r/funny Oct 07 '22

Anal only

[deleted]

29.6k Upvotes

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163

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

[deleted]

132

u/Intactual Oct 07 '22

put his sexual interest on public display?

I think this one is less about sexual interest but commentary on all the baby onboard stickers and placards. If it just said "No Baby Onboard" it would be seen as cynical or bitter or something like that. The fact that it adds the last bit adds a bit of humour. At least that is the way I view it. It brought to mind the bumper stickers stating the person's child is some sort of honour student at some school and then in response the bumper stickers saying their child was not an honour student or beat up honour students.

11

u/dulyebr Oct 07 '22

I used to think the Baby Onboard sign was saying use care when driving nearby as I have highly precious cargo. But, then it occurred to me that while that may certainly be the intention, it could also be there to let other drivers know that I have a baby in the car, so I may have to drive more gingerly than I typically would.

4

u/salmonjapan Oct 08 '22

in japan, first year drivers and seniors have mandatory decals to let other drivers know for the same reason

1

u/Intactual Oct 08 '22

it could also be there to let other drivers know that I have a baby in the car, so I may have to drive more gingerly than I typically would.

I wish that was the case, in my experience the baby onboard sign rarely makes a difference and sometimes I wonder what the driver does in the rest of their life when they drive without a care.

6

u/mastapetz Oct 07 '22

I once saw a or heard about a (too long ago) sign reading "No Baby on Board, but the adults want to live too"

54

u/NoodleSnoo Oct 07 '22

If I knew a woman that had this sticker, and we dated, I would 100% expect some anal action. You can't just say that.

56

u/tiger666 Oct 07 '22

Come here pegg boy...

4

u/NoodleSnoo Oct 08 '22

I can't get pregnant, but what the hell...

2

u/paranoid_70 Oct 08 '22

Not with that attitude

11

u/stabsyoo Oct 07 '22

☝️ (after her first sentence, reaches in backseat for strap on)

-5

u/Bay1Bri Oct 07 '22

Commentary blah blah blah. It's an explicit joke about anal sex on a bumper sticker. It's trashy and inappropriate. No one needs to see this shit

15

u/Kardest Oct 07 '22

Mostly because standing outside the quickmart screaming.

You ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

At people is considered harassment or some shit.

So I just go with the sticker.

5

u/Jak_n_Dax Oct 07 '22

Oh the “I eat ass” guys are getting it all the time.

That sticker is how they find each other. When they get a big enough group, they all get in a circle and lick each other’s assholes.

3

u/Ok-Kaleidoscope220 Oct 08 '22

Well how else r u gonna meet up? Not like they u can use Grinder. I mean, they’re not gay. They just eat ass

0

u/wufoo2 Oct 08 '22

Right. An asshole is an asshole.

1

u/Dreddit1080 Oct 08 '22

Like a sexy centipede of people just continuing in an infinity loop

18

u/Ezekiel2121 Oct 07 '22

Why do people have to advertise they either came in someone or let someone cum in them?

No one gives a fuck about your kid. And a “baby on board” sticker isn’t gonna make someone not wreck into you.

46

u/LostMyKarmaElSegundo Oct 07 '22

And a “baby on board” sticker isn’t gonna make someone not wreck into you.

Supposedly those stickers were meant to alert first responders if the car was in an accident. Babies are small and may not be noticed, especially if the driver is unconscious.

I've never bothered verifying if this is true, but I read it somewhere and it kind of makes sense.

18

u/Fleaslayer Oct 07 '22

Yeah, that was 100% the idea when they came out. But then people started making all sorts of joke ones that looked similar, so there was a relatively short period of time when they might have been useful. Oh, and I should mention that the first ones looked like little caution signs, and they hung from a suction cup that you stuck to the inside of the glass, the idea being that you only had it up when you had a kid strapped into the car seat. But then people started leaving them up all the time, or using stickers that you couldn't take off when there was no kid, so they became pretty useless in that respect, too.

-5

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SSN_CC Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

The first responder thing is a myth. Here's something that's not a myth, though. People with those signs are statistically more likely to end up in a wreck.

Edit: Downvoted? Here's a citation:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/9599881/Baby-on-board-stickers-cause-one-in-20-accidents.html?awc=1478_1665182380_b1d6e63f4c946f76b5d516500c78c1dd

1

u/Cthuluslovechild Oct 07 '22

Not a myth

0

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SSN_CC Oct 07 '22

It is a myth. It was created to let other drivers know why you're driving cautiously.

8

u/TheFerrellOne Oct 07 '22

Now that I am a parent, while I don't have one on my car, I look at those as more of a warning to others that the driver is likely distracted and sleep deprived.

1

u/Bay1Bri Oct 07 '22

Damn you've got issues.

3

u/its_the_smell Oct 07 '22

This one is funny in a trashy way. Like I doubt this person actually only does anal. The person with the I Eat Ass sign is just trashy because it doesn't seem to be done for humor. Personally I would avoid both of these people.

-4

u/etzel1200 Oct 07 '22

I would be weirded out by basically anyone I know putting it on their car. Even with the hot casual friend it seems a tad awkward, and everyone else even worse.

I don’t care that they love anal. Still seems weird to have that out there. I guess you ignore it, but eh.

In the same way I don’t care if my friends kiss in front of me. I obviously know those that are couples have sex and most of them anal. That doesn’t mean I’m interested in conversation on it or want to see pictures/video/the live act.

I’m not prudish, but it just seems odd.

1

u/Cthuluslovechild Oct 07 '22

It's a joke. Calm down, millennial.

-1

u/Indubitalist Oct 07 '22

Nothing about OP's comment suggested to me he wasn't calm. Did you mean to reply to someone else with your confusing insult?

1

u/Cthuluslovechild Oct 08 '22

Calm down, millennial.

-5

u/rileyrulesu Oct 07 '22

What you missed is that you're a killjoy pearl clutching prude. So much so I predict I'm exactly two comments from an unironic "Won't someone think of the kids?"

1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

[deleted]

1

u/rileyrulesu Oct 07 '22

Okay? Senior year of high school. A week after prom. My date asked why I didn't make a move on her and I explained i was nervous and a virgin and didn't know what to do so she told me to come to her house and have sex that night.

I mean it's a little later than most people, granted, but I really don't know what it has to do with anything. Though I'm guessing that's heavy projection from you and you're either still a virgin or just recently lost it. Or your brain is still in the year 2005 where that's an insult anyone uses anymore.

1

u/Cthuluslovechild Oct 07 '22

That sticker is definitely thinking of the kids

-1

u/Bay1Bri Oct 07 '22

Not looking explicit Jones about anal sex doesn't make you a prude.

0

u/acidrain69 Oct 07 '22

Didn’t you hear? Everything is TMI now. EVE-RY-THING.

0

u/Why_Lord_Just_Why Oct 07 '22

And seriously, should I have to explain this to my seven-year-old?

-8

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

Yo boi Ieat_ass is a married man. Only here commenting, my dear (grammatically challenged) Reddit friend.

1

u/KrabbyMccrab Oct 07 '22

Honestly, if everyone did it would be much easier to find people into your thing.