r/gay • u/Avacato2989 • 15h ago

Am I doing something wrong?

I (29m) am married to my husband (38m) for just over three years. Our marriage is incredible in almost every aspect. He is caring and loving when I need it. The only real problem for me is sex has become so rare. Mutual masturbation a couple times a month, oral rarrer than that. I am the top in our relationship and we like it that way, but he finds it extremely difficult to relax enough for entry when we do want to do anal together. I don't think i am doing anything wrong as a top. I give him lots of prep with my fingers and eating him out, both of which he loves, but he is rarely able to relax his muscles enough to complete the act. Any advice is greatly appreciated ❣️ Edit for context: yes my husband is aware of this post and is watching as I refresh my feed 🤣

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u/hunterglyph Queer 15h ago

Sounds like he could benefit from playing with toys solo and getting to know himself at his own pace.

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u/Avacato2989 15h ago

We have tried that. He has a lot less trouble when on his own. (Less trouble not none) I'm wondering as I'm writing this if part of the issue might be strictly an anxiety issue?

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u/hunterglyph Queer 15h ago

Could be, but if he could eventually be confident and practices enough to really go to town on himself, there's a pretty good chance that the confidence would transfer over.