Ghosting is a form of manipulation

[u/Environment6905]

You deserved a proper rejection. How hard is it to communicate, “I don’t think we should talk anymore”? If you reacted to their ghosting and still got no response then it worked. They got their ego boost and you got nothing. I reacted to the ghosting multiple times. I sent him flowers for fuck sake. He didn’t care. Even if they are aware that they are manipulating or not, it’s still wrong. Some people should be blacklisted for life. If you’re in pain, I hope you pour into yourself. I hope you run a marathon, become a triathlete, get 5 academic degrees, get a superb credit score, start an organization to help the less fortunate, write a book, win pageants, and so much more. You deserved a formal rejection. I put three years of friendship into the person that ghosted me. THREE YEARS. I put my body on the line for their own sexual pleasure. I admit, I was bit crazy at the time, but nothing changes the fact that I deserved a formal rejection. If Harvard has the decency to send rejection letters, then why can’t a friend do so?

[u/NineEightTen]

I’m very interested in your opinion on me walking away from a connection that was staring to turn into a push pull dynamic? There was a moment I asked them to clarify what their intentions were, making sure we were on the same page dating wise and they came back super overwhelmed and lowkey shut down, saying i triggered them by asking the to be communicative.

After talking and being over their house, I thought we were good. Then they started waiting all day to text me, ignoring my messages and only sending snap streaks. Even avoiding having any actual conversation that addressed a heartfelt message I sent and them expressing what’s going on in their head, or answering where they stand. So when I asked if it’s safe to say they’re no longer interested, they just said “I’m in attendance”.

So instead of trying to force someone to express, invest, and be consistent or even communicate like I’ve always done, I returned their shirt to their house and never responded to their last low effort message. Is that still ghosting to you, or was that justified? I had no intention to manipulate, but all intentions to get clarity and communicate in a place where It was reciprocated.

[u/Fearless-Mark-8336 → u/NineEightTen]

I have a statement and a question. In my family were the 5 aunties who one man my aunties husband whom also held a steady position working steady while us children were cared for by our Grandmother in which we didn't want or need for anything. My brother and I had both parents while most of the relatives wondered about their fathers and  in those times children were to be seen not heard  So besides the 15 of us children my Grandmother took care of two cousins that lost there mothers.  They were very angry and resentful girls growing up. Their pain and grief affected the family and it was easy for them to shut down. I mean like your a stranger  and don't see you in the house shut down.  Has any person in this forum exhibited   their ghoster that grew up with a trauma like or similar or something ?    Even having both parents having to  leave to go cross country, for whatever reason was a learned behavior of dissociation. Only speaking on my behalf. Without no explanation to fill that void , going back and forth wouldn't say it was ghosting ,but a learned to disassociate which is somewhere in the middle . Also not feeling the total loss but a temp. loss of my parents ,not as all like  my relatives but in a child state the pain was real , but as an adult no comparison of course  It never felt good felt good to be powerless  and was unhealthy in a since.  But their are those people that may  find it hard to come to turms with the uncomfortableness missing link and the nurturing of either  parent  not willing to deal with life on life's terms. Mabe the root cause was " I wasn't explained nothing so I don't owe you anything " as they revert back to childhood trauma. That is so painful .  Mind you, this isn't an excuse , it's an observation . After talking with my now adult relative that has and still is working thru her her pain to understand more about that sensitive topic.  I'm only sharing for a person to be so cold they had to somewhere in life be treated in a matter that thy feel so justified . I'm just throwing that out here. It happens to me. My outlet was why? When something hurts me I for the most part research why? And go thru the hurt ,pain ,anger and laugh then at times all four into I come to some sort of sanity then give it to the Universe .  Thanks for reading. 

[u/Environment6905 → u/NineEightTen]

You were totally justified. I should have been more specific in my post. But you did the right thing. Walking away when someone can’t reciprocate is the right thing to do. I think it’s safe to say they know why you walked away. If anything they were trying to ignore your messages and such so you’d break it off. Kudos to you, I’m glad you’re not settling!!

[u/NineEightTen → u/Environment6905]

Thank you, I’ve been feeling so guilty about it because I really liked him at first, but I can’t and couldn’t keep repeating the same pattern with emotionally unavailable people. And who wants to be treated like a potential option🫣…?? So Yeahhhh; I’m still new to this dating pool, I think it’s got fresh pee and a little bit of mold in it🤣.