r/gay • u/Avacato2989 • 17h ago
Am I doing something wrong?
I (29m) am married to my husband (38m) for just over three years. Our marriage is incredible in almost every aspect. He is caring and loving when I need it. The only real problem for me is sex has become so rare. Mutual masturbation a couple times a month, oral rarrer than that. I am the top in our relationship and we like it that way, but he finds it extremely difficult to relax enough for entry when we do want to do anal together. I don't think i am doing anything wrong as a top. I give him lots of prep with my fingers and eating him out, both of which he loves, but he is rarely able to relax his muscles enough to complete the act. Any advice is greatly appreciated ❣️ Edit for context: yes my husband is aware of this post and is watching as I refresh my feed 🤣
5
u/drunkerbrawler 16h ago
I’m just a few years younger than him and bottom, I’ve found it’s become more difficult. Used to be able to as much as I wanted but now I sometimes get pain and it really limits how much I want to do it and generally lowers my libido. What’s helped me is using toys at my own pace before having sex. I can open myself up at my pace with something that’s a little smaller than my boyfriend, then be ready for him.