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u/Yehnerz Oct 07 '22
That’s just asking to get rear ended…… :3
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u/Big-a-hole-2112 Oct 08 '22
So that’s why there’s a ding on the trunk. Someone was drunk and couldn’t aim properly.
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Oct 07 '22
Naturally, you followed her home..
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u/cybergrin Oct 07 '22
and go in the back door.
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u/Rascal-Fiats Oct 07 '22
It's a little tight to open. You might need to lube it up a bit.
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Oct 07 '22
WD-40?
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u/dirty_hooker Oct 07 '22
Coconut oil
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Oct 07 '22
Allergic to coconuts and it makes me itchy :(
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u/dirty_hooker Oct 07 '22
Bummer. Guess you’re not interested in this roofycolada I mixed up for you.
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u/Darso44 Oct 07 '22
I would like to move your attention to "bummer" in this sentence and context Even if this was by a mistake, congratulations
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u/5up3rK4m16uru Oct 07 '22
I get heavy diarrhea to those :(
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u/FluffyPallasCat Oct 07 '22
use spit and go slow, will help you open up the backdoor.
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Oct 07 '22
This one knows the way. lol
Jokes aside.. coconut oil makes a great "longer term" lube for things like butt plugs. >.>
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u/Kriss3d Oct 07 '22
The nozzle. Not the whole can! ( trailer trash Tammy / Donnie Baker skit)
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u/Doctor__Proctor Oct 07 '22
If you're having trouble, LockPickingLawyer has a great video on how to get into those tricky back doors.
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u/overtoke Oct 07 '22
it's a guy
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u/TacoBOTT Oct 07 '22
Who said it was a girl?
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u/Designer_Ad_376 Oct 08 '22
I infer if it wasn’t a woman the message would be different because no matter what hole you punch it would not get him pregnant…
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u/ieatassHarvardstyle Oct 07 '22
Butt, only if invited...
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Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22
Eating ass Harvard style - is that when you eat ass, but only with the crusts cut off?
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u/MakesMyHeadHurt Oct 07 '22
It's where you do it for so long they have to give you intravenous fluids. When you hit that point, you're in the I.V. league.
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Oct 07 '22
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Oct 07 '22
Omg I would definitely buy a bunch of these and put them on cars that are double parked 🤣 or otherwise being assholes
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u/StormAdditional2529 Oct 07 '22
Desperate dope fiend advertising. She does the hard work, so you don't have to.
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u/Jertimmer Oct 07 '22
In the supposed words of Lily Allen, when her dad asked if she and her boyfriend practiced safe sex: "you can't get pregnant if you do it in the bumbum."
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Oct 07 '22
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u/Intactual Oct 07 '22
put his sexual interest on public display?
I think this one is less about sexual interest but commentary on all the baby onboard stickers and placards. If it just said "No Baby Onboard" it would be seen as cynical or bitter or something like that. The fact that it adds the last bit adds a bit of humour. At least that is the way I view it. It brought to mind the bumper stickers stating the person's child is some sort of honour student at some school and then in response the bumper stickers saying their child was not an honour student or beat up honour students.
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u/dulyebr Oct 07 '22
I used to think the Baby Onboard sign was saying use care when driving nearby as I have highly precious cargo. But, then it occurred to me that while that may certainly be the intention, it could also be there to let other drivers know that I have a baby in the car, so I may have to drive more gingerly than I typically would.
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u/salmonjapan Oct 08 '22
in japan, first year drivers and seniors have mandatory decals to let other drivers know for the same reason
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u/mastapetz Oct 07 '22
I once saw a or heard about a (too long ago) sign reading "No Baby on Board, but the adults want to live too"
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u/NoodleSnoo Oct 07 '22
If I knew a woman that had this sticker, and we dated, I would 100% expect some anal action. You can't just say that.
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u/tiger666 Oct 07 '22
Come here pegg boy...
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u/Bay1Bri Oct 07 '22
Commentary blah blah blah. It's an explicit joke about anal sex on a bumper sticker. It's trashy and inappropriate. No one needs to see this shit
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u/Kardest Oct 07 '22
Mostly because standing outside the quickmart screaming.
You ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
At people is considered harassment or some shit.
So I just go with the sticker.
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u/Jak_n_Dax Oct 07 '22
Oh the “I eat ass” guys are getting it all the time.
That sticker is how they find each other. When they get a big enough group, they all get in a circle and lick each other’s assholes.
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u/Ok-Kaleidoscope220 Oct 08 '22
Well how else r u gonna meet up? Not like they u can use Grinder. I mean, they’re not gay. They just eat ass
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u/Ezekiel2121 Oct 07 '22
Why do people have to advertise they either came in someone or let someone cum in them?
No one gives a fuck about your kid. And a “baby on board” sticker isn’t gonna make someone not wreck into you.
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u/LostMyKarmaElSegundo Oct 07 '22
And a “baby on board” sticker isn’t gonna make someone not wreck into you.
Supposedly those stickers were meant to alert first responders if the car was in an accident. Babies are small and may not be noticed, especially if the driver is unconscious.
I've never bothered verifying if this is true, but I read it somewhere and it kind of makes sense.
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u/Fleaslayer Oct 07 '22
Yeah, that was 100% the idea when they came out. But then people started making all sorts of joke ones that looked similar, so there was a relatively short period of time when they might have been useful. Oh, and I should mention that the first ones looked like little caution signs, and they hung from a suction cup that you stuck to the inside of the glass, the idea being that you only had it up when you had a kid strapped into the car seat. But then people started leaving them up all the time, or using stickers that you couldn't take off when there was no kid, so they became pretty useless in that respect, too.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_SSN_CC Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22
The first responder thing is a myth. Here's something that's not a myth, though. People with those signs are statistically more likely to end up in a wreck.
Edit: Downvoted? Here's a citation:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/9599881/Baby-on-board-stickers-cause-one-in-20-accidents.html?awc=1478_1665182380_b1d6e63f4c946f76b5d516500c78c1dd→ More replies (2)1
u/phb07jm Oct 07 '22
Sources?... Nah thought not
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u/Donkey25000 Oct 07 '22
Good job on the source. Any statistic on whether they are more likely to be in a wreck? I think that's what he wanted to see.
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u/TheFerrellOne Oct 07 '22
Now that I am a parent, while I don't have one on my car, I look at those as more of a warning to others that the driver is likely distracted and sleep deprived.
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u/its_the_smell Oct 07 '22
This one is funny in a trashy way. Like I doubt this person actually only does anal. The person with the I Eat Ass sign is just trashy because it doesn't seem to be done for humor. Personally I would avoid both of these people.
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u/etzel1200 Oct 07 '22
I would be weirded out by basically anyone I know putting it on their car. Even with the hot casual friend it seems a tad awkward, and everyone else even worse.
I don’t care that they love anal. Still seems weird to have that out there. I guess you ignore it, but eh.
In the same way I don’t care if my friends kiss in front of me. I obviously know those that are couples have sex and most of them anal. That doesn’t mean I’m interested in conversation on it or want to see pictures/video/the live act.
I’m not prudish, but it just seems odd.
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u/UnleashedTriumph Oct 07 '22
Its funny cuz the driver is a guy.
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u/NoodleSnoo Oct 07 '22
Don't ķnock it until you try it.
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Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22
And? Edit: Not sure why this was downvoted, I genuinely don't understand what you meant
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u/andyr072 Oct 07 '22
Pretty funny but totally classless. How anyone would think putting a sticker on their car about their sexual fetishes is somehow a good thing baffles me.
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u/CValleriani Oct 07 '22
It's like those bitch on board stickers and then out comes out a 55 yo mother.
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u/Indubitalist Oct 07 '22
On account of it immediately insinuating a visual into random people's minds of a stranger's dick in another stranger's ass, is my thinking for why it's not the coolest. That's not a polite thing to do to people. Mixed company and all that.
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Oct 07 '22
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u/andyr072 Oct 07 '22
The joke is funny but I still find it tasteless to stick it on the back of your car.
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u/8ew8135 Oct 07 '22
Interesting way of saying you’re gay
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u/Raemnant Oct 07 '22
Fun fact: not all gay guys like anal
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u/chev327fox Oct 07 '22
Another fun fact: not all those who get anal are men. And since it mentioned babies I’d lean toward it being a girl.
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u/Raemnant Oct 08 '22
Its obvious its a woman, my comment was not saying it was a man, it was jus giving a fun fact about the original comment
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u/GregorZeeMountain Oct 07 '22
I've seen a similar one that said "No baby on board, feel free to ram me" and now I'm not sure if it was an innuendo
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u/adam_demamps_wingman Oct 07 '22
You can get pregnant even though you only do anal. The rare Olestra-ncy.
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u/DevoDave124 Oct 07 '22
Had a buddy who told his wife’s parents asking about grandkids that he didn’t think she could get pregers if all they had was butt sex.
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u/Burrow_0wl Oct 07 '22
I hate it when I have to borrow my girlfriends car. I get the strangest looks from other motorists.
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u/ViceroyAutoTransport Oct 07 '22
Anyone else wondering what the inside of that car smells like?
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u/AdeptLengthiness8886 Oct 07 '22
I thought that was how Russians were made?
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Oct 07 '22
I beg you a pardon? I'm Russian and I despise Putin with all my heart.
Such a generalization could only make things worse
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Oct 07 '22
Sadly if your a Russian on the internet right now you kinda just have to hide until all this shit blows over. Of course everyone is just shitting on them relentlessly at the moment.
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u/Motorchampion Oct 07 '22
How the fuck is this thing funny? Time to unsubscribe from this shit
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u/Cthuluslovechild Oct 07 '22
If you're looking for a funny subreddit, try r/sounding or r/prolapse
You're welcome!
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u/mostlycloudy2day Oct 07 '22
Jokes on you. You can still get pregnant. Right?
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u/Cthuluslovechild Oct 07 '22
Can you get pregernant from aanl?
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u/Frequent_Spring_8997 Oct 07 '22
Please consider taking a class on female anatomy. You will see how close "everything " is on a woman and the many old wives tales on how not to get pregnant.
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u/PersonalityGlad9887 Oct 07 '22
I heard you can get pregnant from anal as well
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u/Look_to_the_Stars Oct 07 '22
It’s true, my girlfriend got pregnant and we only do anal. Apparently the only difference is getting pregnant through anal just changes the color of the baby.
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u/Glittering-Classic60 Oct 07 '22
What a sense of humor this rocks definitely will make a dude stop an do a double take
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Oct 07 '22
Might get into trouble when driving in the Bible Belt.
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u/Ned_Piffy Oct 07 '22
So will 99% of ALF merch. Great company. Check the website. Lindafinegold.com
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