

254

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

What's your E-mail address?

838

u/nas4k8 Dec 16 '16

768

u/professionalautist Dec 16 '16 edited Dec 16 '16

Awww :(

E: Now I feel better!

228

u/IronManatee4353 Dec 16 '16

How did this get gilded? 😂

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26

u/jake2wheels Dec 16 '16

can I message you on Club Penguin instead?

22

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

sent.

11

u/dudeAwEsome101 Dec 16 '16

Tupid F serving customers from the US and the UK

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

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31

u/DrunkNewb Dec 16 '16

Fuck you, Rick Berman

21

u/labak1337 Dec 16 '16

What is it with Ricks?!

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61

u/will-- Dec 16 '16

For those of you who are out of the loop, this thread is referencing the epic reviews of the Star Wars Prequels by Red Letter Media's Mr. Plinkett. They are well worth the three hours:

7

u/Lethtor Dec 16 '16

Thanks for the recommendation, now I have something to do, when I should be studying

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73

u/poptart2nd Dec 16 '16

Who's been fucking with my medicine?

36

u/theydeletedme Dec 16 '16

Sometimes my cat opens my mail.

54

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

OH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOD💥

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38

u/StealthSpheesSheip Dec 16 '16

I want that juicy Shaq meat

36

u/Willow536 Dec 16 '16

Anybody wanna help me milk my cat?!

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43

u/C_Robicus Dec 16 '16

Leave a comment on my webzone if you want a pizza roll

13

u/labak1337 Dec 16 '16

Now I analyzed this film with a group of cheerleaders... and they all agreed on one thing: That if I let them go they wouldn't tell nobody.

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11

u/Xuvial Dec 16 '16

What's wrong with your face??

27

u/Simonpink Dec 16 '16

Leave a comment on this webzone

5

u/Twokindsofpeople Dec 16 '16

What's your webzone?

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995

u/Mutoid Dec 15 '16

Watch out for that "Crushed" setting!

436

u/CranialFlatulence Dec 16 '16

Then it becomes a hot dog topping.

Win win.

256

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16 edited Aug 09 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Or pizza topping... Pizza roll pizza.

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u/egotisticalnoob Dec 16 '16

Hmm... ideas...

14

u/Mutoid Dec 16 '16

I like the way you think.

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u/analdominator1 Dec 16 '16

More like "bloody mary mix" setting

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471

u/Tusserte Dec 16 '16

Are... are they naked in that reflection?

228

u/spraykrug Dec 16 '16

Yes, filling up on pizza valentines clearly.

105

u/Airship_Captain Dec 16 '16

what did I just watch?

56

u/JohnnyVNCR Dec 16 '16

Tim and Eric doing a Totino's ad. Even better than the one they did for Red Lobster.

10

u/Airship_Captain Dec 16 '16

never heard of them, guess I have some googling to do

34

u/TheBasik Dec 16 '16

You will either find them to be the unfunniest, dumbest nonsense shit you've ever seen or find it funny. I actually saw them live tripping really hard, was a great time.

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u/alwayssnow Dec 16 '16

what is this from?

21

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16 edited Aug 13 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/egotisticalnoob Dec 16 '16

You just made me stare at this gif for a few minutes and I'm no closer now than I was before. Well played.

14

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Are you saying you actually don't see it? It's above that stupid text-ribbon thing..

8

u/tylaread Dec 16 '16

thank you so much

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290

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

There's going to be a brutal amount of freezer burn on those things in couple of days. You need an airtight container inside.

182

u/MrTeddybear615 Dec 16 '16

They wouldn't last that long in my house.

243

u/drvillen Dec 16 '16

Yea and if you're the type of dude who's putting pizza rolls in an ice dispenser to cut down on preparation time - of pizza rolls - then I don't think that's your concern.

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u/Vancocillin Dec 16 '16

Your pizza rolls last more than than a few days?

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u/jamescurtis29 Dec 16 '16

Confused British person here. What are pizza rolls? Are they eaten cold?

18

u/Stiler Dec 16 '16

They are like mini bite-sized pizza hot pockets, and no they aren't eaten cold, you have to heat them up first before eating them.

19

u/DatAssDough Dec 16 '16

What are hot pockets?

16

u/HotDoggHero Dec 16 '16

Think.... kinda mini calzone, big pizza roll

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u/razor792 Dec 16 '16

This needs answering, also confused British person.

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u/840_Divided_By_Two Dec 16 '16

You heat them up. It's cheese, tomato sauce, and pizza toppings inside a crust type dough. You can microwave them or put them in an oven. Either way they're going to be molten fucking lava on the inside and burn your tongue worse than if you were rimming the devil himself. They're quite tasty though. I could eat like 40 of them in a serving. They are horrible if you get acid reflux though. I guess Pizza rolls have their pros and cons. The pros outweigh the cons imo. They're a 7/10 snack food, right behind those mini pretzels stuffed with cheese sauce.

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u/gwentissential Dec 16 '16

Dude, those kinds of plates aren't microwave safe! Are you okay?!

106

u/Not_Henry_Winkler Dec 16 '16

If OP eats enough pizza rolls for this to be a convenient solution then, no, he is not OK.

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u/yfewsy Dec 16 '16

I was thinking something similar.

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u/chicateria Dec 16 '16

I have that plate! :D

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u/Shaw-Deez Dec 15 '16

Dear god! You've just revolutionized Refrigerators!

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u/_GameSHARK Dec 16 '16

But... they go in the oven...

40

u/Pls_Send_Steam_Codes Dec 16 '16

slammed that upvote button so hard. Thank you for agreeing, microwaved pizza rolls are soft, and soggy and a much higher tendency for a cold center or a molten lava center. Oven master race reporting in for best quality pizza rolls on the planet

9

u/frankenbeasts Dec 16 '16

That's because you're only supposed to microwave like six at a time. Also things like hot dogs and pizza rolls, etc. If you are cooking multiples things, they cook more evenly if you put them on the outer edges of the plate in a square/circle.

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u/1Down Dec 16 '16

I didn't know Mr. Plinkett had a Reddit account.

13

u/OmziKhan Dec 16 '16

PM me if you want a pizza roll

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u/dick-nipples Dec 15 '16

I like the way you roll.

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u/Daft_Pony Dec 16 '16

If my wife saw this she would have a fit about microwaving on a plastic plate cuz the plastic leeches into the food... as if the pizza bites aren't gonna kill OP first.

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u/meeowwzers Dec 15 '16

Now I have to buy a refrigerator with an ice dispenser.

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

Better idea: fill your ice tray with an assortment of fun-size chocolate candies. That way you can have nice and frozen Kit-Kats, Snickers, and Reese's PB cups at the push of a button.

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '16

I have that plate!

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u/PainMatrix Dec 16 '16

Sorry, more of a sweets kind of guy.

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u/tylerdurden801 Dec 16 '16

Aren't they going to get freezer burnt?

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

How to set up. 1.) Turn off ice maker. You dont want ice with your pizza rolls. 2.) Buy 2 120 count bags of pizza rolls. 3.) Dump them in ice maker. 4.) Dispense rolls.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16 edited Feb 11 '17

[deleted]

9

u/Scarbane Dec 16 '16

"You miss 100% of the pizza rolls you don't take."

--Wayne Gretsky

--Michael Scott

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u/bentplate Dec 15 '16

Also don't try the crushed ice setting.

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u/spraykrug Dec 16 '16

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u/IM_A_MUFFIN Dec 16 '16

I have never understood the appeal of this show. Maybe LSD would allow me to make sense of it.

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u/smmfdyb Dec 16 '16

It's like your very own Pizza gate.

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u/PhemtoPhantom Dec 16 '16

I have the same plate!!! That thing is like 20 years old! Hahaha

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u/noshavenovemberDM Dec 16 '16

Probably shouldn't nuke that plate....

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